Naked Old and Unattractive people on the playa?

[Cassidy]

My virgin experience with public nudity at thirty-something (BM2007):

We arrived at our campsite at night. The next morning, the FIRST thing I saw as the sun was rising was an old, fat, nekkid guy riding by our camp on a bike! He was bubbly all over with many folds on most every body part and a farmer's tan with THE whitest ass I'd EVER seen - I was shocked. I told everybody about it and they laughed, pretty much because of my reaction.

Every morning, he'd ride by our camp and I'd just happen to be looking out onto the street and catch a glimpse of him. He got more and more tan as the week went on, and little bit leaner, I think. I got used to seeing him ride by and by the third day I was waving and smiling at him and saying "Good Morning!".

One thing that never changed, except maybe got bigger, was his huge grin. (stop, naughty!!) He was probably the happiest guy on the playa (that I met). To me, THAT was what made him beautiful.

I'm guessing this attitude adjustment happens to many people out there.

[theCryptofishist]

And please tell why someone "should" wear clothes?

So they don't have to put gloopy sunscreen on their bodies.

And because they have skin grafts and the doner and reciever sites need to be out of intense sunshine.

But that's pretty much it.

[Lord Of Ruin]

So this will be my first year attending the burn.. And my sister just told me it is a total nudist colony and everyone gets naked, and when I think of everyone only 10% (if that) of people are attractive, I assume she was just exaggerating because I have seen some really cool pictures of costumes so i know everyone is not naked. I am bringing my girlfriend and honestly I don't want to have my eyes fall out or be forced to look the other way every time someone walks by us that should be wearing clothes. I wanna keep our innocence from this kind of stuff, So if I attend Burning Man is this just out of the question?

Wow....

Just...wow.

I sure hope this is a troll post. If not, please, please, please stay home.

[Lord Of Ruin]

Fuck...I'm embarassed he comes from the same county as me.

Stay home.

Yup...me too. Costa Mesa here.

[LostinReno]

Ahhh. Naked Tiny Tims.
That's hot.

::wiping oatmeal off my keyboard::

pass me one of those handy wipes, will ya?

Passes Ygmir whole box! (minus ones that cleaned up the oatmeal mess )

Cassidy...love your story!

Last year was my first year at age 42, I'd never really been in a place of open nudity prior, our greeter was completely nekkid other than the little tuft of hair on top of his head (the one on his shoulders) and his sparkly shoes. You do really try not to gawk at first but sometimes you just can't help it, lol. It did take us about an hour to figure out that he was completely shaved and that's what looked so different.
Seriously after about 3 hours, you don't really notice the nekkidness anymore (old, young, male, female, whatever). I guess I should get back to the OP, I would love to be comfortable enough in my own skin to strut around nekkid, but I'm not and really it's ok but I do feel that society puts so much pressure on people to be what is conceived as perfect (seriously, what percent of the popualtion of BM has less than 10% body fat? Ooooh, new Census question! LOL!). If your poor little sad soul doesn't think it can handle what most of the population really looks like nekkid than yes, again, PLEASE....stay home.

[Eric]

the only naked person that ever bothered me out there was the completely shaved female sparkle-pony etard that wondered into our camp eating (and drooling) watermelon & dropping pieces on the ground as she ate. I had a very cute boy in my lap and she kept asking if we wanted to "lick her clean", over and over and over (clue: two men, one lap. Probably not interested in licking her).

I told her to pick up all the watermelon moop she was dropping in my camp & to get out.

She was young & skinny, and Casanova would probably find her attractive. I thought she was one of the stupidest people I've ever met out there......

[oneeyeddick]

Next time redirect her to Ygmir's camp, someone can accomidate her needs there.

[Clar-i-ty]

[quote="Eric"]the only naked person that ever bothered me out there was the completely shaved female sparkle-pony etard that wondered into our camp eating (and drooling) watermelon & dropping pieces on the ground as she ate. I had a very cute boy in my lap and she kept asking if we wanted to "lick her clean", over and over and over (clue: two men, one lap. Probably not interested in licking her).

I told her to pick up all the watermelon moop she was dropping in my camp & to get out.

She was young & skinny, and Casanova would probably find her attractive. I thought she was one of the stupidest people I've ever met out there......[/quote]

Sounds like a great candidate for my favorite Saturday game called, "Make College Girls Cry!"

[ygmir]

Next time redirect her to Ygmir's camp, someone can accomidate her needs there.

once I show her how I can lick my eyebrows, it'll be all over, but the tears.........

