I thought there was a thread for sharing good mixaphors somewhere in the past, but I can't find it. So we've got a new one. Anyone come across good mixaphors lately?
Yesterday, my boss used "One back scratches the other," and couldn't figure out why I was laughing.
Mixaphorically speaking...
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Ranger Genius
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Mixaphorically speaking...
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”
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theCryptofishist
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Ranger Genius
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Okay, this thread died the death a long time ago, but there's a whole new crop of eplayans since then, so who's got some juicy mixed metaphors for me to add to my collection?
Recent acquisitions:
"That's opened the floodgates to Pandora's Box of worms."
"It's hardly rocket surgery."
"He's a few bricks short of a picnic."
"He's got one foot in the bucket."
"The devil is in the pudding."
"All hands on deck for an uphill battle."
"You made your bed, and ate it too."
Recent acquisitions:
"That's opened the floodgates to Pandora's Box of worms."
"It's hardly rocket surgery."
"He's a few bricks short of a picnic."
"He's got one foot in the bucket."
"The devil is in the pudding."
"All hands on deck for an uphill battle."
"You made your bed, and ate it too."
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”
We're barking up the wrong bush.
And crossing the same lines...
She was all hot and bothersome.
So are you bored, RG, or is this one of those weird mensa games that have no point?
Here's some mathy stuff.
Two triangles are in a club on 125th street.
If the band starts playing something hot, will they get up and dance or sit there like two squares?
Never fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
And crossing the same lines...
She was all hot and bothersome.
So are you bored, RG, or is this one of those weird mensa games that have no point?
Here's some mathy stuff.
Two triangles are in a club on 125th street.
If the band starts playing something hot, will they get up and dance or sit there like two squares?
Never fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
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velocirafter
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velocirafter
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velocirafter
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Sham
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This is not exactly mixaphoric, but it's along the same lines and very interesting. Sorry for the long post.
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Subject: Paraprosdokian sentences: A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Going to your house of worship doesn't make you a religious person, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Subject: Paraprosdokian sentences: A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Going to your house of worship doesn't make you a religious person, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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Ranger Genius
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I already have a whole book full of those, Sham, including almost all of the listed ones. You're missing one of my favorites:
"Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines."
I'm just a man of odd enthusiasms. Although, I have been thinking of writing a story starring a Dirk Gentleyesque character who speaks in mixaphors, misplaced modifiers, and malapropisms.
Smoke and daggers wins a prize.
Throwing money down the rabbit hole.
As plain as the egg on your face.
Like pulling hens' teeth.
He smokes like a fish.
He's fiddling around with his guitar.
Looks like we're back to ground zero.
The fickle finger of fate has reared its ugly head.
Keep 'em coming.
"Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines."
I'm just a man of odd enthusiasms. Although, I have been thinking of writing a story starring a Dirk Gentleyesque character who speaks in mixaphors, misplaced modifiers, and malapropisms.
Smoke and daggers wins a prize.
Throwing money down the rabbit hole.
As plain as the egg on your face.
Like pulling hens' teeth.
He smokes like a fish.
He's fiddling around with his guitar.
Looks like we're back to ground zero.
The fickle finger of fate has reared its ugly head.
Keep 'em coming.
“We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.”
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Ugly Dougly
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