Board Manners and Courtesy

KellY · Post by **KellY** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:35 pm

Anyone who read the Kurt Cobain thread might have noticed a little dust-up between myself and Dangermouse. To sum up, I posted a bit of a eulogy for someone who I was sorry was no longer with us. DMouse responded by saying that he was glad Cobain was dead and a few other derogatory remarks, and it went downhill from there.

I maintain that too many people use the anonyminity of the internet to act in ways that they never would in face-to-face discussion, either out of manners or at least not wanting to get the crap beaten out of them. It especially seems that some people think that it's okay insert their opinion regardless of how appropriate it might be to do so in a real life setting. Dmouse seems to be a decent enough sort that I doubt he would walk up to people who were mourning someone in a public shared space like a bar or party and say "Well, I'm glad he's dead." It's hard to imagine anything more rude. But for some reason he thought it was okay on the board here.

Yes, these are discussion boards. But in my opinion that does not necessarily translate into license to pipe up and assert your point of view everytime you disagree with someone. Take techno music, as a random example. There's all sorts of threads talking about it pro and con all over the board. But if someone posts that they're coming to Burning Man and they're really excited about the theme camp they're creating and they're going to have this great rave dj spinning all the time - that's not the place to announce how much you hate techno. That's just being a jerk. If I had posted "Nirvana is the best band ever" (and I didn't say anything remotely like that in my little memorial), that's obviously inviting debate. Get the difference?

Now this topic, on the other hand, is completely open for discussion.

III · Post by **III** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:39 pm

>>that's not the place to announce how much you hate techno

it is if it keeps them from showing up with their rave camp...

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 3:48 pm

What is the definition of drama?

Oops. My mistake again. I thought this was the drama thread.

Never mind. :lol:

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:25 pm

An expectation of "board manners and courtesy" is fine and dandy, but an expectation of topics likely to come up on the Discussion Board in question among random discussion participants, that are more-or-less well-known to push certain people's buttons, and a like expectation of some amount of responsibility for encouraging whatever level of decorum in a self-initiated thread, is pretty much at the learner's permit level of BBS licensure, IMO.

Life's highway has its rabbits, lizards, antelope, coyotes, and more rabbits, right along with its drywall screws, mattresses, RVs, empty water jugs, discarded steering wheels, and other de facto metaphors. Don't let them get up yer pants and drive yer nuts.

Dork · Post by **Dork** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 6:51 pm

I think you're mixing two issues. One is disagreement and the other is sensitivity.

In my opinion, it's perfectly appropriate to disagree. We all have opinions and there would be very few posts here if none of us shared them. We are not going to all have the same opinion on all issues. We should not feel afraid to express our feelings

Sensitivity is something else. I agree it's insensitive to say you're glad someone killed themselves because you didn't care for their music. It's also insensitive to make things personal. I can disagree with someone's recommendation of XYZ brand duct tape, but I can't call him an idiot for recommending it.

Asking yourself "Would I say this if I were talking face to face?" is a good test before posting something. In my case, I would feel free to express my opinions on techno, RVs, etc in person and I will continue to do it online.

DangerMouse · Post by **DangerMouse** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:04 pm

Once again I am a topic of discussion...

Kelly, if you honestly have issue with me I'd appreciate if you take it up privately with me. While what I posted was been insensitive, I was not the one who launched into a personal attack. I appologize for being an insensitive ass, however that's just who I am both online and off.

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 8:49 pm

This is turning into one big soap oprea.

Are we supposed to cry now as you 2 kiss and make up or something?

These sensitive things happen in artists circles. that should be understandable enough. But to start another thread on the topic?

The cobain thread I thought was doing pretty well. running away from it because you dont like what one or another says on it is really bad form IMHO.

So what BRR made a statement that you did'nt like. refer to cites to counter his statement.
DangerMouse has been all over the board to make Kelly feel better and that's supposed to do what in the long run?

I'm at a loss. But since you already created this thread you may as well make some good out of it.

just my $00.02 (I'm sure many dont think much of it anyway but hey....)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:11 pm

DangerMouse wrote:... if you honestly have issue with me I'd appreciate if you take it up privately with me.

IMO, this is another of the weird things about the Internet.

KellY wrote:I maintain that too many people use the anonyminity of the internet to act in ways that they never would in face-to-face discussion, either out of manners or at least not wanting to get the crap beaten out of them.

The divergence between what is acceptable in a private message verses a public post is itself an issue of contention. I don't claim to have it figured out myself. And *certainly* do not think that anyone could use my posts as some sort of a guidepost to manners and courtesy. Not by a long-fucking-shot.

But I will say that posting a public message that an issue should be taken private, is in my opinion ignoring the fact that that very post could have been private.

I'd like to speculate that in addition to KellY's excellent point there are a couple others I can think of ....

1.) one of the things about the Internet that is different than in real life, is that shunning in real life gets noticed. Shunning on the Internet is all hypothetical. I actually saw a post on another board where people rated with a point system each other's answers, and one post was about a perceived lack of recognition about a post's high value.

2.) Some times people are unable to express themselves or certain feelings or certain thoughts face to face in a personal conversational dialog, and whatever-the-hell-you-want-to-make-of-that, its real.

That's why there are anonymous confession sites, that's why people write, that's why people gather in front of their computers.

And I would like to suggest, that's why Kurt Cobain sang his best stuff loud, raw, at a microphone, in front of crowds.

Last Real Burner · Post by **Last Real Burner** » Thu Apr 08, 2004 10:35 pm

DangerMouse · Post by **DangerMouse** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 6:41 am

abeerinthemorning wrote:IMO, this is another of the weird things about the Internet.

