"Burning Man: Satan's Birthday Party"

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:32 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:"after the unsuccessful bid of HELCO (tm) on the playa in 96, Satan, or, The Big "S" as he's known around the streets, fell into a deep depression (hence the small playa) and is finally back on his cloven feet, tanned, rested and ready for the 2008 season."

Bernie Mann, Press Secretary for The Prince of Darkness, Sparks, Nevada.

I am so happy for Satan that he's feeling better. Now maybe he can help me get that nookie that I'm jonesing for.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:49 pm

That's Satan, not Santa Claus. Or even Satan Claus...

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:37 pm

Well, we all know that Santa's No Angel.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:12 pm

So, Satan's birthday cake must have a lot of candles on it by this time. And isn't it sort of mink-fucky to expect him to blow them out?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:31 pm

you know DAMN well they'll only ignite again.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:01 am

theCryptofishist wrote:So, Satan's birthday cake must have a lot of candles on it by this time. And isn't it sort of mink-fucky to expect him to blow them out?

What, are you nuts? Who do you think invented the mind-fuck?

honeyfire · Post by **honeyfire** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:26 am

Satan would love it you bought his birthday gift at Walmart, it's pretty much his store, so you're paying him for the gift you give him. Pretty sweet.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:48 pm

So...are we sacrificing humans or kittens this year? The ticket usually says..

Post by **mdmf007** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:04 pm

I heard, that for every ticket to BM sold, a chinese child is crippled!!.

I also heard that 67% of ststistics online are made up.

Queue · Post by **Queue** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:07 am

I also heard that 67% of ststistics online are made up.

I read in USA Today that 83% of all people make something up in normal conversation everyday.

Alright I just made that up.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:19 am

It would be a shame if I had to resort to self-deception to preserve my faith in objective reality.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 9:20 am

The man that we're burning is actually an effigy of Jesus! Rejoice!

Post by **mdmf007** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:12 am

even satan should get a decent birthday party now and then

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 5:00 pm

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Tue Jul 01, 2008 12:41 am

fuck! that pic is depressing! Thought satan IS an angel..however far he fell.

are we talikng bout satan or Santana?

Mi Nomine Baphomet

whyrd · Post by **whyrd** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 10:37 am

theCryptofishist wrote:And isn't it sort of mink-fucky ...?

Ok, I'm going to assume that was an intentional typo, as the image of satan attempting coitus with a snarling, gnashing, semi-aquatic carniverous mammal is just too good to pass up.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:38 pm

TomServo wrote:fuck! that pic is depressing! Thought satan IS an angel..however far he fell.

are we talikng bout satan or Santana?

Mi Nomine Baphomet

Poor Satan, you'd think he'd be gathering tons of slaves, but true free thinkers are hard to find.

ZaphodBurner · Post by **ZaphodBurner** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:35 pm

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It's the Worldly Luke Warm Once-Saved Always Saved and the Rich People you gotta watch out for, not to mention the Adultresses.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:38 pm

Oh
I got a message from below
'Twas from a man I used to know
About a year or so ago
Before he departed
He
Is just as happy as can be
I'll tell you what he said to me
He said, "If ever you get heavy-hearted

Pack up your sins and go to the devil in Hades
You'll meet the finest of gentlemen and the finest of ladies
They'd rather be down below than up above
Hades is full of thousands of
Joneses and Browns, O'Hoolihans, Cohens and Bradys
You'll hear a heavenly tune that went to the devil
Because the jazz bands
They started pickin' it
Then put a trick in it
A jazzy kick in it
They've got a couple of old reformers in Heaven
Making them go to bed at eleven
Pack up your sins and go to the devil
And you'll never have to go to bed at all

If you care to dwell where the weather is hot
H-E-double-L is a wonderful spot
If you need a rest and you're all out of sorts
Hades is the best of the winter resorts
Paradise doesn't compare
All the nice people are there
They come there from ev'rywhere
Just to revel with Mister Devil
Nothing on his mind but a couple of horns
Satan is waitin' with his jazz band
And his band came from Alabam' with a melody hot
No one gives a damn if it's music or not
Satan's melody makes you want to dance forever
And you never have to go to bed at all

OxyCottn420 · Post by **OxyCottn420** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:21 pm

"Im the devil i love metal--Check this rift its fuckin tasty!"

"im the devil and I can do what I want. Whatever I got, Im gonna flaunt! Theres never been a rock off that Ive ever lost. I cant wait to take all u to hell to fill u with my hot demon gel!"

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:52 pm

I wish someone would update that Satan's Birthday web site.

So much more has gone on since they put it together. It'd be a shame if they left out the better part parth of 5 years worth of hell raising.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 10:52 am

I died in sin and forthwith went to Hell;
I made myself at home upon the coals
Where seas of flame break on the cinder shoals.
Till Satan came and said with angry yell,
"You there â€“ divulge what route by which you fell."
"I spent my youth among the flowing bowls,
"Wasted my life with women of dark souls,
"Died brothel-fighting â€“ drunk on muscatel."

Said he, "My friend, youâ€™ve been directed wrong:
"Youâ€™ve naught to recommend you for our feasts â€“
"Like factory owners, brokers, elders, priests;
"The air for you! This place is for the strong!"
Then as I pondered, minded to rebel,
He laughed and forthwith kicked me out of Hell.

-REH

cheesynei · Post by **cheesynei** » Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:26 pm

i have read this guys rantings and they bother me, a christian who can not wait to get to BRC . his religion is different from most christians i know. i am coming to burning man to have fun, meet fun and cool and DIFFERENT people. i have no agenda, or tracts or sermons. please try to see that this guy is the exception. i want to be your friend no matter what or who you do.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:49 pm

a christian who can not wait to get to BRC

prepare the lions.

fciron · Post by **fciron** » Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:44 pm

Cheesynei,

The best thing that you could have donefor christians would have been to leave this thread back in 2008, where we ignored or laughed at that paranoic's hysteria last time.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:44 am

It's still a real knee-slapper.

Post by **mdmf007** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:15 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:
a christian who can not wait to get to BRC
prepare the lions.

Are we having lion for dinner?

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:10 pm

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:10 pm

The devil made me do it.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:24 pm

it was of your own free will, quit lion.

"Burning Man: Satan's Birthday Party"

You could get him a new playacruiser bike

Irving Berlin

i gotta say,