Fuck!

[graidawg]

fuck! i just checked my email and my friend, who gave my dad a job 20 odd years ago working at his gliding club has just had his business shut down, he got 1 days notice by the county to close his gliding and refuelling business.

i donrt know the ins and outs but FUCK man that seems rough, to get told in this climate that you have to stop trading NOW. i mean he has employees and, wel,l a busines he has run for about 25 years i mean its his livelyhood

FUCK

[maryanimal]

Well, there was a lump felt in my left breast during a physical exam. Going for a mammogram next week. Breast cancer doesn't run in my family, however, the doc said we'll see what's what after the mammygram.

I've decided not to worry my family as I haven't told them yet. I haven't told a friend of mine, don't really know how'd they react. The fear of rejection could be a posssibility.

I'm sure I'm ok, but I'm scared to death right now.

fuck

(((Eric))) I know about bad knees. I hope you finally get the help you need and come to BM so's I can meet you!

(((IBD))) Hang on sweetie! I'm thinking about going back to school to become an LPN and at my age, that'll be a big life change.

[Savannah]

I hope it's just a false alarm, maryanimal. I'd be freaked out too. Fingers crossed, eh?

I'm actually supposed to get a baseline mammo pre-40, because 1 immediate relative had it, but thus far I've been . . . avoidant. Not smart. I'm trying to gird myself up for it and maybe let this be the year.

[theCryptofishist]

maryanimal
If you can't tell these people, who can you tell? Yeah, strangers on the net.
Of course it's your news and you get to pick your time and place, but my guess is that most people will rise to the occasion, and in time you'll be glad to let go of those who choose not to.
After my accident, people I've known for years, people I've only met on line or on the playa and people I never knew existed rallied around me, in a way I don't think about often enough, because it's so overwhelming. So, yeah, maybe I have an overly optimistic view of this.

Edited to say: Fuck!

[ygmir]

fuck, MA...........hang in there........we're pullin for ya.
dang those scares..............

[gyre]

I understand.
When I was in icu, I didn't call anybody.

Likely a false indicator, isn't it?

[maryanimal]

I hope it's just a false alarm, maryanimal. I'd be freaked out too. Fingers crossed, eh?

I'm actually supposed to get a baseline mammo pre-40, because 1 immediate relative had it, but thus far I've been . . . avoidant. Not smart. I'm trying to gird myself up for it and maybe let this be the year.

Mammograms, for me anyway, don't hurt, are only done by women, and they make you feel so comfortable and at ease. Please get yours! You'll be glad you did!
(((Savannah)))

[maryanimal]

I understand.
When I was in icu, I didn't call anybody.

Likely a false indicator, isn't it?

Could be a false indicator really.

Fishy: my family is a very over-emotional bunch. With all their good intentions, they would drive me nuts while I was waiting for the results. So if it is just a lots-of-women-have-benign-breasts-masses/lumps, then I don't have to worry them for nothing.

[ibdave]

{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}

[Eric]

Maryanimal- sending positive thoughts your way. It's just a fucking lump of excitement about the Burn that's in your breasteses.

[Kinetik V]

Mary...definitely sending positive thoughts to you. And oh yeah, worrying seriously fucking sucks. Let's hope it's worrying for nothing.

[maryanimal]

Boy, don't I know that KeneticV. One of the last things my doc said was "don't worry". I have to buy more hair color to hide my worrying! *hehehe* Or maybe that spray-on hair stuff Ron Popeil invented years ago to cover bald spots.

[pinemom]

Aw, Fuck Maryanimal...

You'll want to have at least one person to help you wait for your results( thats the hardest part for me!!)

The first time, I just went through it, wasnt very scary, the third and fourth times, ya scary as all get out!(the masses were worse) The last time was the worst for me.
I actually got a counselor to vent to because yes, even though my family was being very supportive, I chose to VENT on her instead!
But I had a real melancholy about myself that scared ME.
Fuck just because masses fucking suck.

[AntiM]

Fucking hugs, MA. The waiting to find out stage is the absolute pits. Fucking sucks.

I've only been through it once, mine was found via the mammo, no lump. I was waiting for the biopsy results, a terrifying time. If you want to epic saga, I'll share when you're ready.

Lumps can be any number of things, so there's that. No comfort whatsoever, huh?

Fuck, hang in there.

[MyDearFriend]

Fucking hugs, MA. The waiting to find out stage is the absolute pits. Fucking sucks.

I've only been through it once, mine was found via the mammo, no lump. I was waiting for the biopsy results, a terrifying time. If you want to epic saga, I'll share when you're ready.

