Hippies on the Increase call for some Creative Thinking.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed May 13, 2009 7:04 pm

Karlene, do us all a favor and under where Oneeyeddick's icon is there's a row of three little yellow faces. Click the 2nd one and put OED on "ignore." That was we can enjoy his snark without having to wade through your dreary, hippie-dippie attempts to put him in what you apparently think is his place.

Thank you

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu May 14, 2009 8:27 am

i think they need to just get a room and work this out the old fashioned way.

hot, angry, messy competitive scrabble.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu May 14, 2009 8:54 am

hey,
you can't use the same word twice........."bone, bone"......unless it's the name of a frozed sexual treat............

C'mon Simon, you know that............

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu May 14, 2009 9:16 am

This is the only place where a hippie could yell out " I HAVE GONORRHEA " and it works to thier advantage.

( lots of points )

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu May 14, 2009 5:51 pm

one's a verb, the other's a noun.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu May 14, 2009 7:58 pm

scrabble don't care. b-o-n-e is b-o-n-e................now, bone-r............

'tis better to give than to recieve............

IMHO.........

chinacatsunflower · Post by **chinacatsunflower** » Thu May 14, 2009 10:47 pm

did someone say something about a free phish show?

Karlene · Post by **Karlene** » Fri May 15, 2009 1:50 pm

Maybe you're dreary. One eye needs to go on some kind of porn site where people are really INTERESTED in his penis because that's where he lives.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Fri May 15, 2009 2:27 pm

oneeyeddick wrote: has anybody seen Dave ?

Leave out of this...

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat May 16, 2009 6:17 am

somekind · Post by **somekind** » Sat May 16, 2009 7:36 am

Not many people appreciate hippies less than Burning Man:

Recognizing the hippy threat

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat May 16, 2009 7:46 am

somekind, that link was SO good at defining and describing the various sub-types that i think it needs to be posted here in it's entirety as a public service to those who may not know the tell-tale signs that they are indeed, in the presence of a Hippy...

read and learn, read and learn.

As the ranking True Christianâ„¢ and owner/proprietor of the Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex in North "by God" Carolina, I am pleased to report that the instances of Wiccan and hippy activity near the south fenceline have dramatically dropped in the last two months since my acquisition of the land beyond the former perimeter. I purchased the additional 600 acres with the Lords blessing on Dec 16th and the last Wiccan was treed on the night of Jan 22nd. The last hippy was apprehended on the following week on the 26th.

I have had a relatively slow period(forgive the nasty talk) these last few weeks and have kept myself busy with the Godly retraining procedures and such. Revamping the direction of the instruction if you will. This has not been easy as the last few Wiccans were the most violent to date and the hippies require constant monitoring to assure total sobriety throughout the process. It has been noted that the common hippy can "get high" on practically anything. And will if left unattended for more than the briefest of periods.

I have been observing the hippies and their unnatural tendencies for years. This has afforded me the uncanny ability to differentiate between the 5 sub-groups of the common hippy. The following is a short review of these sub-groups as well as their individual attribute. This is intended to aid the True Christianâ„¢ faithful in spotting and immediate capture or avoidance of any who fall within these guidelines.
For as we all know,
ALL HIPPIES ARE DISGUSTING BUT THEY AREN'T ALL DISGUSTING FOR THE SAME REASONS.

Sub-group 1.
The Original/Classic Hippy.
Charlie Manson and his filthy crew are in this group. Extremely violent and dangerous. These miscreants are prone to kidnapping young girls for interracial sex orgies and drug crazed self pleasuring carnivals of indecency. These sex perverts will stop at nothing until the entire world is a grotesque tie dyed explosion of naked unGodliness. Sandals are common year round.
They speak in their own unintelligible language with words like "groovy" and "man" or "wow" or "like" peppering their speech constantly.
They can be easily spotted due to their penchant for beads and fringed clothing as well as German and Swedish automobiles such as Volvo wagons and Volkswagon Microbuses. They also reek of Patchouli and body odor mixed with copious amounts of acrid Marijuana smoke. It is an unmistakable assault on the olfactory system. Long hair and ungroomed body fuzz only furthers their offensiveness.

Sub-group 2.
The New Agers/Crystal Rubbers.
This group is usually surrounded by Native American trinkets such as the "dream catcher" and other demonic feathered items. With their insipid claims of "vibes" and the so-called "benefits" of herbal tea and "holistic medicine". This group will usually attempt to convert you immediately with a never-ending Satanic dialogue. A strap of duct tape is useful in stifling this Hellish mumbo-jumbo. Weird earth oriented blessings and crystal centered Satanic rituals are commonplace in this groups environment. Incense fills their clothes and ponytails and braids with the horrible scents of Hell. Sandalwood and Black Love.
Plenty of subdued earthtones and of course sandals are the normal dress for this brand of evildoer.

