Okay you "experienced" burners, tell us vergins so

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:44 pm

Cowboy.. have a sip of water. Your going to work yourself into a lather and dehydrate.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:46 pm

mojo wrote:Have a cold soda.....they occasionally get beer but rarely something cold to rehydrate with.

because soda will rehydrate them REALLY well.....

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri May 01, 2009 12:54 pm

Something acidic works best, since you tend towards alkalosis when you are dehydrated.

mojo · Post by **mojo** » Fri May 01, 2009 1:33 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:
mojo wrote:Have a cold soda.....they occasionally get beer but rarely something cold to rehydrate with.

because soda will rehydrate them REALLY well.....

Yep - 'tis a blunder, but I LIKE cold soda!

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Fri May 01, 2009 10:11 pm

BlackRockCowboy wrote:I type as I am jumping up and down uncontrollably with a grin from ear to ear!!!!!

It is in my hand as I slowly stroke it back and forth gazing at it's beauty not believing that it is here. As I smell it, I breathe the idea of the playa, the freedom, the expression, the attraction of it all drawing me like a moth to a flame. I gaze, glassy eyed now, realizing that after at least 5 years in the making I am starting my maiden voage to the Man. My virginity will be sacrificed as I release years of conservative upbringings and ideals in the middle of the Nevada Desert. Joy starts to seep from every pore in my body as I quiver with excitement and uncontrolled spasms of pleasure. I take a deep breathe and try to bring myself back down to reality, back to a world that I must reside and be productive for another few months until I can bury the past and begin life anew at FREAKIGN BURNING MAN 2009!!!!!!!!!!

Jesus did I just bust a nut or what?? Forgive me for my excitement.....LOL

Cowboy (Official Member, ticket in hand, of the BM Virgin class of 2009)

Careful Cowbow, many a virgin have showed up at Gate with what use to be a ticket and have to explain how and why your handing them a pile of shitty paper expecting to get in...... Not going to happen....

Also many a burner have forgotten where they place ones ticket or forgot to bring it with them.. And with No Gate Sales this Year, well you know what won't happen.....

Gage · Post by **Gage** » Mon May 04, 2009 12:18 am

Ahhh, feels good to come back to ePlaya!! I remember asking all the noob questions last year, and just looking in the garage this last weekend made me pull out my fur coat to get a whiff of the dust...

Here's my $.02-

1) Most, I repeat most, of the peeps on here have some great advice, but like with anything, it doesn't mean jack shit unless you actually do something about it. Suggestion: Copy/paste everything even remotely helpful into a word document, and just keep building on it. It will get huge, but you will be able to start deleting things as repeats and a better understanding evolve, move high importance items to the top of your list, and make 2 lists: 1 for setup/camp/prep and 1 for supplies.

2) DO NOT SET ANY EXPECTATIONS FOR WHAT WILL OR WILL NOT HAPPEN. Just be PREPARED for anything, and you'll have a life-changing experience. Most of the shit that happens is completely random, and, in my opinion, that's what makes Burning Man so f'in cool - what it ALLOWS to happen...

3) I would researching the Theme Camps and maybe joining one for your first year. That was the difference for us. If we had questions, needed help, or unexpectedly was ordered to join the whiskey/brownie camp ride for 4+ hours, it was a huge ++ for us to be a part of that. And now having done that and now having a completely different outlook of BM, we can go balls out this year and define ourselves... Best way to do so is go to a regional event if possible, 2nd is through the peeps on ePlaya, and 3rd best way is online research.

4) Don't laugh, but we brought our queen size pillow-top mattress to sleep on. Took up most of our tent. But when it came time to sleep, we did it hard, woke up refreshed, and had a comfy place to exercise our demons... LOL Translated - Make your place comfy. You WILL need to unwind.

5) Stay up for at least 1 sunrise, if not more...

6) If you're the paranoid type, you may wanna stay in one place, especially if it's a good chill spot. Don't do drugs out in the open if that's your bag, fyi.

Lastly, try and bring small gifts to share with others, and don't forget to participate in as many things as you can!!

GageNdG, back in the ePlaya house!

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Mon May 11, 2009 6:06 am

here is the body of a letter sent to a Newb from toronto who is traveling all the way down the 80...

it is advice without the usual snark, so take it for what it is, my mistakes that i have learned from the hard way so you dont have to.

