The Non-Political Happy Thread
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Rob the Wop
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The Non-Political Happy Thread
Just trying to offset all the political BS by showing another side of our country's leader. Feel free to contribute other Uncle Dubya stories. But NO POLITICS.
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]
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Rob the Wop
- Posts: 1814
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 4:06 pm
- Location: Furbackistan, OR
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The magic seeds.
Uncle Dubya woke up in his big, comfy bed. It was big and soft and fluffy, so Uncle Dubya didn't want to leave his big, comfy bed.
But then he remembered that it was the day to plant the seeds for the yellow flowers.
Uncle Dubya LIKED the big yellow flowers!
So Uncle Dubya pulled on his big boy pants, grabbed his garden play tools, and tip toed across the halls to the back door.
He was being very, very quiet because he didn't want mean old Cheney to make him lead the free world again.
He opened the back door and WHOOSSHH- out into the butterflies and the bunnies! Yay!!
He put down his little watering can down. He pulled his little garden spade out of his special bag.
He made little, bitty holes to put the seeds in- just like his daddy showed him too.
He skipped back over to his special bag. At first he couldn't find his magic seeds, and this made him very sad. He liked big yellow flowers.
Then he found the seeds hiding underneath the Constitution. Yay!
Uncle Dubya wondered why he carried that thing around if it was going to just hide his magic seeds.
He skipped back to the little holes he dug for his magic seeds. He noticed a big white fluffy bunny sniffing at the holes.
"Hi Mister Bunny!" said Uncle Dubya. And then he frowned.
Uncle Dubya LOVED Mister Bunny and could spend all day petting and loving Mister Bunny.
But now he wanted to dump the magic seeds on the ground so he could count them before putting them in the holes.
He was afraid Mister Bunny would eat the magic seeds. This would mean no big yellow flowers, and this would make Uncle Dubya very sad.
"No Mister Bunny!" shouted Uncle Dubya, "You can't eat my magic seeds!"
This startled Mister Bunny and that made Mister Bunny hop off into the bushes.
Uncle Dubya felt bad for scaring Mister Bunny, but he had to plant the magic seeds so that the big yellow flowers would grow.
He placed two little seeds in each little hole. He then put a little bit of dirt on top of the seeds. YAY!
Uncle Dubya then skipped over to his little watering can. It was empty!
He picked up his can and started to skip to the water faucet. But then he spied Mister Kitty!.
Uncle Dubya loved the fluffy Mister Kitten and he knew Mister Kitty loved him too.
Uncle Dubya needed to get the water for the magic seeds. What to do, what to do?
"I'll just pet Mister Kitty for a little while, and then I'll water the magic seeds," thought Uncle Dubya.
While Uncle Dubya was petting Mister Kitty, mean old Rumsfield and Powell walked up to him.
"Mr. President," said mean old Rumsfield, "the insurgents have taken Fallujuh. We are hesitant over sending troops into a holy city as this may spark a Muslim political retaliation and put many innocent civilian lives at risk."
"Your big words make my thinking go hurt." said Uncle Dubya. He then looked at Mister Kitty and said, "Make the bad men go away!"
"Absolutely Mr. President," said mean old Rumsfield, "While I don't agree with your military stance entirely, I will see that an assault on Fallujuh begins immediately."
Then the bad men left and Uncle Dubya petted Mister Kitty until he felt better.
He put Mister Kitty down and skipped happily into the White House to find some milk and cookies. The magic seeds forgotten.
Two secret security agents then came out of the bushes. One looked at the other and said, "Not sure why he was trying to push Prozac into the sidewalk, but its about time we got rid of the dead cat."
Next week: Alan Greenspan determines a valid plan to bolster a bearish stock market leveraging off a possible returning of consumer confidence in the Japanese economy, while Uncle Dubya kisses a girl like Uncle Clinton showed him to.
But then he remembered that it was the day to plant the seeds for the yellow flowers.
Uncle Dubya LIKED the big yellow flowers!
So Uncle Dubya pulled on his big boy pants, grabbed his garden play tools, and tip toed across the halls to the back door.
He was being very, very quiet because he didn't want mean old Cheney to make him lead the free world again.
He opened the back door and WHOOSSHH- out into the butterflies and the bunnies! Yay!!
He put down his little watering can down. He pulled his little garden spade out of his special bag.
He made little, bitty holes to put the seeds in- just like his daddy showed him too.
