What's the worst sexual thing you've ever done?

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 1:38 am

HughMungus wrote:
OregonRed wrote:Ok... Allow me to preface this by saying I was 21 and very angry when I did this.

When I found out that my (now ex)husband had cheated on me again(!), I decided that what was good for the gander was good for the goose, but I thought I'd try to one up him. I got all dolled up for a night out with "the girls" and went to the bar I knew one of his close friends was likely to be at. To my delight, the friend was there and I proceeded to ply him with drinks, flattery and flirtation. The poor guy didn't know what had hit him. Before the end of the evening I was in the backseat of his car getting fucked (bareback) very enthusiastically, while he asked over and over if I was sure my husband wouldn't find out. I assured him that I would never tell while I got him to come twice inside me.

After we were done, I hopped in my car and drove home. Once there I woke my husband up and demanded that he go down on me. He did and I had the satisfaction of knowing that my EXTREMELY homophobic husband was eating his friends cum out of me. I laughed all the way to divorce court with that one...

And this is the first tme I have ever told anyone about it.
Awesome. You never told him?

I told him... After I had filed for divorce and moved out... Never told him whose spunk it was he had eaten... Let him suffer. The guy was (and is) a total tool. Wife-beating, cheating piece of shit... Oops, I digress. Needless to say he was PISSED. Even better, the morning after he ate my "tainted" box he told me that I'd never tasted better. I reminded him of that when I told him...

I suppose that does make me evil...

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 9:01 am

not evil ... i'm just glad you got away from the turd ...

this whole story is like whip cream on a pile of shit!

HughMungus · Post by **HughMungus** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:12 am

OregonRed wrote:I told him... After I had filed for divorce and moved out... Never told him wose spunk it was he had eaten... Let him suffer. The guy was (and is) a total tool. Wife-beating, cheating piece of shit... Oops, I digress. Needless to say he was PISSED. Even better, the morning after he ate my "tainted" box he told me that I'd never tasted better. I reminded him of that when I told him... :twisted: I suppose that does make me evil...

That's not so evil. I was going to say "cunning". :)

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:19 am

HughMungus wrote:
OregonRed wrote:I told him... After I had filed for divorce and moved out... Never told him wose spunk it was he had eaten... Let him suffer. The guy was (and is) a total tool. Wife-beating, cheating piece of shit... Oops, I digress. Needless to say he was PISSED. Even better, the morning after he ate my "tainted" box he told me that I'd never tasted better. I reminded him of that when I told him... I suppose that does make me evil...
That's not so evil. I was going to say "cunning".

LMAO
Your Bad....

ALICEtheGOON · Post by **ALICEtheGOON** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 3:39 pm

One night I was sitting at this bar , when in walked my friends wife.

well she started feeding me drinks and then...

wait a second ...................

I better stop.

juuuuust kidding .

Barbie · Post by **Barbie** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:13 pm

Okayyyy okay after all those confessions- I guess I have to Play...

SSSooooooo I was dating this really rotten guy in Vegas who was forever cheating on me-
(We'll call him Mark 'cause thats what his name WAS LOL )He went away for the weekend to hang out with his son... Or soooooo Mark told me- I was living with him pretty much at this point. And his friend who lives down the street, happen to be having a party that weekend. So I stayed at my "boyfriend Mark's" soooo I could go to the party and drink....

Soooooo during the party one the people (a friend of a friend that don't know who I am) Start talking about Mark taking some co worker of theirs away to Cali for weekend.
Any way to make alllllllll kinds of excuses for myself...

The BOTTOM line is that I let a really HOTT couple pick me up and I took them down the street to Mark's House and FUCKED them in HIS BED !!! (even though it was a Big House and I could have picked another Bedroom at LEAST!!!)

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:23 pm

Barbie, ever thought of visiting Illinois?

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 4:26 pm

Joel, I know both you and Barbie and I think you two would be a match made in heaven. I swear.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 7:02 pm

I think if this thread was a competition, OregonRed would be declared the winner, that was truly horrible and yet somehow beautiful at the same time. Women ARE Evil!
Holy fucking shitballs Batman!

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:34 pm

lonestoner916 wrote:I think if this thread was a competition, OregonRed would be declared the winner, that was truly horrible and yet somehow beautiful at the same time.

Ummmm... Thanks?

