Should I?

Nemo Intermundorum · Post by **Nemo Intermundorum** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 4:13 pm

Hi all.

I've recently found out about Burning Man, and some friends and I have become quite interested in the event. I've scoured the official website and its various guides, and I've taken a look about forums such as these for more personal experiences. However, I still have the burning question (NPI) of whether I am right for such an event. I'm going to give a (hopefully) brief summary of myself, pointing out potential concerns, and leave the floor to any passing experienced Burners helpful enough to give their opinion of whether I would fit in and enjoy the event.

There are some things about Burning Man that really click with me - self-reliance, self-expression through the arts, anti-commercialism, leaving no trace, meeting and interacting with people, accepting others regardless of differences, and being unashamed of your body. Other things have been mentioned which are not for me, though I don't impose the restrictions on anyone else - drug use, casual sex with strangers, and trying to be different from your usual self.

Now, a little about me, if I may be so vain: I am a 21 year old male. I am in good physical shape and health, unless you count allergies. Belief-wise, I am agnostic nature-worshiper and like learning and experiencing new things. Indeed, I am very open-minded in that I firmly follow the philosophy that everyone should be free to do what they want as long as it does not physically harm or restrict others or the general environment that we share. However, I also have a unique, personal, and self-enforced code of ethics that I follow, though I do not expect others to.

I am single and a virgin (yes, a 21 male virgin, jump in the helicopter and we'll catch some pigs, I know), though by my own choice rather than any personal flaws (unless you count that choice). It's not that I am abstaining until marriage or anything like that, but I do feel a need to find somebody I am genuinely attracted to rather than simply have a passing infatuation or lust for (which has, obviously, proven heretofore unsuccessful). Maybe the whole idea is rather dumb, but I'm rather set on it nevertheless. The reason I go into this is to point out that unlike most single guys, and especially virgins, I will not be cruising the Playa looking for sex, nor will I be accepting every come on.

I enjoy being naked at home, though I am not a nudist, per se, as I have never had an occasion for the whole 'social' aspect of it. That being the case, however, I would probably use the BM event's acceptance of such practice to try it out. I mention this because I'm not quite sure how my body will react to both my own or others' nudity, especially with my hormones already severely hating me for reasons discussed in the previous paragraph. I've looked around and have yet to find an etiquette on unintentional erections.

Finally, while I would love to participate and express myself, I'm painfully aware that my personal oddities are less flamboyant than those of certain others, so unless I intentionally act out, any self expression is going to be more subdued than many of those that I have read about. Another thing is that while I like interacting with people, I'm better at the response than the approach.

So, given the above information about me - what do you think? Is there a niche in Burning Man for me, or am I too uptight for such a thing?

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:03 pm

Nemo Intermundorum wrote:Hi all.
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So, given the above information about me - what do you think? Is there a niche in Burning Man for me, or am I too uptight for such a thing?

Nemo, Buy your FUCKING TICKET and come join us for the ride of your lifetime..... Been going since 1998.... We need your newbi blood to remind us of our 1st time on the Playa....

Buy your FUCKING TICKET..... NOW!!!

Post by **Elderberry** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:05 pm

Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

You're the only one that can answer that question. I will only say that you might find out a lot about who you really are if you can just relax and go with the flow.

JK

Oldguy · Post by **Oldguy** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:16 pm

Welcome to eplaya!

Take a big towel. Some neighbors might not want your bare ass on their furniture. If you are concerned about an erection just wrap the towel around yourself. That is standard hygiene in a nudist resort. There are plenty of naturists there, plenty of erections too.

Be prepared for clothed gawkers and opinionated yahoos. If you want to do it, go for it.

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:29 pm

You have nothing to worry about. It's not the big sex-orgy you may have been given the impression it is... although I've accidentally been involved in a few incidents I have no official recollection of...
Nothing is expected of anyone except to be cool and not leave trash.
You sound like a fine burner, get your ticket and come find out all about the coolest thing that ever happens.

Elliot · Post by **Elliot** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:50 pm

Nemo, before I even finished reading your post, and long before I saw Ibdave's post, I said to myself :We ought to just tell this guy to buy a ticket!

And then I got down to Ibdave's post. Seems he beat me to it.

As for unintended erections, it can happen, but in my experience it does not necessarily happen just because I am not wearing clothes. I've also had it happen, absolutely uncontrollably, while wearing clothes. (Which happens to all of us occasionally, but I mean on the Playa.) I think the nekkidity of Burning Man is overblown in the mainstream media and in the rumor mill. At Burning Man, it is acceptable to be naked in public, but not common. Do not think of BM as a naked event but as a Costume Event. Plan costumes, rather than contemplate nudididity. The one thing I have done "wrong" in the past, is run out of costumes and have to wear regular clothes to avoid stinking too awfully.

