Inconveniance Store. Help Wanted

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:18 pm

AntiM wrote:I could sit around, drink Pepsi, read porn, and ignore everyone.

Would that require some studying and acting talent, or is it something you do anyway?

willyloafofphora · Post by **willyloafofphora** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:54 pm

Attention Caffiends!! The Inconvenience Store has acquired a 105 cup percolator. I also have two big ziplock bags full of coffee that someone left in my box truck after last years burn. However this will not suffice for the entire week. Any coffee/ water donations would be greatly appreciated. You bring the supplies and you get to choose the inconvenience (as long as its reasonable and feasible). That goes for any donation and you don't necessarily have to be there. Our staff will inconvenience people for you. Its the lazy mans participation.

SecretOperativeBear · Post by **SecretOperativeBear** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:20 am

Have you tried any "super caffeinated" coffee yet.

I got some at like a shell station or 7-11 or something and GOD DAMN ! that stuff was perky.

BeAr

SecretOperativeBear · Post by **SecretOperativeBear** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:27 am

any idea where the store is gonna be yet? or is being hard to find part of the plan?

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:51 am

You have to call their unlisted 800 number and leave a message. No salesman will call!

MerkinMan · Post by **MerkinMan** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:24 am

How about no door? Or something really large and difficult to move in order to get in and out. Or require the removal of all clothing to enter, or if a customer tries to come in naked, tell him he/she has to be fully dressed, and when he/she comes back, make them undress again.

Also, always help the very last person to come in the store first.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:10 pm

No Shit, No Service!

MerkinMan · Post by **MerkinMan** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:19 pm

And if you are not already doing so or it hasn't been mentioned, please have everyone take a number...that of course never gets called.

SecretOperativeBear · Post by **SecretOperativeBear** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:00 pm

I love it when you go somewhere and need to take a number and the machine is either broken or out of number tags.

willyloafofphora · Post by **willyloafofphora** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:32 pm

The store will be some where around 3:00 we'll have signs in the 3:00 keyhole, at 3:00 and outer ring, and probably along the side of the road on the way in from the greeters station.

SecretOperativeBear · Post by **SecretOperativeBear** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:41 pm

How about a rotating door, like at the fancy hotels.

EXCEPT.....it doesn't let you in, only out the same way you entered.

JezebelinHell · Post by **JezebelinHell** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:55 pm

Can we make a "Shirt, Shoes, No Pants, No Service" sign? Stop the shirtcockers!

Angry[M]onkeySalad · Post by **Angry[M]onkeySalad** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:14 am

Maybe make people turn around when they talk to you (so there back is facing you)

Then halfway through whatever they are saying, you sneak off and someone else steps in.

And of course, makes them start all over. Kinda a physical version of calling anywhere for non-standard customer service or tech support.

Oh golly, what if you had a customer service department (window) that was even more inconvenient...

Like it was a mile away...

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:32 am

SecretOperativeBear wrote:I love it when you go somewhere and need to take a number and the machine is either broken or out of number tags.

haha...a funny thought....a ring of tickets coming out that all have the same number! 99!
then just keep repeating 1, calling #1, #1, oh no sorry miss, we HAVE to wait for #1.. # ONE????? One? Can I help number ONEEEEE?

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:45 am

JezebelinHell wrote:Can we make a "Shirt, Shoes, No Pants, No Service" sign? Stop the shirtcockers!

If you build it they will come.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

willyloafofphora · Post by **willyloafofphora** » Fri Aug 15, 2008 1:33 pm

Bear if you can bring a rotating door you will be The Man. Personally my trailers pretty full and I have no idea where to get one. Probably one sitting around a surplus store somewhere for real cheap though. Go Surplus!!!

I'm all about the "Shirt, Shoes, No Pants, No Service" sign.

hoochie mama · Post by **hoochie mama** » Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:34 am

Make the hypercaffeinated coffee for two or three days, and just when the regulars are used to it, switch to decaf. Repeat as necessary.

And now that nut allergies are everywhere... I've seen a convenience store here with a sign saying "Everything in this store may have come in contact with nuts". Makes you wonder just how slow the backshift really it.

Hooch.

SecretOperativeBear · Post by **SecretOperativeBear** » Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:33 pm

I'm afraid a door isn't possible. Unless I can find materials at BRC.

I'm just hoping to make it there with my bicycle.
I just might have enough gas money to make it there.
I'll need to rideshare after the burn to make it to the SF Bay area.
Then work a few days for a friend then drive back out to Orlando.

-Bear

willyloafofphora · Post by **willyloafofphora** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:50 am

So when you get to the playa and remember that _____ is sitting on your coffee table, remember the inconvenience store we, probably have that thing and if we don't we probably have something you want even more. This will be the store's final communication before playa time. The Inconvenience Store will be located in the 3:00 region. Look for signs in the 3:00 keyhole and at center camp. We will also be listed on the computer at center camp, playa info, and the Artery.
Hope to see you there,
Willy

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:26 pm

Put up a sign that reads:
FREE BEER TOMORROW

When they come back the next day (oh, they will), don't take it down.

MerkinMan · Post by **MerkinMan** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 5:34 pm

And make sure the bathroom key is attached to an anvil.

funkymonkey · Post by **funkymonkey** » Fri Aug 22, 2008 11:20 pm

Fabulous! I'll have to stop by and make a donation to help keep the wheels of inconvenience turning.

DeepSpace · Post by **DeepSpace** » Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:58 pm

Be constantly changing the cash register tape....

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:11 am

MerkinMan wrote:And make sure the bathroom key is attached to an anvil.

Free2B · Post by **Free2B** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:19 am

Forgot that address & never made it

so how much fun did you have with this?

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:25 am

pinemom wrote:haha...a funny thought....a ring of tickets coming out that all have the same number! 99!
then just keep repeating 1, calling #1, #1, oh no sorry miss, we HAVE to wait for #1.. # ONE????? One? Can I help number ONEEEEE?

I have used that gag at Gemini Party for city hall for several years now... It works well.

willyloafofphora · Post by **willyloafofphora** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:19 pm

We had such a ridiculous amount of fun that I can still just barely keep a straight face. The store was a huge success multiple people told me that it was the coolest theme camp they had ever been to on the playa. They were probably just trying to flatter me because they needed something but its still a pretty damn good compliment. Much thanks to everyone who participated especially micki who gave us much needed relief and totally went OCD on our display shelves and also the homie who rescued Grape Ape when he had been lost for days. The Inconvenience Store will be back in 09 but hopefully under new management.

Bounce530 · Post by **Bounce530** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:11 pm

Fuck your store and your two story pole thing!!! 3/4 drunk after leaving the martini bar and I gotta climb that thing and do 20 pushups on the top of there?! Horrible service, shitty products, and one hell of a great memory! I'll deff swing back through there next year.

great job guys, I loved it!

willyloafofphora · Post by **willyloafofphora** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:29 pm

Thank you, come again.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:20 pm

Another proof that I'm an idiot for missing this.

Inconveniance Store. Help Wanted

105 cup perky later

placement

take a number

rotating door

Re: take a number

coffee

no door from bear

We will have that thing that you forgot.

Re: take a number