Playa Relationships

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 11:56 am

I am now dumber for clicking and scanning that thread.

Dr. Pyro · Post by **Dr. Pyro** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:30 pm

Dumber? I don't see how that's possible.

ConnieH · Post by **ConnieH** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:49 pm

Eric wrote:Anyone who goes thinking they're going to get laid a lot on the playa is pretty much bound to have their expectations crushed...

LOL - ain't that the truth!

This year was hard on our relationship for the first part of the week, a huge surge of jealousy blew up in me as I watched all the hot young girls fawn over my cowboy as he gave them rides on the Bull. He never did anything to make me worry or doubt his fidelity, but he was consumed with his project, so I felt left out in the cold and shit started brewing in my head. By Wednesday I was feeling pretty low and finally had the good sense to talk to him about it...we had a heart to heart, I got the attention from him I desperately needed, and things went MUCH better after that - the rest of the week was beautiful and I put 2010 down as my best burn yet.

I learned a lot about myself this year, and some of it wasn't pretty. The playa has a way of bringing out deep emotions and if you are ill equipped to deal with them, it's gonna have an affect on your relationship. For us, luckily, it strengthened our relationship and taught me that I need to tell my man what I need when I need it, instead of retreating and stewing and expecting him to notice while he is being overstimulated by all the playa has to offer. Bottom line - communication is key. If you bring any expectations with you, you better damn tell your partner what they are, because he's not a mindreader

Oh - and bring lube!!

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:28 pm

Dr. Pyro wrote:Dumber? I don't see how that's possible.

LOL - ain't that the truth!

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:46 pm

Thanks for your post Connie, I'll be at my first burn with my new bf. He's a burner and I worry about how I'll feel regarding a few things. He knows a lot of people. men and women. And I've seen pictures of his female friends. They're all young and so pretty.

I'm guessing I'll have to be strong and hope that he'll remember that I'm there. I don't expect him to cater to my every need. And he discussed that he'll want to go off by himself at times. Is that a common thing?? I have no issues with that. I suppose I'm a fairly traditional person, however I want to dispose of certain things in my life I feel is holding me back...jealousy, trust issues. I want to free my soul of all the imprinted unrealistic expectations of how life should be (white picket fence, 2.5 kids, you know, Father knows Best). I know he loves me. And sure love him. So I guess this will be a test for me.

I enjoyed your comment. Thank you!

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:49 pm

maryanimal wrote:And he discussed that he'll want to go off by himself at times. Is that a common thing??

Yes, and it's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to hook up with anyone out there and potentially lose my ability to wander around on my own.

Post by **mdmf007** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:09 pm

Boijoy wrote:Im not really the stalker type. It requires WAY too much effort. I'm kinda a lazy ass. I'm able to accept the one "no" & move on.
No still means NO you know???

Thats Quitter Talk....

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:35 pm

Artemis wrote:
maryanimal wrote:And he discussed that he'll want to go off by himself at times. Is that a common thing??
Yes, and it's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to hook up with anyone out there and potentially lose my ability to wander around on my own.

I can understand that!! Since he's a longtime burner he'll have friends to meet up with. I'd like to meet his friends. If he wants to go out alone for a while that's fine! I want to do the same, however being my first time I want to see and experience things with him.

snake · Post by **snake** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 2:52 pm

artemis, wow. i had read that thread earlier...but never went back for the end. ahhhhhhh.

Artemis · Post by **Artemis** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:06 pm

snake wrote:artemis, wow. i had read that thread earlier...but never went back for the end. ahhhhhhh.

hope it wasn't a bummer....but wow indeed

ConnieH · Post by **ConnieH** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:27 pm

maryanimal wrote:Thanks for your post Connie, I'll be at my first burn with my new bf. He's a burner and I worry about how I'll feel regarding a few things. He knows a lot of people. men and women. And I've seen pictures of his female friends. They're all young and so pretty.

I'm guessing I'll have to be strong and hope that he'll remember that I'm there. I don't expect him to cater to my every need. And he discussed that he'll want to go off by himself at times. Is that a common thing?? I have no issues with that. I suppose I'm a fairly traditional person, however I want to dispose of certain things in my life I feel is holding me back...jealousy, trust issues. I want to free my soul of all the imprinted unrealistic expectations of how life should be (white picket fence, 2.5 kids, you know, Father knows Best). I know he loves me. And sure love him. So I guess this will be a test for me.

I enjoyed your comment. Thank you!

