The Darwin Award's
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Sail Man
- Posts: 4523
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
- Burning Since: 2008
- Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious
- Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
The Darwin Award's
Considering that this years theme is Evolution, I wonder if we will have any Darwin Awards distributed at this years burn. I certainly hope not, though I'm surprised no one has mentioned it yet.
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
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Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
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Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
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penguin
- Posts: 555
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:04 pm
- Burning Since: 2009
- Camp Name: Playafire
- Location: Southwestern High Desert
Hey Sail Man, since you mentioned it (and put it under Q &A, Tips and Tricks) -- how about some things that someone might do (has done in the past) that would potentially be eligible for nomination (and maybe how to avoid getting yourself nominated)?
Like:
Grey water is not good to drink, even if you mix it with a shot of everclear.
or:
Butter, even the salted variety is not a good substitute for sun block.
Like:
Grey water is not good to drink, even if you mix it with a shot of everclear.
or:
Butter, even the salted variety is not a good substitute for sun block.
"Playa mud is a GREAT sexual lubricant!"
"Ask DPW for a beer if you run out!"
"Gate Crew's sense of humor improves over the week- Hide one of your campmates in the car somewhere for a funny surprise!"
"Wearing multicolored warpaint adds a Cool Factor to your mug shot!"
"DON'T RUN OVER THAT BUNNY!!!!"
There's also a cute movie called "The Darwin Awards" that has cameos by numerous funny folks AND Twin City Surplus in Reno. (In the movie, it's run by "those Mythbusters guys".)
"Ask DPW for a beer if you run out!"
"Gate Crew's sense of humor improves over the week- Hide one of your campmates in the car somewhere for a funny surprise!"
"Wearing multicolored warpaint adds a Cool Factor to your mug shot!"
"DON'T RUN OVER THAT BUNNY!!!!"
There's also a cute movie called "The Darwin Awards" that has cameos by numerous funny folks AND Twin City Surplus in Reno. (In the movie, it's run by "those Mythbusters guys".)
Howdy From Kalamazoo
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Elderberry
- Moderator
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- Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:00 pm
- Burning Since: 2007
- Camp Name: Camp Kelly
- Location: Palm Springs
- Contact:
This guy should have gotten a Darwin Award at the 2007 burn...
There was a guy in our camp that was walking along and spotted what he thought was a dust covered soccor ball sitting out in front of someone's camp.
He ran up to it and gave it a kick with all his might trying to send it as far across the playa as he could.
Rather than a soccor ball, it turned out to be a dust covered bowling ball!
I'll leave the reast of the story to your imagination, only to say he spent the next few hours at the med tent and didn't walk very well the rest of the week.
JK
There was a guy in our camp that was walking along and spotted what he thought was a dust covered soccor ball sitting out in front of someone's camp.
He ran up to it and gave it a kick with all his might trying to send it as far across the playa as he could.
Rather than a soccor ball, it turned out to be a dust covered bowling ball!
I'll leave the reast of the story to your imagination, only to say he spent the next few hours at the med tent and didn't walk very well the rest of the week.
JK
Elderberry
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me
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Sail Man
- Posts: 4523
- Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
- Burning Since: 2008
- Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious
- Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Do not light the Man on fire early in hope's of jumping over it with your bike.
Do not go into Kidsville and hollar "Who wants candy?"
Do not attempt to run under to catch and save the skydiver "falling" to earth.
Do not play lawn darts with rebar.
Do not go wind-surfing during a duststorm.
Do not tell Gate they can't look in that part of your RV/Ve-hick-le.
And lastly, Do not go into Thunderdome and ask them to keep down the noise.
Penquin, didn't pay attention to where I posted this thread, but it seems rather appropriate here anyway
Do not go into Kidsville and hollar "Who wants candy?"
Do not attempt to run under to catch and save the skydiver "falling" to earth.
Do not play lawn darts with rebar.
Do not go wind-surfing during a duststorm.
Do not tell Gate they can't look in that part of your RV/Ve-hick-le.
And lastly, Do not go into Thunderdome and ask them to keep down the noise.
