What's the worst sexual thing you've ever done?

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 11:54 am

Fire_Moose wrote:BTW lonestoner, have you read Choke?

good book based around a sex addict

Of course I've read it, I have never laughed so hard while reading a book in my life! Love me some Chuck Palahniuk!

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:42 pm

true dat...although i gotta say that Survivor is his best

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 12:43 pm

Check out his forums.
Very strange.
Or maybe not, if you've read his stuff.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:06 pm

Oral Roberts died, he was 91.

Said he saw a 900-foot-tall Jesus in the Black Rock Desert.

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 4:46 pm

Juggling a plane?

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 5:45 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:Oral Roberts died, he was 91.

Said he saw a 900-foot-tall Jesus in the Black Rock Desert.

Unless he contracted a nasty case of VD from the giant Jesus, wouldn't that information be better off in the R.I.P. thread?

Post by **AntiM** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:16 pm

[youtube][/youtube]

Pass the Butter....

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:44 am

Jesus received Oral?!?! Awesome.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:23 am

AntiM wrote:[youtube][/youtube]

Pass the Butter....

Christ on toast, that's funny!

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:30 am

[youtube][/youtube]

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:40 am

hahhahahaahaa

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:13 pm

Poor Tiger...
Seriously though, his wife is hotter than any of his alleged mistresses, I don't understand his reasoning. Still, I say poor Tiger because he was just some average joe and not the greates golfer in the world, nobody would give a shit that he cheated on his wife. Why do people think that because someone is famous that somehow voids their right to privacy?

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:21 pm

That is the exact definition of famous.

But he isn't just famous by misfortune.
He has been making most of his money off of fame and by increasing and using it, not from golf.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:25 pm

By the way, people in sweden are really pissed at him.
No one really cares here.

And nike is betting sports morons will keep buying stuff he markets.

You might want to feel sorry for the other less flashy golfers that are losing a fortune because he isn't playing now.

Oldguy · Post by **Oldguy** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:15 pm

Anyone seen the Gregory Peck movie " The Millionaire." I saw it on "THIS" Movie channel. It was about an unknown stranger getting a million pound note from two British aristcrats with the instuction to display but not spend it. The two clubmen wagered whether the man would be changed for good or ill with wealth and the attention of others. After a period of time he was to return it for a reward.

A man's character, it was revealed, is the true measure of his happiness; not the opinion of others or the expectations of others. The man obtained tailored clothing, lodging, finance opportunity, and companionship based solely on the sycophantic expectations of hangers-on. But what the man found out was that the love of a woman who expected no monetary reward, who loved him for his character was the greatest benefit.

Another movie providing the same lesson was Eddie Murphy's, "Trading Places". Wealth and fame might change a man for good or ill, but his character is his true reward. Can this nation relearn this in the light of recent public scandels? Perhaps we are ready for another remake of this philosopy in the media.

____________
Edited for spelling.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:19 pm

*wondering what the name of this thread is.............*

Oldguy · Post by **Oldguy** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 9:38 pm

I suppose it would depend on if a person was a syco, a psyco, a sicko, or a sucko. What is your perversion? Stated in the most Socratic manner as I can muster.

I am a celibate, some find that frightening and very wrong. I have no children and no family. My reasons are my own, and they are very good. My abstainence, and it's reasons are none of your fucking business. Now fuck off, in the most Burner of ways, of course.

"What the fuck did I just drink?"- Socrates

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:17 am

Prevert.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:08 am

I had sex with my ex wife out there. FUCK! And was HER idea!

knowmad · Post by **knowmad** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 12:11 am

ok while in the Navy...
One of my ship mates is this total pervo/deuschbag who likes to fuck with people. annyhoo he'd been jerking off in to this baby food jar for like four or five days so it was pretty much full. He'd show it around and shove it in peoples faces, real dirt bag. well having been at sea for a while and was about to have a few days in Cape Canaveral, he kept threating me that he was going wait until I was drunk and get me to drink that jizz. It's really freaking me the fuck out, one of the older crew member has pity on me and pulls me aside and tells me not to sweat it, the jar is not really full of cretin-cream, bur really just some gelatin from the mess decks mixed with a bit of cornstarch (Seaman deushbag was currently working Kitchen-patrol) So armed with that knowledge I just endured the heckling and moved on. Well as any good sailor in port I tie a few on and am pretty hosed when we return to the boat, It's just about time for lights and bunch of us are are standing around comparing how close we had gotten to getting laid that night and dude starts in on me with the whole jizz-in-a-jar thing again, I think ok fine lets play this along and let the fuck head have his laugh, so I grab the jar, no hesitation and Gulp, Gulp ,Gulllllwhatthefuck!!!itShouldn'tTasteSalty!!
They said they could hear me screaming and barfing and beating the ever living fuck out of Seaman Semen all the way down on the pier. He swore up and down that he had heard I had been told about his prank and decided to add some salt to the mixture, for "realism". but he was scared, he knew I'd have revenge. and a month or so latter one night as he's coming back from drinking, the ships corpsman and I drag him all passed the fuck out down to his rack and I put some Mayonnaise on to the end of a carrot rap it in a condom and shoved that carrot about a full foot up into his guts leaving a nice greasy end hanging out. We then dumped him butt nekked and without a blanket face down on his rack.
The look on his face at revile when he pulled that condom out of his ass in front of half the crew was worth waking up 15min early.
Bubbleheads are some sick mothafuckers

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:03 am

now, that's a show-stopper..........

*hearing the sounds of dripping water in the recesses of a dark cave (thread)*

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:05 pm

The US Navy is a fine place for freaks of every type.

One of my ship mates got a hot dog, stuck it in his fly and walked around the ship with a big grin on his face, until we figured out what was wrong with that picture.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:14 pm

Dougly:
don't you dare tell us how you figured out what was wrong...........it'll ruin my macho image of you, I'm sure......

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:17 pm

I had to ask my gay friends if it was supposed to say "Oscar Meyer" on the side.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:21 pm

you had to bring Oscar Meyer into it, didn't you......

(laments the historical, poignant, sight of those "of the body" singing OMWs)

well at least it was that, and, not a flavor or texture clue.

Post by **mdmf007** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 5:06 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:The US Navy is a fine place for freaks of every type.

One of my ship mates got a hot dog, stuck it in his fly and walked around the ship with a big grin on his face, until we figured out what was wrong with that picture.

What happens at sea stays at sea - Till Now.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:25 pm

mdmf007 wrote:
Ugly Dougly wrote:The US Navy is a fine place for freaks of every type.

One of my ship mates got a hot dog, stuck it in his fly and walked around the ship with a big grin on his face, until we figured out what was wrong with that picture.
What happens at sea stays at sea - Till Now.

are you back, with tales to tell?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:46 pm

ygmir wrote:
mdmf007 wrote:
Ugly Dougly wrote:The US Navy is a fine place for freaks of every type.

One of my ship mates got a hot dog, stuck it in his fly and walked around the ship with a big grin on his face, until we figured out what was wrong with that picture.
What happens at sea stays at sea - Till Now.

are you back, with tales to tell?

That's right, keep him occuppied so we can post in his thread and he won't notice.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:11 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
ygmir wrote:
mdmf007 wrote: What happens at sea stays at sea - Till Now.

are you back, with tales to tell?
That's right, keep him occuppied so we can post in his thread and he won't notice.

ssssshhhhhhhhuuussssshhhhh...............

Deb Prothero · Post by **Deb Prothero** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 9:33 am

Looking forward to the naughty tales from mdmf007

What's the worst sexual thing you've ever done?

Whats long hard black and full of seamen?