[dr.placebo]

So this will be my first year attending the burn.. And my sister just told me it is a total nudist colony and everyone gets naked, and when I think of everyone only 10% (if that) of people are attractive, I assume she was just exaggerating because I have seen some really cool pictures of costumes so i know everyone is not naked. I am bringing my girlfriend and honestly I don't want to have my eyes fall out or be forced to look the other way every time someone walks by us that should be wearing clothes. I wanna keep our innocence from this kind of stuff, So if I attend Burning Man is this just out of the question?

My 100% honest and helpful response: Don't Go!

[phil]

Great troll, casanova. Great troll.

EDIT: In fact, drop me a private message and Louise and I will arrange to give you guys some free playawear on Friday before the burn and take your picture for the Web.

[Sham]

My 100% honest and helpful response: Don't Go!

I think that going would be the perfect cure for this boy and his girl friend.
I have seen such a strange view of nudity from younger people. At the gym that I go to, all the under 25 people change under a towel. (not just in front of me, but anyone) They can wrap it around their waist and and do a complete change and then remove the towel. Some serious hang-ups going on here. I recall swimming nude as a teenager with both male and female friends present.
I would have thought that this next generation would be more open about nudity, but god forbid anyone should see their hoo-ha's, they might actully die.
I don't think this is a troll at all, just a perfectly normal 2010 kid wondering about a subject on his mind.
Casanova, I really hope you make it this year and see what this is all about. It would be nice to see what you think about possibly spending the entire day with your girl friend, (perish the thought) nude. Not right away and not if you're uncomfortable, but keep an open mind.

[Nitevenus]

There is no one more beautiful than someone who is comfortable in their own skin, clothed or unclothed......small or large. That's when the inner beauty shines through and radiates on those around them.

Also, one should never take the words of someone who's never been....ie; "heard it's a total nudist colony" because if they haven't been they DON'T know. Talk to people that have been there and GO !

[Savannah]

Agreed, Shambala. Being around a bunch of nude people who don't give a crap what you think is very healthy. And by "a bunch" I'm guessing fewer than 1 in 20 people at any given time are nude, and not behaving differently than anyone else. There's not a recruitment effort. I've never felt any pressure to be one way or the other. Newbies get used to seeing it after a day or two, and it's actually pretty inspiring towards self-acceptance even if nudity isn't for you. You start thinking "If so-&-so feels okay about themselves, so can I." This doesn't mean your clothes will come flying off. (Although that would be amusing.)

[dr.placebo]

I think that going would be the perfect cure for this boy and his girl friend.

Well, I agree with you about nudity. And if "Casanova" is educable the playa is a good place to learn something about how skin is just another costume. What bugs me is Casanova's "when I think of everyone only 10% (if that) of people are attractive" and "I wanna keep our innocence from this kind of stuff" attitude. So I'll modify my advice, hoping that I'm wrong about him:

If you can go with an open heart and an open mind, then by all means take it all in.

[Isotopia]

Casanova,

What a pathetic, pedestrian troll.

Your faux, sophomoric smugness combined with your saccharine, anticipatory dread at seeing puds, boobs and ass on the playa mark you as a rank amateur insofar as your attempt to pull the collective wool over most of our eyes.

You have been found guilty of being unoriginal and boring.

Come back should the Inspiration Fairy place a funny pill under your pillow.

Ta,

[TobeWilde]

Okay. The secret is out, I'm afraid. Everyone here will blast me when I reveal this huge secret, they may not even allow me to attend, but the truth WILL set us free...and here it is:

ONLY the MOST sublimely beautiful specimens of human life form are allowed at BM.

TRUE.

Once you have posted here, your GPS coordinates and IP address are logged. From there, the BM Powers that Pee look up your address on Zillow. From there they decide if you can or cannot afford a Tier 1,2,3 etc. ticket. From there they also search your phone number. From Reverse Search and Intelius.com they discover your default name...and from there you are Facebooked, Twittered, Tagged, AFFed, Myspaced, LinkedIn, Spoked (and poked...on Facebook), tribed on tribe.net, Googled for gosh sakes, yahooooo-ed. If you venture onto e-playa...the secret webcam software kicks in.

AND all your pics are downloaded, printed, given to THE Committee and the ultimate decision is made whether or not you will be allowed to enter the great and magical city of BRC...ALL based on whether THE Committe finds YOU aesthetically pleasing to THEM. (they have rather peculiar tastes as you might have gathered from the Barbie Death Camp - Golly, I hope neither you nor your innocent gf look like Barbie, or Ken!)

Anyway, its really out of your hands at this point. I do have a recommendation for you though - a SERIOUS one -- get a pair of UV goggles and wear them all the time, dust storm or not. Get the ones with side-blocking panels so your peripheral vision is obscured. This will reduce your chances (IF you are APPROVED to enter the gates) by 33.33% of seeing any offending wrinkled butts, pruney ball sacks, sagging rippled breasts...or the ultimate offender of reigning nakedness supreme...cellulite.

