My Frustration

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:39 pm

Oh-Em-Gee.... Did NOT expect such a great response!

I'm headed to bed now with this terrible cold.. but I promise tomorrow to come back and read all these.

This is reason # 274,536,444 why I have to make it this year...

On the eplaya alone, you have all been pretty damn supportive, and it makes my heart happy to know people like this exist.

O, I'll make it.. Whether I take the beetle or not.. I just have to figure this out. Maybe I needed an extra boost from you guys...

Thanks again, and yes, promise to read all of these tomorrow.

XOXO
Kate

ZenoBoy · Post by **ZenoBoy** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:05 pm

My story, for what it's worth.

In 2006, I had a group of I was going to be caravaning with and everyone dropped out at the last minute, I was meeting a theme camp once I arrived so I wasn't to stressed. I had an SUV and just me now heading to BM. I hopped on the ride share board and posted that I had space for 1 to split driving and gas. Within 24 hours I had several replies.

I ended up taking this virgin. He had his pop up shade structure, a camping chair, a 2 person tent and his large cup plus the needed water and some food. Since I was in a theme camp with jobs, dues and other extraneous rules, I couldn't invite him to join our camp but he became a satellite. He hung out with us on occasion and came to a few of our events but overall he went on his own adventure and had a fantastic time.

The entire drive home all he could rave about was how amazing it was and all the plans he was developing for 2007.

As copious others have posted before me, make your plan based on you and what you have under your control. Convincing people to go is a definite recipe for disaster. Surf the boards for the next few months and that will also help you solidify a master plan on getting there, where to camp, who to camp with (if any) and what you may want to see or do once you get to BRC.

The best advice I ever received for BM was to plan for everything to the best of your abilities and then just go with the flow and have no expectations.

BM to me is a live version of a Choose Your Own Adventure book. There are unlimited possibilities and you never know what is going to happen from day to day. Just make sure you have what you need to make sure you are comfortable and won't die.

Every year (this will be my 5th year) I go with a printed schedule of events that I want to attend for each day. I have yet to make it to any one of those events and I have still had the time of my life meeting people and exploring all the things BM has to offer.

You'll be just fine.

Arcanum · Post by **Arcanum** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:06 pm

Victorian,

It'll be my first time too and like you, I live in the middle of nowhere. I don't know any local burners but what I'm doing is sending texts/emails/whatever to people I know in my community who might know some burners to touch base with. I also am planning on going to a regional burn at the end of May to try to meet people (hope I can get a ticket!!) I don't really have a car I can take to BM (I use my parent's) so I kind of need to figure out the ride situation- but I know that will come in time. I want to meet people in person before committing to riding with them for over a day and possibly camping with them. You might also try other websites to find people. (ha, I hope this isn't breaking some sort of "don't mention other sites etiquette I don't know) I know Facebook and Couchsurfing have Burning Man groups and I'm sure there are a bazillion other sites that do too. My point? I'm nervous about going too because I only know one other person who bought a ticket and he doesn't know if he will be able to go (and he lives like 1,500 miles away) but I know things will work out how they're meant to work out :)

see you on the Playa

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Thu Jan 21, 2010 4:28 pm

LoR; thank you! All these posts have been so helpful. Two pages full of experienced burner knowledge for me to soak up like a sponge.
But yes, I am like you, a planner, OCD almost.. and your advice, was helpful and just made me feel a little bit more relaxed, less worried, and more in control.

You are all right. I'll get there... I just gotta work hard for how comfy and easy I want this trip to be....

Thanks to all.

Lord Of Ruin wrote:Caveat: I'm a planner by nature. I do layers and layers of plans and contingencies. I LIKE doing that, and having so many contingencies gives me lots of flexibility. You'll find people here that do that whole "throw some water, some undahpants and some snacks and get here!"

That ain't me...so this should be viewed with that bias.

Ok, here's my advice:

First contingency would be my "oh shit, they all flaked on me but I've been planning for months and I ain't gonna miss it" plan.

This is the minimum sustenance stuff you'll need out there....water, babywipes, some food, and a few changes of clothes. Accessories like sunblock, sunglasses, hats,e tc can be tucked anywhere. Put all this in some bags, then get yourself a 2 person pup tent. Small, low to the ground...you'll set it up behind your car, using its bulk as a windblock.

