Happy Day After Halloween

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 12:50 pm

Today is the day to hit the temporary Halloween stores for Burning Man accessories before they shut down.

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:07 pm

No, today is the day to nurse hangovers and get something in one's stomach - including a mimosa or three..

Deb Prothero · Post by **Deb Prothero** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 1:09 pm

oh and happy Day of the Dead, too! The Mexicans celebrate this day so well.

RingO'Fire · Post by **RingO'Fire** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:11 pm

Isotopia wrote:No, today is the day to nurse hangovers and get something in one's stomach - including a mimosa or three..

I'm with Iso on this one. OMG, I've been recuperating all day. Boy o' boy do I have a story to tell though. Check this shit out.

First off, let me say that I LOVE Halloween - it's by far my favorite "Holiday." I usually put a lot of thought and work into my costume. This year, I decided early on that I was going to be an "old school" Oompa Loompa, one from the 1971 Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory movie, like this:

So, I assembled my costume from: women's polyester stretch pants, this brown & cream striped fabric from the fabric store, a brown t-shirt turned inside out, elastic bands, a costume bouffant-style wig spray-painted green, and cheap makeup from Wallyworld ($4 bronzer and a $1 white eyeliner pencil). Thursday night, I stayed up till 2 a.m. sewing my costume together. I felt like I had done a pretty good job and would make a pretty fucking awesome Oompa Loompa.

The plan for last night was essentially to bar- and party-hop all night, which is what Halloween is made for - IMO. As I arrived at my friends' house for the early evening "warm-up round", I received a phone call from Sara, a cute young hottie who I've been flirting with (I'd left her a message asking what she was doing for Halloween). As we were chatting, "Yeah we're planning on going to Bar A, and then to Bar B, and then to the house party, and then maybe we'll end up at Bar D." "Really? Well, were planning on going to... blah blah blah" you get the point.

Here's the interesting part of the conversation.
Me: "So, what are you dressing up as?"
Sara: "I'm going to be an Oompa Loompa!"
Me: "Get OUT of here! I'M dressing up as an Oompa Loompa too!"
Sara: "No WAY! Are you messing with me? Or are you really dressing up as an Oompa Loompa?"
Me: "I swear to God I'm an Oompa Loompa - I'm wearing my costume now!"

Now, like I said, I thought my costume was pretty fucking awesome, so, in my mind, I started feeling kind of sorry for Sara, thinking "Awww, poor Sara. She's going to be really sad when she beholds my awesome Loompa-ness. Her crappy little costume will probably look really sad next to mine. Oh well..."

Much to my surprise though, Sara starting talking some Oompa shit! "Steve, I'm really sorry, but... My Oompa Loompa costume is going to blow yours away! I'm really sorry that I'm going to have to kick your little Loompa ass! I hate it for ya, but my costume is probably WAY better than yours! I've worked really hard on it."

The Oompa gauntlet had been cast, to which I responded "Oh, really? Well, we'll see about that shit! I challenge you to a Loompa-off!!! And..., fair warning, I'm going to kick YOUR little Loompa ass!" Sara: "Alright then, we'll have us a Loompa-off! And the loser has to buy the next round of drinks!" And with that, it was ON!

So, I went bar-hopping with my friends while Sara bar-hopped with hers. We finally met up at a mutual friend's house party. We were both mutually blown away by the quality of each other's Oompa Loompa outfit. I have to say, I was very impressed with her costume. It was funny to see how each one of us had focused on different details of the Loompa garb. So, we decided that the Loompa-off was a tie, since both of our costumes were so good.

Sara said, "Steve, you've got to come back to Parkway Billiards with me! I've already been nominated for best costume in the costume contest! I just ran over here to the party to come meet you for the Loompa-off. We have to go back to Parkway and enter the contest together! The winner gets a $100 bar tab!" My response? "Fuck yeah! Let's go!" So, we stayed at the party just long enough to partake in the extracurricular activities and then were on our way.

I got there first. When I walked into the billiards hall, where I'm kind of a regular, it was packed out-the-ass with folks in costume, having a great time. It was funny to see people do double takes when they'd see me. At first, they'd glance over and you'd see them sort of half-register in their drunkenness 'uuuhhh... Oompa Loompa girl - check.' Then - the realization! (and the double take) 'Hey, wait a minute! That's a different Oompa Loompa! Holy shit! There's two of them!'

Sara arrived a few minutes later. Suddenly, we were celebrities! The toast of the bar! People wanted to have their pictures taken with us. It. was. awesome! I was in extrovert heaven! I was on my second round of two-fisted HighLife in one hand, Jack on the rocks in the other when the band (who are friends of mine too) called out "Hey! We're going to have the judging for the costume contest now! We need everybody up here who's a finalist in the costume contest." And they specifically said, "Where's the Oompa Loompa? Hey, we definately need to get the Oompa Loompa up here!"

Sara and I walked up on stage with the other finalists. Just about everyone in the bar was watching the costume judge-off. Whoever got the most audience applause would be the winner. As they started calling attention to people by costume, then waiting for the audience response ("Zombie Cheerleader!"........."Guitar Girl!"), Sara leaned over and whispered in my ear "when they call out our name, start doing the Oompa Loompa dance!"

I didn't mention this before, but I actually watched an Oompa Loompa compilation video on YouTube three times in a row, just to get my Loompa mannerisms down. Dance when they call out our names? Oh, you bet your little Loompa ass I will!

As they were running through the finalists, the pregnant zombie flight attendant girl standing next to us turned and said, "You guys have totally GOT this thing!" Then... "...and finally... THE OOMPA LOOMPAS!" Suddenly, the whole bar burst out cheering and clapping! Sara did the Oompa Loompa goose-step dance and I did the Oompa Loompa 'goalpost' twirl (still clutching both my drinks, of course).

