Death and Love of those Lost

Dad · Post by **Dad** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:06 pm

So a tough one to talk about as I often look at it as a selfish feeling of loss.
Just a bit of recent and not so recent background. My friends 21 year old killed in recent Cali storms. Hard as a parent and their house destroyed. I am wondering of thoughts. W.D. - 2nd dad as I consider him and begged me to visit him before death in Oregon. Never made it and had guilt issue. Brought a vest he made to 2009 BRC (1st visit) and day of temple burn it dissapeared. I guess he was there and I let go yet still, at nearly 50, as a man, tear up thinking about him. He would have loved the playa. Gran Pierre, me living in the Sierras and him dying telling me daily over the phone how he wished he could see them, as he never had. Hiking Mount Dana for a spring back country ski trip and finding out later he passed nearly (if not at the exact time) we started our hike up the mountain. (Yes, on top, hours later, I felt him looking through my eyes.(He got to see them from nearly the top). Finding out my friend had O.D'd after getting his life together and raising a family on a Thanksgiving morning. (His uncle, who told me, was devestated as I took his nephew in as a son and brother). Reading my great grand dads suicide letter after being neglected any info on him for nearly 40 years and then doing research that he was not only a film critic, but had written 2 novels, and several film scripts. Searching the net I found the 1st image my father had ever seen of his grand father.

I just need to share., and feel you guys might get it and maybe others will let go or attempt to. Perhaps, and hopefully, as for me with W.D., the temple helps but never takes away these times of tears and selfishness missing those we love.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:08 pm

Well Dad, Glad you feel connected with this crazy group and are able to dig deep and let us peek into your life. Glad to have read your post....

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:14 pm

I empathize with your loss.

Everything that we love is destined to be dust, including ourselves. So the art of living is the art of letting go.

Deb Prothero · Post by **Deb Prothero** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:32 pm

Dad, haven't visited here in a month but came to share something I wrote and your note came up. You've said it all, there is no further need for me to expand.

The musings I wrote today are here:

http://seeingredinthesouthwest.blogspot ... parks.html

Dad · Post by **Dad** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:47 am

Deb Prothero wrote:Dad, haven't visited here in a month but came to share something I wrote and your note came up. You've said it all, there is no further need for me to expand.

The musings I wrote today are here:

http://seeingredinthesouthwest.blogspot ... parks.html

Just wanted to say Thank You for sharing. It seems to me, the hardest, to truly speak of feelings during grieving. We all see, love, laugh, cry, etc. with those close to us so individually. It often seems nearly impossible for me to share these experiences due to such. You have written your thoughts and comforted me in doing so. I am so great full, that the family you have chosen has been by your side during such times and want to let you know, though a recent member, feel so close to so many though never meeting most in person. This is a true family and I am great full to have found a home in all of you.