So that's what happens if all the rest falls through. See, we're better already!

Now, what I would RECOMMEND, would you do the above for your personal gear, but spend time on these boards investigating theme camps that you can join. There are quite a few that assume they are going to have new members they've never met. You'll probably pay a small fee for the week, but get communal kitchen and maybe even showers in exchange. You'll probably have a few chores to do during the event for your camp. This gets you experienced camp mates, security for your stuff and you, as well as some willing guides for your adventures if you hit it off!

Theme camps can be very loose or very tightly knit...you'll just have to interact with some online to get a sense.

Then, your third option would be to hunt rideshare boards to see if you can get in with someone from your area or maybe Vegas. You'd drive there, then join up with them and ride in.

Heck, if you volunteer enough for some of the departments, they'll feed and shower you all week for free (Gate and Rangers are among them). They take a significant time commitment to get those things provided for you (generally more than 30 hours throughout the week) but they DO make it possible for some people to attend.

Planning is part of the fun of it! You CAN go just fine, the only question is how it will end up! Don't worry...we're gonna see you there!

LoR

epic_elite · Post by **epic_elite** » Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:07 pm

[quote="Victorian"]Oh-Em-Gee.... Did NOT expect such a great response!
[/quote]

hah!

i was thinking when i read your origional post, 'don't rely on some flaky people to set your mood on the event.'

srsly.... if you go alone, you will have more fun that with people you had to drag there. and even still, with all the people that talk of going our camp dwindled from 12-20 people to the closest 4 people that really only matter.

dont put any weight on the maybe's and use your judgment on the people that say they will go... because i've noticed that BM is just one of those things that people like to humor the idea of going....... then not ever really go.

good luck! and those stag camps sound like a hella good time n e ways!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:29 pm

Seriously, taking advice from people who type "srsly" is like kissing a serpent for kicks.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:39 pm

I saw that on a license plate once.
Does it mean something?

Try this on your plates-

S5S-S5S5

xhoosier · Post by **xhoosier** » Tue Jan 26, 2010 5:34 pm

from what others have said you can go by ourself and will quickly make friend and have a good time. Last year was my first year and i said I was going with or without friends and finely at the last minute my brother decided to go. Told his wife he needed to go and make sure I didn;t get into trouble. :)

I was surprised how many people (especially women) were there by themselves but they told me they felt safe!

But go and you will find it was worth it. I joined up with a theme camp and can't wait.

gerlachedNloaded · Post by **gerlachedNloaded** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 10:01 am

i agree. i'll be a virgin this year. my obsession started when a "friend" (my parentheses to be explained) visiting some other friends in CO called me back at home and said "dude, we are so going to BM this year". i had forgotten about BM honestly until he said he wanted to go, really only knowing a little bit from my cousin who had attended a couple years prior. I thought, nah, i wont be able to afford it or get time off work yada yada yada. so i checked out the website for kicks. then i caught the bug. i became obsessed and planned out EVERY little detail i could in like the first week. i jumped on the boards, made phone calls, budgeted etc.. asked my brother to come, my brother in law, my other friends etc. and lots said "i'm in!". my sister gets preggers, my bro in law drops out. my brother goes broke, he drops out. my other friends come up with extra lame excuses, they drop out. then the one friend who i thought i could depend on.. the one who got me looking into bm, tells me, after repeatedly reminding him when tickets went on sale, how much it would cost, the plans and info i had discovered, and his assurance he wanted to go etc.. he couldn't go because he couldn't afford it. this being my oldest "friend". with an excuse he broke up with his gf and got stuck paying rent on a two bedroom apt... a girl he knew for two weeks. (come to find out he's still dating the girl, never had a two bedroom apt, can afford to and is going on a ski trip and now a new orleans trip for mardi gras, makes 60k per year, and who's parents pay for EVERYTHING.. including rent.)
needless to say i got fed up asking people.. and getting blank stares and glazed eyes from others when i brought up BM.
I thought, hell, i'm not gonna be able to go now. something i really want to do, and i can't go because i can't do it alone and i have zero loyal friends apparently. the cost alone was unreal for me by myself. thanks everyone.
then i thought, wait; why should i miss something i really want to do because i have to do it alone? how much better will it be forging my own path? and there HAS to be ways to get to Black Rock with the money i did have. I was determined.
I bought a ticket, started getting supplies, and was invited into a theme camp shortly after. The organizer then sends me a list of people in the camp i could ask for rides from the airport. within a day i had more than one offer.. and others just dropping a line to say hi and keep me up to date on the happenings of the camp. and info on the biobus if the rides didn't work out for some reason.
These people i have never met, acting on an email and a burner attitude, gave me more support, inspiration, and hope than all of my "friends" combined.
In a nutshell.. it doesn't matter if people flake. it only matters that you want to go.. and with some determination.. others will be glad to help you achieve that goal.

