New to Burning Man---want to bring my toddler

MamaKat · Post by **MamaKat** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:01 am

I had a ticket for Burning Man in 2005 but found out I was pregnant a month before....so had to miss out on what would have been my first time.
My son will be 4 this year and I really want to experience this with him. I am hoping to connect with other parents who would like to bring younger children---maybe those who have been before and have some advice?

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:00 am

You'll find other people who support this, including a camp called Kidsville.
Bringing kids to Burning Man is a hotly contested topic here. It's officially allowed by the event, so you can do it.
I'm on the "extremely against it" side of the fence for reasons other than moral or child-safety.
Burning Man has had to tone down and become more "PC" and "safe", and lose a lot of it's identity and personality, because of people bringing minors. The cops and other powers-that-be don't want kids being exposed to various things, forcing the rest of us to comply.
I personally don't care how you raise your kid. I personally don't think Burning Man will harm your kid. But your kid will harm Burning Man.

Token · Post by **Token** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:35 am

Hi MamaKat,

Welcome to Eplaya!

Though the good Captain is correct about this being an emotional issue for some, the good news is that the Burning Man organization welcomes all ages to the event, with no reservations. Even grumpy old guys are welcome; go figure.

I personally love children at Burning Man. The more the better.

Best bet is to get involved with KidsVille:

http://blackrockkids.org

Their Yahoo group is the best way to make contact.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KidsCamp/

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:41 am

Captain Goddammit wrote:You'll find other people who support this, including a camp called Kidsville.
Bringing kids to Burning Man is a hotly contested topic here. It's officially allowed by the event, so you can do it.
I'm on the "extremely against it" side of the fence for reasons other than moral or child-safety.
Burning Man has had to tone down and become more "PC" and "safe", and lose a lot of it's identity and personality, because of people bringing minors. The cops and other powers-that-be don't want kids being exposed to various things, forcing the rest of us to comply.
I personally don't care how you raise your kid. I personally don't think Burning Man will harm your kid. But your kid will harm Burning Man.

*stands behind CG, raising hand and nodding*

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 9:04 am

I am of the "you can do what you want" camp as well, but I happen to be in complete agreement with the good Captain. I would never consider bringing either of my daughters when they were young (and make no mistake about it, they have always wanted to go and will be 14 and 16 when the man burns in 2010 and they still will not be allowed to attend). As an adult you can make informed choices, but my attitude, which I realize is not universally shared, is that they grow up fast enough as it is. Good luck with your decision.

klondike_bar · Post by **klondike_bar** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:46 am

I do agree with CG, but it is really a mixed hat.

i watched several small children having a blast in center camp and on the darwin slide (amazingly evolution favors kids over drugged-out burners), yet i did feel that they were a bit young for the playa, and couldnt really cope as individuals.

on the other hand, i met a few 8-12 yr olds who seemed to grasp the concept, and as a result appeared fairly mature for thier age.

on the whole though, id say 10 and under is a no-no. youll be stuck worrying and babysitting most of your "holiday"

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:48 am

Children can't ruin Burning Man any more than immature adults.

mojo · Post by **mojo** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 11:21 am

Yep, I'm one of the minority that agrees with Doc and the Captain. My sons were not invited until they were both in college. If you do bring your little one, please keep in mind that it makes many of us uncomfortable to have kids come in to our camps to visit. Although we will always be welcoming and kind, we may also be somewhat resentful. I'm grateful to kidsville for providing a space that is somewhat more protected from the otherwise inevitable exposure to the over-sexualized and provocative atmosphere that is a part of the fabric of the festival.

In short, if there is a young child in my camp, I feel responsible to monitor the appropriateness of what that child may be exposed to while in my camp, whether it is foul language from campmates or a random naked tranny buzzing through the shade structure on a go-ped. Yes, I know that is the parents job, and I respect the parents that insist that all this exposure is a good educational tool, etc..... I guess I am just part of the old school that would rather have my child telling teachers and friends about Mickey and Goofy rather than the big naked person who has both hoo-ha's and a wahoo.

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:03 pm

Both of my daughters have expressed an interest in attending in 2010. The youngest might actually do it. But I really have no say since she will be 39. But to be serious I agree with CG and Doc. Not even thinking of your child, think of what effect it will have your experience. Your freedom of expression will definitely be curtailed having to be responsible for your child.

phil · Post by **phil** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:38 pm

Bring 'em on. If you want to connect with other parents, kidsville is your camp of choice. Check these sites for helpful information:

http://blackrockkids.org/
http://tribes.tribe.net/kidsville

It's a decision you get to make and live with. I see kids from strollers on up to pushing adulthood at the Burns. Having an open mind on what they see is admirable in my opinion.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:39 pm

IMHO, you should go and experience BM as an unencumbered, self-reliant adult first, then you'd be able to make an informed, educated decision about taking your toddler... no matter how much research and preparation you do prior to your first trip to BRC, you won't actually 'understand' or 'get it' until you've been there...

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:02 pm

gaminwench wrote:IMHO, you should go and experience BM as an unencumbered, self-reliant adult first, then you'd be able to make an informed, educated decision about taking your toddler... no matter how much research and preparation you do prior to your first trip to BRC, you won't actually 'understand' or 'get it' until you've been there...