Penquin, didn't pay attention to where I posted this thread, but it seems rather appropriate here anyway
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
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Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
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Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
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penguin
- Posts: 555
- Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:04 pm
- Burning Since: 2009
- Camp Name: Playafire
- Location: Southwestern High Desert
Heh, that's what I was thinkin' tooSail Man wrote:Penquin, didn't pay attention to where I posted this thread, but it seems rather appropriate here anyway
Playa foot is not a large ape-like being who comes out at night.
Preperation-H and GOOP are not interchangeable.
Just because someone tells you "You look hot" doesn't always mean they want your body -- they might just think you've been out in the sun too long.
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dragonfly Jafe
- Posts: 1877
- Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 11:08 am
- Location: the Oregon Trail
-Alcohol, in excess and taken internally, is the best sunblock ever
-Socks and shoes or boots cause playa foot - go barefoot and enjoy the playa
-Mutant Vehicles enjoy greeting new friends, especially unlit bicycles at night who veer in front of them at the last moment
-JOTS are the best place to wait out a dust storm (and are filled with electrolyte replenishing fluids that resemble blue gatoraid)
-dress like a clown and see how many bikes you can get "gifted" to you in one night
-practice fire breathing using benzene (safer than kerosene)
-test that generator's output is OK by sticking your tongue to it (just like a 9v battery)
-grey water is a good skin tonic
-chicken and fish have natural preservatives - they do not need to be kept frozen (just cook until the smell goes away)
-the cops know where the best drugs are - just ask them
-Socks and shoes or boots cause playa foot - go barefoot and enjoy the playa
-Mutant Vehicles enjoy greeting new friends, especially unlit bicycles at night who veer in front of them at the last moment
-JOTS are the best place to wait out a dust storm (and are filled with electrolyte replenishing fluids that resemble blue gatoraid)
-dress like a clown and see how many bikes you can get "gifted" to you in one night
-practice fire breathing using benzene (safer than kerosene)
-test that generator's output is OK by sticking your tongue to it (just like a 9v battery)
-grey water is a good skin tonic
-chicken and fish have natural preservatives - they do not need to be kept frozen (just cook until the smell goes away)
-the cops know where the best drugs are - just ask them
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
Arthur Schopenhauer
Arthur Schopenhauer
Petroleum distillate (i.e., bike chain lubricant) is a great substitute for saline especially when you randomly pick it up off the playa and shoot it up your nose.
Giving your shoes to the dude without shoes is a great way to truly experience Burning Man through the rituals of playa foot and "Ooops, I guess I didn't see that rebar."
The best way to wash down your downer drugs is not with water, it is with . . . alcohol!
Giving your shoes to the dude without shoes is a great way to truly experience Burning Man through the rituals of playa foot and "Ooops, I guess I didn't see that rebar."
The best way to wash down your downer drugs is not with water, it is with . . . alcohol!
Knowledge is Power
Power is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Therefore Knowledge is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Power is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Therefore Knowledge is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac
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flatlander13
- Posts: 265
- Joined: Tue May 20, 2008 11:53 am
Don’t fuck every guy that tells you he is Larry Harvey…..you won’t make it past the Greeters gate.
For god sake…..DO NOT WALK AROUND THE PLAYA DRESSED AS MICHAEL JACKSON……PLEASE
Don’t push the women at the Critical Tits parade to get a better spot……they are much tougher than you and will kick your ass.
Don’t invite me to watch your kid while you go out on the playa or the night……….
Don’t VIDEO THE COPS ALL THE TIME FOR FUCKING YOUTUBE.
Thus endith the lesson………….
For god sake…..DO NOT WALK AROUND THE PLAYA DRESSED AS MICHAEL JACKSON……PLEASE
Don’t push the women at the Critical Tits parade to get a better spot……they are much tougher than you and will kick your ass.
Don’t invite me to watch your kid while you go out on the playa or the night……….
Don’t VIDEO THE COPS ALL THE TIME FOR FUCKING YOUTUBE.
Thus endith the lesson………….
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theCryptofishist
- Posts: 40312
- Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:28 am
- Burning Since: 2017
- Location: In Exile
What about washing my downer cows?jofezasa wrote: The best way to wash down your downer drugs is not with water, it is with . . . alcohol!
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
