The BEST bacon recipe EVER!!

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:44 pm

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rach ... index.html

(...keep on to the comments...)

Post by **AntiM** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:34 pm

Dammit, I laughed so hard my mesh insert hurts! Damn you, Ray Ray!

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:15 pm

mmmmmm bacon

delle · Post by **delle** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:24 pm

That was hilarious.

Shame about the change of tone on the second page. Looked to me like the "Normal Police" herded all the fun folk right outta there at one point.

Up till then tho, I was Very Interested in bacon allasudden!

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 6:15 am

Rachel is so hot. I wanna thrash her while she's bent over a counter making sangwiches.

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:25 am

I think at this point you would take pretty much anything bent over a counter..

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:31 am

junglesmacks wrote:I think at this point you would take pretty much anything bent over a counter..

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:53 am

junglesmacks wrote:I think at this point you would take pretty much anything bent over a counter..

I think, yer autistic.

oneeyeddick · Post by **oneeyeddick** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:39 am

We are all autists in one way or another.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:07 pm

oneeyeddick wrote:We are all autists in one way or another.

Of course we are! It's one of Larry Ten Principles!

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:20 am

oneeyeddick wrote:We are all autists in one way or another.

+1 lol

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:25 am

Me, I'm an auteur.

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:37 am

C.f.M. wrote:Me, I'm an auteur.

SHIT!!!

/trys to find all his old receipts

Ranger Genius · Post by **Ranger Genius** » Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:19 am

I made the terrible mistake making this in the morning and it turned my microwave into a portal to another dimension. Then, a bizarro Tom Cruise crawled out of it and now he won't stop hitting on my Wife.
Ray Ray, please, how do I close the portal? You've got to help!

I wish I hadn't wasted eight bucks on "Due Date" and had just read these reviews instead.

ETA:

Rachael, you are my favorite food personality. You are very loud and I think yelling is great on TV. I was unable to find "bacon" at my local store. I was able to find "Bacon Bits" but after over 2 hours in the microwave they barely even changed color. So I threw the Bacon Bits away and microwaved some 1000 island dressing on top of 5 paper towels. After 6 min I ended up with very hot, orange paper. Guess what? IT WAS DELICIOUS! You have totally got to try it! I call it "Late Night Thousand Island Roasted Paper Pizza." If you use this recipe on your show, I only ask that you give me credit for. Don't be a jerkface and steal my idea. I trust you but I've got my eye on you

Enyala · Post by **Enyala** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:05 pm

This has absolutely made my day, so much so that I have come out of lurking

"This looks so good and easy, but I don't have paper towels. Can I use aluminum foil instead? Please advise.

UPDATE: I used Kleenex tissues with Vicks to absorb the grease and they left a funky taste on the bacon. Will the tissues with aloe vera fare better? Please advise.

UPDATE: I saw that my post was removed by "accident", so I reposted it, as I didn't receive any advice. Please advise."

I don't understand why the Food Network keeps removing my review. Oh well...I'l just keep posting it. I think everyone should know not to use Vicks scented Kleenex to absorb bacon grease. "

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 9:23 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:Rachel is so hot. I wanna thrash her while she's bent over a counter making sangwiches.

junglesmacks · Post by **junglesmacks** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:03 am

Nothing says legitimacy like it's own Facebook fan page..

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Late-Nigh ... 927?v=wall

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 2:17 pm

junglesmacks wrote:Nothing says legitimacy like it's own Facebook fan page..

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Late-Nigh ... 927?v=wall

Great FB page! Love it! Love bacon!!

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:36 am

To give this discussion a little context for later: the infamous recipe, posted here before it gets deleted there, as some people on the food network site have said that their remarks have been, already, by what I take to be an embarassed Food Network administrator, who realises how silly the Network is looking, at this point. I can't seriously picture the Food Network daring to claim that this doesn't fall under fair use. We are talking about something that tells the reader to stick the bacon between sheets of paper toweling and shove it into the microwave. Nothing that really can be copyrighted, so I hope the moderators on this board will use a little restraint and common sense.

"Ingredients

8 slices bacon

Directions

Place 2 sheets of paper towel on a microwave safe plate, lay the bacon out on the paper towel not overlapping the slices. Place 2 more sheets of paper towel on top. Place in the microwave on high for 4 to 6 minutes. "

Yep. That's the whole thing. A few of the responses, with links back to the profiles of those posting them:

"I don't know what everyone is complaining about. This was a great recipe. I mean, even I had my doubts about how bacon would taste between the four strips of paper towel, but they soaked up the grease and it tasted great. The best part is, you can eat it all like a sandwich by leaving the paper towel flat, or roll it up like a burrito! My only question to the recipe maker is, does different paper towels bring different flavours or textures to the meal?"

