Place your dick jokes HERE.
- oneeyeddick
- Posts: 5592
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:08 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Location: Probably in your pants
Place your dick jokes HERE.
I need some new Dick jokes , whatta ya' got?
please feel free to cut and paste
please feel free to cut and paste
We have an obligation to make space for everyone, we have no obligation to make that space pleasant.
- Sham
- Moderator
- Posts: 8646
- Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:10 am
- Location: The hidden mythical place.....

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12-inch pianist
There is this guy who walks into a bar and notices a man 12 inches tall playing the piano. He asks what it is all about and the barman tells him he'll tell him later.
So he asks the barman for a drink and the barman says,
'Before you get your drink you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make a wish.'
'OK,' says the guy.
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and, boom, out comes a genie, who says,
'You have one wish.'
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
He tells the barman,
'Hey, I didn't want a million ducks.'
The barman replies, 'You think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?'
- Trishntek
- Posts: 3463
- Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 9:27 pm
- Burning Since: 2010
- Camp Name: Retrofrolic!
- Location: Ventura, CA, USA
- Contact:
Yeah it's old,,,,,
Two guys peeing off a bridge.
One says, "Man, that water's cold!"
Other one says, "Yeah, it's deep too!"
Two guys peeing off a bridge.
One says, "Man, that water's cold!"
Other one says, "Yeah, it's deep too!"
RETROFROLIC, the place of Pink, Pain and Pleasure!
http://www.retrofrolic.com
Some call me Tnt,,,, works for me!
http://www.retrofrolic.com
Some call me Tnt,,,, works for me!
- Frankenstipe
- Posts: 72
- Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:19 pm
- Location: Arcata, CA
- Fire_Moose
- Posts: 2488
- Joined: Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:40 am
- Location: Scottsdale, AZ
- Contact:
- Sham
- Moderator
- Posts: 8646
- Joined: Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:10 am
- Location: The hidden mythical place.....
There was this mohel who saved of the ends from years of doing circumcisions and he had his wife sew them into a nice little wallet. He tried to sell this wallet for $10,000. The person who wanted to buy this (OED) said, "what are you crazy, it's not worth $10,000"? "Rub it" said the mohel, "it turns into a suitcase"!
- Semper_Dad
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 4:29 pm
- Location: Washington
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- Posts: 3045
- Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:47 pm
- Burning Since: 2002
- Camp Name: alone
- Location: Carson City. About 125 miles south of BRC
One morning a boss of a small company arrives at his office, unaware that his zipper was down and his fly wide open.
"Good morning" he says to his female secratary, "Good morning" she replys. "Sir" she contiues, "when you left your house this morning did you close your garage door?"
He told her he was certain he closed it and walks into his office puzzled at the question. He finshed some paperwork and then noticed his fly wide open and he zipped it up. Now he understood the question about his garage door posed by his secratary.
He heads to the breakroom for a refil of coffee and paused at her desk and asked
"When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?"
She smiles and says "No, but I saw your old mini van with two flat tires".
"Good morning" he says to his female secratary, "Good morning" she replys. "Sir" she contiues, "when you left your house this morning did you close your garage door?"
He told her he was certain he closed it and walks into his office puzzled at the question. He finshed some paperwork and then noticed his fly wide open and he zipped it up. Now he understood the question about his garage door posed by his secratary.
He heads to the breakroom for a refil of coffee and paused at her desk and asked
"When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?"
She smiles and says "No, but I saw your old mini van with two flat tires".
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!
"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem." Ronald Reagan
"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem." Ronald Reagan
- oneeyeddick
- Posts: 5592
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:08 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Location: Probably in your pants
- MistressSybs
- Posts: 236
- Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 1:56 pm
- Location: Texas
It's Halloween and this little old couple are getting dressed up to go out...
The wife goes into the bedroom and re-appears wearing nothing but a lemon hanging from a rope around her neck...
Without a word the husband shakes his head, chuckles a little and goes into the bedroom to get changed as well.
He reappears in a few minutes grinning from ear to ear with nothing more than a potato hung by a rope around his neck.
The wife says, "what the fuck are you going as?" the husband says, "well I figure if you're going as a sour-puss I can go as a dick-tater!"
The wife goes into the bedroom and re-appears wearing nothing but a lemon hanging from a rope around her neck...
Without a word the husband shakes his head, chuckles a little and goes into the bedroom to get changed as well.
He reappears in a few minutes grinning from ear to ear with nothing more than a potato hung by a rope around his neck.
The wife says, "what the fuck are you going as?" the husband says, "well I figure if you're going as a sour-puss I can go as a dick-tater!"
- oscillator
- Posts: 578
- Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:30 pm
- Location: heading north on forever street
- Contact:
- oneeyeddick
- Posts: 5592
- Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:08 pm
- Burning Since: 1996
- Location: Probably in your pants
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him.
So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He points to his eye meaning "I", points to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his dick and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you I'm coming!"
So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him.
So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.
He points to his eye meaning "I", points to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.
The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his dick and starts masturbating.
The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".
The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you I'm coming!"
We have an obligation to make space for everyone, we have no obligation to make that space pleasant.