My sentiments exactly! Perhaps because of my unusual and liberal upbringing, I don't feel that kids have a negative effect on the event, but because I'm a selfish bastard I wouldn't bring my kid to the desert because then I'd have to act accordingly. Sure, they might see some naked people, (Oh no!) or a drugged out raver or hippie, and they'll certainly see plenty of alcohol consumption, but they'll also see a lot of really cool art and mutant vehicles, and costumed adults acting like kids. So what if your child catches a glimpse of that random tranny, just explain to them about all the different kinds of people there are in the world.

bm_cricket · Post by **bm_cricket** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:02 pm

gaminwench wrote:IMHO, you should go and experience BM as an unencumbered, self-reliant adult first, then you'd be able to make an informed, educated decision about taking your toddler... no matter how much research and preparation you do prior to your first trip to BRC, you won't actually 'understand' or 'get it' until you've been there...

This is a great point and one that many people have overlooked. It is really up to you if you bring them but I assure you that on your first trip out there you have no idea what awaits you. Every story you've heard is wrong and every picture is fake. Go as an independent adult and then decide if you want to expose (or share) the experience with a child.

Go without them this year, meet up with other parents on-playa, then decide for next year.

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 8:09 pm

for basics. will he/she wear goggles? will he/she wear a face mask or bandanna? I've seen a mother struggle in a dust storm with a child who simply would not wear either. not good.

Tiahaar · Post by **Tiahaar** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 10:04 pm

mojo wrote: the big naked person who has both hoo-ha's and a wahoo.

Mojo that's classic!!! heeeheeehee

ahem. For the OP: If you have not yet been to our fair playa event, as implied, then yup go first THEN revisit the bring-the-kiddie idea, being sure to hang out at Kiddsville a while. Or do you drive a Range Rover? If you're one of those who has to experience everything with child by your side, you might do fine...you need to know first however if your child will do fine. I've seen some desert-savvy youngsters out there I wish I could've been like at that age, and I'll betcha they camp and do outdoorsy stuff year-round. That's what makes the difference. Oddly, as I think back on it now, there's the occasional 1-12-ish year olds running around, then it jumps to the 18+ to twenties crowd, with very few in-between it seems? Personally its the creepy pervy older ugly guys ogling hoo-ha's and wahoo's that I could most do without.

Bob · Post by **Bob** » Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:21 am

Oh, and have you ever camped anywhere else in your life? With a four-year-old? In the desert?

Mister Jellyfish Mister · Post by **Mister Jellyfish Mister** » Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:26 am

gaminwench wrote:IMHO, you should go and experience BM as an unencumbered, self-reliant adult first, then you'd be able to make an informed, educated decision about taking your toddler... no matter how much research and preparation you do prior to your first trip to BRC, you won't actually 'understand' or 'get it' until you've been there...

Best yet. I fully agree.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:36 am

Best advice you'll ever get!!!

"go first without child!!!!!"

I would almost say, if we had a rule, that should be it!

I also bring my daughter. But no, she didnt come with me on my first experience.
She'll be 17 by the time we get there again this yr.

She was 14 her first, went 2 yrs then grades got in the way of her 3rd burn.
She will be 17 this burn...lets see if she makes it.

Her not going in 2009 was miserable, for her and us. Just didnt seem right not having her there...but to each their own!

BTW, My daughter also lives the life of a burner, she is in a fire conclave. She is around burners 24/7. So this is not some strange "open a door, be thrown in blind and the light suddenly go on."

You have to think about whats going to be a shock to your kid.
At 4, not much I would say, but the severe weather changes....really might effect the whole kit and kaboodle!

If you havent been yet, I would say you would be doing a great disservice to yourself and your child by not researching it first alone.

GO as an adult your first year, so you truly have all the information a responsible parent should have!

Or dont...then regret the whole show.....hmmmm Hopefully you will REALLY consider what your about to do, and not do it!

pretty expensive whoopsy!

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Tue Dec 22, 2009 8:37 am

ygmir wrote:
Captain Goddammit wrote:You'll find other people who support this, including a camp called Kidsville.
Bringing kids to Burning Man is a hotly contested topic here. It's officially allowed by the event, so you can do it.
I'm on the "extremely against it" side of the fence for reasons other than moral or child-safety.
Burning Man has had to tone down and become more "PC" and "safe", and lose a lot of it's identity and personality, because of people bringing minors. The cops and other powers-that-be don't want kids being exposed to various things, forcing the rest of us to comply.
I personally don't care how you raise your kid. I personally don't think Burning Man will harm your kid. But your kid will harm Burning Man.
*stands behind CG, raising hand and nodding*

Hey MamaKat, greetings from a Kidsvillian. As you can see, many for and against jr burners. Before you bring your child, make sure you know exactly what you are getting into. Plan and prepare accordingly. Look at your child and see if their personality would tolerate a wk in the desert. Do they enjoy playing outside, don't mind getting dirty, like setting fire to their toys? Then they may fit in at the burn quite well

On the other hand, if they are little whining spawns of satan then maybe they wouldnt be a good fit

What is your experience camping? Extreme environments? Easily discouraged? The burn can be tough. I saw one family struggle to set up their camp during the Monday dust-storm in 08, only to end up bailing out, and missing a beautiful week.

Kidsville is great, lots of like minded families, plenty of other kids for your's to play with. Feel free to pm me with specific questions. You've also been given links to the yahoo group where any ? or concern you could have can be answered.

Making sure your kid stays hydrated, eats reg. and is willing to wear goggles and a dust mask is paramount, so try it out before hand. If they throw a fit wearing goggles now, it will be way worse on the playa.

Welcome.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:20 pm

Let's not forget "Burning Dog", built by kids at the first burning man. If a kid makes you uncomfortable, coming into your camp, be adult about it and be respectful...the same as if a Washoe County Sheriff walked into your camp.