gerlachedNloaded · Post by **gerlachedNloaded** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 10:01 am

word.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:14 pm

Sorry to hear about yer bad experience with some AZ burners....

As for me, my first year i went with a large scale sound camp. I felt i was at camp WAY too much and didnt get to see as much as i wanted.

Come 2009, the Thursday before gates open my friend's ride got arrested and now he and his art needed a ride to BM. I was offered a free ticket in exchange for driving them. I got SUPER excited and started taking inventory of what i would need....turns out it was pretty much just food and water.
The next day i found out his friend got the court day pushed back and plan A was going to work out.

But in that couple hours of sheer excitement of heading to burning man by myself with no camp, i have become fixated on doing it this year. So that's what im doing. Im even more excited then i was for my first burn.

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:40 pm

gerlachedNloaded wrote:i agree. i'll be a virgin this year. my obsession started when a "friend" (my parentheses to be explained) visiting some other friends in CO called me back at home and said "dude, we are so going to BM this year". i had forgotten about BM honestly until he said he wanted to go, really only knowing a little bit from my cousin who had attended a couple years prior. I thought, nah, i wont be able to afford it or get time off work yada yada yada. so i checked out the website for kicks. then i caught the bug. i became obsessed and planned out EVERY little detail i could in like the first week. i jumped on the boards, made phone calls, budgeted etc.. asked my brother to come, my brother in law, my other friends etc. and lots said "i'm in!". my sister gets preggers, my bro in law drops out. my brother goes broke, he drops out. my other friends come up with extra lame excuses, they drop out. then the one friend who i thought i could depend on.. the one who got me looking into bm, tells me, after repeatedly reminding him when tickets went on sale, how much it would cost, the plans and info i had discovered, and his assurance he wanted to go etc.. he couldn't go because he couldn't afford it. this being my oldest "friend". with an excuse he broke up with his gf and got stuck paying rent on a two bedroom apt... a girl he knew for two weeks. (come to find out he's still dating the girl, never had a two bedroom apt, can afford to and is going on a ski trip and now a new orleans trip for mardi gras, makes 60k per year, and who's parents pay for EVERYTHING.. including rent.)
needless to say i got fed up asking people.. and getting blank stares and glazed eyes from others when i brought up BM.
I thought, hell, i'm not gonna be able to go now. something i really want to do, and i can't go because i can't do it alone and i have zero loyal friends apparently. the cost alone was unreal for me by myself. thanks everyone.
then i thought, wait; why should i miss something i really want to do because i have to do it alone? how much better will it be forging my own path? and there HAS to be ways to get to Black Rock with the money i did have. I was determined.
I bought a ticket, started getting supplies, and was invited into a theme camp shortly after. The organizer then sends me a list of people in the camp i could ask for rides from the airport. within a day i had more than one offer.. and others just dropping a line to say hi and keep me up to date on the happenings of the camp. and info on the biobus if the rides didn't work out for some reason.
These people i have never met, acting on an email and a burner attitude, gave me more support, inspiration, and hope than all of my "friends" combined.
In a nutshell.. it doesn't matter if people flake. it only matters that you want to go.. and with some determination.. others will be glad to help you achieve that goal.

Your story, love, is reason number 374,008,112 that I am going this year, along with friends and family, or alone...

Thank you guys, all of you, for the support that I am NOT getting as of right now, from my default friends and family...

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Wed Jan 27, 2010 9:43 pm

Moose, thank you also, for sharing your "Getting to BM" story.