link

"I think a nice glass of water would wash down this bacon well. So I get the glass out of the cupboard... but I'm not really sure what to do next. I would appreciate any help. Thanks."

link

"O.M.G. Food Network actually posted this recipe???? I can't believe it! I can't print it out fast enough!My Great-Great Grandmother used this recipe and it's been passed down through the generations and mine was lost to a kitchen fire. YEARS I have been looking for this. YEARS!!!!! I'm just, I don't know what to say.......(sniffle I have to call my mom........she's never going to believe it."

link

"Well, unfortunately, my microwave blew up due to my attempts to prepare "afternoon pork n beans" (recipe neglected to tell me to remove them from the can (DAMN YOU MARTHA!! so I attempted this recipe over my gas stove (Ramsey never mentioned a pan - DAMN YOU! unfortunately, the drippings from the bacon erupted in a nuclear mushroom cloud of hot grease, singeing my eyebrows and searing my nose hairs.The doctor gave me a cream for the 2nd degree burns & my plastic surgeon says it'll only take 2 grafts to return to somewhat normal. Never did get my bacon though. Meh, I'll stick with toast. Now, where's the fork? I gotta clean out the toaster"

link

"I can't find the bacon button on my microwave! please help!"

link

"I was craving this last night but I don't know anyone named 8 to come over & slice bacon. I thought if I ran over to a local crackhouse I'd find someone named 8-Ball [close enough] to slice it for me but all I met was a 1-armed crackhead named Tweaker Joe. I figured I could just pay him to go by 8 for the night. He came over but being 1-armed he had difficulty slicing it so it was pretty thick. I asked him to lay the bacon but he had a slightly different idea about what that entailed so things got awkward. Downside: pervasive smell of urine in my kitchen & I can't find my cat. I may tweak the recipe but now I know exactly who to call upon for help!"

link

"You didn't specify which brand of paper towel - I used Bounty and it totally absorbed all my bacon. WTF?"

link

"AWESOME. I didn't have paper towels, so I used a couple of maxi pads for super absorption of the bacon grease. Works wonders!"

link

"You are so dumb, really really dumb, no one realizes why she called it late night bacon. Duh! It has to be precisely 10:04 pm for the lightning to strike the clock tower to produce the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity needed to cook these 8 bacon strips. Hats off to you Rachel, you've got my attention. You can run and tell that."

link

"Rachel, I'm in a bind. Paper towels can get mighty expensive so we don't buy them. Can I substitute toilet paper for paper towels? If so, how many pieces of toilet paper do I use? Keep in mind that we do not use the fancy 2-ply kind. Alternatively, if I can steal some Kleenex with Aloe from work, could I use that? I believe the Kleenex would do a better job being a 'pillow' for the bacon, and we all know comfortable bacon is tasty bacon. Plus, the aloe might add a little something to the bacon flavor of the bacon infused Kleenex. Finally, I feel that Kleenex might be more appropriate to serve to company than toilet paper. Please advise."

link

"Whoa- 2 paper towels on top AND bottom? Easy there, Rach, I'm not a Rockerfeller."

link

"This recipe is missing crucial information. For starters, it doesn't say exactly how many PBRs you have to consume prior to making the bacon. Also, how are you supposed to make the microwave aware of the time? The clock on the machine doesn't read "AM" or "PM" so how will it know it's for late night bacon? What if it gets confused and thinks it's morning bacon? Has anyone else had this problem?! Help!!!"

link

"RR, I can only give this recipe two stars. It's categorized as easy, but in reality requires a fair amount of math.

2 sheets of this, 2 sheets of that, 8 slices of something?!

And, to add insult in injury, you make us figure out which of the 120 seconds between four and six minutes the bacon will be done?!

Too much math for so late at night."

link

"Can you trademark recipes? Cause I think I had this while eating fourth meal. Wait, maybe it was only second meal. Anyway, we better not let the major chains catch on to this and ruin it with their fancy marketing. I love the thought that right now, I'm one of the very few that's in on this Late Night Bacon craze.

Also, Yo mama so stupid, she makes Late Night Bacon early in the day."

link

"I don't care how long it took, I will never buy pre-cooked bacon again! YUMMO!!"

link

"This recipe was OK, but my girlfriend and I have such different tastes that we had to modify it slightly. See, she prefers late night sausage, while I am partial to delicious muffins late at night. So we made the bacon, threw it away, and used the grease to help put the sausage into the muffin and make a McMuffin that we could both enjoy. The sausage slid around the muffin a little too much with all that grease, but it just made things more entertaining in the end. 3/5, would try again."

link

Thinking that they're not really talking about pork products in that last one. Or maybe they are.

lonestoner916 · Post by **lonestoner916** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 2:59 am

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 7:09 am

Nothing that really can be copyrighted, so I hope the moderators on this board will use a little restraint and common sense.

