mutant vehicles, I want one!!

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 7:55 am

Captain Goddammit wrote:Sorry, I kinda went off there... but this is something I've been dealing with for years.

Here's another thing about riding MVs: Taxi service. MVs are NOT taxis! What's the big deal about asking to be taken somewhere specific? It never ends! I can't get where I was going, I can't even get back to camp - there's always another person behind you, wanting to go somewhere.
You board an MV on the condition that you go wherever it's going... not the other way around. Even the DMV will tell you that.
If you are bleeding and need to get to Ranger Medical, of course my MV will immediately become an ambulance and high-tail it there. But people even abuse that - I've had so many people with fake injuries who need to be taken somewhere that I'm forced to deny any "emergency" service unless you're going directly to Ranger Medical. Not your camp.

People are still constantly being told that they can use MVs to get somewhere.

The message should be that they are totally useless for transport, unless you know where they're going.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 7:58 am

gyre wrote:
Captain Goddammit wrote:Sorry, I kinda went off there... but this is something I've been dealing with for years.

Here's another thing about riding MVs: Taxi service. MVs are NOT taxis! What's the big deal about asking to be taken somewhere specific? It never ends! I can't get where I was going, I can't even get back to camp - there's always another person behind you, wanting to go somewhere.
You board an MV on the condition that you go wherever it's going... not the other way around. Even the DMV will tell you that.
If you are bleeding and need to get to Ranger Medical, of course my MV will immediately become an ambulance and high-tail it there. But people even abuse that - I've had so many people with fake injuries who need to be taken somewhere that I'm forced to deny any "emergency" service unless you're going directly to Ranger Medical. Not your camp.
People are still constantly being told that they can use MVs to get somewhere.

The message should be that they are totally useless for transport, unless you know where they're going.

well, it's true, you can get somewhere, just who knows where.......

and, they're great for riding, just, not going anywhere in particular.....

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:08 am

dougly made a point of jumping on one every day, going wherever they took him, and walking back, just to see what he would see ... if i remember correctly. he highly recommended it!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:13 am

Dougly, has always been a "live on the ragged edge, roll the dice" sort of trend setting adventurer........

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:18 am

ya got that right! hooray for barbarians!

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:22 am

and hooray for Boobarians too !!

Dr Helix · Post by **Dr Helix** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:13 am

I run a small MV as Dr Helix, and that gives me more mobility to give rides then my bigger bretheren. I've had great experiences with folks I've given rides to as a rule; very appreciative. Many times it has given me an opportunity to visit other camps I might miss. A couple of asswipes for sure. Three girls once climbed on and commanded that I take them to the airport. When I said no, they ran me down in their best truck driver dialects. So its not always the the boys who are the problem. But I will be back this year and will continue to give rides as needed. My gift to the playa.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:16 am

if you're the owner/operator, is it ok to have a squirt bottle of ammonia, for just that circumstance?..............

Post by **AntiM** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:31 am

Dr Helix wrote:I run a small MV as Dr Helix, and that gives me more mobility to give rides then my bigger bretheren. I've had great experiences with folks I've given rides to as a rule; very appreciative. Many times it has given me an opportunity to visit other camps I might miss. A couple of asswipes for sure. Three girls once climbed on and commanded that I take them to the airport. When I said no, they ran me down in their best truck driver dialects. So its not always the the boys who are the problem. But I will be back this year and will continue to give rides as needed. My gift to the playa.

Airport? BRC or Reno?

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:24 pm

Dr Helix wrote: So its not always the the boys who are the problem.

So true! Some goddamm bitch tasered me a few years ago on my MV. I'm sorry, but at that point chivalry was dead and she was THROWN off.
Another female tried to hijack the vessel... grabbed the keys... I did my absolute best to harm her as little as absolutely necessary to secure the MV but it got a little ugly. Another female climbed onto the roof after being told LOUDLY that it was NOT built to take a person's weight on the uppermost roof and to stay the hell off it. Another aerial ejection.

I really can't believe it comes to that at Burning Man. Sometimes I have to just park it at camp because I can't get 500 feet without trouble from some obnoxious dickhead.

But in between all that, the MV does something I hadn't originally expected, and maybe some people here can even tell you the same story: It gets people from eplaya together that wouldn't have otherwise met.
What happens is people see it go by and recognize it from my picture, and yell "Hey! Captain Goddammit!" I drop anchor and pick them up... we cruise... another eplaya person sees it and does the same. This time it's "Hi! Yep, I'm Capt. GD, and this here happens to be Sensei!" And we all cruise... and it happens again...

I should switch back to a daytime avatar photo.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:36 pm

How did she happen to taser you?
Seems a bit much.

Interesting thing happened here when they passed domestic violence laws requiring arrest- more women arrested than men.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:27 pm

gyre wrote:

Interesting thing happened here when they passed domestic violence laws requiring arrest- more women arrested than men.

that is a pearl, Gyre........I've heard the same here, maybe not more, but, women arrested went way up........