I've found a camp. I'm a little nervous still meeting people for the first time, and sharing a "home" and camp for a week straight.

My camp's "mom" or rather, who will be calling all the shots, has made me feel much better, and I am SO SO SO glad, that I joined e-playa. I wouldn't be making it out to 2010 without all your support and listening to my frustrations. I again, cannot wait to make it out. I will budget as best as I can.

Seems I am going SOLO, taking the Beetle and a very small, "Motorcycle-like" trailer, to get all my necessities there. Hopefully my will and determination will make sure I get there and back in one piece, and hopefully... all will be well.

Thanks!
Kate

gerlachedNloaded · Post by **gerlachedNloaded** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 5:38 am

you're well on your way. congrats! come visit us at camp Eden and the Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro. We'll share giggles about how much our default "friends" are missing out on

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:34 am

Drop by Anti M's Home for Wayward Art in Hushville and adopt some art!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:35 am

AntiM wrote:Drop by Anti M's Home for Wayward Art in Hushville and adopt some art!

I'll second that!!
one of the best ideas, and spots.........changes every day.......

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:51 pm

AntiM wrote:Drop by Anti M's Home for Wayward Art in Hushville and adopt some art!

I'm working on something to donate to this camp already, after reading about it elsewhere!...

I do hope to adopt some art to give a good home to also... on a wall of my default home here back in AZ as well.

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Thu Jan 28, 2010 7:52 pm

gerlachedNloaded wrote:you're well on your way. congrats! come visit us at camp Eden and the Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro. We'll share giggles about how much our default "friends" are missing out on

I'm definitely going to have to make a list of "must see camps" just to say hello and give a hug to everyone that was kind enough on eplaya to lend a helpful earful of advice.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 6:14 am

Victorian wrote: I'm definitely going to have to make a list of "must see camps" just to say hello and give a hug to everyone that was kind enough on eplaya to lend a helpful earful of advice.

Good luck with that.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 6:30 am

it's better if you just make a mental list. as soon as you write out a list of the camps you wanna visit you should send them an email telling them to fark off

Lord Of Ruin · Post by **Lord Of Ruin** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:54 pm

[quote="C.f.M."]Virgins can volunteer for Ranger training, but not to be Rangers.[/quote]

This is correct. I stand corrected to my original post.

I was throwing out a couple that offer such things, but Rangers wouldn't be available to newbie.

jcliff · Post by **jcliff** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:16 pm

As someone who travels from a rural area by myself, I understand your worries.....I had the same. However, after 2 years of traveling to Burning Man alone, I understand that my travel is the only "alone" part. I suggest you check into the Lamplighters. We're a working camp....we light the playa every night in a beautiful ritual. We have a great communal kitchen with dinner served every night (I eat better at BM than I do at home.) We also have a kick-ass lounge/bar and a shower. We have alot of Lamplighters that go solo, so you'll have plenty of company in your boat. The work we do is appreciated by all the city residents, and it's a great way to make friends. We won't start adding new people until March or so, but if you pm me I'll give you th information on how to get in touch with our village leaders.

Best of luck...and don't worry! Even going solo you'll feel like you're home.

Victorian · Post by **Victorian** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 12:25 pm

jcliff wrote:As someone who travels from a rural area by myself, I understand your worries.....I had the same. However, after 2 years of traveling to Burning Man alone, I understand that my travel is the only "alone" part. I suggest you check into the Lamplighters. We're a working camp....we light the playa every night in a beautiful ritual. We have a great communal kitchen with dinner served every night (I eat better at BM than I do at home.) We also have a kick-ass lounge/bar and a shower. We have alot of Lamplighters that go solo, so you'll have plenty of company in your boat. The work we do is appreciated by all the city residents, and it's a great way to make friends. We won't start adding new people until March or so, but if you pm me I'll give you th information on how to get in touch with our village leaders.

Best of luck...and don't worry! Even going solo you'll feel like you're home.

I think that might be something to definitely consider. Thank you doll.

pntball727 · Post by **pntball727** » Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:17 pm

Victorian check your PM's i am a fellow AZ burner and I am willing to assist if need be. i am going to be a virgin this year and will be attending solo myself unless plans change. i think i may be of some help for you.

My Frustration

as you can tell