Lumps can be any number of things, so there's that. No comfort whatsoever, huh?

Fuck, hang in there.

What she said. Plus 100. (((MA))) you are still here!!!

[geospyder]

(((((MA)))))

[theCryptofishist]

Fishy: my family is a very over-emotional bunch. With all their good intentions, they would drive me nuts while I was waiting for the results. So if it is just a lots-of-women-have-benign-breasts-masses/lumps, then I don't have to worry them for nothing. :)

Which is why I left the choice up to you. And believe me, my accident was a life or death matter in a much more immediate way...


Edoted tp add: fcuk.

[geospyder]

On a fucking positive note - just talked to my campmate Bob and he gets out of the hospital tomorrow - minus a spleen and half his pancreas - but cancer free. He says he's all ready to attend Yuri's Night in two weeks. Somehow I don't think he'll be dancing too much

[Savannah]

Geospyder, get some people to dance all up on 'im. Gently.

Maryanimal, you are a kick in the pants--so kindly taking the time (when you are dealing with your own fear) to assure me it doesn't hurt--or not enough to get excited about, anyway. I am collecting "it's not so bad" stories in an attempt to push myself. Obviously it's not all I'm scared of (I was able to handle a root canal, this can't be that bad) but . . . it helps.

[unjonharley]

Geospyder, get some people to dance all up on 'im. Gently.

Maryanimal, you are a kick in the pants--so kindly taking the time (when you are dealing with your own fear) to assure me it doesn't hurt--or not enough to get excited about, anyway. I am collecting "it's not so bad" stories in an attempt to push myself. Obviously it's not all I'm scared of (I was able to handle a root canal, this can't be that bad) but . . . it helps.

They took a hunk out of me a year or so ago.. Then I had to go home and wait.

The guys on this thread stood with me..

The slice come back neg..

The wait was still "fucked"

[C.f.M.]

After trying for many years to figure out how to get back into college (with three years already under my belt) I finally found the perfect program. I started last June, schedule to be done in August. At which point I could finally leave this fucktown goddman city that makes me want to kill myself. Move forward in a field I love (psychology) and leave the shitty pay job for which I'm overqualified and makes me crazy behind. Today I was informed they somehow forgot about TEN classes I need for the degree, so I will most likely have to drop out once again - this time with no delusions of ever going back (unless the U.S. magically decides to take university-level education seriously and not make it near-impossible for the average person to learn).

Fuck.

[jella]

((Mary Animal)) Good good vibes your way honey, fuck those lady lump scares .

Geo Woohooo for your pal !

Savannah, Chalk me for another it's not so bad , only takes a second and it can save your life

C.F.M Hope it works out . Damn money grubbing university not seeing the whole picture (Student/career ) just the money per class Happened to my niece twice already !

Fucking just signed up to take classes for a new future today, plan to become a Child Visitation Monitor.

[gyre]

CFM, do you have the class list for when you started?
That is binding on most schools even if they change requirements.
Seems like you have some recourse if they make a mistake anyway.

Fucking for pay schools.

[AntiM]

Geospyder, get some people to dance all up on 'im. Gently.

Maryanimal, you are a kick in the pants--so kindly taking the time (when you are dealing with your own fear) to assure me it doesn't hurt--or not enough to get excited about, anyway. I am collecting "it's not so bad" stories in an attempt to push myself. Obviously it's not all I'm scared of (I was able to handle a root canal, this can't be that bad) but . . . it helps.

Savannah, mammos do not hurt. A root canal hurts. Mammos are weird and pinchy and smooshy, definitely uncomfy, but they do not hurt. The new digital ones are far faster too. You don't have to hang around to have them read, they do that then send you a "see you next year" postcard.
I have never had a male technician. It is potentially embarrassing, but since I'm a burner, nah, not so much.
Get your ass over to whatever facility you use and get it done. I never would have found my BC without my mammo, and I'd not be here today to lecture you had I not had my annual screens. Get it fucking done. No fucking "it will hurt" excuses.
Also, no "I'm too busy" excuses. How fucking busy will you be with cancer diagnosed too late?

Sorry, I tend to lecture. I believe in the life-saving power of the mammo!

Oh, and fuck.

[C.f.M.]

CFM, do you have the class list for when you started?
That is binding on most schools even if they change requirements.
Seems like you have some recourse if they make a mistake anyway.

Fucking for pay schools.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean...apparently the course schedule/degree track I was given, that shows on my "degree progress" tab on their site is different from a "degree progress report."