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:32 pm

Captain Goddammit wrote:
Dr Helix wrote: So its not always the the boys who are the problem.
So true! Some goddamm bitch tasered me a few years ago on my MV. I'm sorry, but at that point chivalry was dead and she was THROWN off.
Another female tried to hijack the vessel... grabbed the keys... I did my absolute best to harm her as little as absolutely necessary to secure the MV but it got a little ugly. Another female climbed onto the roof after being told LOUDLY that it was NOT built to take a person's weight on the uppermost roof and to stay the hell off it. Another aerial ejection.

I really can't believe it comes to that at Burning Man. Sometimes I have to just park it at camp because I can't get 500 feet without trouble from some obnoxious dickhead.

But in between all that, the MV does something I hadn't originally expected, and maybe some people here can even tell you the same story: It gets people from eplaya together that wouldn't have otherwise met.
What happens is people see it go by and recognize it from my picture, and yell "Hey! Captain Goddammit!" I drop anchor and pick them up... we cruise... another eplaya person sees it and does the same. This time it's "Hi! Yep, I'm Capt. GD, and this here happens to be Sensei!" And we all cruise... and it happens again...

I should switch back to a daytime avatar photo.

hahaha, CGD:
year before last, I had my first "pot cookie", and, since I don't partake, I'm especially susceptible,,,,,,,and, it was very strong..........(don't worry, I'm gettin' to the story, I just had to preface it)

I was looking all over for you..........

well,
on the "cookie day".........I thought I had found you...........
my friends finally found me, talking to a boat, as if it were you, and, enjoying myself, (according to them).
But, it wasn't you, it was a boat. and, no one was on it...........

but, my plan is to find you, and, wave you down, as you describe...........

watch for me. you'll recognize my goggles.

**forgot the photo**

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:32 pm

It was totally out of the blue. She thought it would be funny. I did nothing whatsoever to provoke it. Yeah, I thought it was a bit much too. It wasn't funny, she met the playa right away, and not a one of the full boat-load of people on board at the time knew what the fuck her problem was or thought I over-reacted.

I'm telling ya all... MV drivers get unbelievable bullshit from burners. Most of it is just verbal abuse from people who are too drunk and rowdy to be allowed on, are in a group too large, or I'm simply already carrying my design-limit of a dozen people at a time.

I love this one: I get flagged down... sure, you're welcome aboard! Then the guy turns around "Hey guys! I got us all a ride!" Big crowd shows up, all starts climbing on... I have had tires blow out on the playa before with too many people on. And of course, when that happened, they all got off and left.

I better quit thinking about this stuff. I'm about halfway to talking myself out of even going this year now!

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:35 pm

ygmir wrote:
but, my plan is to find you, and, wave you down, as you describe...........

I'll PM you my info, my camp is REAL easy to find.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:08 am

Not to worry Captain, you only spoke truth! "Public transit" was a very poor choice of words, I fully realize that you are NOT there to just tote people around to where they want to go. And I would never attempt to just hop on the land yacht, I would flag you down as previously described. So if I do so this year, PLEASE don't give me the boot when you learn who I am!

I guess I should mention that my being physically evicted from the MV happened in my first year and that it is the basis for my idiotic hopping on that I continued into my second year, though not nearly as often as I was working long hours. I only do it to the especially large and slow moving MV's, because I have a sort of grudge against them and the elitist attitudes some of them seem to have. Like I said, I usually manage to charm them, but it takes a lot of apologizing for my reckless behavior! Yes, this year I will do it again, at least once, but I think this will be the end of it, as I have found that though certain party barges are a bit stuck up, the reason they refuse to give you a ride when they are less than half full, is that they KNOW that soon enough they will be filled to capacity with friends and random strangers they've met who were promised a spot on the bus. I don't like it, but if I had my own old city bus that had been mutated into Falcor the Luck Dragon from The Neverending Story (MY MV IDEA!) I might very well do the same thing.

I may be reckless and wild, but I'm NOT a Douchebag!

So some crazy bitch thought it would be funny to Tazer the driver of the MV she was riding in? That's just NOT funny, and I am one of those people who think just about EVERYTHING is funny. That's harsh, she's lucky she didn't get dragged behind the vehicle...

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:30 am

Assuming I'm able to overcome the recent bad-economy financial difficulties and am able to haul the big heavy thing to the playa this year, there will be a place on board for you and a frosty margarita. Maybe you can even help crew as the bouncer!

Sorry for taking over this thread as a soapbox for venting about the hassles of MV driving. MOST of the time it's great, and the trouble happens primarily Friday and Saturday night, when all the "raver yahoo" partyer types are out in force.

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:55 am

The few times we've been invited aboard MVs has been quite wonderful. One of the Utah conclave camps with a large MV and twice has arranged to take us and our fuel cart back to the Esp. near our street. A short ride granted, and sober, but very breathtaking high up on a pirate ship.

pinemom · Post by **pinemom** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:46 am

Ok...since were talking about the "Bads" of MV's...this is WHY we made our MV. The Playa Frog.