Barbie · Post by **Barbie** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 10:15 pm

Ohhhh I forgot to tell you guys the BEST part of this story.....

sooooooo like 8 months or so after I've done this couple, I go out on Mark's friend that lives down the street, boat ( his name is Paul, by the way) Paul invites some friends... I end up going with my X boyfriend (this guy Torrey I almost married and dated for 4 years) The friends he invites happen to be this GUY from the couple I did and his REAL girlfriend not the Hottie he was with the night we HOOKED UP....

soooooo both him and I go to Paul at different times and ASK HIm If each other are who we think we ARE... (Paul later tellls me this) All the while ALLL Of US having to be cool around our dates.

joel the ornery · Post by **joel the ornery** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:12 am

lonestoner916 wrote:Women ARE Evil!

well, from what i read, the men in the stories weren't champions of morality.... and pretty much got what they deserved.

and thanks, Doc... you're welcome to join us in east central illinois.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 6:21 am

Oh Ore'RED!!!!

I knew there was reason I loved you at first site!!!!

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 10:29 pm

Bump!

I've finally started work on the novel, thanks to some inspiration from an old flame. You can check my blog for the first nine chapters of what is tentatively called Tales of a Drunken Degenerate. If you do read them, just do me a favor and PLEASE keep any feedback to yourself, positive or otherwise, it fucks up the creative flow when I discuss a work in progress! I'll be pillaging this thread for as many ideas as I can get so help me out guys!

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 10:46 am

Suddenly inspired to keep up with the Joneses.

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:03 pm

When I see the title of this thread, I always think "Done to? or Had done to me?"

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:10 pm

Works either way I guess. Care to share?

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:34 pm

lonestoner916 wrote:Works either way I guess. Care to share?

Not really. Those are ugly memories, and I probably have deep unresolved issues I wouldn't want to toss around here.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:54 pm

AntiM wrote:
lonestoner916 wrote:Works either way I guess. Care to share?

I probably have deep unresolved issues I wouldn't want to toss around here.

Don't we all...

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:43 pm

I served in the Navy in the 1980's. Our ship had pulled into Subic Bay Naval Station, in the Phillipine Islands, for repairs. Outside the naval base was the biggest red light district in the word, Olangapo. One day, my officer let me go on liberty call early, so I hit the streets, long before most of the other squids were turned loose.

I strolled by a pair of side-by-side massage parlors. The establishments were both upstairs, and their staircases were side by side, separated by a wall. The stairs were peopled with lovely young ladies looking for business, which was still slow. They were pretty excited to see me.

So after bantering with them a bit, teams of hookers on opposite sides of the wall were trying to drag me up their staircase, while my nose was plastered against that wall in the middle. My poor psyche is still scarred from that incident. But I am no longer infected!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:42 pm

Yeah, this thread's title and huge ambiguities of sexual harm and learning from experience that lurk underneath the surface, not to mention the possible sex negative lessons to be drawn from it--I don't like the title of this thread either. And that makes me suspicious of the content.

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 6:30 pm

What's the worst sexual thing you've ever done?

I fantasized that I was Sean Hannity from FOX News and that my sex partner was his little sister.

Kinetik V · Post by **Kinetik V** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:21 pm

Isotopia wrote:
What's the worst sexual thing you've ever done?
I fantasized that I was Sean Hannity from FOX News and that my sex partner was his little sister.

Wrongness Factor 12.0. / Mindfuck Factor: 12.0

Beyond that there's nothing left to say besides DAMN! That's BAD!

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:38 pm

Crypto, I'd have to agree with you, it's a bad thread full of bad things, but believe it or not it's for a good purpose, aside from the amusement factor. At least it will be if all goes well. There's lessons to be learned from all this debauchery I just have to figure out to show them without being preachy...

Iso, well uh, wow. Yeah. That's wrong on so many levels I'm literally speechless. Smiling, but speechless.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:32 pm

Find your happy place and know, that most of us are smart enough not to confess to anything illegal or which would send us to hell's seventh pit. The rest is mostly probably made up for amusement... it is, isn't it?

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:27 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:Find your happy place and know, that most of us are smart enough not to confess to anything illegal or which would send us to hell's seventh pit. The rest is mostly probably made up for amusement... it is, isn't it?

Yes, for the most part. Like any writer of fiction, a little bit of me will inevitably seep into whatever story I'm working on, perhaps more than a little in this particular case, given the subject matter.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 7:32 pm

How is worst defined?

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:58 am

Oregon Red, That is fucking awesome go you, total win.

Glad I've never cheated....and hope no crazy women think i did...

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 9:53 am

That's the best of both worlds. All of the guilt, but none of the VD.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:43 am

BTW lonestoner, have you read Choke?

good book based around a sex addict