Burning Man changed my wife!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:50 am

My wife came up with the brilliant idea of going to Burning Man in 1999. I thought, why would I go to the fucking desert for fun? I eventually gave in. On our first night, we experienced near freezing temuratures and (reported) 120mph gusts, which tore our camp apart...the next morning, as I was finishing sewing a kilt id been working on, it struck me... I like this place! Probably because someone was blasting Tocatta and Fugue in D minor... But I genuinely fell in love with the desert. I doubt she got the "free love", that she was expecting..as she was too busy complaining about her hair.
After a couple stints with the DMV, she decided she wanted a divorce. As I was "too into Burning Man." Which eventually happened, but I thank her for dragging my ass out there! Id never been soo inspired, after leaving BM!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:52 am

well, then, I thank your wife.....too.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 7:35 am

The things my ex did have everything to do with where my life is now, and I very much like where my life is now.

I sure didn't know it at the time, but she was doing me a huge favor, though I'd not care to repeat it.

Dustdevil · Post by **Dustdevil** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 8:55 am

I have attended every year since 96'. A friend of mine said "there is this great event in the desert and you can shoot all the fireworks you can bring". In 2001 my wife wanted to know exactly what I was doing out there every year. She made me rent an RV and we made the journey together. For the first few years on the way out of BRC she would always comment, "it was OK, but next year you can go and just buy me a ticket to Maui. In 02' we started Brain Freeze camp. We used our margarita machine to make frozen margaritas all day and our electric chair was always an endless source of entertainment. Upon leaving that year her comments were to the effect of "next year we need more mixer and another machine. We also attended the GCBEC that year. Now "The Red One" works for the Fire Art Safety Team and life is good. It certainly changed her, and for the better. And I didn't think she could get any better, what did I know?

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:13 am

Dustdevil wrote:I have attended every year since 96'. A friend of mine said "there is this great event in the desert and you can shoot all the fireworks you can bring". In 2001 my wife wanted to know exactly what I was doing out there every year. She made me rent an RV and we made the journey together. For the first few years on the way out of BRC she would always comment, "it was OK, but next year you can go and just buy me a ticket to Maui. In 02' we started Brain Freeze camp. We used our margarita machine to make frozen margaritas all day and our electric chair was always an endless source of entertainment. Upon leaving that year her comments were to the effect of "next year we need more mixer and another machine. We also attended the GCBEC that year. Now "The Red One" works for the Fire Art Safety Team and life is good. It certainly changed her, and for the better. And I didn't think she could get any better, what did I know?

That's great that you both enjoy it! My wife hated all the work.

EmilyD · Post by **EmilyD** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:16 am

I just told my husband about this thread...he said he's hoping the experience changes me too! ;-o

Post by **Sham** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:48 am

EmilyD wrote:I just told my husband about this thread...he said he's hoping the experience changes me too! ;-o

What could he possibly want changed? We'll have to have a talk with that boy!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:52 am

EmilyD wrote:I just told my husband about this thread...he said he's hoping the experience changes me too! ;-o

Just enjoy it together! And apart...

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Sat Jul 24, 2010 12:11 pm

TomServo wrote:
EmilyD wrote:I just told my husband about this thread...he said he's hoping the experience changes me too! ;-o
Just enjoy it together! And apart...

Works for us. We do a night or 2 together, then start letting the other roam about while the other wrangles the child for the evening.

08 was our first year. Day 1, the Monday dust storm, she had a minor melt down. The rest of the week was def. better. On the way to the burn last year she was talking about doing something else this year. After meeting some of the people I had hooked up with through eplaya who asked if we were coming back again, she immediately chimed in with a hell yes.

Soon we will be in the desert burning again.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:13 am

Wish id known that my first year! But, deep down, I doubt things would be different. Such is life,

peacefulhuman · Post by **peacefulhuman** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:26 pm

LeChatNoir wrote:The things my ex did have everything to do with where my life is now, and I very much like where my life is now.

I sure didn't know it at the time, but she was doing me a huge favor, though I'd not care to repeat it.

LeChatNoir, I think you've been reading my journal.

Looking at last year's calendar, I see that the day my wife decided she didn't want to be married anymore was around the time the 2009 burn was commencing. This year, I'll be attending my first burn to commemorate the first anniversary of the start of My New Life.

And I have recently reached the point where I can see that she did me a huge favor - but like you, I'd not care to repeat it.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:45 pm

peacefulhuman wrote:
LeChatNoir wrote:The things my ex did have everything to do with where my life is now, and I very much like where my life is now.

I sure didn't know it at the time, but she was doing me a huge favor, though I'd not care to repeat it.
LeChatNoir, I think you've been reading my journal.

Looking at last year's calendar, I see that the day my wife decided she didn't want to be married anymore was around the time the 2009 burn was commencing. This year, I'll be attending my first burn to commemorate the first anniversary of the start of My New Life.

And I have recently reached the point where I can see that she did me a huge favor - but like you, I'd not care to repeat it.

It's also an incredibly effective weight loss program!

It was about 10 years ago for me when it began. I don't mark the date it commenced since I don't want to give that whole period that much significance. I do remember the date that things began to shift in another direction, though.

These are stories that are better told in person. I hope we meet up this year and we can sit down and share some time. I will tell you this: My life is richer and more fulling now than I could ever have imagine back then.

peacefulhuman · Post by **peacefulhuman** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 8:43 pm

LeChatNoir wrote:

It's also an incredibly effective weight loss program!

You HAVE been reading my journal!

I'm 40 lbs lighter than I was last year at this time!

LeChat, I'll be at the meet & greet lookin for you, brother.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:14 pm

I hope to meet you all at the Eplaya Meetup. You are all such amazing people and I am happier that you are all in my life and even more excited that you all found Burning Man.

