Best Line Today

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:54 am

"I went to a Chinese restaurant last night and they had a suggestion box. I wrote 'Free Tibet'. Not sure how they took it.."

gerlachedNloaded · Post by **gerlachedNloaded** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:43 am

ninjas will find you and eat your face...
long live the HHDL.

OregonRed · Post by **OregonRed** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:01 pm

Went into a local fast-food joint w/ my daughters. There was a group of 5 local frat boy/yahoo types in front of us in line behaving in the way the frat boy/yahoos behave. After one of them literally steps on my sixteen-year-old daughter's feet for the second time, she turns to me and says loudly, "Who let the douche brigade in?"

The guy looks at her and says, "Did you just call me a douche?"

My daughter looks at him and says, "Yeah. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

The kid opens and closes his mouth a few times, looking rather like a fish, then turns his back to us, and my daughter says "That's what I thought!"

I LOVE my kids!

VeganChoirGirl · Post by **VeganChoirGirl** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:53 pm

OregonRed wrote:Went into a local fast-food joint w/ my daughters. There was a group of 5 local frat boy/yahoo types in front of us in line behaving in the way the frat boy/yahoos behave. After one of them literally steps on my sixteen-year-old daughter's feet for the second time, she turns to me and says loudly, "Who let the douche brigade in?"

The guy looks at her and says, "Did you just call me a douche?"

My daughter looks at him and says, "Yeah. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

The kid opens and closes his mouth a few times, looking rather like a fish, then turns his back to us, and my daughter says "That's what I thought!"

I LOVE my kids!

I just laughed so hard I could hardly breath!!!!

OUTSTANDING! Clearly you have done a fabulous job with your children.

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 5:41 pm

My nephew did a similar thing. My older sister had a hysterectomy and was laying on the couch healing when her second oldest turn to her and ask with a very serious face.

"Mom! What did they do with your Eucharist?"

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:22 am

Roxanne: I guess I mistook sex for love.

Waitress: Oh, I did that once. It was great!

from the film based on the play

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:26 am

Don't trust anyone over 30!

Was said by many 19 year-old's in 1969.

Now they are 60.

Don't trust anyone over 70 said by a 60 year-old seems rather ... silly.

Amazing how different we are with only a few years between us when we are young and how little difference those few years make when we get older.

Just something I thought about when considering an art project ... sort of impromptu ... for BM 2010.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:06 am

"There is no chinese character for nimby."

economics expert on the charlie rose show

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:25 am

Associated Press headline:

"Man suspected in semen attacks in Md."

Well duh! Who would suspect a woman in a "semen attack"?

Simon of the Playa · Post by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:13 am

Washington State: "Deliverance" without the funny accent.

geekster · Post by **geekster** » Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:09 pm

"There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist."

Ayn Rand

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sat Aug 21, 2010 12:28 am

"She was so good, I wanted to get off and watch."

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sat Aug 21, 2010 9:38 pm

got a card from my sister with a little dog on cover. says, "I am dreaming of a birthday wish for you"
open card: "I hope you also wish for table scraps, and a nice place to pee."

Sanddog42 · Post by **Sanddog42** » Tue Aug 24, 2010 9:48 pm

If I get pulled over in Arizona and the cop says "Papers" and I say "Scissors", do I win?

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sat Aug 28, 2010 3:29 am

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson said he was "rather fond of villains going to prison".

Bob Bitchen · Post by **Bob Bitchen** » Sat Aug 28, 2010 5:06 am

When I was born the doctor said to my father "I'm sorry we did everything we could but he still pulled thru"

Bob Bitchen · Post by **Bob Bitchen** » Sat Aug 28, 2010 5:08 am

One year they asked me to be poster boy -for birth control. :lol:

Bob Bitchen · Post by **Bob Bitchen** » Sat Aug 28, 2010 5:27 am

My wife & I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sun Sep 12, 2010 11:17 pm

Asked of Chilli Palmer in the film Be Cool, after someone waiting in his house to kill him was shot to death, by someone else trying to kill him....

Who are all these people trying to kill you?

"I don't know.

But I'm in the music business now.
Could be anybody."

lol

MistressSybs · Post by **MistressSybs** » Mon Sep 13, 2010 4:14 pm

Flipside 2009 - so this 'surprise' storm rolls in over the hills... most people are heading up to camp to cover their belongings (us included)... someone yells across the creek... 'hey it's starting to storm'... little movement comes from the hot burners enjoying the creek... same voice hollers out again 'hey there's lighting! it's dangerous! you should get out of the creek!'... one lone voice hollers back, "we signed the waiver!"

The entire creek erupts in laughter!

We laughed so hard about this as we put up our rain flies in 35-40mph winds and then had to hold down the event shade through the last 20 minutes of the storm! We didn't have our lines set since most often there's no rain and / or wind... learned our lesson that year I tell ya.

15 minutes past the storm, our town crier, came out announcing that this message was about 45 minutes to an hour late but that a strong line of storms with lightening and heavy winds should be hitting us momentarily... I love Flipside!

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:29 pm

Do you know what gets out grass stains... and kahlua?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Sep 15, 2010 6:10 pm

gyre wrote:Do you know what gets out grass stains... and kahlua?

work for drink program again?...........

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Sep 15, 2010 6:13 pm

Originally asked by a girl.

What guy cares about grass stains?

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Sep 15, 2010 6:16 pm

gyre wrote:Originally asked by a girl.

What guy cares about grass stains?

*swing and a miss. strike one*

don't take the job, if, you can't balance the drink.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:06 pm

The CO wrote:Gnomes don't get lost. They run away. And they are not to be trusted.

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sun Oct 10, 2010 7:40 am

"I came in to shop for a studfinder, because the dating sites aren't working for me."

in tool dept. at Lowe's Friday.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 3:54 am

"It's tai chi.
It's an ancient form of exercise and meditation."

"It originated in the far east, in a place called los angeles."

FaeTora · Post by **FaeTora** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:08 am

At Mychievia sitting on the effigy with French Camp -

"I never frenched a fuck girl"

The CO · Post by **The CO** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:00 am

Elorrum wrote:thanks yg. You are a good trivian.

The correct term is "spermalogger". A person who collects trivia.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:18 am

The CO wrote:
Elorrum wrote:thanks yg. You are a good trivian.
The correct term is "spermalogger". A person who collects trivia.

"spermologer"

CO:
your spelling makes me feel dirty...........

but, then again, these guys are loggers, and, they're "ok".

[youtube][/youtube]

Best Line Today

From a FB friend