PLAYA LIMERICKS! Post Em Here...

lurker · Post by **lurker** » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:04 am

A cute burner girl from La France
Went about proudly, sans pants
But it wasn't quite safe
As her lips grew quite chafed
But with Chapstick she happily danced

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:42 am

there once was a Gov. Palin
whose campaign was certainly failin'
so she started to schmear
and talked shit out her rear
and now most of her party is Bailin'

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:57 am

there once was a country: U.S.
who's finances were in a mess,
it's leaders were bold
and took all the gold

who got it? we'll just have to guess........

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:10 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:there once was a Gov. Palin
whose campaign was certainly failin'
so she started to schmear
and talked shit out her rear
and now most of her party is Bailin'

Awesome!!!

help · Post by **help** » Sat Oct 11, 2008 1:47 pm

Dust and tears fill my eyes as I write this:
My People and Black Rock, I sooo miss!
Where there is never a hurry,
Or stock market worry,
and One's biggest concern is a "clear piss!"

With assets dwindling away,
Retirements in full disarray,
I can't help but wonder
At Congress's blunder
Taxpayers for Gamblers will pay.

On the hook for 700 BILLION,
That's only 7000 thousand million,
A small part of the debt,
Which, as of yet,
Has only just reached to 10 TRILLION.

Regardless of who gets elected,
We are ALL going to be affected.
Government's not your friend,
That's the message I send-
And THAT message should not be neglected!

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:23 pm

Help knocked em dead again with his rhymes
His verbs inspire and enlighten in dark times
With those numbers I can't disagree
They make me so scared I must pee
But silver linings they still do abound
Like the cracked sacred ground
Of our temporary town
Where we still can dance and shout with glee

**burn** · Post by **burn** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:15 pm

In Reno it has been snowing
Scared drivers don't know where their going
Listen up for a tip, SUV's can still flip
Let's keep rush hour traffic aflowing

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:57 am

for those whose scene's to be seen
there's nothing quite like halloween
when freaks in the night
play lavish delight
and a King can come out as a Queen.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:47 am

There once was a lady named Sarah
when she looked in the Mirror, saw Farah
she went shopping at Sak's
buying tres chic-chic slacks
Cause she knows that the clothes make the Wearer.

sonic · Post by **sonic** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:04 am

On the playa I wish I were
Wearing lingerie and coats of fur
Instead I'm in my cube
Dreaming of fun with lube
And the smiles on playa incured

sonic · Post by **sonic** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 8:16 am

On the playa I smile and shine
Feeling the love all the time
The default world is boring
And my mind is snoring
Missing that dusty home of mine.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 12:05 pm

a girl who went on the campaign
sticking stickers for Mr. McCain
but she did'nt know
had she carved out an "O"
that she wouldnt be labeled insane.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat Oct 25, 2008 12:47 pm

there once was a man; politician,
I'd rather, he worked in a mission,
he'd talk in your ear,
and screw you from rear,
and drop you, while you are still wishin'..........

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Sun Oct 26, 2008 11:01 am

A guy named Larry who had a big hat.
Threw a party, that shook the world, and we all knew where it was at.
Years long he decreed from above
"this year's theme's rock n roll, drugs, and love"
People from far and wide planned and toiled and tried.
And sometimes the theme was really inspired.
But as he got old and tired, his ideas were less wired.
The American Dream? I'm not sure what you mean.
This year's theme was "fuck the theme" and I don't mean to be mean
But I think burners are taking over the fire.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Oct 27, 2008 5:53 am

I can't make a poem
and, I can't rhyme
I can't wait to go home,
who gives a shit, I almost did it........

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:33 pm

There once was a girl from Detroit
who tried to play a game of quoit
try as much as she may
she couldn't get the hang of it and play
so what did she do...shoit.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:25 pm

with Bank failures topping the news
causing christians to fill up their pews
there will soon be the day
from on high they will say
"it's not our fault so lets blame the Jews."

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 2:52 pm

http://cgis.jpost.com/cgi-bin/General/f ... me-record/

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:26 am

there once was a man named Barack
whom Republicans loved to Attack
so they picked John McCain
and some Cunt with no Brain
Now they're changing the White House to Black.

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:08 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:there once was a man named Barack
whom Republicans loved to Attack
so they picked John McCain
and some Cunt with no Brain
Now they're changing the White House to Black.

OMG that is so awesome!!! Nice, Simon!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:24 pm

I'm uncomfortable with the c-word. Would twat or bitch be any better? I don't know.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:21 am

i know, i hesitated myself, but it just seems to FLOW better....

(oh god, i'm burning in helco for that one)

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:25 am

theCryptofishist wrote:I'm uncomfortable with the c-word. Would twat or bitch be any better? I don't know.

Oh...um...right. Ok, Hey Simon, that would have been a wee bit better if it had said "byoch."

madmatt · Post by **madmatt** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 9:30 am

There was a black dude named Obama
Sadly his name rhymed with Osama
Myopic employers had hesitations
Reading his job applications
He had trouble making a dent and paying the rent
So instead he ran for president
And his wife - she's a hot mama

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Nov 09, 2008 11:07 am

a president elect named Obama
who if white, would be dalai lama
mix in some christ
with a little zeitgeist
But minus the religious Drama.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:34 am

A President, who had run Amuck
had heard people calling him "schmuck"
so he called on Dick Cheney
cause he was'nt too brainy
"it's not Lame Dick, you Fool! it's Lame Duck!"

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:08 am

Up to now I've stayed a good boy
treating my new wife like a toy
she stays faithful to me
'cos I hold the financial key
and she happens to be very coy.

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:16 am

There once was a new wife
who brought me a different life
promising to be good
she oughta and should
or I'll be back inside for life.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:42 pm

A man who watches his wife
And threatens to carve her with knife
If she should stray
Go her own way
Deserves twenty years up to life.

Birdman · Post by **Birdman** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:02 pm

Of what you say I shall over think
don't worry I'll avoid the drink
my new wife is quite safe
even though she was a waif
and I don't fancy, again, bars made of zinc.