DO NOT TAKE JUNGO RD. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

i cannot emphasize this enough....go to wadsworth or sparks and backtrack up 447.

i took jungo in 1998 and it almost killed us....literally..

i like to go all the way to sparks / reno......maybe do the whole flying J or T & A truck stop shower thing (trust me, it could be the last real one you get for a while) and go do my shopping before i head to the site...

i like to take pyramid way (445-446-447) it's slightly longer, but you get to see the lake and drive around part of it and the scenery is spectacular as well as being the road less traveled because of the extra 20 minutes.

from reno/sparks to the site at a nice pace (DO NOT SPEED THRU TOWNS! they go from 65 to 55 to 45 to 35 to 25 mph VERY QUICKLY obey these to the letter.....the towns of Nixon and empire rely on busting stupid tourists who go just 1 mile over the limit. i swear, they will bust you if you are going 27 mph thru town.) be careful about pulling over, stop only at designated pull-outs, and be aware that people are idiots and fly down that road in their damn rv's at 90 mph. watch for cows, it is free range grazing and they do sit in the road.

as far as time...i have made it 40 hours....that was straight thru, no sleep, i do not recommend it, you will be shot or worse, get sick during the first couple of days...try salt lake for a stop-over, get some sleep, food, and then make the big push thru Northern Nevada DURING THE DAY....do not attempt i-80 from wendover to winnemucca at night...trust me...

if you break down, you are doomed.

DO NOT STOP IN WINNEMUCCA if you can avoid it.......the whole town's economy is based on shaking down travelers, and they LOVE to rip off BM people, hence the jungo rd myth....they send you down it, and then charge you $500 to tow you out when you get stuck.....and you WILL get stuck.
The local police are very much into entrapment and "undercover" narcotic sales....if you must stop in WannaFuckya, dont talk to anyone.

i'm serious...

figure it will take 60 hours....36 to get to salt lake, sleepy time there, and another 12 to the site...

if you make it sooner, then great, but as always, expect delays.

Post by **AntiM** » Mon May 11, 2009 6:58 am

Right, Jungo Road is not for the unprepared or amateurs.

We do Wendover to Winnemucca at night, and nap at the Flying J in Winnemucca. But then, we're Utahns and Larry is a trucker who knows I-80 in great detail, so he can do the drive easily. There are a few deceptively steep passes, if you're towing a trailer and don't have experience, take it easy on the downhill.

We turn off at Fernley to 447. Both the Loves and the Pilot truckstops there have showers, although I don't know if you need a CDL to use them or not. The cops get their coffee at the Loves, so be prepared to say howdy, weaar your undewear and don't smell like smoke. Seriously, two bimbettes in tiny skirts got shaken down for indecent exposure. If you are not on the playa, you are in small town Nevada. Remember that.

The sun is coming up as we head north, which is kinda nice. We tend to hit the gate at first light.

mojo · Post by **mojo** » Mon May 11, 2009 11:34 am

Something we have done for years that I don't even think about much anymore is to designate one special packing box as the "set up box". It has saved me a huge amount of time and energy fetching stuff that is needed often. It comes off the trailer first and gets loaded last. It contains all the tape, zip ties, stakes, mallet, gloves, feet for coolers, hose for propane tank, valve for barbecue, caps for rebar, etc, etc..... having everything in one place makes a huge difference.

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:08 pm

yup. same applies to moving into a new home. pack a box that gets moved into the home first.. has your beer, toilet paper, etc..

misfit · Post by **misfit** » Mon May 11, 2009 2:17 pm

>>>>Lastly, try and bring small gifts to share with others<<<<

WHY???
used to be if i didn't shoot you in the leg, or run over your tent with my mutant,,, that was a gift and,,, you had a great day....

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon May 11, 2009 6:07 pm

misfit wrote:>>>>Lastly, try and bring small gifts to share with others<<<<

WHY???
used to be if i didn't shoot you in the leg,... that was a gift ....

Go ahead. Shoot me in the leg. See iif I care.

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Mon May 11, 2009 7:51 pm

Jesus Fishy, and I was in such a good mood. (SIGH) Some of us do care and have feelings, and that's not funny, it's sick. Or something.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Mon May 11, 2009 7:54 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
misfit wrote:>>>>Lastly, try and bring small gifts to share with others<<<<

WHY???
used to be if i didn't shoot you in the leg,... that was a gift ....
Go ahead. Shoot me in the leg. See iif I care.

<BFG>

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon May 11, 2009 9:41 pm

Lenny Bruce yet lives.

What next......