My B'irgin yr...I drank way to much setting up camp on Sunday night, only to stay up extremely late into the morning with all the rest of our camp came in with the flood gates...more drinking....woke the next morning to being still drunk.....

Got myself a Bloodymary, a roll of T.P., cigs, ashtray and water in my Bike basket and set off to go across the playa, 1st solo trip out of camp...

AIM: 9o'clock plaza to find Miss Velvetina Sinner (yes no idea of where she was camping, but for some reason my B'irgin sense thought I could find her...even sans city map.
Got to the MAN.....wow, wowser, incredible...Im finally here after 13 yrs watching from afar....

still closed...ok....onto 9:00....

1/2 mile in between each way? On a bike of which I havent rode on one in at least 5 yrs....

Its getting hot...aint it...how come Im not sweating?....more bloody mary....more water?Nah, smoke a cig whilst peddling....

get to 9:00...hmmm where would a bright and shiney MissV be???

went down A south...nope...then B south....nope...A north...out of the corner of my eye...I SEE HER!!! walking through the portal...yay!

hang out...imbide...more bloody mary...no water...dont really drink that stuff....

hugs and spankings I set back out for home base....there's the Man...man how come it seems further from 9:00 plaza???
Oh pretty lights...or better known as the Waffle(Uchronia)...hmmmmm. That doesnt look that far....ok....ditch the Man, head for Uchronia....1/4 way there....legs cramping, cant catch breath, still not sweating?
STUCK.

MV's going here and going there....all out of any possible conceivable reach for me to even scream murder and be heard.....
standing there breach across my bike....not knowing if this will be how it all ends...."me @ Burningman....found dead on the playa on the first day of the event" {Dried up like the little tadpoles i caught at 15 yrs old,and put into a ice chest with a window screen on, they grew faster then I realized they did, left for a weekend and came home to dried up little last gasp frogs all over my teenage bedroom...poor little guys...(yes, this is all going through my head out on playa in left field)
Im a Frog....Im a dead dried up stretched to my maximus froggyness pose.

The Playa Frog: The camp Booby bar's MV. for all of our camp to use...
But with GUIDELINES....

Its mission... to seek out and rescue dried up playa frogs!
We wont take you where you ask.
Your along for the ride...the Playa Frog is the only one who knows where she is going!
"Crazy....wanna go?"

There is also the name dedication to PlayaFrog who granted me my scholarship so I could take this wild ride!

Of which we have not been able to connect on playa YET! its been 2 yrs...2010 will be her 3rd year! Yo...

hahaha...sorry long story...but good one I hope...

Also. side note...maybe the "inexperienced NOOBS can read this and finally understand that a MV is a emotion....not just a motion.

Post by **AntiM** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:54 am

I cherish my ride on the Playafrog too. Happened to be in the right place at the right time. Magical!

That's the beauty of rarely riding MVs, the experience becomes extra-special for me.

My first year I ended up on an MV tearing around the playa. I'd thrown my back out and couldn't ride the bike, I had a cane and was hobbling. MyLarry was participating in the Little Black Dress Parade and vanished into the dust to haul a lion somewhere. The opera perhaps? I got to see art I otherwise never would have seen. I did have to hobble back to camp, but that was cool. Larry showed up, dusty and dehydrated, this was before we had hydration packs!

I dreamt of mutant vehicles last night!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:56 am

ok,
so, I'm printing the MV questionaire, to hopefully, get approval for my MV.

anyone got any hints as to how to make it most desirable and accepted by DMV?

t i a

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:12 pm

In the section where they want you to describe what you plan to bring to the community with this MV, answer it by saying you are going to hang out at the DMV all day and night and act as a personal taxi for all of the wonderful hotties that make all of this possible.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:06 pm

That would work!
Also, if you want your night time license, you can't have too many lights on your MV.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:44 pm

littleflower wrote:dougly made a point of jumping on one every day, going wherever they took him, and walking back, just to see what he would see ... if i remember correctly. he highly recommended it!

Thank you, and it made for a perfect playa adventure! Meet new people, see sections of BRC you never would have visited, save on shoe leather, and who knows, you'll probably wind up at some magical place? Bring water, a snack, well, prepare to be stranded.

(There are art cars for sale on Craigslist...)

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:49 pm

Captain Goddammit wrote:Maybe you can even help crew as the bouncer!

Mmmm... are you taking applications?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:10 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:
Captain Goddammit wrote:Maybe you can even help crew as the bouncer!
Mmmm... are you taking applications?

don't forget Dougly:
"getting someone off" in the context of a bouncer on the "land yacht", is different than you're probably used to.......

just sayin'...........

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:17 pm

Hey, I don't care HOW he calms them down!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:26 pm

good point.......it'll make for a happy crew..........

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:19 pm

littleflower · Post by **littleflower** » Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:24 pm

sounds like a good reason to cause trouble on the good captain's boat ....