But I will say that posting a public message that an issue should be taken private, is in my opinion ignoring the fact that that very post could have been private.

I'd like to speculate that in addition to KellY's excellent point there are a couple others I can think of ....

While that very thing may seem contradictory, it also lets other people know that I'd prefer such things be handled in a private manner.

3.) Some times people try to inflect emotion into postings where they feel it fits, that may not accurately represent the poster's actual intent.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 12:19 pm

Se state andando introdurre l'emozione in un invio è meglio fatto in italiano. Per esempio, ad esempio Joe Bob è un asino dei cavalli, realmente suona emozionalmente soddisfacente in italiano. I modi sono un'invenzione europea del nord e soltanto ottengono nel senso di ottenere sul bus, mangiante la pasta, ad esempio che cosa ritenete è diffusione molto più larga che l'asta quadra di collegamento forse capisce.

phoenix13 · Post by **phoenix13** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 1:23 pm

DVD Burner wrote:What is the definition of drama?

Oops. My mistake again. I thought this was the drama thread.

Never mind. :lol:

oh, wait, i thought this was the room for abuse.

:wink

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 1:47 pm

phoenix13 is one lovely talented writer with wonderful manners.

Was that within thread theme? :wink:

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 2:16 pm

CHARACTER

Your character must be above suspicion, and you must be truthful and self-controlled.

The truest test of civilization, culture, and dignity is character, not clothing.

A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.

Men of stainless character will easily inspire confidence and automatically purify the atmosphere around them.

The real property that a parent can transmit to all equally is his or her character and educational facilities.

All your scholarship would be in vain if at the same time you do not build your character and attain mastery over your thoughts and your actions.

M.K. Gandhi

phoenix13 · Post by **phoenix13** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 2:19 pm

well, it was in the form of humour... i hope.

seriously, there is a kind of etiquette that does come with anonymity. I have had a post of mine changed from an open art forum (or whatever), to an out and out political discussion. now, granted, it did meet with the word of what it was called.

but you have to realize that people aren't going always going to agree. that's the nature of people.

personal attacks on the other hand should not be acceptable. just because someone has a differing opinion does not mean that they deserve persecution for it.

i see an irony that this is public because it does and doesn't need to be public. i think the idea is not to mention just one person, to address everyone as a whole... especially those that have gotten overly personal about the attacks.

but of course this is only my two shiny copper pieces.

DangerMouse · Post by **DangerMouse** » Fri Apr 09, 2004 2:31 pm

You mean this isn't thread to discuss proper pizza toppings?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Apr 10, 2004 8:20 am

Joel, scrivete mai qualche cosa o semplicemente taglio e colla?

Tancorix · Post by **Tancorix** » Sat Apr 10, 2004 9:39 pm

BRR: Are you trying to impress someone with your command of Italian? This is a board dedicated to discussions of an event in Nevada, right here in the USA, where English for the moment is still the dominant language. We are not in Rome or Milan. How about going back to English if you want to communicate with the majority of us?

juanicoheal · Post by **juanicoheal** » Sat Apr 10, 2004 10:20 pm

For those who can't read italian (which I can't either, but I know where to get fast free translation)

as translated into a language we can understand, BRR wrote:If you are going to introduce the emotion in a consignment is better fact in Italian. For example, for example Joe Bob is an ass of the horses, really plays emotionally satisfactory in Italian. The manners are an European invention of the north and only obtain in the sense of to obtain on the bus, eating the pasta, for example what retain is spread a lot more wide than the auction makes square of connection perhaps understands.

and

BRR wrote:Joel, write ever some thing or simply cut and neck?

Alcune persone non possono evitare l'essere il quarto posteriore di un asino.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 8:51 am

Tanc, O ye, of little humor and imagination.

Juanico, I think your free translator needs some work,, cut and neck?

Tancorix · Post by **Tancorix** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:42 am

BRR: Thanks for stereotyping me based solely on my internet posting. I really enjoy being told I have no imagination or creativity, which if you actually knew me would be the very last thing to come out of your mouth.

In any event slinging mud does nothing to change the fact that the majority of this board's conversation is held in English. If you insist on using Italian, you'll be ignored even more so than you are right now.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 12:13 pm

Some one cares?

Tancorix · Post by **Tancorix** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 12:20 pm

I don't know how to take that last comment, so I'll take the high road. Some of us may not agree with what you say, but I for one read it and try to learn from it. So that's why I wish your posts were in English and not Italian. Bablefish translations are not the best to work with.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 7:45 pm

We must descend into the den of vice and inequity next week. Going to the Sailboat show in Oakland.. Scary place the Bay area, freeways, stoplights, Burners.

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 7:51 pm

It would be best if everyone express their opinion in a way that would benefit all in a way that would not exclude those that do not understand. It's called responsibility.

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 7:58 pm

This truely IMHO is the burner way.

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Sun Apr 11, 2004 8:00 pm

R there any opinions?

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Mon Apr 12, 2004 1:33 pm

that would not exclude those that do not understand

That is an unbelievably weird statement from someone who's response to almost any direct question regarding his posts and/or motives is "you don't get it" coupled with a refusal to offer any explanations.

Wait... let me guess... I'm not going to "get this" either am I?[/img]

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:17 pm

Oh no LL, you've definitly "got it."

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 4:24 pm

Lydia Love wrote:Wait... let me guess... I'm not going to "get this" either am I?[/img]

Wait a minute.....you still don't get it? :lol:

Board Manners and Courtesy

Board Manners and Courtesy

SURVEY SAYS...

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Cut and paste, cut and paste, cut and paste...

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