Whatever happened to Jobe?

my innerself · Post by **my innerself** » Tue Apr 27, 2004 7:09 pm

Silly question here people, I am not a religous person (at all), but I do know bits and pieces of the bible much like anyone else. I am interested if anyone knows whatever happened to the bible character Jobe? you know, the one that had all the bad shit in his life, and was tested by god or something.

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:12 am

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:17 am

hey captian,

that graphic ROCKS

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:31 am

spelled "Job" but pronounced like you spelled it.

He had every single fucking thing in his life taken away from him by Satan (with God's approval at the test...). Livelyhood, family, health... what the point of the story was I can not tell you. I didn't understand most of the shit I was taught in vacation bible school as a child. The Old Testament continues to confound me.

A Google search would, of course, tell you fuckloads more.

III · Post by **III** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 2:26 am

point behind the story of job is that it's good for your soul to suffer.

it's why we're such dicks here on the eplaya - to bring you to greater enlightenment.

Silver · Post by **Silver** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:09 am

Short and sweet, after he had lost everything and was reduced to living on or in the dump scraping his open sores with pot shards he still kept his faith and god rewarded him seven fold. That is, god healed him up, and provided a new wife(wives), new kids, shitload of sheep or goats and what not.

Not bad for a atheist eh?

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 6:12 am

DVD Burner wrote:hey captian,

that graphic ROCKS

I thought I was gonna catch hell for that
Of course, I did it anyway...

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 8:53 am

That is, god healed him up, and provided a new wife(wives), new kids, shitload of sheep or goats and what not.

What? No SUV?

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 9:01 am

The Old Testament is confusing because it was written over the course of several thousand years by people who might be considered clinically insane today. Just goes to show you, times change. Check out the Book of Job, it's a pretty short read.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:00 am

Silver wrote:Short and sweet, after he had lost everything and was reduced to living on or in the dump scraping his open sores with pot shards he still kept his faith and god rewarded him seven fold. That is, god healed him up, and provided a new wife(wives), new kids, shitload of sheep or goats and what not.

Not bad for a atheist eh?

So what did original wife and kids do to deserve death? Or is it just the old "Get in the way of a Diety's wager" clause?

Clinicallly insane is possibly true. And that's just the redactor. Of course, I'm of the opinion that trying to believe some of that stuff literally renders you clinically insane as well.

(on the run from Ashcroft's America. . .)

Alpha · Post by **Alpha** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:17 am

Just for fun:

42:10 So the Lord restored what Job had lost after he prayed for his friends, and the Lord doubled1 all that had belonged to Job. 42:11 So they came to him, all his brothers and sisters and all who had known him before, and they ate bread with him in his house. They comforted him and consoled him for all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring.

42:12 So the Lord blessed the second part of Job’s life more than the first. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen, and a thousand female donkeys. 42:13 And he also had seven sons and three daughters. 42:14 The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah, and the third Keren-Happuch. 42:15 Nowhere in all the land could women be found who were as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance alongside their brothers.

42:16 After this Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. 42:17 And so Job died, old and full of days.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:22 am

Seven sons and a thousand female donkeys doesn't really sound like all that wonderful a combination to me. . .

Silver · Post by **Silver** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 10:58 am

So what did original wife and kids do to deserve death? Or is it just the old "Get in the way of a Diety's wager" clause?

Hey, read the old testament, it is just chock full of somebody getting it in the ear when god gets in a snit or is just playfull. The poor buggers that were living in the Promised Land, the children that were killed by bears for making fun of some holy man, everybody but Noah and his kin, the list goes on and on.

To be fair, offhand I cannot think of a god or gods that I would trust with my back turned, they all seem like a bunch of dangerous loons.

III · Post by **III** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 11:11 am

http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?passage=Job

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 12:42 pm

Isotopia wrote:What? No SUV?

Qu'est-ce que c'est... "Neon"... en 'Strine?

