The Death of Civilization

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:31 pm

In the year 476 AD, on September 4, the reigning Roman Emperor, young Romulus Augustulus, squirmed in his throne as the powerful barbarian chieftain Odoacer of the Herulians, approached his throne. The barbaric guards hired by Romulus did nothing as Odoacer seized the Emperor bodily and hurled him from his throne.

Said Odoacer: "It's good to be the king".

Odoacer was murdered and deposed by another barbarian not a year later.

Let's celebrate!

At 7:23 PM at 3:00 and Fossil, Barbarian Camp will offer rewards and recognition to the brave and strong who have attempted the complete Barbarian Challenge Obstacle Course and triumphed!

Ancient rhymes will be sung to honor the barbarian spirit that burns within us all! Our meeting will adjourn by 11 pm to make room for the Shiva Burn.

For all the works of cultured man
Must fare and fade and fall.
I am the Dark Barbarian
That towers over all.

Generic Anonymity · Post by **Generic Anonymity** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 1:51 pm

I may get some snark for this, but is it safe to assume that this is planned for Friday, as that will be September 4?

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:13 pm

Snarkity snark-snark! (Thank you for your interest!)

Yeah, Friday. Around sunset. Upon the surface of the playa.

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:40 pm

"Then and ONLY then you will receive a highly valuable trinket for your reward and a drink of whatever beverage we feel you deserve."

- quote from the The Barbarian Challenge

"Barbarians do not drink what others think they deserve, they take what they desire and pile high the dying bodies of those who dared to tell them no. What is this? It tastes like no mead I've ever drank."

"Uh ... I'm sorry, but we were all out of Mead, but I thought a nice Chardonnay would ..."

Nobody would ever know what a nice Chardonnay would do, for the bartender's head was now bouncing along the ground, baptising the cheering mob with a light spray of blood with each turn. "We may not have mead, but we shall at least have roast pork", the victor said, quickly stripping his victim bare. Severing limb from limb with a delicacy that one would not have imagined possible with a battleaxe, the savage tore the intestines out of the body cavity, whipping them across the face of the departed's weeping firstborn, until all of the excrement within had sprayed out in a chocolate colored mist turning the bereaved the color of a freshly plowed field. "See how they tremble before us? Surely this man had no sons", he laughed, as the eldest tried to get the waste out of his beard. "Who wants some bratwurst?", he yelled through foam speckled lips, over and over, as he chopped the meat off the bartender's buttocks into a fine mash, with which he stuffed large and small intestines alike, setting the sausages to cook over the burning remnants of the bar, before preparing the larger and tastier pieces of the carcass to bake over a hardwood fire.

"Gee, we thought Oregon would be friendlier than this", the bartender's daughter sniffled as she piled her father's crisply done remains high with sauerkraut. "But at least I do have the deflowering to look forward to. Would somebody pass the salt?"

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:51 pm

...the things I'll do for mead.

Y'all should have a stumble, too.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:51 pm

A Sumbel but not necessarily a stumble or even a bumble shall betide us that eve.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:43 pm

Ah, but it takes a civilization to distill mead.

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Sat Aug 08, 2009 11:45 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Ah, but it takes a civilization to distill mead.

Mead isn't distilled. It's fermented honey.

Jerome Templaugh · Post by **Jerome Templaugh** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 12:12 am

our "civilization" is fucking doomed...

we get what we deserve.

deal with it.

Jerome Templaugh · Post by **Jerome Templaugh** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 12:14 am

our "civilization" is fucking doomed...

we get what we deserve.

deal with it.

so nice i had to say it twice.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:30 am

Here and there wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:Ah, but it takes a civilization to distill mead.
Mead isn't distilled. It's fermented honey.

I know. I was suggesting it should be made into a liqueur. Of course, now that I think of it, maybe that's Berenjager.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 9:11 am

Mead is as old as the records that we have of brewing and drinking, around the world. It is known native Mexican cultures (Balche) as well as Ethiopian (tej). It is the gift of the invertebrates! It can be brewed accidentally by a gibbon if need be. Drink up!

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:17 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
Here and there wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:Ah, but it takes a civilization to distill mead.
Mead isn't distilled. It's fermented honey.
I know. I was suggesting it should be made into a liqueur.

That does sound good.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:50 pm

Actually, I'll have some ale.

And some poetry, and maybe some music.

If the people that first suggested mead would bring some, then we'll have a party.

Marscrumbs · Post by **Marscrumbs** » Sun Aug 09, 2009 5:02 pm

Unfortunately Pope Gregory knocked out eleven days out of the calender so the date is off but any excuse to drink mead.

The Death of Civilization

The Death of Civilization

Ah mead.