This was our second burn together (his 8th, my 3rd), last year was easier, mainly I think because we were newly in love and in that "can't keep my hands off you for 10 seconds" phase, and we also didn't have big theme camp responsibilities. We went off without each other several times (never overnight however) and that never bothered me, it was the times in camp when I was less than 20 feet away and felt like I could disappear and he wouldn't notice, that bothered me. We had a long talk about that, he admitted that he had been a little too focused on his project, to the point of obsession, and also shared with me that many in camp were leaning on him and pulling him in many different directions, adding to his distraction, but that he always knew when I was there, and he took comfort in knowing I was nearby. Talking it out with him was the best thing we could have done, I only wish I had done it a day or two earlier.

Once we got it all out and he understood how I was feeling left out and taken for granted, he gave me permission to slap him if I needed to and demand he pay attention to me

I'm really not that insecure or needy, but everyone needs attention sometimes and I have trouble asking for what I need when I need it. So I guess my best advice is to talk, talk, talk about what each of you expect, trust him and support him, and if you are feeling left out for some reason, cheerfully try to join what he's doing (don't sulk like I did!), and if that doesn't work, slap him and make your feelings known! Some guys LOVE to be slapped

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 3:55 pm

Dr. Pyro wrote:Dumber? I don't see how that's possible.

It can be done, believe me.

(sweet snark jab by the way.. I should have seen that one coming..)

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:03 pm

ConnieH wrote:
maryanimal wrote:Thanks for your post Connie, I'll be at my first burn with my new bf. He's a burner and I worry about how I'll feel regarding a few things. He knows a lot of people. men and women. And I've seen pictures of his female friends. They're all young and so pretty.

I'm guessing I'll have to be strong and hope that he'll remember that I'm there. I don't expect him to cater to my every need. And he discussed that he'll want to go off by himself at times. Is that a common thing?? I have no issues with that. I suppose I'm a fairly traditional person, however I want to dispose of certain things in my life I feel is holding me back...jealousy, trust issues. I want to free my soul of all the imprinted unrealistic expectations of how life should be (white picket fence, 2.5 kids, you know, Father knows Best). I know he loves me. And sure love him. So I guess this will be a test for me.

I enjoyed your comment. Thank you!

This was our second burn together (his 8th, my 3rd), last year was easier, mainly I think because we were newly in love and in that "can't keep my hands off you for 10 seconds" phase, and we also didn't have big theme camp responsibilities. We went off without each other several times (never overnight however) and that never bothered me, it was the times in camp when I was less than 20 feet away and felt like I could disappear and he wouldn't notice, that bothered me. We had a long talk about that, he admitted that he had been a little too focused on his project, to the point of obsession, and also shared with me that many in camp were leaning on him and pulling him in many different directions, adding to his distraction, but that he always knew when I was there, and he took comfort in knowing I was nearby. Talking it out with him was the best thing we could have done, I only wish I had done it a day or two earlier.

Once we got it all out and he understood how I was feeling left out and taken for granted, he gave me permission to slap him if I needed to and demand he pay attention to me I'm really not that insecure or needy, but everyone needs attention sometimes and I have trouble asking for what I need when I need it. So I guess my best advice is to talk, talk, talk about what each of you expect, trust him and support him, and if you are feeling left out for some reason, cheerfully try to join what he's doing (don't sulk like I did!), and if that doesn't work, slap him and make your feelings known! Some guys LOVE to be slapped

You wrote down the sum of all my fears Connie. I hope he reads this and gives it a lot of thought. I wear my heart on my sleeve. (I need to take something for that too!) I'm sure he'll be open to talk things out with me.

Post by **Elderberry** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:25 pm

maryanimal wrote:
Artemis wrote:
maryanimal wrote:And he discussed that he'll want to go off by himself at times. Is that a common thing??
Yes, and it's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to hook up with anyone out there and potentially lose my ability to wander around on my own.
I can understand that!! Since he's a longtime burner he'll have friends to meet up with. I'd like to meet his friends. If he wants to go out alone for a while that's fine! I want to do the same, however being my first time I want to see and experience things with him.

Assuming he is not a complete and total ass, and you are not an over possessive bitch, don't worry about it. I'm confident he'll make sure you are having a good time. (At least that was my experience with my partner.)

JK

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:48 pm

Artemis wrote:Yes, and it's one of the reasons I'm hesitant to hook up with anyone out there and potentially lose my ability to wander around on my own.

