Potential first-timer feeling trepidation

[Casilias]

As the title says, I have not yet been to the playa. I have a number of friends that have gone and go. All have told me, of the many people they know, I would absolutely love it. I think my greatest issue is ignorance on the event. I've read over the BM site and I've seen marvelous pictures and videos and been enthralled by stories but I have a reticence, fear even, that is hindering me from grabbing a ticket and flying up the highway.

I had a chat this evening with a friend that will be going for her fourth time. I mentioned I feel that, should I go, I want to really give something back. She mentioned she participated in lamplighting one year and that it was amazing--I found the idea amazing as well. I think also, despite having little knowledge of what really transpires, that being a greeter would be fitting and a good way for me to give back a little something to a community that is seemingly willing to give everything it has to one such as myself who is weak in conviction.

Cheers,
mike

[Eric]

but I have a reticence, fear even, that is hindering me from grabbing a ticket and flying up the highway.
<snip>
one such as myself who is weak in conviction.

If you have that much fear you may just end up hating the event. Burning Man takes a ton out of you mentally & physically, and if you're unsure that you even want to go, you probably aren't ready yet.

When people talk about the extreme heat during the day, the possible freezing temps at night, the dust that gets everywhere- your tent, your bed, your food, your water, your body.... when you hear all the negatives and still think it sounds like something you want to do, then you're ready.

Is it worth it? For a lot of people, yes; but I know of quite a few who've gone once or maybe twice & are over it. No interest in the dust & the heat and the noise, and not even the dance music (which you can hear at a good club in civilization) and the art (which doesn't interest some people at all) makes them want to go back.

I wouldn't worry as much about how you're going to contribute. I would think long & hard about how much you want to go at all, and if what I've described sounds like something you can live through, then come. It's obviously amazing enough to get 40,000+ people into the desert, but that still doesn't mean that everyone will enjoy it.

[mudpuppy000]

I think your first year don't stress about "contributing" a whole lot. Just be able to survive and don't be a burden on others out there. It's a harsh environment so as long as you can handle that, you're set.

[Thecatman]

WELCOME!!

You say you're from Carson City?
I live near Dayton so you're about a 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive away

[Casilias]

The climate and natural aspects of the desert aren't what concerns me I don't think. The more I read on these forums and the more I think about actually going opposed to just pondering BM, the more I'm feeling I want to go. Can't know either way unless I embrace the experience personally.

Near Dayton? Dayton is only 20 minutes or so away. :-)

[Eric]

That's the attitude you need! I would suggest just going and not worrying as much about your contribution to begin with. Once you're there you may find a group that interests you or you might figure out ideas for your own contributions.

It really is unbelievable out there.

[Elderberry]

Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

JK

[bluesbob]

I'm a first timer myself. I've wanted to go for years but never wanted to make the commitment.

When the semester ended I asked a classmate what she was doing this summer. We had talked a lot during the semester, but I never got to know her really well. She said she was going to BM. My eyes got bigger...it lit a fuse in me and I decided to go.

So a little fear crept in also. My fear dealt with going alone. I didn't know the girl from school that well, and I never met the friends she was going with. So what do I do?

Turns out I didn't have to do much. I mentioned BM to friends. One friend told me he knows someone who goes every year. I've now hooked up with that friend. Another friend told me the family that runs a local liquor store go yearly. I've gone over and talked to them. I now knew several people going.

I mentioned on Facebook I was going. An old friend from Ontario, Canada informed me she's gone the last 12 years. She and her friends are BR Rangers. I now know more people going this year.

I joined eplaya. I joined groups on Facebook. People started talking to me. I started talking to them. I know know dozens of people going this year.

The point is...what's happened here in the matrix also happens on the playa. I was told that if I went alone I would have over 40,000 friends by the end of the week. I'm finding this to be true already. There's nothing to fear.

Except I hope the shelter I'm building does the job and holds up in the wind.

[teardropper]

Don't overthink it. It's just a week long camping trip.

On the moon.

If you think you are up to it physically, have food, water and shelter, you've read the Survivors Guide, First Timers Guide, and everything else on that site, and understand it, and you really want to go... Then go. Relax, help out, don't be a mooch. And it is more fun than anything.

[LeChatNoir]

Hi Casilias

What is it that worries you so much?

The physical aspect never bothered me much. It was the mental components that were tripping me up my first year. Here I was, a guy from Kentucky who had never been west of the Mississippi river, diving into an event that seemed to me to be dominated by people from the west coast. I had the idea that there would be a large cultural divide. I’ve been on both sides of situations where there are clicks or certain protocols to a social group and I very much worried about not being welcomed into something because of where I was from. Before, I’ve had people seem genuinely (and sarcastically) surprised that I could carry on a real conversation, despite my southern accent. To encounter this treatment at Burning Man after such a long journey would be disheartening to say the least.

What I found after I got there was that my fears were completely unfounded. There were people from around the world and the ones I met and made friends with were the warmest, most giving and accepting group of people I’ve ever had the pleasure to become a part of. Nobody is going to shun you if you “don’t volunteer enough“. In fact, for your first year my advice would be to come out and just soak it up with an open mind. You will find that there are hundreds of ways to help out and they will present themselves to you around every corner. Don’t’ feel pressured… just wander around and go with the flow. You may decide you want to volunteer right away, or maybe not. Either way, if the event strikes a chord with you, you’ll come away from your first year very inspired on how to contribute.

