Coming late in the week, bad idea or terrible idea?

yellowdog · Post by **yellowdog** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:18 pm

if we show up late, is there still space available?

Yes. Most likely towards the outer rings. Which tend to be somewhat (relatively) quieter, anyway. Or, you could always attend the nearest Regional event, make friends, and some of them may save you a space in their camp and be there to welcome you. Then all you have to do is figure out how to find them in BRC. there are threads that address this.

BTW, big kudos for thinking ahead and asking questions! I hope you find the right solution for you. You sound like you would be a fine addition to the city.

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:18 pm

jkisha wrote:
MyDearFriend wrote:
jkisha wrote:I think a lot of you replying have never sent a daughter off to college.
It's tough to let a piece of your heart go off and meet the world unprotected.

But, life-growth-change and all that, I am relieved and happy to watch my kids becoming happy and interesting adults. And when my first went off to college, I made his bed, stocked his fridge etc and then I left high-fiving my husband in the dormitory parking lot!

of course I sent a care package every week, that first semester...
So then do you expect me to believe that you would have let him go by himself because you had something better planned? I don't think so.

No, and I don't think I said that; I didn't mean to, anyway. But if I'd made my plans based on his, and then he changed his in a way that would negatively impact me ... I would wonder what was going on there, and have a serious talk with him.

Post by **Elderberry** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:39 pm

MyDearFriend wrote:
jkisha wrote:
MyDearFriend wrote: It's tough to let a piece of your heart go off and meet the world unprotected.

But, life-growth-change and all that, I am relieved and happy to watch my kids becoming happy and interesting adults. And when my first went off to college, I made his bed, stocked his fridge etc and then I left high-fiving my husband in the dormitory parking lot!

of course I sent a care package every week, that first semester...
So then do you expect me to believe that you would have let him go by himself because you had something better planned? I don't think so.
No, and I don't think I said that; I didn't mean to, anyway. But if I'd made my plans based on his, and then he changed his in a way that would negatively impact me ... I would wonder what was going on there, and have a serious talk with him.

Taking this at face value, I'd say it's just a kid changing their mind. There was no information in the post that caused me to think the kid had some alterior motive.

motskyroonmatick · Post by **motskyroonmatick** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 9:56 pm

elKay wrote:So, if we show up late, is there still space available?

There will be plenty of space available. It will be in the outer rings of the city with more opportunities to camp the closer you got to 2 or 10. If the city completely fills up then from what I have seen in the past more streets will be added on the 9:00 side. Coming in late means you join the party in it's full on state.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to settle in you daughter at school and then make tracks for the burn. Any amount of time spent at the burn is worth it. If you arrive in a huge dust storm don't attempt to set up camp. Just get out in it to prove to your self that it won't kill you and go make some new friends. When the wind dies down then you can set up your camp. That is if you have any inkling to go back and set up. Oh look! Neat shiny thing. Before you leave your car know the name of the nearest intersection and how to get from there to you car/camp. Write it on your arm if you have to. Study the map. Knowing how the naming of streets and general way things are set up really helps with navigating. http://www.burningman.com/preparation/m ... index.html
It is very much the same year to year with small changes in dimensions and number of streets. Expect it to be very similar.

I hope and think you can do both the burn and the college send off well and do both this year.

Bin Noddin · Post by **Bin Noddin** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:00 pm

Good luck working it out. All I know is that after dropping my (one and only) son at college, I was a lot more broken up than he was.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Sat Apr 16, 2011 10:02 pm

It wouldn't be worth it to me to get there that late, but I've been.
It's a totally different event after wednesday.

If you're inclined, you could volunteer and stay later.
There is always something that needs to be done.
At first, you'll have a lot of choice, as many people burn out by then.

I like the idea of going by the college after the burn.
It's only a few days.
I'd go early and leave early if I had to choose, but it's your trip.

duder9000 · Post by **duder9000** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 12:55 am

Don't miss the college thing, and then haul ass here! It's your first burn so by showing up late you won't know what you're missing, and you'll just be so psyched for all the days you ARE there!

My first burn I arrived late, had the greatest time of my life, and then promptly swore I would never show up late again. I think if you wait til next year you'll go and it'll be awesome and you'll wish you had those 3 days this year. Once you go you'll wish you had gone every day of every year past.

There'll be plenty of room to camp, but don't just immediately plop down in the outer rings - there's plenty of 2-person pockets closer in if you look. Don't be shy about taking an initial peek around. We were at 3 and D one year with a big ole empty space next to us, just wishing we had neighbors there all week long! We finally had some people move in on Thursday or Friday.

shykat · Post by **shykat** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:20 am

Talk to tol her tell her how you feel .
Pitch it like it's a "rites of passage for you both. Then compromise and get her to collage one day early and get to the event one day earlier . It will all work out ! Just go and let the Playa magic take it course....guilt free

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:37 am

jkisha wrote: Taking this at face value, I'd say it's just a kid changing their mind. There was no information in the post that caused me to think the kid had some alterior motive.

Yeah well

"just a kid changing their mind" would not be a good reason for me to cancel my Rites of Passage pilgrimage to BRC, is what I'm saying.

But elKay says her daughter got in to her dream school, which was more than what they were hoping for. Hence the dilemma.