My ability to wander around on my own is so finely honed and ingrained...

looking at Burning man as an opportunity to get rid of baggage is great. Sometimes just misplacing baggage, or setting it aside for a week is a wonderful thing. Just don't expect you'll know what that baggage is in advance. What gets worked, what gets exercised, what bubbles up, what brings you joy, what you may do... what'll it be, baby? Don't plan on those chores now.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:07 pm

Well folks...I think as of tonight, sad to say and with a few tears in my eyes, I'll be going alone. I guess I found out some things that aren't going to work. And it's breaking my heart as I write this. I'm not looking for sympathy, I guess it's just life happening.

So I want to thank you all for all the wonderful comments and support. And for that I'm forever grateful. It's so true...you are all a wonderful group of caring people. And if I had a few friends like you life would be more of a treasure than it already is.

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:23 pm

Dang MA.......dang it all........well, come on out and, you'll have a ton O' fun anyway.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 8:51 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:Uhhh Boi, you didn't get the memo?

There was a vote and now no means yes.

Actually, I vetoed that.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:00 am

maryanimal wrote:Well folks...I think as of tonight, sad to say and with a few tears in my eyes, I'll be going alone. I guess I found out some things that aren't going to work. And it's breaking my heart as I write this. I'm not looking for sympathy, I guess it's just life happening.

So I want to thank you all for all the wonderful comments and support. And for that I'm forever grateful. It's so true...you are all a wonderful group of caring people. And if I had a few friends like you life would be more of a treasure than it already is.

I say you'll probably have a better time, able to enjoy your new-found freedom without constantly worrying and feeling guilty about someone else.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:39 am

Not to mention that it's better to know NOW than to find out on the playa.

Especially on.. um... burn night. Where you're cooking dinner for the camp and go to grab smokes and find your alleged BRCSO and someone else fucking... in YOUR bed. (Thanks for leaving the wet spot... ewww....) STILL grosses me out thinking about it.

Anyway, don't be down, consider it a gift. You can now go out with a clean conscience, be your OWN woman, and do (or not to) as you wish. With out having the baggage (make that ugly baggage) that goes with it!!!

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:44 am

Mary, you may travel to the Burn alone, but I think you can see, you won't be alone once you ring the bell..... welcome home kiddo, welcome home............

ConnieH · Post by **ConnieH** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 8:50 am

C.f.M. wrote:
maryanimal wrote:Well folks...I think as of tonight, sad to say and with a few tears in my eyes, I'll be going alone. I guess I found out some things that aren't going to work. And it's breaking my heart as I write this. I'm not looking for sympathy, I guess it's just life happening.

So I want to thank you all for all the wonderful comments and support. And for that I'm forever grateful. It's so true...you are all a wonderful group of caring people. And if I had a few friends like you life would be more of a treasure than it already is.
I say you'll probably have a better time, able to enjoy your new-found freedom without constantly worrying and feeling guilty about someone else.

I totally agree with C.f.M, I went single my first time and was glad to have had the experience as my OWN, before I met my BF. There is a great deal of value in that. I'm sorry for your sadness...life sometimes has other plans for us.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:31 pm

Gawd!! you all are fuckin great!!

I LOVE YOU MAN!!!

Teo del Fuego · Post by **Teo del Fuego** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:35 pm

This year was my best Burn ever and it was with the new girlfriend. We got along famously, just as we do in Defaultia. It helps a lot that Miss Lu is the most easy-going, low maintenance, and self-confident women around. It also helped that I warned her in advance that staying hydrated is a real weakness for me and that getting grouchy when dehydrated is a common side-effect of my dehydration. The blessed soul carried around an extra large water bottle and kept shoving it in my face at regular intervals.

Out of respect for her, I tried hard to avoid my old single-guy routine of letting my eyes fall, and rest, on pretty treats.

My advice for playa relationship success: date 40 or 50 whackados before finally meeting a cool, experienced Burner girl friend. It makes ya work extra hard to be a worthy boyfriend.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:52 pm

LMAO!! Pretty treats!! That's cute! I'm just like Miss Lu. Low maintenence, laid back, easy going and for the most part self-confident! Hey I'm awesome!! I think we can work things out. But even if I had to go alone I could do it.

SeaCo,pression is this weekend and I'll be getting my first "taste" of BM! YaHooOOOoooOoOooOoo!

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:05 pm

SeaCompression in 2, count 'em, 2 days!! It'll be worth the 5+ hour drive!
So where is everyone! This can be a thread about anything!

Like, some radical church group is coming to town to protest.

SPOKANE -- Messages of hate shouted through the Inland Northwest on Thursday, but instead of ignoring the message or responding with violence, Spokane stood strong and united.