We won! We won! We won! We won first place in the costume contest! It was just so... magical!

Still basking in the glow of our victgory, we split the $100 bar tab and used it to get our friends, and ourselves, even drunker than we already were. We felt SO fortunate, to both, independently of and unbeknownst to each other, dress up as Oompa Loompas, and then take first place in the costume contest, like it had been planned. So, of course, we HAD to share our good fortune with our friends.

We told everyone who complimented us on our costumes about our serendipitous stroke of luck. It just seemed... meant to be.

So, that was just last night. I got so fucking drunk last night that today I've felt like a leftover turd sandwich - all day long. You know what though? I don't care, because last night was probably the BEST HALLOWEEN EVER!

Let's see if I can "hot link" pics from Facebook, if not, I'll just make them hyperlinks:

First meeting of the Loompas - at the house party

At the bar, hamming it up before the contest.

Post-victory celebratory round of drinks.

The end of the night - I don't even know what to say about this pic.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:33 pm

that's a beautiful tale......*wipes tear from cheek*......it gives me hope for humanity........

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Sun Nov 01, 2009 7:47 pm

Sounds like an awesome night.

What's the story behind the suspender change? Two in the beginning to three near the end?

RingO'Fire · Post by **RingO'Fire** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:12 am

ygmir wrote:that's a beautiful tale......*wipes tear from cheek*......it gives me hope for humanity........

Hey, that's one small step for a man, one giant leap for Loompakind!

geospyder wrote:What's the story behind the suspender change? Two in the beginning to three near the end?

That was the shoulder strap of my little Loompa man-purse. The crappy polyester stretch pants that I used to make my Loompa jodhpurs only had two small front pockets. I knew I'd need more carrying capacity for my wallet, keys, phone, camera & flask, so I sewed together a costume-matching Oompa Loompa "man-purse." Hence the third "suspender."

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:22 am

hahahaaaa!

we zombied..............

DVD Burner · Post by **DVD Burner** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:48 am

Ah ha ha ha ha! Ring that is great!

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:00 am

Ahhhh the infamous man-purse. I am the man purse. My wife never carries a purse. Any ID she needs, for some reason always ends up in my pockets. I swear that the pockets on her clothes are just decorator items.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:19 am

ou may think that's witty, but it's weird how few pockets are in women's clothes. I think it "spoils" the view of their curves. No lumps, here have a spaghetti strap purse to hold you're money and id--all the better to steal it from you, my dear.

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:00 am

but .... bumpy things DO spoil the curves .... and not only on women, either! i never did understand why guys think a fat wallet looked good in the back pocket. fortunately, most guys i know with a really cute tush put their wallet in their shirt pocket ....

but then, that was back in the days when you could see a cute tush ... now the pants are way too loose, or belted blow the tush, or something....

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:48 am

I can no longer find even an ID holder thin enough.

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:01 am

Wedgie time!

Deb Prothero · Post by **Deb Prothero** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:11 am

Has anyone else noticed the walking stances used by these young men. They have to completely work against the natural rhythm of the human body just to keep their pants from falling down further. When they're forty they may regret that they can't walk anymore.

RingO'Fire · Post by **RingO'Fire** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 12:27 pm

Deb Prothero wrote:Has anyone else noticed the walking stances used by these young men. They have to completely work against the natural rhythm of the human body just to keep their pants from falling down further. When they're forty they may regret that they can't walk anymore.

It's funny, I didn't know there were that many African-American bluegrass fans. They ARE bluegrass fans, right? Why else would they be dressing like bluegrass legend Dave "Stringbean" Akeman?

I love it when, watching shows like "COPS", or "America's Dumbest Criminals", you see guys running from the cops, trying to hold their pants up, or in some cases, running right out of their pants.

Hmmm... Marketing idea! Hip-hip suspenders!

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 12:40 pm

I was joking about the wedgie but in reality that's the first thing you do before pat down. Pull the pants up tight. It displays obvious weapons.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:50 pm

I can't believe that modern pants are made to be worn like that. I also can't believe the longevity of the fad. Generations of boys looking like idiots whenever they leave the house.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 4:06 pm

Aren't those technically culottes?

Oldguy · Post by **Oldguy** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:46 pm

FWIW. hoodlums cycle in and out of the bighouse with little regard for changing fashion. Hoods get used to prison garb. Denims, cambrey shirts, and tennies without laces, and pants sans belt are prison issue. Some kids like to look like their older brothers or fathers, and transfer some street cred by their dress.

I discarded my prison issue almost immediately on release. For some ex-cons habits die hard, and for some cons the style is culturally important. I imagine some wannabes do not even know about the origins of the style, Or why new fish drop their drawers.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 5:51 pm

littleflower wrote:but .... bumpy things DO spoil the curves .... and not only on women, either! i never did understand why guys think a fat wallet looked good in the back pocket. fortunately, most guys i know with a really cute tush put their wallet in their shirt pocket ....

but then, that was back in the days when you could see a cute tush ... now the pants are way too loose, or belted blow the tush, or something....

I once commended loudly as I was walking into a restaurant, "Hey, I can see that guy's underwear!"

He started to pull up his pants over them. Like he was embarrassed too

His Underwear singular or plural?

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:29 pm

If I'm in a chase, that's what I want the other guy wearing.

Another part of that fashion is wearing your gun in your shorts.
Without steady maintenance, they rust solid.

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Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:44 am

geospyder wrote:I was joking about the wedgie but in reality that's the first thing you do before pat down. Pull the pants up tight. It displays obvious weapons.

Yeah, I know how that goes!

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:42 am

As I check out the post I'm thinking who is talking about Halloween this time of year? Surprise - it is a resurrection of a post I made last year. I bet if you yanked up his pants it would hurt.