Burning Man felt Me Up! i feel VIOLATED!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:39 am

i was passed out in the corner at comfort and joy when i felt this wooden hand reach around and started to tweak my nipples and caress my waist.

it was TOTALLY uninvited, and not only that, while he was attempting a reach around (i was finally gaining consciouness at the time) he STOLE 60$ from me...

I AM LIVID!

that 60$ was meant for ME and MY NEEDS......not the man's...

WTF? I feel like i've been raped, Physically, Mentally, and Financially.

and i've already taken like, 5 showers and i still feel dirty.

i want my money back, you bastard.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:45 am

ok....so i just got off the phone wit larry, and you know what that cock-sucker tells me?

he says "You deserve it", and to "shut my faggot mouth"

i tell him, "But Larry, i'm not even gay"

he says "if you come to Burning Man, then you MUST BE, you little turd, now bend over, and let me get my sixty bucks worth out of your ass"

i cant believe it...i've been gifting for 12 years now, and i have a frequent burner card...

i demand satisfaction, or the BMorg will hear from my lawyers, Dewey, Phukim, and Howe, shortly.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:53 am

What you think sex is FREE!

Post by **Elderberry** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:05 am

JK

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:16 am

Classic.

Post by **Sham** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:27 am

At least you didn't lose your $60 during the ticket fiasco. Did you get any splinters while he was attempting to give you a hand job?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:33 am

no, i managed to get away, but i did notice beneath his neon thong, he was sportin' some serious wood.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:33 am

Caressed not molested.

Barbie · Post by **Barbie** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:27 am

ANd you really SHould change your name & not DRESS like that, your just asking for IT!!

klondike_bar · Post by **klondike_bar** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 1:23 pm

well, you should shut up or ill dump sewage nto your drinking water. dont ask me how im gonna manage that feat, but im gonna do it. even though BM is stupid and im not gonna go

ps: could you donate to a charity for me?

:p

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:03 pm

first of all, Mr K. Bar, you have insulted my mother, and now you must die.

are you talkin' to me...huh? are YOU??!!

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 6:16 pm

Shut the fuck up, Simon of the Playa, you're a crybaby fucking whiner.
One two-by-four up your ass and you're screaming bloody murder. What a loser.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:56 pm

OMFG......

Post by **Sham** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:41 am

This is not the first time that the Man has stolen $60 from someone. There is also an uncomfortable pattern of sexual molestation by him. Every year there are countless, unwitting attendees who lose their virginity to him. The police just don't care. They are more interested in finding someone with an illegal substance than catching a sexual predator and thief. The Man must be stopped and I suggest we all get together and burn this bastard to the ground on the Saturday before Labor Day this year. If we can pull this off, I for one will dance and celebrate his demise.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:56 am

EAT the $60, cram sewage up your ASS, CARESS my mother, don't DRESS like THAT, see you at the BURN!!!!!

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 5:56 am

Last years $60.00 rip off was better...

klondike_bar · Post by **klondike_bar** » Fri Jan 23, 2009 2:30 pm

ooh, im gonna come to where you live and beat you up simon! how dare you make a mockery of 60$! you know how much bacon that could buy?

yeah, like a FULL FRIGGIN DAY'S WORTH! stop bullshitting around acting like 60$ is nothing. for that much, i could take your mother out to mcdonalds, room with her overnight, and still have 50$ to pay for medication to cure my resulting STD(s)!

may god poop on your soul, then kick sand on you so it becomes a gross mess.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:59 am

dude, if you can actually get it up when you see my mom, she's all yours.

i am more concerned with my 60 fucking dollars, and how many more two by fours i can fit up my ass.

Captain Goddammit is right, whining never gets you anywhere, unless you're a Jewish American Princess and you wanna go to Miami.

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Sun Jan 25, 2009 9:17 am

ibdave wrote:Last years $60.00 rip off was better...

Yes, but next years 60$ rip-off will be even better. That will be the charge to enter the Blue Palace. But wait! For a limited time, only available through this TV offer, that 60$ will bring you an unlimited pass to the Blue Palace's, AND, we'll throw in a set of Oxy-Ginsu-Clean Clap-On's, sure to be a delight amongst your playa brethren.

fciron · Post by **fciron** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:08 am

I think you guys broke my brain.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 12:51 pm

THIRD BASE!

Tinkerbell · Post by **Tinkerbell** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:24 pm

I hear a lot of complaints of being ripped off this year. I am happy to say I haven't had any problems every year I have gone. Last year in fact, I got a ticket for $200 within 18 hours of door opening. WHAT LUCK!!! But I haven't bought a ticket this year. I still am unsure if i am going. But I hope lady luck will still be on my side.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Jan 26, 2009 9:27 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:THIRD BASE!

I don't know.......

Who's on first?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:13 am

EXACTLY!

cowboyangel · Post by **cowboyangel** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:16 pm

What's on second?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:36 pm

cowboyangel wrote:What's on second?

back to Simons post.........

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:41 pm

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