Became Alcoholic in Burning Man, Became Sober in Burning Man

[discocrisco]

That is a story that rarely happens in our community. It is very easy for one to start their downward spiral towards addiction in community if you are not careful. Burning Man is one community that party hards and an active addiction can spiral downward towards hell.

I do not believe that most burners are active addicts or alcoholics. From my personal experience, most of them are normal people that only drink a lot at the Burn and some regional camping events. The obession to drink does not become daily part of their live.

For a person that has an active addiction or alcoholism, trying to keep pace with the Burners fuels that addiction and makes that person go on a downward spiral towards obivilion

Soon, you see the true addicts and alcoholics leave the scene because they began to drink in isolation. They cannot ma

Like to the events because they are too drunk/loaded to get in the car and drive 100 to 3000 miles to a regional event or the Burn itself.

Their lives become unmanageable and they become liablity to the everybody around them. Their addiction either leads to (i) the grave, (ii) a trip to the big house, or (iii) or the lucky few, permanent soberity. For those who get permanent soberity, few try to return to their old stomping grounds especially Burning Man.

For me, my trip to alcoholism began into the community. I wanted to drink to keep up with the jones. I could not use drugs because I word for the Feds but I could sure drink nobody else could. Every party and event was a chance to get drunk.

I was obessed with alcohol especially in Burning Man. I could never imagined how anybody do this dead sober and especially do Burning Man in recovery especially in early recovery. I drank at every events and took loads of stimulants (that were legally prescribed to me). Got drunk, passed out, blacked out. You know the story.

Later, like the drunk, I began to isolate. I never made to a lot of events during my last days in addiction. All I did was to be drunk and yell at loonies at the McCain/Palin rallies, trying to dream up how I was going to beat Gary Miller (my local Republican lawmaker) for Congress, or I am going to fix the California Prison Crises). Madness that the Doctor Gonzo himself would be proud of.

It ceased to be fun. I was looking for the solution. But I was afraid. I was afraid of what would happen to Burning Man if I quit. I thought that I would be socially rejected. I thought people would no longer like me because I am a pussie for not drinking I though men with true grit drinked. Little did I know that I was dead wrong, I mean dead wrong.

My best thinking brought the solution. My alcoholic thinking decided it was a cool thing to walk into work drunk. To drink the breakfast of champions right before working. It is normal in this community to drink the breakfast of champions when you are camping at the regional or at the Burn, but do it before going to work? WTF? What was mind thinking? It costs of loads of money go to BM and I need to job to afford the Burn. Why I was going to throw everything away that was precious for me for a morning drink? Yep, that is the insanity of this disease.

I drank out of being alone and for being different. I have autism which makes life lonely and tough to relate to the world. But I met the Burners and I found a community that I could relate to.

One day, I walk in drunk and that earned me trip to rehab. That was the end. I was going to rehab and I knew it was all over. The solution was here. I was saved from dying an alcoholic death. Many people died an alcoholic death. Not me.

I walked into the rooms and have never left. But the real support that I needed from the community. The people that supported me through thick and fin.

Unlike a lot of people, I did not find many friends in AA. The recovery was good but life was just bunch of endless meetings. Not for me. It would be a lonely recovery.

After getting some time, I returned to the community. I have remained sober for over a year. I have received tremendous support from the community. The friendship of the community has helped me remain sober. I was able to have fun again. I was able to rediscover spirituality. I found that spirituality did not require a God, but just a simple appreciation of nature, the universe, and the collective soul of mankind (I am agnostic).

Few people become addicted in our community, and than later experience a full recovery within the community especially in the first year. But it can be done. I discovered that others have do the same thing.


All you need is
*high frustration tolerance for other people using alcohol and drugs
* you use spirituality as your drug
* you do not feel jealous that other people get to drink and use
* you trying to connect to the vibe of the event and energy of the event through spirituality
* you have friends in the community that actively support your recovery and believe that your recovery makes you more useful to the community.

[Isotopia]

I discovered that others have do the same thing.

You're preaching.

Please stop.