It's really just....a huge fuck-up. I don't even. The dept. chair is going to see what she can do but...I don't see how it can be fixed. TEN missing classes???

It only came up because in the last class another student mentioned a "required" course I'd never heard of. I emailed my advisor to make sure I had all the classes I needed and she said, "Oh, you need that, this and this and six electives." Four months shy of what I thought was all I needed.

Uh, no. America is fucking stupid for it's treatment and viewpoint on university-level education. Make it impossible to get a decent job without that little piece of paper and make it impossible to get. ARGH.

[gyre]

They publish a curriculum each year.
Do you have the original?

[Trishntek]

Geospyder, get some people to dance all up on 'im. Gently.

Maryanimal, you are a kick in the pants--so kindly taking the time (when you are dealing with your own fear) to assure me it doesn't hurt--or not enough to get excited about, anyway. I am collecting "it's not so bad" stories in an attempt to push myself. Obviously it's not all I'm scared of (I was able to handle a root canal, this can't be that bad) but . . . it helps.

Savannah, mammos do not hurt. A root canal hurts. Mammos are weird and pinchy and smooshy, definitely uncomfy, but they do not hurt. The new digital ones are far faster too. You don't have to hang around to have them read, they do that then send you a "see you next year" postcard.
I have never had a male technician. It is potentially embarrassing, but since I'm a burner, nah, not so much.
Get your ass over to whatever facility you use and get it done. I never would have found my BC without my mammo, and I'd not be here today to lecture you had I not had my annual screens. Get it fucking done. No fucking "it will hurt" excuses.
Also, no "I'm too busy" excuses. How fucking busy will you be with cancer diagnosed too late?

Sorry, I tend to lecture. I believe in the life-saving power of the mammo!

Oh, and fuck.

Trish second's that! She put it off for FIVE FUCKING YEARS and is now subject to indefinite fucking treatments with a plethora of their own fucked up disabling capabilities. Get it while it is MANAGEABLE! MaryAnimal,,, we both wish you all best thoughts and prayers. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Savanna! Get yer boobs squished! DAMMIT! Do it before Burning Man! Promise??? please? do it, okay?

[Trishntek]

Well fuck,,, it's been awhile since I checked in here and notice some shitty things going on around us. Personal shit, fucked up economy, unrest in Africa and the Middle East,,,, JAPAN for chrissake,,,, sheeesh.

So my youngest daughter decided to spend SpringBreak with us. She's attending school in Denver and arrived with two or her friends yesterday. They want a fucking Burning Man experience,,,, in our backyard. So I put up a 15X20 foot canopy the other day. Good thing,,,, it kept most of the deluge off the grass.

So I just get the tent out and hand it to them,,,, while it's blowing,,,, horizontal rainstorms,,,, it never rains in SoCal,,,,, it fucking POURS for HOURS. They had just finished a 20something hour-fucking-long bus ride,,,, and there they were in the driving rain putting up a tent in a marginally sheltered part of my yard.

I bring them inflatable matresses, shelving, a fucking large rug and linens. They are plugged into the solar array. They created it and fucking enjoyed every fucking minute of it! I offered them their own portapotty, but they passed. It just fucking sucks for people in education,,,, whether student or instructor,,,,, Burning Man takes place a wee bit too late for them. Ahhhh but fuckit,,,, the girls have made a nice little nest out there and other than the wet clothes, their adventure is a fucking success!

[Elderberry]

I am collecting "it's not so bad" stories in an attempt to push myself. Obviously it's not all I'm scared of (I was able to handle a root canal, this can't be that bad) but . . . it helps.

Here's another story for your collection: It's not so bad when you wait too long to get a mamogram and find out the only thing left is a radical mastectomy that removes your entire breast and half of your body with it. Then you are still subjected to debilitating chemotherapy and the doctors tell you that they still aren't sure that they got it all and then you worry until you find out cancer has spread to someplace else in your body and you die an agonizing death.

Happened to my mother.

Oh, and fuck.

Actually I lied about the agonizing death part, something else actually killed her.

[Eric]

Finally some good fucking news- it's not my medial miniscus (knee) that's the problem, which would be Very Bad as mine are degenerative and if they do I'm severely fucked- they can't do surgery on them since they're basically swiss cheese. This has been my fear all week.

Turns out I have an inflamed tendon (cluster ?) located just below the left knee. I'm now on strong anti-inflamatories & have to do physical therapy to get it back under control. Short term problem, not long term. First time in a week I haven't been buried under fucking stress.

Savannah- get your mammogram dammit. Saved my mama's life as well as all the other stories you've heard on here.