P. J. O'Rourke Quotefest 2004

issimo · Post by **issimo** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:27 pm

Ladies and gentlemen take my advice: take off your pants and slide on the ice. Dr. Friedman M.A.S.H.

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 6:50 am

"The United States will set a new record for the speed of the rise and fall of an empire" Toynbee

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:56 pm

David Ben Gurion said, "Let us not ignore the truth among ourselves...politically, we are the aggressors and they defend themselves...The country is theirs, because they inhabit it, whereas we want to come here and settle down,
The israelis certainly don't let immorality get in their way.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Sat Jan 03, 2009 7:54 pm

He that makes a good war makes a good peace.

George Herbert

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 8:41 pm

"I just don't want you to hate me"

Micky O

The Wrestler

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:32 pm

Nuclear war is natures flea powder- J.L.Hudson

Karlene · Post by **Karlene** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:34 pm

The winners laugh and tell funny jokes, the losers say deal the fucking cards.

Ernie Hughes, Melrose, Massachusettes

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:18 pm

This site has some funny stuff;
http://independentsources.com/2006/07/1 ... pany-urls/

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Apr 05, 2009 8:48 am

"In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." ~ Eric Hoffer

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Apr 05, 2009 9:01 am

can't sit still wrote:"In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." ~ Eric Hoffer

very good

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Apr 19, 2009 6:54 pm

â€œA law-and-order conservative is a liberal whoâ€™s been mugged.â€

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Wed May 27, 2009 4:35 pm

[There is a] "very big hole" in unfunded pension and health-care liabilities built up by a careless political class over the years.

"We at the Dallas Fed believe the total is over $99 trillion," he said in February.

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:26 pm

I'm a guy who sees nothing good having come from the Internet. Period."

Michael Lynton
CEO of Sony Pictures

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Jun 07, 2009 6:43 am

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." -- Winston Churchill

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:04 pm

People are like slinkies; not really useful for anything, but soooooo much fun to push down the stairs!

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Tue Jul 28, 2009 7:33 pm

"The power of technology - such as blogs - meant that the world could no longer be run by "elites" Gordon Brown
Paraphrased,,, "this depression will be worse than the great depression of 1929" Bernanke in a town hall meeting.

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Thu Nov 19, 2009 5:45 pm

"Sheâ€™s like a fantastically beautiful lover who has severe mental health issues"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/art/ ... -City.html
Johnnie Shand Kydd

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:32 pm

"Funding a civilization civilization through advertising is like trying to get nutrition by connecting a tube from one's anus to one's mouth," Lanier says."
http://www.alternet.org/media/145683/ar ... ic_decline

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Mon Feb 22, 2010 4:34 pm

â€œWe are at present working discreetly, but with all our might, to wrest this mysterious force called sovereignty out of the clutches of the local national states of the world. And all the time we are denying with our lips what we are doing with our hands.â€

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Thu Apr 01, 2010 8:32 pm

"The goal of a good society is to structure social relations and institutions so that cooperative and generous impulses are rewarded, while antisocial ones are discouraged. The problem with capitalism is that it best rewards the worst part of us: ruthless, competitive, conniving, opportunistic, acquisitive drives, giving little reward and often much punishment -- or at least much handicap -- to honesty, compassion, fair play, many forms of hard work, love of justice, and a concern for those in need." -- Michael Parenti

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:03 pm

This is also the theme of my novel, Absolved. It is titled after this quote from John Locke that the Founders embraced:

Ã¢â‚¬Å“Whenever the legislators endeavor to take away and destroy the property of the people, or to reduce them to slavery under arbitrary power, they put themselves into a state of war with the people, who are thereupon absolved from any further obedience.Ã¢â‚¬

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Tue May 04, 2010 6:55 pm

If you've ever been to Pamplona, you'll recognize this quote '"We are reminded of that joke about the most common last words of an Australian: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 12:49 pm

Great Orators of the Democrat Party

"One man with courage makes a majority." - Andrew Jackson

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"The buck stops here." - Harry S. Truman

"Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." - John F. Kennedy

And, from today's genius Democrats...

"It depends what your definition of 'Sex' is?'' - Bill Clinton

"That Obama ... I would like to cut his NUTS off." - Jesse Jackson

"Those rumors are false ... I believe in the sanctity of marriage." - John Edwards

"I invented the Internet." - Al Gore

"The next Person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads up their ASS." - Joe Biden

"America is ... is no longer, uh, what it ... it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was ... uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want that future, uh, uh for my children." - Barack Obama

"I have campaigned in all 57 states." - Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)

"You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats." - Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006)

"Paying taxes is voluntary." - Sen. Harry Reid

"Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he." - Hillary Clinton (Quoted 1998)

And the most recent gem of wisdom from the "Mother Moron":

"We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what's in it."

- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March, 2010)

HOW LUCKY CAN WE BE - TO HAVE SUCH BRILLIANT MINDS IN CHARGE OF OUR ONCE GREAT COUNTRY?

''Life's tough ... it's even tougher if you're stupid.''

- John Wayne

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:27 am

â€

lucky420 · Post by **lucky420** » Tue Oct 26, 2010 2:55 pm

"Some of you look Asian to me" Sharon Angle (republican candidate for senate Nevada) speaking to a classroom of hispanic teens

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sat Jan 01, 2011 6:54 pm

"And of what kind are the men that will strive for this profitable preeminence, through all the bustle of cabal, the heat of contention, the infinite mutual abuse of parties, tearing to pieces the best of characters? It will not be the wise and moderate, the lovers of peace and good order, the men fittest for the trust. It will be the bold and the violent, the men of strong passions and indefatigable activity in their selfish pursuits. These will thrust themselves into your government and be your rulers." - Excerpt from "Dangers of a Salaried Bureaucracy" addressed to the Constitutional Convention members by Benjamin Franklin in 1787

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:55 pm

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying..

- Rodney Dangerfield

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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it...

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist' s diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:10 am

In March 2010 Secretary of "Defense" Robert Gates complained that "the general [European] public and the political class" are so opposed to war they are an "impediment" to peace.

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:11 am

From the film "The Battle of Algiers":Journalist: M. Ben M'Hidi, don't you think it's a bit cowardly to use women's baskets and handbags to carry explosive devices that kill so many innocent people?
Ben M'Hidi: And doesn't it seem to you even more cowardly to drop napalm bombs on defenseless villages, so that there are a thousand times more innocent victims? Of course, if we had your airplanes it would be a lot easier for us. Give us your bombers, and you can have our baskets.

can't sit still · Post by **can't sit still** » Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:15 am

"The whole art of Conservative politics in the 20th century is being deployed to enable wealth to persuade poverty to use its political freedom to keep wealth in power." â€“ Aneurin Bevan, Labour Party (UK) minister, 1897-1960