Wha? huh? Why would any of us delete bacon-related hilarity? Not like the bacon is dispensing death threats or posting personal information.

Seriously, I don't get your comment, or perhaps I don't get your view of the role of mods here. We're more hall monitors than anything. Besides, you're quoting, not stealing. I'm good if you are.

I like restraints. Oh, Wait. Nevermind. Off topic.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 7:36 am

I'm not a Rockafeller!

Ha! That was a good compilation, I needed the laugh!

I don't have a microwave.

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 7:49 am

How can you make 'sploding Peeps without a microwave?!

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 7:53 am

I only have a macrowave...

standardalias · Post by **standardalias** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:23 am

saturday morning we found ourselves eating peanut butter, nutella and bacon sandwiches. they were as delicious and they were unnutritious.

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:11 pm

AntiM wrote:
Nothing that really can be copyrighted, so I hope the moderators on this board will use a little restraint and common sense.
Wha? huh? Why would any of us delete bacon-related hilarity? Not like the bacon is dispensing death threats or posting personal information.

Ehhh ... better to bring this up before a deletion occurs than after, and mods elsewhere have been known to be quick on the draw when the subject of an alleged copyright violation has come up. In this case, were the food network to complain about the reprinting of Rachel Ray's so-called recipe in court, the following would almost certainly follow:

1. Given that the recipe offers nothing of any substantial originality, and the Food Network does not stand to lose any profit as a result of the distribution of this non-effort, the judge would almost certainly toss such a case out of court with a vengeance, I understand, having asked a few lawyers in my family about this. What the "vengeance" would consist of, would be a non-appealable fine from the bench. Judges, as a group, tend to get really angry when they feel that their time is being wasted.

2. The story of such an action would get out, and the Food Network would never live it down. Going to court to fight for one's intellectual property rights in the case of a suggestion that one nuke bacon wouldn't just be unreasonable, it would be funny. Pure blogging gold.

So, if the mods take the time and think about it, as I take it you did, they'll see that any copyright issue is going to be an illusion, at most a technicality without teeth. My concern was that somebody would react hastily, see a reprint, and just hit the delete key before the non-issue ever had a chance to arise.

AntiM wrote:Seriously, I don't get your comment, or perhaps I don't get your view of the role of mods here. We're more hall monitors than anything. Besides, you're quoting, not stealing. I'm good if you are.

I'm good.

AntiM wrote:I like restraints. Oh, Wait. Nevermind. Off topic.

Boijoy · Post by **Boijoy** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:15 pm

Am I hearing "Late Night Bacon Camp" ??? hummm...

Post by **AntiM** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:54 pm

Here and there wrote: Ehhh ... better to bring this up before a deletion occurs than after, and mods elsewhere have been known to be quick on the draw when the subject of an alleged copyright violation has come up. In this case, were the food network to complain about the reprinting of Rachel Ray's so-called recipe in court, the following would almost certainly follow:

1. Given that the recipe offers nothing of any substantial originality, and the Food Network does not stand to lose any profit as a result of the distribution of this non-effort, the judge would almost certainly toss such a case out of court with a vengeance, I understand, having asked a few lawyers in my family about this. What the "vengeance" would consist of, would be a non-appealable fine from the bench. Judges, as a group, tend to get really angry when they feel that their time is being wasted.

2. The story of such an action would get out, and the Food Network would never live it down. Going to court to fight for one's intellectual property rights in the case of a suggestion that one nuke bacon wouldn't just be unreasonable, it would be funny. Pure blogging gold.

So, if the mods take the time and think about it, as I take it you did, they'll see that any copyright issue is going to be an illusion, at most a technicality without teeth. My concern was that somebody would react hastily, see a reprint, and just hit the delete key before the non-issue ever had a chance to arise.

I'm a slacker when it comes to copyright violations. Since this board is very nearly 100% parody, it is all fair use as far as I'm concerned.

Deletion happens primarily for spam posts, misguided commerce, and posts containing the RL personal information of others. Even personal attacks and threats tend to stand. We did experiment with deletion of attacks, but the fine grey line is more like a deep fog. If an honest effort is made to credit the origins of the material, I am good. I am no lawyer, which is defensible.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 9:30 pm

peeps 'splode in microwaves?

Here and there · Post by **Here and there** » Fri Nov 19, 2010 10:59 pm

AntiM wrote:I'm a slacker when it comes to copyright violations. Since this board is very nearly 100% parody, it is all fair use as far as I'm concerned.

A sensible approach, actually, if I'm remembering this correctly. Until the holder of a copyright sends you a takedown notice, I believe you enjoy the safe harbor protection afforded third party providers, unless you've done something to forfeit it.

Thank you for clearing that up.