why las vegas is better than burningman

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:07 am

* the women don't walk around with goddess complexes
* the art is better
* did not become exploitive; was always exploitive
* lots of water, and plenty of ice
* cocaine is easier to score (ask your taxi driver)
* workers are paid a living wage for their labor
* no borg going out of its way to make you feel like an outsider
* critical tits and its afterparty is not allowed
* no DPW pretending to be like DPW from years past
* no one says, "participate, don't spectate!" indicating they are participants
* no bacon or 'safety 3rd' horribly annoying memes
* the art is really, really much better
* private parties aren't announced
* no dangerous rolling vehicles pretending to be "art", instead: monorail ! monorail ! monorail !
* free drinks, not barter drinks
* you are wearing the correct costume
* no name dropping
* strangers you had sex with don't keep popping into camp all week
* come and go as you please
* no ticket required to enter
* no one tells you when to leave
* all the time every day
* the art is uh... hmmm... better
* LV hot chicks are hotter (way hotter) than BM hot chicks
* wasn't better last year. it will be better this year, and next.
* leaving a trace is just fine
* the curators don't go around telling everyone they are the curators
* no man to burn early, so you never have to cry that addis ruined your burningman

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:38 am

So we know where to look for you on Labor Day.

goathead · Post by **goathead** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:47 am

Thank You for Staying in Vegas.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:50 am

I like that, goathead. Can I get that on a tee-shirt?

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:12 am

* no power-tripping BRC rangers with the deep seated desire to be garden variety cops

Homiesinheaven · Post by **Homiesinheaven** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:23 am

yeah bro, the chicks are like totally hotter. and they walk around in heels like no problemo as opposed to those playa hippies who are "above" wearing heels. wtf? who needs that shit when i'm just looking for a good time ya know? my frat bros and i had no trouble scoring mounds of coke last time we were in vegas. we were raaaaaaaaaaging. but it was so hard to get drugs at BM!!! who needs all the hassle and dust anyway? dude, let's like, totally split a hooker next time we go! i'll see if i can hook it up and put it on my daddy's credit card. party on!

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:03 am

* the presence of children having a good time while you're struggleing to survive doesn't make you feel less hard-core, so later you don't discuss banning them from the city.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 12:39 pm

* you get to give yer money to giant multi million dollar casinos rather then using it on yerself and others

*hookers

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:44 pm

* at least you know where your money is going

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:49 pm

/slaps hand twice with stack of flyers

*HOOKERS!

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 1:51 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:*hookers

*The hookers act like hookers and have trading cards, instead of acting like starving artists and having B.O.

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 2:34 pm

* like at burningman, it's best to know where to stick your willy. as you would never have sex with playa circus folk, in vegas you would never call a lady from a card handed to you on the street. the wise go to the center bar at the hard rock, or the little bar to the left of the lobby at caesars. there, the fine ladies will find you, and you can have your pick - all for much much less money than you'd spend on that motorized bar you've been planning for the playa.

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:44 pm

* Vegas is hot.

TalkHardRandy · Post by **TalkHardRandy** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:27 pm

As someone who lives in Vegas and goes to Burning Man, I feel like I should clarify a few points:

* the women don't walk around with goddess complexes
Just the simplexes

* the art is better
Yes, our bums have become masters in the medium of feces

* did not become exploitive; was always exploitive
What can I say - if you exploit it, we'll turn it into a Cirque show.

* lots of water, and plenty of ice
$5 please.

* cocaine is easier to score (ask your taxi driver)
He'll also score you a teenage prostitue held against her will - cause if you're go, go BIG!

* workers are paid a living wage for their labor
Based on their legal country of origin.

* no borg going out of its way to make you feel like an outsider
Nope - that's what the tourism board is for.

* critical tits and its afterparty is not allowed
That's what the "European" style pools with $20 covers are for.

* no DPW pretending to be like DPW from years past
Just women pretending to be 20 years younger than they really are

* no one says, "participate, don't spectate!" indicating they are participants
They're too buys saying "I'm in VEGAS! WOO!"

* no bacon or 'safety 3rd' horribly annoying memes
Because "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" is so much less annoying.

* the art is really, really much better
The junkies are doing amazing things with needles.

* private parties aren't announced
They're made so exclusive you can only read about them in the local mags

* no dangerous rolling vehicles pretending to be "art", instead: monorail ! monorail ! monorail !
Ah yes, the monorail - it's been months without any parts falling off of it. And our cabs are safe for both the riders & pedestrians on the sidewalks.

* free drinks, not barter drinks
After you put money in the slot machine, your free Screwdriver ends up costing $150

* you are wearing the correct costume
Because leopard print boots go with hot pink miniskirts

* no name dropping
Just the cabbies telling you who else asked them for coke.

* strangers you had sex with don't keep popping into camp all week
But sadly those bumps do.

* come and go as you please
So long as you pay the cover.

* no ticket required to enter
Tickets come at the end of the adventure.

* no one tells you when to leave
Except the bouncer after you puke on the table.

* all the time every day
Since all the casinos have amazing time keeping abilities inside them.

* the art is uh... hmmm... better
Art - shmart. Where's the hookers?

* LV hot chicks are hotter (way hotter) than BM hot chicks
They also have penises.

* wasn't better last year. it will be better this year, and next.
Actually it was better last year - the recession sucks for all of us.

* leaving a trace is just fine
Because those illegal workers need to earn their living wage.

