Did anyone else get this theme camp spam?

alt12 · Post by **alt12** » Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:51 pm

I received this unsolicited e-mail from the Bureau of Erotic Discourse.....I assume they sent it to me as I am the camp contact for the theme camp placement questionnaire...... Apparently they want me to "sit my camp down" and give them these rules (see below)....

B.E.D is reaching put to theme camps for the 2nd year asking you to each take just a few minuets with your camp do discuss sex at Burning man and how to stay safe. We hope you join the challenge this year!

Join our 2009 Theme Camp Challenge!
Wondering what you can do to create a healthy awareness of sexual assault on the playa and help keep your buddies safe? We have written easy to follow guidelines to help you discuss the subject and bring you camp up to date on this important issue!
http://www.bureauoferoticdiscourse.org/Home.php
Thank you for accepting the B.E.D. Theme Camp Challenge!

B.E.D. challenges every single Burning Man theme camp to make sexual assault education part of their camp business. We are asking every camp to sit down with your members and discuss the issue and responsibility of sexual exploration at Burning Man. How do you broach this sensitive subject? We have developed a short outline to help you out. It's easy!

Gather your peeps around (or use an email forum) and read the following:

"We want our campmates to be open and to enjoy any and all sex you may have at Burning Man! However, every year there are incidences of sexual assault on the playa and we want our beloved camp mates to be safe! So, even though it's an awkward subject, we would like to briefly talk about sex and what behavior we expect from all of our camp members. To promote this awareness, the Bureau of Erotic Discourse has asked up to endorse the following guidelines for safe sexual adventures:

#1 Always ask before touching, even if you know them! It's polite, it's good manners, it will earn their respect.

#2 Respect your partner's desires and boundaries. How do you find them out? ASK! Again, it's fun and sexy to find out a little about your partner before diving in.

#3 Do not have sex with an intoxicated or stoned person... not only is it technically against the law, but it is potentially very hurtful to that person. And what fun it that??? If you have made a sober pre-agreement with a partner and go get fucked up, thats cool... but do not pick up a drunk, high hottie and take advantage! Be smart, take care of your partner, cover your butt, get sober ... then get some conscious luvin'.

#4 Card your partner... OK, maybe that's exaggerating but please make sure your potential partner is of age. There are some darn hot underage peeps out there, so be aware! Again, we don't want anyone hurt out there.

#5 If you hear or see one of our campmates in trouble, step in and ask if they need help! We would like it if you did this with anyone out there, but we absolutely expect it with our theme camp family. We take care of each other! In addition, consider buddying up when you go out for the evening. Guys watch out for the women, and vice versa! We do not want any of our family member assaulted this year.

#6 If, god forbid, someone does get assaulted or feels threatened in any way, we want you to know right now that we support everyone here! No matter how it went down- tell us. There are amazing services available both at the Ranger Stations, Medical Tents and Emergency Services. We will go with you, we will hold your hand, we will take care of you. If some thing happens-- tell us! The same goes if some thing happens within our camp or outside of it. Remember, you are not alone!

If you need help with any sexual assault, domestic violence or other threatening situation, know that Burning Man has developed a team of Emergency Services personnel to help victims of violence or abuse. Seek help at any Ranger Station or Medical Station.

Also if you would like to donate to our button fund or purchase your own BED ware go too
http://www.bureauoferoticdiscourse.org/Home.php

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:23 pm

I know I got it. And promptly ignored it.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Wed Jul 22, 2009 6:43 pm

They have a long standing tradition of doing that every year.

Ignore or embrace it , the choice is yours, but if you embrace it, make sure it is "OK" with it first.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Wed Jul 22, 2009 8:20 pm

Silence is not consent...

alt12 · Post by **alt12** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:01 am

Well I was intoxicated when I got it so I feel hurt and I think it was "technically" against the law...

oneeyeddick wrote:They have a long standing tradition of doing that every year.

Ignore or embrace it , the choice is yours, but if you embrace it, make sure it is "OK" with it first.

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:29 am

whattya going do, arrest your hand?

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:27 am

alt12 wrote:Well I was intoxicated when I got it so I feel hurt and I think it was "technically" against the law...

The borg makes theme came lists available for such spam from other events/camps, it might be in the fine print when you registered your camp, I don't remember.

Expect more things like this in your inbox and don't let them bother you, just delete them if you don't like what you see.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:13 am

Make it simple.

Send return email and ask the babysitters/sex-monitors to mind their own fucking business.

(extra points if you sign your reply as coming from Camp Pedo Bear)

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:45 am

I didn't get it.

I feel violated.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:49 am

I'm a BED member, but this is not an official response.

I really don't think that BED sees itself as being either babysitters or as sex-monitors. BED has a simple intent: reducing sexual assault in a sex-positive context.

