Buying Empire!

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:32 am

I know what this town really needs! We need a Ms. Burnerville! We can hold a pageant of all the wiling ladies in town and vote for the best choice! And as a part of the pageant, there will be specific portions of the program:

Talent (i.e. singing, macrame plant hanger making, loudest belch, tractor pull)

Evening Gown (Mom's old wedding gown, thrift store find, potato sack)

Swim Suit (use your imagination here)

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 11:48 am

Let's also have a vacuuming, dish washing, and blow job portions.

Post by **Sham** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:25 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:Let's also have a vacuuming, dish washing, and blow job portions.

We really don't NEED vacuuming and dish washing!

We could add basket weaving and furniture moving!

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:41 pm

Uhhh where are we going to get clean plates?

Post by **Sham** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:45 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:Uhhh where are we going to get clean plates?

As long as they keep blow jobs, who really cares about clean plates!

Fire_Moose · Post by **Fire_Moose** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:02 pm

I never thought about it like that, you really know how to put things into perspective sham!

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:59 pm

Thats why he's the head mahout!

Post by **Sham** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:15 pm

FIGJAM wrote:Thats why he's the head mahout!

I like that attitude FIGJAM. I think I have a place for you as Cabinet Secretary. Someone needs to keep track of this stuff!

Deb Prothero · Post by **Deb Prothero** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:20 pm

that's what I like to see - an Open Door Cabinet

Post by **Sham** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 4:36 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:I never thought about it like that, you really know how to put things into perspective sham!

Fire Moose, would you consider the job of Fire Chief? It doesn't pay much, but you get to play with fire.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:00 pm

Thanks Sham, but I think I'll be the towns suburban hermit.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:01 pm

Yeah FM! and you can play with your hose too!

Post by **Sham** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:15 pm

FIGJAM wrote:Thanks Sham, but I think I'll be the towns suburban hermit.

Ok, but only if you will drive a 1985 Mercury Marquis station wagon with an American flag tied on the antenna and all your belongings and some scrap metal, and cans in the back.

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 5:51 pm

Sound like a misery wrapped in an enima.

Under those conditions, I may have to rethink my choice.

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:36 pm

This is for you ygmir:

@ the 1:05 mark is ygmir and the cast of mayberry..

[youtube][/youtube]

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:41 pm

Oh Dave..........you and your wacky humorous hyjinx!!!

you are such a nut!!

*slapping knee, spitting grits all over aunt Bee*

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 8:53 pm

We could have a ferris wheel when we have our summer fair and expo!

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:12 pm

"The future fair. A fair for all and no fair too anybody. Yeeees its just starting nooooooow!"

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:38 pm

Post by **Sham** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:06 am

ygmir wrote:

You know yag, I always have respect for you, but in this case, the idea of building a figure of a human out of burnable materials and then setting it ablaze is just plain stupid! What would possess these numbskulls to waste their time doing that crap? I'm offended by this!

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 8:56 am

Shambala wrote:
ygmir wrote:
You know yag, I always have respect for you, but in this case, the idea of building a figure of a human out of burnable materials and then setting it ablaze is just plain stupid! What would possess these numbskulls to waste their time doing that crap? I'm offended by this!

better yet, traditionally, it was filled with people, before being set alight!!

Can you say" roasted long pork"? Free food, and, the hippies can bring cabbage for cold slaw!!

now, what do you have to say, mr.: "Smarty pants, mayor, short sighted, uninformed, nay-saying buzzkill"?

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:24 am

ygmir wrote:
Shambala wrote:
ygmir wrote:
You know yag, I always have respect for you, but in this case, the idea of building a figure of a human out of burnable materials and then setting it ablaze is just plain stupid! What would possess these numbskulls to waste their time doing that crap? I'm offended by this! :roll:
better yet, traditionally, it was filled with people, before being set alight!!

I thought that was only after a really Bad harvest.. But then in Empire, wed be burning people every year...

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:20 am

TomServo wrote:
ygmir wrote:
Shambala wrote: You know yag, I always have respect for you, but in this case, the idea of building a figure of a human out of burnable materials and then setting it ablaze is just plain stupid! What would possess these numbskulls to waste their time doing that crap? I'm offended by this!
better yet, traditionally, it was filled with people, before being set alight!!
I thought that was only after a really Bad harvest.. But then in Empire, wed be burning people every year...

depending on the village, it could be:
bad harvest
Beseeching the Gods for something/sacrifices
or
filled with criminals
or, any combination thereof.

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 10:59 am

maryanimal wrote:We could have a ferris wheel when we have our summer fair and expo!

And what every good fair needs as well is a roller coaster

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mommy!

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:17 am

Sail Man wrote:
maryanimal wrote:We could have a ferris wheel when we have our summer fair and expo!

And what every good fair needs as well is a roller coaster :lol:

:shock: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

mommy!

We were camped across the street from them in 2004. Seem to remember it needing repairs after every run. Pussys!

Sail Man · Post by **Sail Man** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:51 am

Well then, maybe a simple teeter totter instead

Aiee! It burns! · Post by **Aiee! It burns!** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 2:10 pm

did u steel that sign from the highway .

Post by **Sham** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:00 pm

ygmir wrote: better yet, traditionally, it was filled with people, before being set alight!!

Can you say" roasted long pork"? Free food, and, the hippies can bring cabbage for cold slaw!!

now, what do you have to say, mr.: "Smarty pants, mayor, short sighted, uninformed, nay-saying buzzkill"?

Ok, ok, I have an idea that will put our little town on the map.
Why don't we hold some sort of festival that has a stick figure of a person that we can party around for a week, and at the end of the week, we light it on fire and dance wildly then send everyone home afterwards.
We can make this strickly alcohol and drug free and make sure that people stay clothed all week. We can expel them if they break the rules.
So not to interfere with that "other thing" down the road, as well as not having to deal with oppressive heat and dust, we can hold it in the dead of winter and have the last day of this event on Valentine's Day every year.
I'll bet we can attract dozens of people to this wild party.

Any thoughts on this proposal?

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:06 pm

Heart Burn?

ibdave · Post by **ibdave** » Fri Dec 17, 2010 6:16 pm

FIGJAM wrote:Heart Burn?