[FaeTora]

The biggest fear I had was just food. I have been camping since I remember but just last year I was diagnosised with Celaics. I was still trying to figure out how to eat at home so I just asked in a post. I think it might have been one of my very first posts in fact. Now three months out I have a list of meals, some pre-cooked and some will be cooked on the Playa and I'm so excited!

The people I have met in this community are amazing souls. Read these posts and the guide and try to soak up as much of it as you can. Things you never thought of that will make your trip easier are vast. Find people in the community. I have several groups I go to and converse with local burners and get advice from them. But in the end, if your not certain about BM, maybe it isn't the right place for you right now. For me, its something I have to do. No fear is going to stop me.

Good luck & I'll see you in the dust!

[Sham]

Yup, what everyone else has said! My first year I was scared to death. I was dwelling on things like how would I shower, how would I keep food cold, shelter, sleeping bag, meals etc. It has become so effortless to go over the years, that I barely plan ahead now. I have gotten to the point where if I stop going it would be more effort. It's just part of my end of summer now.

Read all the guides and just keep chugging forward with it and before you know it you will be heading out on the dusty road toward Black Rock City. As said before, you will feel like you are among old friends and it will be home for you.

What you are feeling is perfectly normal, but keep moving with your plans and I assure you that your life will change for the better from here on in.

Welcome to this whole mess and I look forward to seeing you on the playa in a few months.

Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions.

[AntiM]

I was unburdened by fear my first time out. I saw the event online, and an article in Via magazine (Triple A!!!) the next week sealed the deal. I bought two tickets and gave Larry a list of what we needed from the survival guide. I cobbled together some costumes, cooked and froze some meals, threw everything into bins and we went.

I knew no burners, never had heard of Burning Man, never got on eplaya or any other site.

Dirty little secret: our solar shower got greywater on the eplaya. Not a huge amount, and we fixed that after a couple years. No one said anything, but then, we weren't both showering everyday, it was minimal.

Worst thing my first year: my back had "gone out" earlier in the year. I had cortisone shots and went about life as usual most of the time. we were out in the deep playa, by the Red Dice, and my back spasmed. I never have ridden a bike since that day. Larry was sweet and hauled me around in a cart we had with us, a strap around his chest. I did get one ride on an art car, unwittingly going for a wild ride. Larry was off in a different direction, in the Little Black Dress Parade. He had the water! I was in a lot of pain most of the time.

Other worst thing the first year: our friend came along. He only brought gothy club clothes in heavy silk and velvet. No hat or sarong or shades or sandals. No water bottle. Bought a lot of ephedra in the truckstops, and I think he was taking E too. We ended up dragging him to the med tent on Saturday, three bags of saline later, he missed the burn. Had we known what to look for, we'd have made him hydrate better. No longer allowed to camp with us at any event. Too much drama and stress, consistently.

[littleflower]

welcome!

i worried about giving back my first year .... but as others have said, just enjoy it. you can't really know what to expect when you haven't been there! don't mooch, but don't worry too much about participating, either. there will be opportunities to help neighbors and others when you are there. another excellent way to help would be to pick up moop, especially around the esplanade and the big dance camps. and once you know the event, you might see a more official way to participate.

i hope you make it, it really is amazing!

[peacefulhuman]

It's my first time, too, and while I'm not feeling fear about going and being there, I am feeling fear about what it will be like once it is all over.

I have no real expectations of my experience at the burn itself, but knowing me the way I do, I am carrying some fear about what it will be like on that long, long, (long!) solo drive home to So Cal.

Okay, true - I might be feeling relief at that point - relief to be heading home, getting out of there.... Not bloody likely, but technically possible, since I've never been before and thus can't say for certain.

What I suspect will be more likely is that I will have experienced something really new and special to me, something that will have connected with me in some as-yet-unknown way, and I will be leaving it behind. I have never been one for goodbyes.

It's all in how I construct the experience, I know, but the existence of these "decompression" events that I've seen reference to indicate that I might not be too far off base in this.

So here I am, ending the event before it has even begun. Since this was a thread about fear, I thought I would check in with mine. Having just shared it, it feels diminished. I declare that a good thing.

As was mentioned earlier, I also am delighted to be meeting some fellow burners ahead of time, and especially some local ones (shout out to Blues Bob!). So cool to have so much in common with perfect strangers.

Terry

[MistressSybs]

I think your first year don't stress about "contributing" a whole lot. Just be able to survive and don't be a burden on others out there. It's a harsh environment so as long as you can handle that, you're set.

not according to the bitchy posts on tribe... damn! Someone's actually calculating how many new people vs how much registered art is up...

[Savannah]

Burning Man is nothing like Tribe. Heh.

[AntiM]

And the eplaya is nothing like Tribe or Burning Man!

[Sham]

Burning Man is nothing like Burning Man!

[Elorrum]

There is a huge margin for success. Have what you need to take care of yourself, and bring a helpful neighborly spirit to gift to others. You'll see many opportunities to help out. Shine a light for somebody rooting through their backpack in the dark. Help somebody get their costume out of their bike chain. Helping a neighbor set something up in the wind is a good opportunity to make a friend, ask if they'd like a cup of coffee or a cold beverage. You'll do fine.

[Casilias]

Thanks all for the responses. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one feeling a little scared about joining in for the first time. Seeing all your responses and experiences has definitely calm the nerves a bit and entices me to go! I'm planning on buying a ticket soon and am beginning the planning of this adventure!

cheers