Last Real Burner · Post by **Last Real Burner** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 2:17 pm

Goddammit Captain!

shit,
mr smith

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 2:31 pm

Silver wrote: Hey, read the old testament, it is just chock full of somebody getting it in the ear when god gets in a snit or is just playfull. The poor buggers that were living in the Promised Land, the children that were killed by bears for making fun of some holy man, everybody but Noah and his kin, the list goes on and on.

That jibes with my understanding of the document in question. The whole thing seems to have been written by the Holy Land Mutton Board and isn't very persuasive about the benefits of belonging to the club. Unless of course, you enjoy singing things like "Oh lord, please don't burn us or simmer us in stock." I guess my post was more a meditation on the basic unfairness of J-H-V than a serious question.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 3:19 pm

If we're any help with your homework on the eplaya, hope ya'll'll let us know.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 3:28 pm

I read about Issiah's vision in the "The History of God". The author posits that unlike the visions of many eastern mystics (Buddha, for example), the prophets of the Old Testament had done nothing to prepare themselves for their encounter with the divine. Yogis and buddhists both devote a lot of energy to meditation, and in the case of yoga, physical preperation for an encounter with the divine. I've also had several people tell me that trying to awaken one's kundalini energy (encounter with the divine) without the proper preperation can lead to depression and in exteme case suicide. It made a lot of sense to me and helps explain the different approach to the divine that the eastern and western parts of our world culture take.

n'stuff.

my innerself · Post by **my innerself** » Wed Apr 28, 2004 5:04 pm

so job didn't die? he just kept getting punished and hurt, kept his chin up and it all worked out OK for him, thanks silver.

Simply Joel · Post by **Simply Joel** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 10:04 am

Is your Job half full or half empty?

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 10:38 am

This thread does not suck. To answer the question of what happened to Job, he righteously assumed Heaven.

Are you less of a Job, or more or less a Job, or does it matter (more or less) what it takes to get you to finish the job & shit or get off the pot? Attrition of the temporal. Dust to dust & tent poles wanging in the wind, Mr. Zipple the last to ask "who squeezed the Charmin?".

(Eliphaz on God)
Job 22
14 Thick clouds veil him, so he does not see us
as he goes about in the vaulted heavens.'

(Elihu on man asleep)
Job 33
15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,
when deep sleep falls on men
as they slumber in their beds,

(God, on God)
Job 41
5 Can you make a pet of him like a bird
or put him on a leash for your girls?

It was inspirational for me (finally!), and I thank you, my innerself, for what good may come from me this year in this regard. I'll maybe put some blinky-lights on the underside so those not appreciative may consider the aspect without hazard.

blyslv · Post by **blyslv** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 12:18 pm

Just for the record, the prophets back then wetre considered to be whatever the local lingo was for "clinically insane". Being a prophet kind of sucks.

my innerself · Post by **my innerself** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 4:29 pm

thanks for your advice nipples, very informative

paps · Post by **paps** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:07 pm

Was it not Whipple?

nipples · Post by **nipples** » Thu Apr 29, 2004 5:12 pm

Yes.
Who squeezed the Shaman.

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Sat May 01, 2004 11:43 pm

nipples wrote:This thread does not suck.

Does too.

Icepack · Post by **Icepack** » Sun May 02, 2004 8:01 pm

makes me think maybe I'll bring some religious materials- bible, koran, wiccan book of spells, etc whatever we can put together and randomly read pieces outloud to passersby. Seems like it would be fitting to the theme.
Maybe I'll even bring a soapbox and pretend to be a preacher... hmm..

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Sun May 02, 2004 8:04 pm

you can always create a new Bible.

Icepack · Post by **Icepack** » Sun May 02, 2004 8:14 pm

DVD Burner wrote:you can always create a new Bible.

Cool. Thanks for the link.

And what does the Blonker thing say? It's pretty quick.

Whatever happened to Jobe?

Whatever happened to Jobe?

There'll be hell to tell the Captain, you bugger...

this thread...