Sub-group 3.
The Neo-hippy.
This is by far the most often encounted of the groups. This is the kid in the mall wearing the hemp necklace and the "Phish" tie dyed T-shirt reading poetry to his homosexual buddies. The females create the sinful waste of time known as "hemp art" by tying knot after evil knot in twine formed from the Devils weed. They also create their own clothing and wear sandals year round.
Smoking reefers and doing acid paper constantly has eroded the brain to the point of actually protesting the United States in several hundred of these devil worshipping addicts. They are generally too young and uninformed to know any better and require the most retraining of all the groups.
The women are hairy and loose with the clothing to the point of being practically nude. The men wear tie Dyed shirts and baggy ripped jeans. The promiscuosity presented by these heathens makes Jesus sick to His glorious stomach. The women are especially crafty and will not hesitate to use their feminine wiles to get what they want. YOUR SOUL.

Sub-group 4.
The Vegetarian/Eco-Wacko.
Easily recognized by their gaunt features and lack of body fat, these heretics are nothing short of God forsaken! With their skinny bodies and their "animals before humans" attitude, they never last long in captivity. Retraining almost always proves fatal. Jesus is incredibly disappointed in this group for their assumption that He was a vegetarian.
Easily captured due to the ease at which they faint. Tree hugging and shrub humping Satanist weirdos bent on the idea of a planet owned by animals where humans wander the land eating twigs and berries.
Look for pastel colors and animal pictures on their clothing. Sandals and dreadlocks. The men are generally homosexual and pass out immediately if threatened with more than a strong word.

Sub-group 5.
Militant Activists/Leftist Guerrillas.
These are easily the most detrimental group of them all. The Classic hippy is a walk in the park in comparison to this odiferous wastrel. Completely unhinged and exibiting a herd mentality that can only be described as Satanic in origin. Normally found in crowds, it is rare to apprehend a single Sub-group 5 member. Usually there are several dozen gathered for some insipid purpose. The protest signs they carry are a dead giveaway. Usually their signs are designed specifically to make Jesus cry.
Screaming nonsense and blithering about "rights" this and "rights" that, the Sub-group 5s are wirey fighters and normally require sedation in order to subdue them for retraining.
Look for tank-tops and lots of camo on the females and dreadlocks on both sexes.
Combat boots and as always, sandals.

You may have noticed an ongoing theme within all of the groups. Sandals and hair.
These are used solely in order to mock our Lord and Saviour. It is obvious, through careful research, to ascertain the hippies hidden homosexual agenda as well as the forced promiscuosity of minors through the use of terror and drug abuse. This is the core of the rotten apple of hippy dogma.
The peace symbol being a rendition of the broken Cross should be a warning to all who value their souls continuing non-damnation. Nothing enrages Christ Jesus faster than a mocking hippy worshipping mother earth instead of Him. This is easily a Satanic and inappropriate thing to do.
There should be little doubt as to the definite threat that they pose to our Glorious lifestyle. Care must be taken when apprehending one of these incredulous things. They bite as well as pinch and scratch.

With the help of the True Christianâ„¢ Saved of Landover Baptist in accordance with scripture, this horrible and disgusting menace will be thwarted. This aberration must be halted. With the information I have provided above, it should be no problem spotting a hippy in your area.

Be careful and any questions concerning hippies or hippy capture and retraining techniques(which are in a constant state of upgrade), feel free to contact me personally.
In Christ Jesus Holy name I pray.

Larry Harvey, Supreme Leader, Council of Nine.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat May 16, 2009 8:12 am

Simon of the Playa wrote: ...makes Jesus sick to His glorious stomach.

Now that's prose.

somekind · Post by **somekind** » Sat May 16, 2009 9:12 am

Not enough can be said about the hippy threat. Fortunately, they mark their houses, so you know who to stay away from (as if you couldn't smell that, already):

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Sat May 16, 2009 11:27 am

i have been following a little known story that i think is crucial in understanding the shape of things to come.

evidently, the us government, in particular I.C.E. has purchased all of the stock of Indian Batik wall hangings (hundreds of thousands of them!) and the reason behind this purchase, until now has been top secret.

you often hear about all of the "prison camps" being built by FEMA et al. and many fear that they, being of whatever conspiratorial mind set, are indeed the targets of this looming, frightening future.

fear not, oh you who wear aluminum yarmulkes, it is not you who the black helicopters chop chop chop for, it is the Hippy, and their Ilk.

the Batiks are merely to make them feel comfortable in their new arrangements, somewhere in Iowa, and at home before the final cleaning solution can be applied.

