A Xenophobe's Guide to Hating All 31 U.S. World Cup Opponent

[C.f.M.]

I really freaked someone out, once, when they caught me watching a soccer game (as I am notoriously anti-sports/non-competitive). I get excited about the World Cup - though not excited about America's abject lack of knowledge about the rest of the planet.

Here's one little handy guide...

Germany, your act is getting mighty old. “Please forgive us for the occasional World War or Kraftwerk! We just get so swept up in bad ideas!â€

[gyre]

Soccer isn't really a sport because there is a ball involved, and you aren't risking death.
World rally is a sport.
Buzkashi is sport.

But that isn't why you shouldn't be watching.
They now use spam technology to constantly flash and flicker the billboards during games.
There is nothing worth watching under those conditions, including LeMans or WRC, or anything else.

You should watch enough to find some names of advertisers to complain to, and threaten to boycott if they keep up this crap.

Totally fucking annoying!

[littleflower]

i love sports when i'm in a crowd ... especially an excited one. i was in italy when they won in 2006, and it was an absolute blast. rome absolutely exploded, and that was just the semis ... i was in a small town for the final, but the entire town was on the main square, watching on a big screen.

i think it would almost be a waste for the US to win, we just don't have that much enthusiasm. here in LA, it would probably be more fun if mexico won.

just sayin' ...

[gyre]

You have a point about the crowds.

And attending some soccer games could be considered a sport, I think.

[Ugly Dougly]

It's a bad, bad sport, since the rulers of planet earth are not very good at playing it. But we're learning, and at that time it will be our National Pasttime. And you will then be required to enjoy it.

[swampdog]

There aren't enough places to put in commercial breaks for American TV to be motivated enough to broadcast. Hence, it'll never be as big here as elsewhere.

ETA: That's a really funny piece.

[MisaBlue]

Soccer is good...not as good as icehockey, but still good...I especially enjoyed it few days ago while we were playing with USA...

[Apollonaris Zeus]

that's not true! I am not afraid of Xena!