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church came to Spokane, armed with signs thanking god for the death of soldiers and for cancer.

"You have taught your children, that is why we are hitting all these schools, that's where they sit and are taught rebellion," shouted one Westboro member..

One small group of activists were met with hundreds of people near Gonzaga, prepared to stand together and drown out those words with the peaceful strength of their community.

Police were on hand as the six activists spread their message of a "doomed" America.

"This is breast cancer awareness... each time you have a dead woman from breast cancer - that is a god smack," shouted another activist.

At just 13-years old, Jonah Phelps is one of Westboro's youngest ropers, as they're called. Phelps says he came to Spokane to talk about the sins of America.

"Fags, that's definitely one," said Phelps. "Priests rape children, fornication."

The rhetoric, marred with hateful messages, was critical of America's role in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

"Don't send your spoiled rotten child you have taught to rebel against every standard and every principal, over to a foreign land to use their people as target practice," shouted another Westboro member.

The people of Spokane responded. Some showed up on motorcycles to drown out the noise

"I am just a guy in the community who is trying to do something good," said one of the riders.

Others played music over the sounds of the protestors, hoping a more powerful message would prevail.

"We're just standing up for the thousands and thousands of people in Spokane," said Nicole Beam.

With a very clear purpose, hundreds answered the call against hate.

"I felt it was important for the community of Spokane to expel hate," said Drew Pollom, organizer of Gonzaga's sit-in.

After the they were finished at Gonzaga, Westboro members went to Whitworth University where they were faced with just as many people working for the good of the community.

Westboro protesters planned to be outside Ferris High School when classes were let out, but school officials made the decision to dismiss students early. Still several hundred students and community members showed up to greet Westboro activists.

Activists were planning to protest outside a South Hill synagogue Thursday evening, before heading over to Coeur d'Alene for another full day of protests outside schools on Friday.

What a bunch idiots. They went to High schools, universities, now the news say they're headed for a synagogue. It's all gpoing on right now in my city! They're like the plague permeating the city. I can liken them to locusts, chewing through and being everywhere at once.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:54 pm

The only sin... is hate.

These hatemongers from fracking KANSAS claim to be Christians, but they use that lie to spread their devil's work, spreading hate and violence and trying to make people HATEFUL, not loving.

They're - Anti-christians.

I think... there's a thing in one of the biblical books about people pretending to be Xtians and doing the work of Satan... so I guess thse fucks (make that pitiful fucks) ARE believers, per se...

Maybe Phelps is hoping that someone kills him, and being a "religious leader" it will start this armagaeddon thing (yeah, that's in the book, too)... puts doofus Failps in the same leauge as Dubbya's mom. Nutcases, all.

I really feel sad for them. They condemn themselves with their own false beliefs, pushing their deceit as truth, and spreading the word of their own false prophets, eg themselves.. Worse... this whole commandment stuff? Why do they use God's name for their own vain purpose? Kinda... sinful by their own rulebook. Penalty, major disregards for the rules of your own religion, infinite yard penalty, and get sent WAY down.

DON'T get me started on religion - I'm just crazy enough to start preaching and shit!!! >>grins<<

bb

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:00 pm

These "people" are hate mongers and what makes me crazy is they're having young children do their dirty work. Thesed children have been brainwashed and will be psychologically scarred for life. For instance that young boy shouting things about "fags, (his words NOT mine) fornication" etc. What the hell does he really now about that stuff. Just what he learned from those cretins who claim to be christians. He'll never be able to form an opinion of his own.

I hope they leave soon. I'd like to meet one down an alley, day or night. I was watching the news this afternoon and they were shouting their obsenities at anyone they approached.

Maybe if this phelps idiot does die, he'd be that groups' martyr...and that's all.

SPOKANE -- For many in Spokane, Thursday was the first time theyâ€™ve ever had to face the Westboro Baptist Church â€“ a radical group known for its protests of military funerals. So who are they? Why do they spread a message most see as hate speech?

Members of Westboro protested at multiple Spokane universities, schools, and a synagogue. They held signs that read â€œGod Hates Fagsâ€

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 8:59 am

fwiw, they are well known on the board. And they are tricky, using law as much or more than protests to further their agenda.

And yes, vile to use children like that.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Oct 22, 2010 9:03 am

theCryptofishist wrote:fwiw, they are well known on the board. And they are tricky, using law as much or more than protests to further their agenda.

And yes, vile to use children like that.

It's really not much worse then the brainwashing used in other parts of society. Churches, schools, TV, etc.

and thinking more about it, i don't think it's brain washing as much as it is "programming"