Sexual Violence

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Thu Jul 01, 2004 10:53 am

technopatra wrote:
Yes, I mean according to our social mores, which I hope to heaven are not going away anytime soon. Boundaries are the landmark of civilized cultures, and some of them should not ever be crossed.

And then there is Burning Man!

The separation of the technical part of sex and the emotional part is tanatmount to the overall knowledge and pleasure of sex and love.

I wouldn't want to too, nor have my child, marry or fall in love with my first just because she or he was the first or the first one good at sex. There are other criteriors that must met before love is to happen, but to be satisfied in bed will keep more relationships together longer then just bad sex and being loved.

Robert Heinlein saw a world that was perfect to him and he wrote about it in his books. if you read his books he was truely in love with his mother- ie "The man that lived forever". That was his perfect world.

I don't believe in having a relative be your sex guide, but I don't believe that people that have an older mentor teach them about sex- if they truely are proficient in sex are wrong or bad for doing so, in fact I think that to be very advance.

I am amazed at how many women I have been intimate with, say that they never had sex like that before and I don't think for a second that I am the sex Messiah. Its just that they have had such bad sex parners.

After I had instructed the preliminaries about sex and love, I would have a sex ed teacher teacher instruct my child about the ins and outs (no joke) of sex and relationships then provide a professional or mentor for them to work out the details in the actual performance of sex. This would cause less confusion and/or rejection at an early developemental stage that could cause serious phychological harm or perhap turn them into sexually violent people.

Sex ed in school is bullshit and may cause more harm then good!

A II Z

Mithra · Post by **Mithra** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 1:07 am

technopatra wrote:
Please tell me you are not in any way serious and that I am just somehow missing the irony.

No irony. I'm not suggesting the incest part just the mentor part, incest is optional. I completly understand that most people would see this as abhorant, just as other folks from other times in history would see some of our conduct abhorant. I guess what it comes down to is treating sex like roller skating or cleaing your room. An every day occurance that is normal and natural and expected.

technopatra wrote: 2 - Having a systemized physical introduction to sex is about the most dehumanizing thing I can imagine. Let's teach kids that sex is all about technique and should be entirely cut off from emotion. Make it be all about power, which is always a factor in dealings with children, especially sexually active ones. Great. Just great.

Teach them about pregnancy and STDs, discuss the interconnectedness between sex and emotion, teach them about the importance of respect and of differing views of what sex means to different people, then let them fumble their way to ecstasy at their own pace. They'll be better people for it.

I asumed the education part was a given. Why is fumling good? How many people especially women have bad initial sexual experiences that color their future experience for years?

Of course sex isn't about the physical, the orgasm. This is truely a case of "the joy is in the journey." Anyone who is focused more on their own pleasure than their lovers during sex is missing the point. It is important to know your body, to know how to what you like. Most women I've had relationships with didn't know their bodies very well, which is really sad.

technopatra wrote: 3 - Are you really citing consentual incest as being anything but supremely harmful? That is just sick and wrong. Yes, I mean according to our social mores, which I hope to heaven are not going away anytime soon. Boundaries are the landmark of civilized cultures, and some of them should not ever be crossed.

Like I said above, I'm proposing the mentor part, boudries are good, I have mine and respect others. I also encourage people to have them and communicate them. It's rather important in burner circles. I'm extreamly culturely flexible, I also can't spell for shit. Boundaries are personal and cultural but I think the personal ones are far more important. I could really give a shit less what "civilized cultures" think are exceptable. I've never looked outside myself for moral direction. If BM was to follow what is concidered exceptable boundiaries of what is "civilized" it would not exist. [rant]God I had the word "civilized" it give me connotations of taming the savage beast and what not.[/rant]

technopatra wrote: 4- There are sex education classes for adults. Lots and lots of them. Andwho wolud want to screw a gomer, anyway?

Unfortunatley for most women, most men are gomers....of course most women are gomers as well.

Mithra

Trying to degomerize the world, one gomer at at time.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 4:42 pm

Mithra wrote:
Trying to degomerize the world, one gomer at at time.

One Gomer here signing up!

Alright- it's all relative (no reference to incest) anyway!

A II Z

Mithra · Post by **Mithra** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 6:38 pm

Damn it A II Z your making my point! Only people who didn't need degomerizing would want to be degomerized!

The question is, how do we get the gomers to realize they're gomers and bring them over to the dark side, er...I mean get them to see the light. Unfortunalty the answer is you don't. You wait for them to wake up and find they're way.

Maybe we could administer some kind of test at the gate (like it's hard to tell who the frat boys are) and give them a big sign to wear arround they're necks. "Help me, I don't get it" Girls would no to be weary and hell who can turn down someone lost that needs help. No, this is not a real suggestion, just a quick break from reality.

Mithra

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:03 pm

Mithra wrote: Maybe we could administer some kind of test at the gate

Yes and now that the Bush Administration has approved (very reluctantly)
the 20 min HIV test, we can now test for that at the gate.

An additional fee added to the ticket could bring back the "Free Sex" era I miss so much.

