A modest proposal for "Critical Tits"

[theCryptofishist]

I hope it involves a goat and clothespins.

What kind of perversion can you get into with a goat and clothespins????

As always, the Boy Scouts of America are prepared with an answer:

Lyrics

Bill Grogan's Goat
Was feelin' fine
Ate three red shirts
Right off the line

Bill took a stick
Gave him a whack
And tied that goat
To the railroad track

The whislte blew!
The train...grew...nigh (dramatic stretch),
Bill Grogan's Goat
Was doomed to die

He heaved a sigh ,
Of...aw-ful...pain (dramaitic stretch)
Coughed up the shirts
And flagged the train!

[RedheadBarbie]

I would ask...What kind of perversion can't you get into with a goat and some clothespins?

[bacon]

They would not even let men into the after party, which they have now deemed a spiritual area??? In 7 years on the playa I have never even been angry however, this year some weasel dick got the best of me. The sacred guards of the CT after ceremony got my goat. They even tried, and failed to keep BLM out of the area!! (Their private party in the middle of the BLM area????)

I am over the CT, they seem to be man hating feminists, content to parade their tits among like types.....so this event can KMA and they can be topless in private.

[Ugly Dougly]

We're all naked under our clothes, you prevert.

[ScoutDG]

[quote="bacon"]They would not even let men into the after party, which they have now deemed a spiritual area??? In 7 years on the playa I have never even been angry however, this year some weasel dick got the best of me. The sacred guards of the CT after ceremony got my goat. They even tried, and failed to keep BLM out of the area!! (Their private party in the middle of the BLM area????)

I am over the CT, they seem to be man hating feminists, content to parade their tits among like types.....so this event can KMA and they can be topless in private.[/quote]

I understand feeling bad about not being invited to a party, but it's silly to conclude that the CT participants are "man hating feminists" because of not wanting us at their party. The chance that you could get that many women to agree on anything (including man-hating feminism) seems about 0.00001% to me.

If some husbands get together for a "guys night out" without inviting their wives, would you consider them "woman hating masculinists?"

I appreciate that this year their parade was indeed a parade -- they traversed the Esplanade before heading off to their own party. If at least 51% of the population is sacred, I'd guess that 100% is sacred, so maybe the other 49% could have our own party to celebrate our own sacredness. Nah -- if we're going to have a party, we want as many of the 51% there as we can possibly get.

[vargaso]

I agree if they want to have a private party they have that right, but this was out in the open playa, and as we were cruising by in our art car, we naturally stopped to see what was going on, and the men in the car (there were 3 men and 3 women, no cameras out) were told by a Ranger that if we wanted to stay there (in our art car in the open playa), then the men had to, and I quote, "Look the other way."

FUUUUUCK that. As I stated in another thread, it ain't empowerment if 50% of the population is excluded in such a way. Have your "sacred" gathering in a dome where the dirty evil eyes of men can't see you.

[brcprincess]

I have always wanted to join in the parade, but after speaking with some friends who did it, I don't think I will.

They felt intimidated by the jocks yelling comments and men videotaping and taking photos. Participaing had the reverse effect they were hoping for, instead of feeling proud and independent, they felt objectified and intimidated.

I wish that the parade was earlier in the week, say Tuesday or Wednesday when there are fewer jocks on the Playa. I imagine the vibe would be very different. I might even join in!

[Minxy]

[quote="brcprincess"]I have always wanted to join in the parade, but after speaking with some friends who did it, I don't think I will.

They felt intimidated by the jocks yelling comments and men videotaping and taking photos. Participaing had the reverse effect they were hoping for, instead of feeling proud and independent, they felt objectified and intimidated.

I wish that the parade was earlier in the week, say Tuesday or Wednesday when there are fewer jocks on the Playa. I imagine the vibe would be very different. I might even join in![/quote]

This is completely true for me as well.

I've been to Burning Man for several years now (yes, I know, I'm still a noob). I've never done Critical Tits until this year, at the request of a virgin Burner neighbor who wanted to go but wanted moral "girl" support.

I've run around our fair city, topless, bottomless, naked and covered in mud over years and thought nothing of it.

However, doing CT felt really slimy. Flame if you will, but it was CREEPY, IMO. I expected cameras. I have no problem being in background or foreground of any BRC photos; IMO it comes with being there.

But crap on a stick...

The whole parade was solidly lined with 95% men. Quite a few men were running in the middle of the street trying to "hand out stuff or stamp women with a BM logo" and getting lots of touches in. I was non-consensually touched this way personally. 'Get out of the fucking road, dude', I snarled.

I almost crashed and saw other women nearly wipe and actually wipe out due to men crowding the street/being in the middle of the street/waving their hands out into the flow of traffic.

There were TONS of cameras clicking madly away. Some fellows had big, professional type cameras covered in plastic except for a huge lens and they were tripoding it or kneeling down and just filming the whole thing. No attempt to participate, just film, film, film.

Granted, there were also men and women who stood and cheered and joined the spirit of the event, but on a whole it felt seriously icky and creepy to me.

I wasn't looking for a big celebrate my tits feeling or anything, but I certainly didn't expect the intense objectification and non-Burning Man feeling I got from participating in Critical Tits.

It was a bummer and I will definitely not participate in Critical Tits again. I'll just celebrate my body by riding around half naked, covered in purple faux fur or however pleases me like I usually do. :P