I, HOWEVER, am truly looking forward to meeting you personally! I really hope you get in! I plan on coming right over, giving your girlfriend a naked lapdance (she can check out my wobbly bits back there as I do) and jiggling my ample not-so-perky-anymore milk machines (once upon a time) in your face You're gonna love it! Guaranteed!

[AntiM]

Same Casanova who was wondering if BM was like the rave scene. Good times, good times.

[Fire_Moose]

Casanova,

What a pathetic, pedestrian troll.

Your faux, sophomoric smugness combined with your saccharine, anticipatory dread at seeing puds, boobs and ass on the playa mark you as a rank amateur insofar as your attempt to pull the collective wool over most of our eyes.

You have been found guilty of being unoriginal and boring.

Come back should the Inspiration Fairy place a funny pill under your pillow.

Ta,

Wow...speaking of funny pills....That was a little sub-par dear Iso.

[gyre]

the only naked person that ever bothered me out there was the completely shaved female sparkle-pony etard that wondered into our camp eating (and drooling) watermelon & dropping pieces on the ground as she ate. I had a very cute boy in my lap and she kept asking if we wanted to "lick her clean", over and over and over (clue: two men, one lap. Probably not interested in licking her).

I told her to pick up all the watermelon moop she was dropping in my camp & to get out.

She was young & skinny, and Casanova would probably find her attractive. I thought she was one of the stupidest people I've ever met out there......

Some women like non-threatening sexuality, ie not interested.

Sure you've seen it before.


As for reasons to not be nude, some of us just burst into flames with that much uv exposure.

I do find it difficult to remember to wear clothes before walking out the door when I get back, regardless.

[Sham]

What a pathetic, pedestrian troll.
Your faux, sophomoric smugness

If you spoil my chances to see his girl friend naked, I will never forgive you!

[Elliot]

Well, Casanova, perhaps you ought to join Camp Herring, where nakidudity is prohibited. I know that for a fact, because I helped them install their signs one year.

[Eric]

Some women like non-threatening sexuality, ie not interested.

Sure you've seen it before.

I've been around plenty of women who like to be naked with the gay-boys because we're "safe". I have no problems with that- I love women, I just don't want to have sex with them.

But trust me, Tweaker-bell was too stupid to realize we were gay. The way she was rubbing the watermelon all over herself (and dropping it in my camp while she did so) didn't leave a lot of room for interpretation.

Neither did the polite "um, busy" we started off with in trying to get her to leave. "Go the fuck away" seemed to work best.

I would rather have some nice ol' nekkid intelligent grandparents hanging out in my camp then really clueless "pretty" people- clothed or not.

[Token]

Well, Casanova, perhaps you ought to join Camp Herring, where nakidudity is prohibited. I know that for a fact, because I helped them install their signs one year.

OMFG! I just can't understand why a grown man would pull those socks all the way up like that. Roll em down, let those ankles breathe.

Sheesh!

[Rice]

Wow Casanova, it is amazing how one's first post can get so many negative responses! ???

The beauty of the inner person is so much more important than their outside shell.

Sure there will be naked people at the burn. Yes, some are not exactly the perfect physical specimens. So what??

If this is what worries you, then you are in for a shock!!

There are many pretty people who are complete dooshbags. So, if that concerns you, I am sorry! I don't want to meet you, since your ugliness comes through loud and clear.

Blah!

With love,
Rice

[Sham]

I really don't think that this is a troll. This is the thoughts of a person in their early 20's. Saggy old geezers walking around naked are a concern for them. At very least, a great thread was started and the various age groups are talking it out now. Further, the idea of nudity is very foreign to them and now they may be understanding the event a bit more and that it's not a nudist event---just sporatic nakedness if the situation moves you.

I would commend Casanova for having the guts to ask the questions and to start the thread here.

Casanova, are you still here? Let's hear from you, buckaroo!

[Bob]

Totally on your side, Casanova. Gratuitous nudity isn't Art.

[FaeTora]

Wait. So this ::takes minute to compose myself:: kid thinks that BM is a rave and he's bothered by nudity? Come on. People have full on sex at raves. Of wait, their young. Its just mature bodies he doesn't want to see.

I can't believe this day in age it would bother anyone. Don't you have other things to worry about while there, like where did your campmate pack your tent stakes at? I can't imagine letting a potentially once in a lifetime oppurtunity go just because some people might be naked.

BTW. I'm Irish and have yet to explode when exposing my nude body to the sun, but I do burn quickly so don't steal my sunscreen.

[Bling]

Argh. I'm torn between snark, a reasonable reply, and a hearty fuck you. So here's all three.

If your eyes fall out, you won't see naked people. Problem solved.

Ooh, hard to improve on this response! Genius!

[FaeTora]

I know AntiM has a way with words.