Hippies on the Increase call for some Creative Thinking.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:43 am

as most of you are well aware, the influx of the "Hippy Element" into burning man has reached crisis proportions and if we do not address the pressing need to staunch the flow of the great unwashed, we will certainly lose our way in the Desert, and experience our own little Altamont before too long.

we've actually hired some Hells Angels this year to keep people from stealing our muesli and activia yogurt.

We have tried No drum-circle circles. We have tried sonic repellents, but there seems to be a Techno-resistant strain of hippy, probably originating in the Eugene - Portland corridor that is oblivious to the oooontz ooontz that in past years would send the long hairs screaming.

Is there a Spray perhaps? Can we change the date at the last minute? because you KNOW these fucks wont check their e-mail for WEEKS on end...

SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

perhaps a blockade at the Oregon border, like what california did for the med-Fly problem.

maybe billboards advertising a free Phish concert in sacramento.

a containment net around center camp and the cafe?

whatever it is, we need to act quickly, and decisively, or all will be lost forever, and instead of chilly PBR's, we'll be sitting around drinking chai tea, which i am of course, morally, and spiritually opposed to.

SO....here is a forum to offer practical solutions to a growing, fungus like problem that is plaguing the playa and smells like patchouli.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:50 am

If everyone were to attach a plow to the front of thier Mutant Vehicles......

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:51 am

Embrace your freedom to be angry and eat junk food.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:59 am

only bring plastic bongs.

you KNOW how pot-snotty they are about their "glass"....

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:03 am

post a sign at the entrance reading;

HELP WANTED

or

FREE SHOWERS

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:06 am

you have to be VERY careful about what you advertise.

BM was a Hetero event until some schmoe started putting up Bette Midler Concert posters on 447 in the early 90's.

that's all it took.

Post by **Sham** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:15 am

Why not invite Barry Manalow and Neil Diamond to perform for the week? That should repel pretty much everyone including the dreaded hippies!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:16 am

what was that sign across from Deep End in '07?

Get in, Get off, Get out..........

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:18 am

I have an idea!!

A Ron Jeremy look alike contest..........

"The Hedgehog Award"

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:19 am

Why not invite Barry Manalow and Neil Diamond to perform for the week? That should repel pretty much everyone including the dreaded hippies!

NO!

the last thing i want to see on the playa is my mom and her mah-jong club dressed in their finest gold lame animal print blouses while screaming "Mandy" and "song sung blue" at the top of their lungs.

hsdavis · Post by **hsdavis** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:26 am

why not line the roads leading to BRC with huge crosses made out of soap?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:38 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:
Why not invite Barry Manalow and Neil Diamond to perform for the week? That should repel pretty much everyone including the dreaded hippies!
NO!

the last thing i want to see on the playa is my mom and her mah-jong club dressed in their finest gold lame animal print blouses while screaming "Mandy" and "song sung blue" at the top of their lungs.

yeah, but, they could then be herded to the "Hedgehog award" stage.......
easily controlled that way.........

somekind · Post by **somekind** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:57 am

I think it's the promise of scrounging some free food and alcohol that is enticing them. If they were told they needed to buy tokens for beer they probably would turn around.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 9:54 am

yes somekind, in the past this would have worked, however they are mutating, and evolving into funding resistant strains such as the "Business Hippy" and "professional gardener hippy" who not only have money, but an agenda as well.

Abbie Hoffman was Suicided because he was writing a second edition to his famous work to be called "Lease this Book!"

ben & jerry, the secret power duo behind the rise of the "trustafarians" has declined comment, but are on record as saying "Fuck john birch, we'll just buy him out".

Post by **Sham** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:16 am

This is all some twisted evolution of the equal rights movement. I knew nothing good could come from that. Now the hippies are taking over BRC and we are all powerless to do anything about it----or are we?

chiefdanfox · Post by **chiefdanfox** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:07 pm

ygmir wrote:post a sign at the entrance reading;

HELP WANTED

or

FREE SHOWERS

haha!
Rename the festival to Bathing Man or BYO Man

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:26 pm

chiefdanfox wrote:
ygmir wrote:post a sign at the entrance reading;

HELP WANTED

or

FREE SHOWERS
haha!
Rename the festival to Bathing Man or BYO Man

hhaha
good ones CDF.....]

maybe:

WORKING MAN

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 3:28 pm

Fuck you all !!! I'm a hippie and I'm showing up! & there is not a DAMN thing you "playa posers" can do about it !! HA !! I'm going to wear my finest tye-dye.. though my hair will not be in dreads upon arrival.. it will be by the end of the event, just like YOURS ! I have a pair of berks JUST for the playa. I will sleep in my VW Bus & I will bring my own soap and bacon.. but I intend to bum as MUCH free PBR as I can guzzle! I plan on hunting you all down and give you BIG smelly hugs and perhaps a "special" brownie, just to Fuck You Day. The Dead is alive and heading to the desert so get used to it, fuck tards !! wuuu huuuu.. !!!!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:12 pm

ooohhh,
smelly hugs for smelly mugs......

I'm in......

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:42 pm

we could tell them that nudity will no longer be allowed for anyone over 25.

bx1 · Post by **bx1** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:02 pm

Best thread ever.

bx1 · Post by **bx1** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:03 pm

Boijoy wrote:Fuck you all !!! I'm a hippie and I'm showing up! & there is not a DAMN thing you "playa posers" can do about it !! HA !! I'm going to wear my finest tye-dye.. though my hair will not be in dreads upon arrival.. it will be by the end of the event, just like YOURS ! I have a pair of berks JUST for the playa. I will sleep in my VW Bus & I will bring my own soap and bacon.. but I intend to bum as MUCH free PBR as I can guzzle! I plan on hunting you all down and give you BIG smelly hugs and perhaps a "special" brownie, just to Fuck You Day. The Dead is alive and heading to the desert so get used to it, fuck tards !! wuuu huuuu.. !!!!

Strong words pilgrim... But you don't look so tough to me.

bx1 · Post by **bx1** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 7:09 pm

EspressoDude · Post by **EspressoDude** » Mon Mar 30, 2009 8:19 pm

bx1 wrote:

But then you wouldn't have been born....

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:35 am

oh Snap!

bx1 · Post by **bx1** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:09 am

EspressoDude wrote:
bx1 wrote:
But then you wouldn't have been born....

Not bad old timer, not bad at all.

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:29 pm

Note to self: Add Barry Manilow LP's and incense to my packing list

Now where the heck did I put my Bell-bottom's?

Post by **AntiM** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:32 pm

I still own my 70s era patchwork Seafarers. Did all the patching and embroidering myself over the decades. Oh, they've increased in size over the years, as have I, and now I cannot fit in them anymore anyway, but I still own them. They should be in a museum.

Post by **Sham** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:26 pm

I knew if I saved that crap long enough it would come back into style. I still have my elastic peace headband. Now what the hell happened to my hair?

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:49 pm

Hippies on the Increase call for some Creative Thinking.

How do we deal with the Influx of Hippies?

Hippies on the Increase call for some Creative Thinking.