* the curators don't go around telling everyone they are the curators
No museums = no curators = no problems!

* no man to burn early, so you never have to cry that addis ruined your burningman
But you do have to explain to your landlord that you spent your rent on "free drinks", blow & hookers.

illy dilly · Post by **illy dilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 8:02 pm

TalkHardRandy wrote:As someone who lives in Vegas and goes to Burning Man, I feel like I should clarify a few points

LMFAO!!!! HA HA HA! Hell yeah! I was there, for my first time, in February for my girlfriends 21st birthday!
"I'm in Vegas Bitch" still stings my ears. or
"I'll do what I want, What happens in vegas- stays in vegas" was the only thing one girl in our group could say after 8pm.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 8:28 pm

I found Vegas intensely boring.

I did have an art experience, and i went to a museum.
I was just off schedule for Sam Kinison's performance.

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:24 pm

* law enforcers keep a low profile and are there to protect the participants, not milk them. if someone interferes with a participant, they're removed out the side door (which is why no one interferes the participants).

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:34 pm

* when laborers are injured on the job, they receive workers' compensation

Captain Goddammit · Post by **Captain Goddammit** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 9:50 pm

I went to Vegas a few times in '05 - '06 instead of Burning Man (as well as doing a few other things) and I had a great time. And it was a LOT EASIER!!!!
Burning Man costs a shitload of money to do, at least the way I like to do it.

magicmarty · Post by **magicmarty** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 11:26 pm

I'm with you, Gyre!

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:07 am

I go to Vegas a lot, MyLarry goes a lot more, delivering steel for the new big building projects. He knows every Coyote Ugly dancer/bartender/bouncer by name, they call him "Moses" because of his beard. Coyote Ugly may not be very exclusive, but he never stands in line, and his drinks are almost free (they have to charge him some, the new manager won't let them give him free beers anymore). Lat time I was there, one of the new girls spotting my Burning Man pendant and went nuts... she's a new burner herself. It was a weird overlap of two worlds.

But we go to the Vegas burner stuff when we can; Singularity and Dark Skies ... some of the best burns until the BLM got pissy with them. Santa Rampage is a hoot.

* the theme camps are amazing in their intricacy and there's no one telling you you aren't burnery enough to go in if you have schwag.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:26 am

I haven't been to Vegas in about 30 years.......maybe more.
I've heard it's changed.......

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 6:29 am

ygmir wrote:I haven't been to Vegas in about 30 years.......maybe more.
I've heard it's changed.......

... and not for the better.

geospyder · Post by **geospyder** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:21 am

I'm overnighting in Vegas to and from a short trip to Arizona to thaw out next week.

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:45 am

* no yupster-spiritual types trying to exclude you from their sacred spaces and rituals involving a bunch of rocks and that elephant with arms thing

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:32 pm

* No snark on the LV website.
* Cirque du Soleil!
* Delcious buffet meals for just a few dollars!

LostinReno · Post by **LostinReno** » Fri Mar 26, 2010 3:43 pm

AntiM wrote:
ygmir wrote:I haven't been to Vegas in about 30 years.......maybe more.
I've heard it's changed.......
... and not for the better.

30 years ago, BRC would have been the 4th largest city in Nevada.

Randy....I think I love you!

willymilly · Post by **willymilly** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 9:25 am

* ethnic diversity

TalkHardRandy · Post by **TalkHardRandy** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:42 pm

For the record - I love Vegas. I've been here seven years and plan to be here for a few more. The trick with visiting Vegas to to find something else to do besides play slots & get drunk - you can do that in the middle of Oklahoma.

Go out to Red Rock - walk around the Arts District - pick up one of the local scene mags & see what play UNLV or the Onyx is putting on.

AntiM wrote: Singularity and Dark Skies ... some of the best burns until the BLM got pissy with them.

I still miss Roach Lake - and seeing the Utah peeps. Might have to post that compromising picture of Genius... hmmmm....

LostinReno wrote:
AntiM wrote:
ygmir wrote:I haven't been to Vegas in about 30 years.......maybe more.
I've heard it's changed.......
... and not for the better.
30 years ago, BRC would have been the 4th largest city in Nevada. :wink:

Now it ranks like 8th in the state... just because all the suburbs of Vegas were feeling left out.

LostinReno wrote: Randy....I think I love you! :lol:

I bet you say that to all the boys in pigtails.

TalkHardRandy · Post by **TalkHardRandy** » Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:45 pm

* law enforcers keep a low profile and are there to protect the participants, not milk them.
Because Metro PD actually doesn't make money off tickets from tourists - they play Megabucks.

if someone interferes with a participant, they're removed out the side door (which is why no one interferes the participants).
Reason #78 why I miss the mob running Vegas.

* when laborers are injured on the job, they receive workers' compensation
Except the illegals - they're compensation is handing out stripper cards.

* no yupster-spiritual types trying to exclude you from their sacred spaces and rituals involving a bunch of rocks and that elephant with arms thing
Only doormen enforcing dress codes.

* No snark on the LV website.
Wouldn't want to scare off the sacred cows.

* Cirque du Soleil!
Who hire only the finest French acrobats & import only the best techs from other places - cause everyone in Vegas already has jobs.

* Delcious buffet meals for just a few dollars!
I miss the 24 hours buffett at Boardwalk with their "Salmonella Surprise" daily specials.

* ethnic diversity
All of which want to drive on the Strip on the same time.