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Mon May 11, 2009 10:19 pm

misfit wrote:>>>>Lastly, try and bring small gifts to share with others<<<<

WHY???
used to be if i didn't shoot you in the leg, or run over your tent with my mutant,,, that was a gift and,,, you had a great day....

ahh the good ol days.. how i wish i coulda been there

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue May 12, 2009 11:15 am

Dr. Pyro wrote:Jesus Fishy, and I was in such a good mood. (SIGH) Some of us do care and have feelings, and that's not funny, it's sick. Or something.

I'm sorry, Doc.

And a little touched.
Thank you.

falk · Post by **falk** » Thu May 14, 2009 7:21 am

phil wrote:Dad never had that sex talk with me, and I don't have kids.

I wonder if there's a connection. Maybe you could look it up on the internet somewhere.

BlackRockCowboy · Post by **BlackRockCowboy** » Thu May 14, 2009 8:08 am

redtube, pornotube all have the videos, not really instructional but you should be able to see what you need to do to make a baby.

of course, the number one rule is that it takes a man and a woman not a man and a man, so if you are not into women, then you might need to find a willing female friend and a turkey baster....it has been done.

even if babies are not the desired outcome remember to never play without a raincoat!

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu May 14, 2009 8:19 am

I was watching porn when I was 12.......

I attribute this to knowing alternative places to place your seed when the time comes.

I never used a rubber until I was in my 30's.

Bounce530 · Post by **Bounce530** » Thu May 14, 2009 8:26 am

oneeyeddick wrote:I never used a rubber until I was in my 30's.

That explains why there are so many 'little dicks' running around.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu May 14, 2009 8:56 am

BlackRockCowboy wrote:redtube, pornotube all have the videos, not really instructional but you should be able to see what you need to do to make a baby.

of course, the number one rule is that it takes a man and a woman not a man and a man, so if you are not into women, then you might need to find a willing female friend and a turkey baster....it has been done.

even if babies are not the desired outcome remember to never play without a raincoat!

have you seen "Pink Flamingos", (the movie, not the play)?

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Thu May 14, 2009 10:12 am

Bounce

they run?

dust&music · Post by **dust&music** » Thu May 28, 2009 1:58 am

[quote="BlackRockCowboy"]The point of this thread is advice and pointers for newbies. I mean, not the things I can find in the survival guide(I have read it for 5 years now). I want the one thing you won't go to BM without, the best little hint you can pass on or a trick of the trade so to speak....

Think of that sex talk with your kid....what would you want him to know that you didn't and had to learn the hard way. (Clarification, the sex talk thing is an example not a literal question!) (Of course, if you have any sex advice feel free to private message me....pictures and diagrams are welcome too.....LMAO)[/quote]

10 YEAR BURNER. (done it every way imaginable)
[b]My list of essentials:[/b]
Dust mask- http://www.playalung.com
Baby wipes- two big packs
Head lamp and two flashlights
Camel pack
Goggles and a back up pair (yellow or clear)
Good earplugs (silicone moldable) mold to your ears great for sleeping
High end lip stuff with sunscreen.

SilverOrange · Post by **SilverOrange** » Thu May 28, 2009 4:04 pm

When you see them go by to pump out the portolets, get in line to take a shit. You might be sorry if you wait til later.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu May 28, 2009 6:53 pm

SilverOrange wrote:When you see them go by to pump out the portolets, get in line to take a shit. You might be sorry if you wait til later.

You might find that suppositories help you shit on command.

SilverOrange · Post by **SilverOrange** » Thu May 28, 2009 7:43 pm

Coffee and cigarettes seem to work beautifully for me.

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Fri May 29, 2009 10:06 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
SilverOrange wrote:When you see them go by to pump out the portolets, get in line to take a shit. You might be sorry if you wait til later.
You might find that suppositories help you shit on command.

Ummm, I thought only put in what you ate or drank? I sure hope they make those suppositories in cherry flavor

Barbie · Post by **Barbie** » Fri May 29, 2009 10:15 am

Pay Attention to WHats around yOU... and the bathroom is wet and really slippery just after They clean ~ wait just a little while till they dry...

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Fri May 29, 2009 12:04 pm

Heck with that !!!

........when they are done, use the standing puddles inside to give yourself a splash and a freshy !!!

Okay you "experienced" burners, tell us vergins so

Re: Ticket just delivered and signed for!!!

Re: Okay you "experienced" burners, tell us vergin