Requiring consent is the legal and moral thing to do.

Being clear about desires and boundaries is also the right thing to do. Equally important, it leads to better sex.

Reducing sexual assault takes a community response. BED is asking for that kind of response, and is providing some suggestions. You don't like the message or the form? OK, but the problem remains real, and BED is trying something positive. Suggest an improvement.

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:51 am

is it possible to be violated by being ignored?

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 11:11 am

ibdave wrote:Silence is not consent...

Nah, it's golden.....and duct tape is silver....

Patamon · Post by **Patamon** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:45 pm

It's pretty obnoxious, I guess BED or whomever they are must assume theme camps are full of drooling oversexed frat boy retards?

I passed it along to our camp list, and everyone is getting a good laugh out of it.

NO MEANS NO!!!! AHHHH!!!!

Generic Anonymity · Post by **Generic Anonymity** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:24 pm

Yes, it seems pretty obvious, especially with how inundated we are with the phrases, "No means no," and "Silence is not consent."
Most of us are, in fact, aware that someone who is drunk or high cannot give consent, or at least that their consent at that time doesn't really count.

But there may be people out there who have somehow missed out on this info, and it's nice to see someone trying to help.
They're not forcing their ideals on us, just making a suggestion.

thisisthatwhichis · Post by **thisisthatwhichis** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:57 pm

Yes, and we support them, for what they do...... Sometimes, in the overwhelming-ness that is BurningMan, remembering to communicate your thoughts strongly, prevents one of those LEO visits discussed on another thread...............

If ya don't care for the email.... the delete button is next to yer right pinky.....

Tamino · Post by **Tamino** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 3:04 pm

I think they are just radically expressing themselves.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 3:04 pm

Patamon wrote:It's pretty obnoxious, I guess BED or whomever they are must assume theme camps are full of drooling oversexed frat boy retards?

I passed it along to our camp list, and everyone is getting a good laugh out of it.

NO MEANS NO!!!! AHHHH!!!!

I'm sorry that you find it obnoxious. The reason to contact the theme camps is because we assume that they care about the event and their members. If we thought that the theme camps were full of retards then appealing to their better natures would be pretty foolish.

The reason that you are inundated with the messages about consent is because BED put them there. We started in 2005 in response to a very real assault, and a general lack of recognition that there was a problem. We continue because there are sexual assault on the playa every year, most of which are unreported. Every year BM gets thousands of new attendees, and they are seeing the BED material for the first time. BM is a sexually charged environment, and we like it that way. But it's not a "free fire zone" where anything goes, and we hope that the occasional reminder can help.

BED is not full of PR geniuses. If you have a problem with our words then please suggest ways that we could make them better.

Patamon · Post by **Patamon** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:34 pm

Dr. Placebo I'm not trying to endorse "Frat Boy" like behavoir at the event.

I guess the problem I have with the email that was sent out, was that it suggest some sort of sitdown with camp members to discuss all your B.E.D points. As if the Camp leader is a teacher, and all the camp mates are children, and they need to hear the teacher talk about some NO NO's or something.

I guess I see it this way... If you're some kinda Frat-Boy Ahole who comes to Burning Man to do innapropriate things, no talking to by a Camp leader is going to change your morals, or your mind.

It's not as if there are people showing up on the playa, thinking that the event is a free-for-all grope/sex/date-rape fest, and it's only when they read the B.E.D email they go ... "ohhh... ohhh... ok... So I can't be an ahole on the playa? Thanks dude! I had no idea!"

I mean... really? right? REALLY ?!?!?!

So my point is, a pointed list that needs to be discusses with camp-mates like that is pretty useless.

99.9% of the Burning Man population (I hope its that high, I may be wrong) Already knows this stuff, and being spoken to like they are a child by their Camp Leader isn't going to do anything productive.

and the .01% of the poplation who is just to stupid to "get it" Isn't going to have their behavoir modified anyways, these people are selfish schmucks who couldn't care less.

Anyways.. my 2 cents.

**burn** · Post by **burn** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:02 pm

I have had several friends receive drugs in their drinks at BM.
I think the BED program is helpful with reminding everyone that they do not have to silently deal with an attempt at sexual assault.
If a theme camp, or camps in general, have an understanding and some sort of plan in place for an assault attempt, members will more likely stand up cohesively and stop a perpetrator.
Not all women (or even men, for that matter) are capable of fighting back in some circumstances.

Jordan 10-E · Post by **Jordan 10-E** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:17 pm

Geez people, its a simple email. No need to get you panties in a bunch. I swear people get worked up about the stupidest things.

