Favorite Bumper Stickers

[accordionMan]

Don't you love reading bumper stickers?

Sometimes they make me laugh.
Sometimes they make me scream.
Sometimes they make me think.

Sometimes I think.. hey I could be friends with that person... sometimes it's the opposite reaction.

Here are some of my favorites:

I play the accordion... and I vote!

My son beat up your honor student.

A bad analogy is like a leaky screwdriver.

He who laughs last... thinks slowest.

The early bird catches the worm
but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Do you have any favorites?

[littleflower]

think about honking if you like conceptual art

[ygmir]

visualize whirreld peas

[SilverOrange]

If you're going to be up my ass...at least pull my hair

[oneeyeddick]

You say Tomatoe
I say "Fuck You"

[Thecatman]

My cats are cuter than your grandkids!

[klondike_bar]

"I brake for fun"

oldie, but always a classic.

[gaminwench]

burner

[AntiM]

It was jaded when I got here.

Where are we going and why am I in this basket?

Freedom of religion means any religion.

Real Men Wear Skirts (had it, lost it when the Boo got her bumper repainted)

My Karma ran over your Dogma.

[Simon of the Playa]

"unfuckwithable"

"satan works for ME, now"

"this paradigm sucks"

"my other haircut is a Mohawk"

"I'm touching it, right now"

[RingO'Fire]

"Are You Good for the Environment?"

Possibly the stupidest bumper sticker ever. Well, duh, NO!, dipshit. None of us are "good" for the environment. Maybe we should all just go kill ourselves, to help the environment n' all. Oh, and I work for an environmental consulting firm, cleaning up hazardous waste sites and HAZMAT spills for a living. Goddamn hippy dippy treehuggers... [mumble grumble].

[Captain Goddammit]

"Jesus Loves You
Everyone Else Thinks You're An Asshole"

[gyre]

GOT FIRE?



Gift from the playa
My Inner Child Graduated With Honors From Black Rock City High School

[accordionMan]

My Karma ran over your Dogma.

I forgot about that one... got a good laugh when I first saw it!

[swampdog]

God was my copilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

[mojo]

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

[Captain Goddammit]

"Nixon 2000! He's Not As Stiff As Gore"

[littleflower]

money has germs. spend it!

[scotto]

'Support Air Rescue...Get Lost'

[Gearrob]

Militant Agnostic:
I don't know and neither do you!

[AntiM]

I have animal magnetism, squirrels stick to me.

[RingO'Fire]

Save Water - Shower with a Friend

[Simon of the Playa]

"Fuck you Dorothy, and your little schnoodle/shitzu too!"

[accordionMan]

These aren't bumper stickers, but they are in the spirit of bumper stickers that I love so much... very clever:

1) The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,'
and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

2) A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

3) 'He had delusions of adequacy.'
- Walter Kerr

4) 'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.'
- Winston Churchill

5) 'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.'
- Winston Churchill

6) 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'
- Clarence Darrow

7) 'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.'
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

8) 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words ?'
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

9) 'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.'
- Moses Hadas

10) 'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'
- Abraham Lincoln

11) 'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'
- Mark Twain

12) 'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.'
- Oscar Wilde

13) 'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one.'
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

14) 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.'
- Winston Churchill, in response.

15) 'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.'
- Stephen Bishop

16) 'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'
- John Bright

17) 'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'
- Irvin S. Cobb

18) 'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'
- Samuel Johnson

19) 'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'
- Paul Keating

20) 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'
Jack E. Leonard

21) 'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'
- Robert Redford

22) 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'
- Thomas Brackett Reed

23) 'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

24) 'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' -
Forrest Tucker

25) 'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'
- Mark Twain

26) 'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'
- Mae West

27) 'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'
-Oscar Wilde

28) 'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination.'
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

29) 'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'
- Billy Wilder

30) 'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.'
- Groucho Marx

[ygmir]

good ones........*chuckling*.......

[Sail Man]

I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting.

Which segue's nicely into a bumper sticker appropriate for MDMF007:

Don't tailgate me or I'll flick a booger on your windshield!

[hoochie mama]

save gas, fart in a jar.

[LostinReno]

40 isn't old.....if you're a tree.

I didn't find it funny at the time. I actually saw this one on the wall at the bar in Gerlach about 3 weeks before the big forty. Now I find the humor in it

[Thecatman]

"Caution. Driver singing." Saw that on my way to work this morning

[can't sit still]

Keep honking, I'm reloading

Hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt

You can fool all of the people some of the time but,,, you can't fool mom

The American justice system,,, catch and release

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person

On the 8th day, God created the Doors

Whada you mean junk,, I paid 50 quid for this

Fathers Against Radical Teenagers

If you won't smoke, I won't fart

My other car is a piece of shit too

Desert racers eat more bush

6 out of the 7 voices in my head do not like you

You looked a lot cuter on Myspace