Weird Entries To Your Resume'

robotland · Post by **robotland** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 7:22 pm

...My latest:

"Restored large, vintage mirror ball".

Okay, let's hear 'em....

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:37 pm

"several years experience w/flamethrowing penises"

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:47 pm

especially adapt at digging Playa bOOgers out of my nose..

dragonfly Jafe · Post by **dragonfly Jafe** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:09 pm

Winner of 2007 Fascist Fashion Show "Best Male Cross Dressing Border Guard"

winebuff · Post by **winebuff** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:48 pm

Virgin, waiting for my cherry to be dusted off

Deb Prothero · Post by **Deb Prothero** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:57 pm

Changed the rules at the Canadian/American borders.

In every border city now, the local Canadian food bank goes to gather the food that has been confiscated by American Agricultural Quality Inspectors from Canadians who pack their campers with food before heading south.

It happened to me going to my first burn in '05 and instead of proceeding across the bridge I returned to Canada, gave about $75 of food to the food bank and then crossed the bridge, paid another bridge toll and went in for another inspection. When I returned from the burn that year, I went to see the mayor of Sarnia, who was a high school friend. Together we set it up in his city for the food bank to gather that food at the bridge, and then we did it for every border city in Canada. Fuck you, border patrol.

klondike_bar · Post by **klondike_bar** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:55 am

^awesome job deb!

my favorite: "employed by cirque du soleil" this summer.

It may not seem THAT wacky, but it tends to stand out on a nuclear engineer's resume.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:08 am

You could just simply say "works well with poles".

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:11 am

and, how disappointing would that be if the boss is German?.........or Czech?

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:53 am

experienced flaneuse

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:05 am

Built Giant Boobies, ya thats a real job getter!

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 9:15 am

Just a couple of History channel episodes.

And I am no longer infected.

flatlander13 · Post by **flatlander13** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 12:13 pm

Watched woman poop in a bucket.

Can checkout boobs without actually looking at them.

Can openly make fun of people who are standing right in front of you without their knowledge.

Can cheerfully greet people in a complete whiteout.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 1:06 pm

Migrant Farm Worker in New Mexico (onions)
Carnie (CA and TX)
U.S. Army Supply and Logistics Specialist (98-99, Ft. Jackson, Ft. Lee, Ft. Benning)
Helped construct 40' Ketchup bottle ( BM 2008)
Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Salesman (for one day in 2002)

RingO'Fire · Post by **RingO'Fire** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:27 am

Nude Figure Model 1984-85

In the summer of 1984 I was living on a 90-acre yoga ashram in NY state, about an hour and a half or so from The City. People (clients/customers/rubes) used to come up from The City and spend anywhere from a weekend to a week or so attending yoga workshops, meditation retreats, art therapy workshops, etc.

One day, I'm standing in the lunch line at the cafeteria, when the woman that taught the art therapy workshops says to me, "You've got a nice body ; would you like to model for my drawing class?" Naturally, I was flattered, "Sure! I'd love to! Oh, hey, wait, what should I wear?" Her puzzled response, "Wear?" That's when the little light bulb lit up, "Ooohhhh.... THAT kind of 'modeling' " She asked if I was still interested, and I thought, "Eh, why not?"

So, the next day, I modeled for her drawing class. There was this beautiful, slightly older than me [she was 31] Egyptian woman in the class that had just arrived the day before. I had scoped her out as soon as she got there. Apparently, the attraction was mutual. After the modeling session, she came up to me, "Hi! I'm Michelle. You have a very attractive body. Blah blah blah. Do you know if there's anywhere nearby where we can go swimming?"

Since I'd lived there the previous summer too, I knew there was a private lake about a mile away. We met up shortly afterward and hiked on over to the little private lake. I excused myself to go step into the woods and don my bathing suit, when she said. "Oh, I forgot my bathing suit" My initial thought was, "Dang, stupid bitch; who goes swimming and forgets to bring their bathing suit?"

Then, the little light bulb lit up again [it wasn't all that bright at the time, as you can tell], "Oooohhh... she 'forgot' her bathing suit. Cool! It's on!" After our skinny-dipping session, one thing lead to another [wink wink], and... We were pretty much inseparable for the next three days. When she had to leave, she invited me to come spend a week with her in The City.

Of course, I dropped everything and went and spent that week with her hanging out in The City. I'd go out exploring in the daytime while she was at work. Then we'd hang out and explore together at night. After those steamy 10 days or so, I never saw her again. Still, it was an awesome, eye-opening fling for a 22-year old from suburban Tennessee.

When I got back to Tennessee, I thought, "This modeling thing is easy money." So, I went to the art department at UT-Chattanooga and volunteered my services. I made about $8 per hour, which was not bad for an unskilled job back in 1984.

There's only one other story related to my brief nude modeling career. One day, I was in my robe, getting ready to pose, when who walks in - to my horror - but my neighbor. This woman lived three house down the street and was friends with my mom! I had babysat for her children! She was also an art teacher in the public school system and had raised two boys as well. She said, "Don't worry about it Steve. I've seen it all before." It was a little embarassing, but, hey, it paid eight bucks an hour...

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 11:55 am

Poked countless people with needles.
Electrocuted more then my fair share.
Pushed drugs on people, sometimes without their knowledge

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 3:26 pm

Giggled loudly in the presence of national leaders.

(Was once walking behind Jean Kirkpatrick and Casper Weinberger in a hallway ... and giggled ... loudly. She seemed like she was 4 feet taller than him and the way she had to peer down at him just seemed so funny at the time).

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 4:09 pm

like to go upstairs bouncy bouncy

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:23 pm

Worked for Clyde Beatty-Cole Bros. Circus for three days in 1972. Someone stole all my underwear. Didn't stick around to get paid.

Post by **AntiM** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:26 pm

I'm still amazed the Navy allowed me to maintain and repair multi-million dollar systems vital to national security and world peace. And that I was good at it.