He skipped back over to his special bag. At first he couldn't find his magic seeds, and this made him very sad. He liked big yellow flowers.
Then he found the seeds hiding underneath the Constitution. Yay!
Uncle Dubya wondered why he carried that thing around if it was going to just hide his magic seeds.
He skipped back to the little holes he dug for his magic seeds. He noticed a big white fluffy bunny sniffing at the holes.
"Hi Mister Bunny!" said Uncle Dubya. And then he frowned.
Uncle Dubya LOVED Mister Bunny and could spend all day petting and loving Mister Bunny.
But now he wanted to dump the magic seeds on the ground so he could count them before putting them in the holes.
He was afraid Mister Bunny would eat the magic seeds. This would mean no big yellow flowers, and this would make Uncle Dubya very sad.
"No Mister Bunny!" shouted Uncle Dubya, "You can't eat my magic seeds!"
This startled Mister Bunny and that made Mister Bunny hop off into the bushes.
Uncle Dubya felt bad for scaring Mister Bunny, but he had to plant the magic seeds so that the big yellow flowers would grow.
He placed two little seeds in each little hole. He then put a little bit of dirt on top of the seeds. YAY!
Uncle Dubya then skipped over to his little watering can. It was empty!
He picked up his can and started to skip to the water faucet. But then he spied Mister Kitty!.
Uncle Dubya loved the fluffy Mister Kitten and he knew Mister Kitty loved him too.
Uncle Dubya needed to get the water for the magic seeds. What to do, what to do?
"I'll just pet Mister Kitty for a little while, and then I'll water the magic seeds," thought Uncle Dubya.
While Uncle Dubya was petting Mister Kitty, mean old Rumsfield and Powell walked up to him.
"Mr. President," said mean old Rumsfield, "the insurgents have taken Fallujuh. We are hesitant over sending troops into a holy city as this may spark a Muslim political retaliation and put many innocent civilian lives at risk."
"Your big words make my thinking go hurt." said Uncle Dubya. He then looked at Mister Kitty and said, "Make the bad men go away!"
"Absolutely Mr. President," said mean old Rumsfield, "While I don't agree with your military stance entirely, I will see that an assault on Fallujuh begins immediately."
Then the bad men left and Uncle Dubya petted Mister Kitty until he felt better.
He put Mister Kitty down and skipped happily into the White House to find some milk and cookies. The magic seeds forgotten.
Two secret security agents then came out of the bushes. One looked at the other and said, "Not sure why he was trying to push Prozac into the sidewalk, but its about time we got rid of the dead cat."
Next week: Alan Greenspan determines a valid plan to bolster a bearish stock market leveraging off a possible returning of consumer confidence in the Japanese economy, while Uncle Dubya kisses a girl like Uncle Clinton showed him to.
[b]The other, other white meat.[/b]
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Apollonaris Zeus
- Posts: 3716
- Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 11:17 am
I know what you mean man!
I too hate taking X when I'm drunk.
I got to be pure!
as in the old wife's tale:
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when
he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health.
Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and
all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and
giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot
up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your
health! Come. Run with us through the sunny forest, you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to
beat the shit out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? ... He was merely trying to help us!" The lion answers, "That little fucker! He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
The moral to the story is eplaya neophites is never believe what the general opinion otherwise you might just get the true message!
A II Z
I too hate taking X when I'm drunk.
I got to be pure!
as in the old wife's tale:
A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when
he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health.
Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and
all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and
giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot
up... "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your
health! Come. Run with us through the sunny forest, you'll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to
beat the shit out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? ... He was merely trying to help us!" The lion answers, "That little fucker! He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
The moral to the story is eplaya neophites is never believe what the general opinion otherwise you might just get the true message!
A II Z
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Simply Joel
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Rob the Wop
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cowboyangel
- Posts: 6986
- Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 10:32 pm
There once was
A mean ole man called Mr. Wop
He said no to political op
But this little piece of news
Is just too much to stand
That Condie Rice just refered to the Prez
As her "Husband"
(your freudian slip is showing Ms. Rice)
A mean ole man called Mr. Wop
He said no to political op
But this little piece of news
Is just too much to stand
That Condie Rice just refered to the Prez
As her "Husband"
(your freudian slip is showing Ms. Rice)
"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believe is false."- William Casey, CIA Director 1981
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cowboyangel
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- Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 10:32 pm