[gyre]

I'm always surprized at how many people have never even had the thought that having fun without drinking was a possibility.

One day sitting around with a friend, talking and eating and laughing, he remarked that I was the first person he knew that he had fun with, without drinking.
Considering how smart he is and how esoteric our conversation became at times, I don't think we could have had the same kind of fun drinking, really.

This might not sound like that much of a revelation if he was seventeen and in high school, but he had traveled the world extensively, was ex-military and ex-spook.
Stratospheric iq, but hampered by dyslexia.
And the group I met him in was only drinking coffee, so...
It seems a lot of people miss this.

I think probably there have always been plenty of people that don't drink that much at burning man.

If you free yourself of limitations, what would alcohol be adding anyway?

[Simon of the Playa]

If you free yourself of limitations, what would alcohol be adding anyway?

that certain unabashed random chaos that bacchanales demand if not preserve by such wanton and fierce stupidity brought upon by the grape...

it would lose its FLAVA, baby...

you do what you wanna do.


and so will i.

[Deb Prothero]

Congratulations on taking the steps you needed to, discocrisco.

Use of alcohol certainly isn't needed to enjoy the big event or any of the regionals that I've been to. Social drinking does go on and sometimes to excess but it isn't necessary. I actually find that I don't want to drink much at the burn - I'm afraid I'll miss something.

Sure there's nothing like a cold drink on the playa but it doesn't have to contain alcohol. A friend introduced me to ice cold chai lattes at the burn and that tastes really great out there - much better than beer, I think.

Good luck with your recovery. There's all kinds of support in the community for being self-reliant and self-aware.

[gyre]

Don't underestimate me and my considered stupidity.

[lambert13]

you do what you wanna do.


and so will i.

That's the approach I take.

I am 13 (lucky13) years clean right now (drugs were my vice, not alcohol) and have no doubt I can have fun at Burning Man. Hell, I can have fun in a laundromat staring at the port hole in the washer and making up a song to the rhythm the machine makes.

I don't avoid people who are drinking or doing drugs. They are a lot of fun to hang out with too. I just don't participate in getting bent anymore. That does not mean that others shouldn't or that I can't hang out with them.

99.999% of the time in real life I never even bring my recovery up. Mostly because it's not a big issue for me. I just don't drink or do drugs anymore. I don't want to influence what other people do because of what I don't do. You want to party and drink till you're seeing triple? Knock yourself out. I'll still hang with you and make sure you get home (or back to your camp) safe and sound.

[ygmir]

good for you, and, good attitude.
thanks for sharing that.

[oneeyeddick]

Swing by the Booby Bar, we will make you an alcoholic again.

And you will thank us later.

[scotto]

DiscoCrisco,

Awesome post, thanks for sharing!!! It has been a pleasure & honor to be part of your Burner Community and to be part of your recovery. You know you always have a home with PolyParadise on the Playa.

Stay Sane & Sober my friend!!!

Scotto

[Ugly Dougly]

* you use spirituality as your drug

Can't beat it.

[lonestoner916]

Spirituality as a drug??? No way man, I never touch the stuff! WAY too easy to get hooked or O.D.

[Elorrum]

Congratulations on an essential decision that works for you discocrisco. Don't let anyone unmake that decision for you, and do whatever it takes cause it takes what it takes right? I put the stuff down 15 yrs ago, and agree with lambert that everyone do what they want and wtf. After a while, it's not the heavy vigilance mindset, the righteous feeling dissipates, and you feel safe and confident enough to be around things you don't do anymore. Some disagree on this, but they would say not to go to Burning Man, and fooey on them. It's easy to part ways with folks there when you get uncomfortable. no biggie. I think my burning man bumper sticker would say, "got stimulation?" Man that place is so much, so much. I appreciate what it might be like with more on board, but it's frickin' amazing as it is. and it's clear to me what my options are. Don't fuck with a streak.

[ibdave]

<<<<<<<<<<<<----- doing burning man sober for 12 years and life for 23 years... Make sure to look the Hokey Pokey camp and get your chip while your there... Very Special for me....