LeChatNoir · Post by **LeChatNoir** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 9:39 pm

Not reading it, I promise... lived a couple of chapters maybe. You've got lots to write yet, too.

I try to make the meet & greet each year and seem to fail. I think I made it once in 07 or something. I'm going to try this year again, though. But if you see us on The Contraption, run and flag us down... seriously. We won't be going very fast.

howjon2001 · Post by **howjon2001** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 6:20 am

I first attended in 1995. My now wife has been twice and is a confirmed Playa Hater. Any talk of Burning Man gets fingers in ear and La la la la.

Fortunately for me - bad for the relationship, I have tunnel vision at this time of the year, especially now I am co-camp manager at a Center Camp spot, but the non-cooperation is oppressive.

My dog and I have fallen in love with Gerlach and the Black Rock. My heart is literally aching to be there now.

Dear Miss Manners....say what....sorry - wrong thread.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:47 am

See what happens when you get married kids? Don't do it.

peacefulhuman · Post by **peacefulhuman** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:58 am

Fire_Moose wrote:See what happens when you get married kids? Don't do it.

Lesson learned.

EmilyD · Post by **EmilyD** » Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:04 am

Shambala wrote:
EmilyD wrote:I just told my husband about this thread...he said he's hoping the experience changes me too! ;-o
What could he possibly want changed? We'll have to have a talk with that boy!

Oh aren't you the brown-noser? How can one NOT change every day that they live on this crazy planet? Putting yourself into a radical new situation will bring change faster. I welcome it because I am not afraid of change, never have been, never will be. ;-)

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:10 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:See what happens when you get married kids? Don't do it.

For once, I'm with the Moose.

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 12:18 pm

Yeah...marriage...not for me. But I think it's awesome for the people that want to experience it.

I will say....the playa really makes or breaks a relationship.

Also, if I hadn't been with my ex, I would not be where I am today. It hurt so bad when it was happening, but I am thankful every single day. I love my life.

CaptainNemoOfTheNautilusX · Post by **CaptainNemoOfTheNautilusX** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:06 pm

My ex took me to my first burn in 99 (really dragged and begged me to go). We broke up on exodus. My next ex went once in 02â€™ and wanted nothing to do with BM afterwards. Seems the room service and accommodations are lacking at the Lake Lahontan resort. My current love (more my soul mate than any of the previous) really enjoys BM even contributes to the Nauty beast in significant and wonderful ways.
BM will make or break a relationship. All for the better of the entire BM community. No reason to have people in our lives that canâ€™t hang with our life styles or enjoy the wonders and gifts of our desert home.
I will be forever grateful that I started going and participating in the BM event! I can not imagine what my life would be or who I would be without BM as apart of it.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 10:10 pm

My wife went once, in 2005. She didn't really want to go for any particular reason other than to be the center of my attention. But I had committed to an art project that year that took up most of my time from the week before the event until about Wednesday of event week. It ended up sucking because I couldn't devote the attention to the project that I wanted to nor could I devote as much attention to her as she needed.

One night was really funny and sort of tells the whole story. We were in bed in the little pop-up. It was probably around 11pm and we had been in bed for a good while. I got up to pee and walked down to the pots. On the way back was a camp of really nice folks with a burn pit on the corner so I stayed and talked and drank beer with them. I made it back to the camper before daybreak so I was probably gone 4 hours or so. Just as I got in the camper I realized .... I have to go pee again. I was laughing at the irony of it, she wasn't amused.

The next year she said if I went to BM, I could return to a different abode. So I did.

teardropper · Post by **teardropper** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:22 am

We did 'most everything together, except Critical Tits. This year will be more independent. She has friends she wants to do things with. I'll spend more time being there by myself. Except this year, I'll do Critical Tits with her.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:39 am

I've seen a few marriages on the playa. And I can't help but imagine how cool that would be! Even though BM had the opposite results on my marriage. I wonder how their relationships are doing.....

dnightshade · Post by **dnightshade** » Tue Aug 17, 2010 7:19 pm

Burning man > your wife

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:51 pm

dnightshade wrote:Burning man > your wife

Burning Man poked my wife?

peachandpapa · Post by **peachandpapa** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:41 pm

In 2004 I had no interest in my wife except how I was going to end our marriage. We were in a bad way for over a year and the end was coming fast. Somehow, she dragged me--kicking and screaming--to the playa. In all honesty, that first week on the playa saved our marriage. The playa gives us a platform to indulge in life, ourselves, and each other. We are more in love now than ever in our 18 year marriage. Each Burn, we grow closer. Forget counseling, Burning Man is the magic elixer! Burn-On!

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:08 pm

peachandpapa wrote:In 2004 I had no interest in my wife except how I was going to end our marriage. We were in a bad way for over a year and the end was coming fast. Somehow, she dragged me--kicking and screaming--to the playa. In all honesty, that first week on the playa saved our marriage. The playa gives us a platform to indulge in life, ourselves, and each other. We are more in love now than ever in our 18 year marriage. Each Burn, we grow closer. Forget counseling, Burning Man is the magic elixer! Burn-On!

Yup....

notonmysofa · Post by **notonmysofa** » Wed Aug 18, 2010 10:12 pm

Went for the first time in 2000 with my then girlfriend now wife, she convinced me to go. Had a fucking miserable time. We rallied and went again and it was epic. Been going every year since except for last year because of our beautiful baby girl. Both going again this year. Our compromise after year 1 which has made it work is I go for the week and she comes up Thursday. I get to goof off with my buddies and build shit and she gets to dance.

I wouldn't say this thing has made us or kept us together but it's definitely strengthened our relationship by forcing us into situations that require trust, communication, empathy, and having an insanely fucking good time.

Burning Man changed my wife!

Burning Man changed my wife!

Past Lovers & BM