CapSmashy · Post by **CapSmashy** » Sat May 16, 2009 2:29 pm

Karlene wrote:Maybe you're dreary. One eye needs to go on some kind of porn site where people are really INTERESTED in his penis because that's where he lives.

I'm gonna have to correct you and say that pretty much everyone is interested in Dick's giant green dick once they see it in action. I have even heard it described as memorizing by some as they stumble towards it as it unfurls its hot load over them to the cries of more, more, more.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat May 16, 2009 7:44 pm

CapSmashy wrote:
Karlene wrote:Maybe you're dreary. One eye needs to go on some kind of porn site where people are really INTERESTED in his penis because that's where he lives.
I'm gonna have to correct you and say that pretty much everyone is interested in Dick's giant green dick once they see it in action. I have even heard it described as memorizing by some as they stumble towards it as it unfurls its hot load over them to the cries of more, more, more.

I, myself, was mesmerized.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Sat May 16, 2009 10:17 pm

Thanks guys, I'm glad my Giant Green Penis made you happy.

The saddle on top of it this year has stirrups, but due to how low my balls hang they will only be appropriate to children or midgets or knee-down amputees.

OK, this thread is starting to drift.

Has anyone seen Dave lately ?

I haven't seen him for like a week.....man.

Sensei · Post by **Sensei** » Sat May 16, 2009 10:28 pm

Sarcasm: It's probably best that you don't get it.

chinacatsunflower · Post by **chinacatsunflower** » Sat May 16, 2009 10:58 pm

"Hippies are the bane of America. They are responsible for the Liberalism that makes us weak on defense and putty in the hands of people who don't deserve our respect like Mexicans and Muslims and gays."

Clearly this Marshal fellow is full of not only rightousness and patriotism, but wisdom as well!

This is seriously the greatest thing I have ever read...

Toolmaker · Post by **Toolmaker** » Sat May 16, 2009 11:12 pm

http://www.looptvandfilm.com/blog/bushandwead.mp3

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun May 17, 2009 3:57 pm

oneeyeddick wrote:Thanks guys, I'm glad my Giant Green Penis made you happy.

The saddle on top of it this year has stirrups, but due to how low my balls hang they will only be appropriate to children or midgets or knee-down amputees.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Mon May 18, 2009 12:06 am

Now, you see, I think that the problem is not so much how to get rid of the hippies, but how to use them as a resource! Certainly there must be some sort of use for them! Something they are good for...? Uhm..., er..., such as...?

Uh, let me get back to you on this....

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon May 18, 2009 9:27 am

Using their electric fields to charge up my static electricity perpetual motion machine.

SilverOrange · Post by **SilverOrange** » Mon May 18, 2009 10:31 am

Mmmmmm...free range, organic, grain fed hippy. The new, new white meat!*

*May contain THC

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Wed May 20, 2009 1:22 pm

from an article in the bbc interviewing Ang Lee about his recent movie debut in Cannes, and the "Hippy Bootcamp" he had to set up for the extras.

You have to give those half a million kids credit. They had three days of peace and music. Nothing violent happened. I don't know if we can pull that off today."

TALKING WOODSTOCK
Woodstock 1969
Axe - Any musical instrument
Ball - Sexual intercourse
Bread - Money
Freak - Insider's term for hippy
Fuzz - Police
Gas - Sublime
Lid - An ounce of marijuana
Ripped - Under the influence
Roach - A joint

To recreate the summer of love vibe for his film, Lee set up a flower power bootcamp, complete with a hippy handbook detailing common terms such as 'roach' (joint) and 'fuzz' (police).

But the biggest obstacle was finding convincing extras - actors without over-toned bodies and with pubic hair.

This is nudity, 60s-style.

so, what are we, chopped liver?

Gizmostarr · Post by **Gizmostarr** » Wed May 20, 2009 3:23 pm

What a drag.... they'll be out there all high and groovin and flashing peace signs and wearin tie-dyed and all.

And sayin stuff like... uh...."hey, man"

wedeliver · Post by **wedeliver** » Wed May 20, 2009 4:49 pm

Gizmostarr wrote:What a drag.... they'll be out there all high and groovin and flashing peace signs and wearin tie-dyed and all.

And sayin stuff like... uh...."hey, man"

The above picture was taken at NudeStock either 2005 or 2006 at the Laguna Del Sol resort near Sacramento.

BAS · Post by **BAS** » Thu May 21, 2009 12:38 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:

actors without over-toned bodies and with pubic hair.

Wait a minute! Acting causes pubic hair to fall out?!!

...and it makes the body "over-toned"?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu May 21, 2009 7:15 pm

Well, I'm sure you've heard the studies linking body hair loss and brain cells dieing.

Hippies on the Increase call for some Creative Thinking.

How do we deal with the Influx of Hippies?