You might think of it this way: BM is a costume party, and if your costume happens to not cover your privates, so what. As an illustration, let's say you dress up as a tree, with most of the branches at the top, and from the lowest branches down you are wearing body paint to look like the trunk of the tree. To my mind, any sort of pants would spoil the effect. At BM, You don't need to spoil that all-natural effect.

An other example, and this is from personal experience. In 2007 we had a rain shower that provided just enough water to make a very slippery surface on a large tarp that was used as a dance floor. So we held a belly sliding contest. And OF COURSE we did it naked. It would have made no sense at all to wear anything during that activity. And at BM, that's A-OK.

bx1 · Post by **bx1** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:19 pm

Oldguy wrote:Welcome to eplaya!

Take a big towel.

Sage advice, you should never go on an adventure without your towel.

phil · Post by **phil** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:24 pm

> drug use, casual sex with strangers, and trying to be different
> from your usual self.

Nobody forces anything on you. Be yourself.

> I also have a unique, personal, and self-enforced code of ethics
> that I follow, though I do not expect others to.

The playa is full of unique, personal, self-enforced loonies. You'll be right at home.

Got your ticket yet?

Post by **mdmf007** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:20 pm

Nobody is clean? Inter mundorum?

Anyways - BM is not a sex fest and your virgin status has nothing to do with sporting a boner. When in my natural state I wear 3 tattoos, and a small pack with the essentials. Put anything on your wiener you want, and bring a towel or shorts to sport for others comfort. You have the right to be as nude as you want at BM, but for hygiene and as a courtesy its nice to cover your rear and sack when sitting on peoples chairs and camps - a necessity when riding a green bike as well.. I simply throw on some shorts as needed and go about my day.

DOnt think you are going completely naked all over BRC. You will need at a minimum water, and a way to carry it, so why not throw in some shorts, or undies, sarong, etc.

later

Nemo Intermundorum · Post by **Nemo Intermundorum** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:36 pm

Intermundorum = Between the Worlds

Thanks for the tips, everyone. I realize BM is neither a sex fest nor a nudist colony, but I just inferred from some other posts on these forums that the two things were more openly acceptable and likely to be accidentally encountered there, so I mentioned any possible personal issues with each.

If I do go, I won't be able to resist costuming up in some way, but I would probably take some time to try the nude thing as well, if only to just have a mudfight or something.

Your replies made me feel a lot better about the whole thing, so thank you all again. Now to go ponder.

mars · Post by **mars** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:51 pm

Bloat: Nemo, newcomer of orange and white, you have been called forth to the summit of Mt. Wannahockaloogie to join with us in the fraternal bonds of tankhood!
Nemo: Huh?
Peach: We want you in our club, kid.
Nemo: Really?
Bloat: If you are able to swim through... the Ring of Fire!

DrPeffer · Post by **DrPeffer** » Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:52 pm

You sound like a great burner to me. In fact, just the kind of burner we could use more of, I think: People who 'get' the concept of being fiercely-independent while also being an active and helpful part of their larger community, but who don't necessarily feel the need to be freaky ALL the time.

Go naked...Nobody will notice you as a standout. Go clothed (in anything other than logo-wear)...Nobody will notice you as a standout. Don't do any drugs if you don't want to...Only a vanishingly-few douchebags will give you shit for it. The overwhelming majority of people won't make you feel out of place about it at all. Don't have any sexual encounters with anyone if you don't want. If you're particularly hot (or if you're unlucky-enough to encounter lots of horny people everywhere you go), you might have to fend off some advances. But wouldn't you be doing that at home, too? True, people often act more freely on the Playa than they do off it. But that's not necessarily because Burning Man is a sex-fest or something. It's because it's a transient event (well...sorta...hehe), you can have some fun and not have to concern yourself with all the various 'what-if's' (besides basic safety regarding STD's, of course) and a lot of people are really taken by this rush of freedom.

You should come. Trust me that, while you'll meet a lot of people who will probably make you shake your head, you'll probably meet many MORE people who will surprise you, and make you rethink a lot about yourself and others, in a good way.

Â¡Niers! · Post by **Â¡Niers!** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 11:27 am

Hehe, if a man was standing in front of me with an erection, I'd consider that a compliment.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:21 pm

Nemo (like the name!) shut up and jump!

You'll make a fine barbarian.

