pinemom wrote:
Met in default via this website..... camped together in 2006, he proposed on wed. 2006 we got married on the playa thur2007.
Built a theme camp in 2007, been burninglove ever since....
c'mon pinemom~ there's got to be more to it than that. when did you know that he was THE ONE?
(I feel like I'm at a giggley sleepover)
Okay, my turn.....
I have had 2 failed marriages that I gave 100% too. When my husband of 10 years & 2 kids left me the only thing that kept me going was the thought that I wasn't going to miss Burning man again because of him. I changed a lot that year (the year before my first burn). what is that saying? just when the caterpillar thought the world had ended it became a butterfly? is that it? yeah...i felt like that.
I wasn't really looking to meet anyone at burning man. My sister had been trying to meet guys there for years with no luck. That's not why I was going, but the moment I set foot on the playa (putting up tents in a dusty 3am conditions) I met a guy. THE guy.
I won't repeat all the stuff i shared in my intro about how fucking amazing my first burn was and how it took me so many years & 2 failed marriages to meet my true mate but I will tell you this:
The Playa Provides
And sometimes the default world tries to get in the way of that.....in my case, The Guy lived in new jersey and I was in northern california. The Guy had a girlfriend. ouch. yeah. I know. I remember him telling me he had a girlfriend......actually, he said. "I don't have a girlfriend, but I know somebody who would be really upset if she heard me say that." And i said, "What does you having a girlfriend have to do with me?" yeah. i know. But he hated his girlfriend---as well as he should have because she was a psycho which we found out the hard way when she hacked into his computer & phone erasing my contact info. But the week before I had gotten this weird idea to only contact each other through snail mail. So we weren't lost.
For the record (or just for the sake of science) as soon as he got cell service he called his girlfriend and told her what happened because he felt so badly---not badly about meeting me but badly about hurting her in the process. She said that it was okay that he had a fling at burning man and that they would work through it to which he replied, "How can I still be with you when I am more in love with someone I just spent only a week with?"
We gave it some time......wrote letters....I wasn't jumping into anything as absurd as a long distance relationship. I figured that we would meet up the next year. Plus I still hadn't figured out yet wether i was in love with this guy, in love with his tribe or in love with burning man!
We wrote letters and we promised to meet up on the east coast on thanksgiving (yes, he brought the girl he met in the desert to meet his family on thanksgiving). We took a LONG road trip--blizzard, flat tire---from NJ to Maine (where my family is) and by the end of it I knew what I already knew but had to test out in "the default world".
He was still finishing up a degree there and I was raising kids here so we traveled back and forth for a year...seeing each other probably once a month.....on holidays....birthdays.....wedddings....etc. It was like dating someone while on vacation all the time. Then he graduated and moved here to california about a week before burning man this past summer.....we went together and it was incredibly wonderful and now we are back here in the default world......and he hasn't been able to find a job in his profession because of the move and my exhusband has been calling me up and yelling at me on the phone because of this (says our family counselor) and we are broke and frustrated BUT you know what? We are still wonderful. Our relationship is wonderful. We will be fine.
I highly HIGHLY recommend falling in love at burning man. It's like falling in love with someone else's soul before you even finding out what they do for a living.