"I'm a Gomer and HIV free!" signs for everyone!

A II Z

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 7:37 pm

The question is, how do we get the gomers to realize they're gomers and bring them over to the dark side, er...I mean get them to see the light.

Ever heard of a 'clue bat?'

Best observed being weilded by a woman aiming at or above the knees.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 8:25 pm

Violence begets violence

A II Z

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Fri Jul 02, 2004 8:27 pm

Violence begets violence

Yeah, but dead men don't rape either.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:38 am

society is the rapist and tradition is her mentor and violence is her vehicle!

A II Z

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 5:11 pm

society is the rapist and tradition is her mentor and violence is her vehicle!

Where the fuck did you run into that lame metaphor?

Lydia Love · Post by **Lydia Love** » Sat Jul 03, 2004 6:31 pm

A mentor / student relationship is one that is built on inequality of power. Power **play** between consenting adults can be fun, thrilling, yada yada yada... an actual power imbalance between sexual partners risks emotional harm to the person without the power.

I'm with Badger on the clue bat, btw.

Apollonaris Zeus · Post by **Apollonaris Zeus** » Mon Jul 05, 2004 1:16 pm

Badger wrote:
society is the rapist and tradition is her mentor and violence
is her vehicle!
Where the fuck did you run into that lame metaphor?

It's original and since you don't like it must be good.

So Ha, I'll make it my signature- for a while at least, you no good badgering bagdererer
erh!

A mentor / student relationship is one that is built on inequality of power. Power
**play** between consenting adults can be fun, thrilling, yada yada yada... an actual power
imbalance between sexual partners risks emotional harm to the person without the power.

I agree unless power is willingly subjugated.

I still don't agree about violence unless it is needed during the apprehension of a rapist
or to protect the victim- "sorry officer I overreacted and didn't mean to blow his head off."
Once caught and subdued, I would leave it to the courts. I would never take action based on
rumors or charges filed since I would have no way to confirm a persons guilt or perhaps even
the framing of an alleged perpetrator by a perhaps revengeful, dejected or ulterior motive
from an alleged victim.

Kobe- a case in point and the many lynching of blacks in the south and other victims of character assassinations by disturbed persons.

So I'll change my position to no use of violence to depending on the situation demands.

A II Z

Here's question for you,

"How would you feel if a child molester was to move into your neighborhood or if you heard that a guy dating
your best female friend was a convicted child molester?"

Would you drag him into the street and bash his knees in or would you try to break up your female friends relationship up?

WildChyld · Post by **WildChyld** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 9:11 pm

im really sorry that this happened to your friend, but even more sorrowful is that it doesnt surprise me in the least. 2 separate burns i attended as a single female and on more than one occassion i was grabbed, handled, etc without the male in question asking permission. Last year i actually had a drunk guy that i had said no to earlier in the night attempt to climb into my tent with me when i was sleeping. Luckily i was able to get him out on my own but there are times when others havent been so lucky.

There are thousands of wonderful, caring, consentually loving burners out there. We all need to rely on each other to find safety in an environment that is full of yahoo danger so that we can both express ourselves freely and not have to worry about our boundaries being crossed without permission.

My recommendations as a crisis counselor for anyone ( especially females)
1) carry a 2 way radio and know someone else whos using the same channel for emergencies.
2) When possible travel in groups ( ESPECIALLY if you're planning on accepting foreign substances from strangers or vague aquantainces)
3) If you do insist on wandering off alone, bring your own drinks, don't take from random strangers, a free shot isnt worth it ...trust me.
4) Surround yourself with campmates that can help you out if things get out of hand and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
5) If someone is bothering you and you're around strangers, dont be afraid to reach out to a nearby camp for help or flag down a ranger.

Badger · Post by **Badger** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 12:29 am

6) Carry a 6" meat cleaver with the words "No Means No" engraved on both sides of the blade.

6a) Hide another under your sleeping bag with the words "I said....NO!"

Rian Jackson · Post by **Rian Jackson** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 9:08 am

Badger wrote:6) Carry a 6" meat cleaver with the words "No Means No" engraved on both sides of the blade.

6a) Hide another under your sleeping bag with the words "I said....NO!"

I need to get me one of those!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 1:00 pm

If you bring the cleavers to the playa, you can get them etched with the inscription on one side and a logo of the man on the other. At "Cutting Edge" camp.

BTW--cool avatar there, Rosie.

MoisturePup · Post by **MoisturePup** » Mon Nov 22, 2004 2:36 pm

phoenix from the playa wrote:NOT IN MY CAMP, NOT AT MY PARTY NOT ON MY PLAYA ....

I call on every man who even THINKS they want to attend a burn. Bring an answer to the party! How will you protect and defend your community from a rapist and sexual aggression?

For anybody intersted in this topic, and would like to join a group of volunteers working to minimize the number of sexual assaults on the playa, please go to http://brcsap.tribe.net and ask to join the tribe. We'll be happy to have you there.

Sexual Violence

Sexual victims

Re: Sexual Violence