Snarkers Anonymous

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:49 pm

My name is Fishy and I'm a Snark.
I've been on this board since 2003 and I just get tired of seeing arrogant young pups saying stupid things, so I say something nasty, hoping to shut them up. Those pups say the same thing over and over anyway. I don't care about djs--I didn't even when I could dance, sorta. I'm not a good joiner, and that loud music overwhelms me; I prefer witty conversation. So, I'm very tempted to be nasty to djs. Especially when they ask for free tickets and act like they're doing me a favor.

**burn** · Post by **burn** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:03 pm

theCryptofishist -

I'm young-ish, sometimes arrogant, often say stupid things, and I am hoping waiting wanting you to say something nasty to me.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:10 pm

How the fuck is that helping me surrender to a higher power? You're just trying to tempt me into a snark fest.

**burn** · Post by **burn** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:13 pm

This had something to do with higher power?

Oops, wrong thread! I thought I was at a snark meeting.

Hey, do you have a spare ticket you would like to gift me in the spirit of the playa? I am SUPER cool!

EspressoDude · Post by **EspressoDude** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:38 pm

**burn** wrote:This had something to do with higher power?

Oops, wrong thread! I thought I was at a snark meeting.

Hey, do you have a spare ticket you would like to gift me in the spirit of the playa? I am SUPER cool!

only if yu r a DJ that plays superrad doodah tripstep ironrock westerncuntry jazz symphony stuff at 12 kazillion decibels 25/8 and uses 27000 megawatt headphones, with the tooones on your laptop, and no fuckin talent

motskyroonmatick · Post by **motskyroonmatick** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:44 pm

I appreciate your snark and the excellent way it is applied! You are a snark doctor. When someone is crying out for snark you are there with a treatment. It may or may not help them but it helps all the rest of us.

Post by **mdmf007** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:59 pm

Fishy, Fishy, Fishy...

I love the snarkiness. And your lucky enough to be able to boot assshats that go over the edge.

Anyways - I almost always Pm the newbies (the ones that i pity anyways) about the snarkiness, and the wit, and dry humor, and banter, and quips.

Ayways - on with the snarkyness.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:59 pm

She's a snark, I'm a snark, your a snark, everyone can be a snark...

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:05 pm

Well I for one am apalled at the mistreatment of those poor DJ's! I mean, they are trying to provide a valuable and useful service to the community here, if they don't play their shitty house music (a variety of shitty house music to boot!) then who will?

They are willing to play CD's and all they ask in return is free tickets, seems more than fair to me... everyone knows there's an enormous DJ shortage at Burning Man!
And then Crypto Fishy has to go and burn them so bad they probably held each other and cried until they fell asleep in each other's arms...

I hope you can find the help you so desperately need, I lost an uncle to Snark, and it wasn't pretty.
:+}

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:11 pm

This thread was better over on Burning Bridges.

When it was about fucking goddesses.

Heh, why aren't there any women DJs? Seriously, I don't know of one!

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:50 pm

Fingernails get in the way of the play button on the I-Pod.

Digital-Dragonfly · Post by **Digital-Dragonfly** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:50 pm

I gots a ipod of old lame shit... you mean I too can be a DJ?

Kinetik V · Post by **Kinetik V** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:59 pm

Digital-Dragonfly wrote:I gots a ipod of old lame shit... you mean I too can be a DJ?

Yep! And if you milk it just right you too could possibly score free tix to BM. Here's some DJ's that are trying just that...
http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... 642#390642

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:27 pm

Im DJ Jiggy Dammitt Diggy Dogg, and I bring a big mutant vehicle that seats lots of people, lots of margarita supplies, tools and knowledge and parts to fix shit, and a goddamm sound system and an iPod.
Screw those other DJs! Spend the same amount of cash donating to my fuel fund! I'll play tunes for you AND pour you a frosty margarita AND take you on a cruise on the playa!

In fact, I'll do all that for nuthin'!
Why the fuck would anyone subsidize some freeloading one-trick "DJs"?
The real asshole is whoever helps make their bullshit work and gives them free tickets and room & board.

capjbadger · Post by **capjbadger** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:27 am

*Stands up*

Hi, I'm Badger and I've been snark-free since 5pm.

...

What? I was napping.

DOH!

Badger

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:37 am

* Raises hand *

Can I use the bathroom ?

I Really hafta go bad.

capjbadger · Post by **capjbadger** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:48 am

oneeyeddick wrote:* Raises hand *

Can I use the bathroom ?

I Really hafta go bad.

Only if you go piss on a BM begger.

Badger

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:15 am

Ive been going to Burning Man since 1855, I invented Larry Harvey! Hell! the Black Rock Desert was my own doin! Now shut up and take my abuse!

jesus H motherfucking christ!

I love spear fishing!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:19 am

plays the bass guitar....remember?...instruments?

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:35 am

AntiM wrote:This thread was better over on Burning Bridges.

When it was about fucking goddesses.

Heh, why aren't there any women DJs? Seriously, I don't know of one!

Why?
Because it's a mechanical skill!

Maybe they would rather actually play music?

We had quite a few women playing records on the radio stations I've worked on.
One of my favorites would go from Brel to J Airplane and then play some unusual stuff.
I like Black Sabbath played on accordion and viola.
I got a good response to mixing Jan and Dean with the Beatles once.
I won't bore you with the special effects mixes, but I did get a lot of calls from folks too zonked to deal with it, begging me to stop.

They always asked if what they heard was real, first.

JezebelinHell · Post by **JezebelinHell** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:49 am

Hi, my name is Miki and I'm a snark. It's been twelve hours since my last sarcastic comment to an idiot. Where's my fucking token?

DaddyMassive · Post by **DaddyMassive** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:11 am

But..but..but..this is teh internets.

If you can't be a bare faced obnoxious cunt from the safety of your own secret bunker when/where else can one get that kinda opportunity in life??

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:25 am

You think the netweb is anonymous?
That's so cute.

Better be wireless using an artificial number on your machine or running through randomized servers with anonymizing service if you want to get close.

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 7:43 am

It's a renewable resource...no need to worry about "jumping the snark".

If this was "Snark Crystal", then Fishie would definitely be an UrSkek....

"Heart Of Snarkness"...

"Jurassic Snark"...

"Snarkotics Anonymous"...

Okay, I'm done now.

DaddyMassive · Post by **DaddyMassive** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:00 am

Anonymous in the sense you can't pat me on the head when you're being condescending :D

Sure there's the problem of the disfunctional yoyos that find entertainment in hacking and snooping but it's nothing a credit card re-issue and a HD reformat can't handle.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 10:05 am

I can't help it, I'm a snarking man!

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 11:45 am

DaddyMassive wrote:Anonymous in the sense you can't pat me on the head when you're being condescending :D

Sure there's the problem of the disfunctional yoyos that find entertainment in hacking and snooping but it's nothing a credit card re-issue and a HD reformat can't handle.

I am much more blunt in person, where intent is clearer.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:52 pm

i have snark-skinned cowboy boots.

made by Seigfried, of Barcelona.

he only uses real skin.

EvilDustBooger · Post by **EvilDustBooger** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:38 pm

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:41 pm

Does just a plain old fuck you count?

Snarkers Anonymous

how often is snark acceptable?

Snarkers Anonymous

I'm so cool with art idea you should do their mi way only.

How could you do that to those poor kids?

dj --- who me?

Re: dj --- who me?