Monkeypoo · Post by **Monkeypoo** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:20 pm

**burn** wrote:I have had several friends receive drugs in their drinks at BM.

I was dosed at an event one time. Not pleasant.
It's a good idea to use bike bottles or bottles with lids
at BM or any event.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:56 pm

I don't think that the people on this thread are the problem, nor do I think that the vast majority of theme camps are the problem. I do think that a discussion of the issues can help, especially for first-timers. The level of discourse is likely to differ from camp to camp and person to person.

What we really hope for is that camps can assist in raising the issues, which can help to reduce tolerance of egregiously antisocial behavior. Every person can give assistance to people who need it, of course, but being a bit more aware about the potential need for it could be very beneficial.

IMHO, sexual predators are cowards at heart. They prey on those who are too high or too scared to object. It is precisely because they are generally cowards that putting up a united front can have an effect. I want them to be constantly aware that their intended targets are not isolated.

According to the afterburn reports, in 2008 there were 3 reported sexual assaults, which is down from 10 reported in 2007, which was up from 4 in 2006, which was down from 7 in 2005. There's no obvious trend. Although we feel reasonably sure that even more went unreported (based on US data), we don't know how many more. I do think that the numbers are higher than we want them to be.

The BED Challenge is phrased in a chatty manner, which can be appealing to some and less so to others. My own style has the flavor of technical writing, which can be downright soporific. It's quite difficult to find the happy medium.

The basic guidelines (not ironclad rules) remain valid. Be respectful, be aware, and try to protect those at risk. The key is to demand this level of social behavior from ourselves and others. Not because BED says so, or the BMorg says so, but because it's how we want the playa to be. Wild and sexy and fun, but not predatory.

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 6:18 pm

seems to me that every little bit helps.

this isn't the first time i've seen this subject on the eplaya, and i hope it won't be the last. i'm a virgin, and i think it's great to hear these warnings. posting this thread may help some poor fool noob like me.... and if that memo prompted it, it's probably worthwhile.

my .02

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:39 pm

I just want to say that having a camp mate involved in a sexual assault can rip a camp apart and leave scars.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:14 pm

I don't think that the people on this thread are the problem, nor do I think that the vast majority of theme camps are the problem.

Seriously, I'd contact any old timer Hee-Bee-Gee-Bee and ask how it was that the BR Rangers were able to nail a predator as quickly as they did.

Kinetik V · Post by **Kinetik V** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 9:43 pm

It's a shame that a powerful and much needed message is going to be lost because it was sent out in such a way that people consider the message to be spam. B.E.D. is a group that I've supported since the first time I ran into them on the playa. I love the work that they've done and I seriously hope this debacle doesn't set their mission back too far.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 10:01 pm

The BED Challenge message did not work as well as we had hoped, but I'm not sure it merits the term debacle. We're not so full of ourselves that we can't learn something from the reaction, though.

As for the HBGB episode, the BED folks have a pretty good understanding of what happened, although I won't go into details here. The two things that worked were prompt reporting by the offended parties and the picture file that HBGB keeps for anyone doing massage work. The BRC Rangers and LEOs did the right thing as well.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 11:07 am

The two things that worked were prompt reporting by the offended parties and the picture file that HBGB keeps for anyone doing massage work.

And that's the kind of unsolicited practical advice that I imagine some of the more formal camps might actually appreciate. It's the do-as-we-do email missives and preachy how/what-we-think-you-should-do-about-x, y, z sort of messages that frankly put sand in the crack of my sometimes libertarian leaning ass (note small 'l' libertarian). I imagine a camp like Gigsville is howling at such efforts. That or they're printing the email out in the form of toilet paper for their port-o-johns.

dr.placebo · Post by **dr.placebo** » Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:17 pm

BED does encourage prompt reporting. One reason to try to get theme camps involved is to get support for people to do that prompt reporting.

#6 If, god forbid, someone does get assaulted or feels threatened in any way, we want you to know right now that we support everyone here! No matter how it went down- tell us. There are amazing services available both at the Ranger Stations, Medical Tents and Emergency Services. We will go with you, we will hold your hand, we will take care of you. If some thing happens-- tell us! The same goes if some thing happens within our camp or outside of it. Remember, you are not alone!

I understand that the wording can be a problem for some. So find another way to discuss it.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:10 pm

In a theme camp, you will regularly get visitors who are 'out of it'. As a result of BED's efforts, everyone in our camp knows to watch out for folks in public areas who could be taken advantage of by 'creepers'. MANY times in the past, this information has come in handy. BED representatives have interceded in stalking situations, assisted those too messed up to know their own name, and plastered potties with info for the newbies. Thank you, BED!

Did anyone else get this theme camp spam?

Did anyone else get this theme camp spam?

stop him officer, he's got blisters on his fisters...

ya I got it...

Re: ya I got it...

I guess my point was...