Playa Tom · Post by **Playa Tom** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:10 pm

Just relax, buy a ticket, pack your stuff and get out to the Black Rock.
Don't forget your sunscreen.

Daddy-O · Post by **Daddy-O** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:26 am

Awww to be young and to have to worry about erections. I remember those days before the need for Viagra. How nice it was. Buy your ticket Nemo and read all that you can. You will have the time of your life.

Post by **AntiM** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:30 am

Have you bought your ticket yet?

Nemo Intermundorum · Post by **Nemo Intermundorum** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:08 am

No, AntiM, not yet. I'm actually applying for a job amidst the horrific echoing temporal halls of daily life :? , and the acceptance and starting date of that will determine whether I will be able to go. If I do buy a ticket, it will probably be closer to May.

Post by **Elderberry** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:00 pm

JK

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:29 pm

you're in if you say you're in. Say hello to folks and don't worry.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:09 pm

Never take advise from strangers on the internet.

Nemo Intermundorum · Post by **Nemo Intermundorum** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:00 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Never take advise from strangers on the internet.

So, you don't want me to go?

Post by **Sham** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:12 pm

Nemo Intermundorum wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:Never take advise from strangers on the internet.
So, you don't want me to go?

Don't believe her. Take her advice. Buy your ticket!

AKAparttime · Post by **AKAparttime** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 7:14 pm

If you have to ask............. in life nothing will be for you. just do it..

oleg8888 · Post by **oleg8888** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:47 am

Erection?
Is that a sleng of some sort?

Is that a reaction to stimulus package?

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:36 pm

oleg8888 wrote:Erection?
Is that a sleng of some sort?
Is that a reaction to stimulus package?

Nah, it's just a place for him to hang his towel

Janka · Post by **Janka** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 7:20 am

Get a ticket. Basically at the playa no one (except maybe the undercover cops) gives a damn if you want to have sex or drugs or no, and no one gives a damn if you are flamboyant or no. If you do/are, fine, if you don't/aren't, fine.

The great thing about the place is not that it is all flamboyant self-expression hype and sex and drugs and all fancy stuff -- but that there is room for everyone to be themselves. I have spoken on the playa to both no-sex-until-marriage fanatics and people who want to kiss and grope every passer-by, both to leftist anarchists and rightwing fanatics, both to atheists and devoted believers in various religions. It is more varied than the publicity lets you think -- but the moron concentration is remarkably low. That is awesome.

(EDITed to add: yeah, uh, de-lurk. At the off-chance that like past years any friends are reading and see this as the first warning of the crazy Finns approaching, yes, me&Petri&friends are coming again this year, and would like to get together and all that jazz. Some local help with overnights on arrival and departure will likely be appreciated, will post as plans finalize.)

munney · Post by **munney** » Sat Apr 18, 2009 6:24 pm

It's no fun at all

It's Hot as Hell

People are really creepy and lame

You'll be hungry and thristy and Dry

You'll sweat and stink and be dirty, and the dust will dry on you and then you'll be a dirty stinky Hippie and have no way to clean yourself

You won't be able to sleep as some asshole will be playing really bad thumpy music right next to your camp with a 5,000 watt stereo

Everyone gets lost and separated from their friends

Just when you have had enough and you finally got to close your eyes after being awake for way too long,

the Sun will rise and bake you in your tent

You will become de-hydrated and your body will cramp up like a ginormous full bodied Charlie Horse

You will dream of the good life awaiting you outside the Trash Fence back in Reno

On the way there and back, your car Will break down, and you'll have to unpack everything to fix your car

When you arrive at the front gate, you have to pay a toll with a gold sacajuewa dollar that you wont be able to locate, then the giant gorillas at the Searching department will have you step out of your cramped car to unload everything to search you for drugs, Guns and profanity

If they find any Profanity then you'll be turned away and have to go home, past the paradise of Reno

You wont find your credit card so you cant stay in Reno and you'll be forced to sleep at a rest stop, and just when you cry yourself to sleep, a trucker will awaken you with her truck horn, as you mistakenly parked in the truck section

You'll go home and everyone will ask you how Burningman was, as they secretly mock you behind your back, and you'll feel shamed and have to lie and tell them that you liked it, and pretend to smile

All the while, you'll be thinking back to this post and the stern warning Not to go to Burningman

Nemo Intermundorum · Post by **Nemo Intermundorum** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:36 pm

Jesus! Munney, if you are speaking from experience, you poor bastard, that must have been one hell of a trip.

Otherwise, thanks for the warning.

Post by **AntiM** » Tue Apr 28, 2009 4:49 pm

I thought he was describing a good year.

Should I?

Should I?

Re: Should I?