I'm a virgin burner, heading to the playa for the first time (omg! omg!), and I've never posted before, but I'm bringing my companion/pet flamingo Number One to the burn with me and I have a few concerns about him and his safety/survival on the playa.
First off, the elements. He can be quite cranky most of the time, and I think he may have trouble being healthy and happy in the middle of a dust storm. Has anyone dealt with a flamingo (or any other bird) in the type of environment that we're likely to encounter on the playa? I'm preparing to bring extra booze to keep him, well, drunk (he's happiest when drunk) but I'm worried that if I don't bring enough and if he sobers up in the middle of the burn, things might get... unpleasant? In your experience, how much whiskey does an average flamingo consume during the burn, and would something more potent (maybe absynthe?) be more effective, or would it exacerbate the dehydration and general unpleasantness of the situation? Could he dry out on the playa? It would probably be good for him. I'm also worried that he might find the stash of alcohol I'm planning to bring for gifting and demolish it. Would a serious conversation before the burn be enough to get him to appreciate and respect my boundaries? He also can't cook worth a damn, and while I bringing enough supplies to keep us healthy, I worry about him skipping meals and not taking appropriate care of himself.
Secondly, he has a terrible attitude about life in general. I've noticed he often has pretty serious doubts about himself and deals with them by thinking the worst about people without even really knowing them. I don't want to leave him in the tent alone too much, but I'm also worried that if I bring him out he will put other people off, and I might find it difficult to make friends with him around. I know he should be radically self-reliant, but I wonder: if he needs me, can I say no? I guess boundary setting is a big issue for us, and I was just hoping for some advice on how to manage his expectations, and ensure I have enough personal space to enjoy life on the playa without leaving my good friend (who truly is a part of myself) in the dust, as it were.
Another thing I'm concerned about is his territorial nature. As the physical manifestation of my Id, he has a big problem with people "on his turf" like some kind of adolescent frat boy. It's something I have trouble with. As long as people don't make eye contact (or at least assume some kind of submissive position) he's generally fine. In most cases his aggression is turned on himself, so people interpret it as shyness, when really it's a sort of fight-or-flight reflex. There have been a few... incidents where his unquenchable appetite for sexual stimulation has placed me in awkward situations. I've come to terms with it, and try to accept him as he is (because he is really part of me after all.) But I'm just worried about other people on the playa, and making sure that he understands and respects people's boundaries, while still trying to make the kinds of connections he so desperately wants to make. I live in fear that he will escape, act inappropriately and wreak havoc, so I do my best to keep him in check, although I wonder if I'm not preventing him (and me) from experiencing everything there is to experience in an environment like the burn. I've planned for us to attend a workshop with the B.E.D. so hopefully that will help.
I think I might be worrying too much. I've taken him to a couple of different burner events here in Toronto and he's comported himself with sufficient distinction, even if I had to rein him in a few times. I guess I'm just wondering if maybe I shouldn't let him loose on the playa, for at least a night or two to see what comes of it. Can he make mistakes on the playa and it'll be ok? Will he ruin it for everyone else? It's a pretty difficult thing to work through. I mean, I've read all the 'how to handle relationships at burning man' literature I can get my hands on, but all of it seems to be focussed on human/human interactions, and I can't find anything on human/plastic flamingo/physical manifestation of my own unconscious desires relationships, which I think are the most challenging.
Anyway, If you catch me with or without Number One on the playa, please say hi. It's my first burn, but I feel like I'm heading home for the first time in my life. I'm excited to work with my injection molded avian friend to figure out how him and I can work together better, and get to know each other and ourselves better.
I'll attach a picture here, of us at a decomp party that happened in Toronto. It was one of the rare times where we really got along and had a connection that I haven't felt before or since.

Also, if he doesn't get access to it, I'm going to have lots of drinks to gift! So lets hope he never finds my extra key so I can toast you and all the other amazing people I'm going to meet in... oh dear god... twelve days.