I sure hope she can do everything she wants and needs to do. It's a tough one.

ElKay: I have never been (yet) so I can't say anything about finding a space, but it occurs to me that cruising in late your first time would be a real Leap Of Faith, so, maybe it was meant to be this way for you!

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:25 am

jkisha wrote:
MyDearFriend wrote:
jkisha wrote: So then do you expect me to believe that you would have let him go by himself because you had something better planned? I don't think so.
No, and I don't think I said that; I didn't mean to, anyway. But if I'd made my plans based on his, and then he changed his in a way that would negatively impact me ... I would wonder what was going on there, and have a serious talk with him.
Taking this at face value, I'd say it's just a kid changing their mind. There was no information in the post that caused me to think the kid had some alterior motive.

I find the "she didn't know she was going to get into/get money for UM" argument to be quite reasonable.

Turnip · Post by **Turnip** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:41 am

I'm missing the birth of my niece... so I can understand your confliction to an extent. I can still cross my fingers and hope that she goes into labor before we leave, though. Might be a bit of a wreck if I can't get any updates on playa. But 2009 we had sporadic cell signal (Verizon) and even wifi. So I'm holding out for that this year.
Maybe knowing that you might have some contact with your daughter will help put you at ease?

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:04 am

Thanks all! This sunny morning looks so much better than yesterday's. We figure out a way to burning man. Tomorrow morning I will be able to talk to someone at UM housing to see if she can move in early. My daughter thinks that moving in early might give her a leg up finding a job. And one of my dearest and oldest girlfriends friends lives 10 minutes away, so maybe they could hang out some if Norma gets lonely.

Post by **Elderberry** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:12 am

elKay wrote:Thanks all! This sunny morning looks so much better than yesterday's. We figure out a way to burning man. Tomorrow morning I will be able to talk to someone at UM housing to see if she can move in early. My daughter thinks that moving in early might give her a leg up finding a job. And one of my dearest and oldest girlfriends friends lives 10 minutes away, so maybe they could hang out some if Norma gets lonely.

Sounds like a plan. Hope it all works out for you.

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 8:16 am

Oh good! Cause I had another thought about this. See in my profession (nursing) we prepare obsessively for all foreseeable bad outcomes, and superstitiously believe that being prepared will prevent bad things from happening. So maybe your Burning Man tickets are what got Norma into her dream school!

In which case you really should believe in playa magic...

much2naughty2 · Post by **much2naughty2** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:01 am

Rite of Passage, hum...Having done the droping off 3 of daughters at college, buying the crap they don't need and won't use, and also being a first year burner last year, I would say your daughter is right. Going to BM is silly. Take her to school, save your money cause she'll have a never ending need for it and much more, for the next 5(five) of more years. Then she'll bo moving home for one or mre years after that, then maybe a jpb for a while until she discovers how unappreciated she is and quits and finally moves home for another year.

You won't have any fun anyway, and there really isn't room for late comers to camp. The dust and wind are really bad. It's very noisy and people never seem to sleep. I heard they might even cancel the weekend and send everyone home on Thursday.

Or..
Dump her in a motel on the previous weekend, tell her it's time to grow up, and we'll see you at Thanksgiving. Then go put to BM and enoy your Rite of Passage to the empty nest.

penguin · Post by **penguin** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:48 pm

Not the cheapest solution, but it gets you to the playa a day earlier and avoids wear and tear on you and your vehicle...

Fly from Duluth to Reno, rent a car, go to the burn, fly back to Duluth and drive home. About $1100 + car rental vs. 3000+ miles of driving. (so probably a little more than twice what you'd spend on gas)....

Besides if you fly you get to start your burn early with the "pat-down" right of passage at the airport

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:32 pm

penguin wrote:Not the cheapest solution, but it gets you to the playa a day earlier and avoids wear and tear on you and your vehicle...

Fly from Duluth to Reno, rent a car, go to the burn, fly back to Duluth and drive home.

Good thinking, but we can't fly. The first idea to come to burning man started a few years ago when my little brother died and left me his airstream. He always intended to bring it to burning man, but was never able to make the trip from Florida. I have been trying to come every year since and will be bringing his ashes too. Last week we bought a new truck just to pull the airstream- so we will be driving.

My daughter is starting to hear me, I think.

Post by **Savannah** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 4:13 pm

I'm glad you're talking it out and thinking about all the possible ways it could work. Very Burner-y.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 5:24 pm

Wow! when I graduated high school, being the baby of the family, the word I got was, "Son, Pop is retiring and we are moving to California. YOU are not invited!"

Having related that, we raised our kids to be prepared for the big bad world. Two of them are responsible, hard-working parents and one is still in college. Letting go can be emotionally traumatic and the "Rite of Passage" is certainly applicable to the scenariio of the OP.

But,,,,, and this is a big BUT! If I had bought the tickets and made the plans, and THEN one of our kids has a change in plans,,,, it would be something like,,,,

"Honey? We are going to Burning Man and I know you think it is silly. That is one of the reasons you aren't invited. We are so proud of you for getting into the school of your dreams! We are confident that you are ready to face whatever comes your way and hope you understand that we are also ready. For the past THIRTY-FOUR YEARS my life has been all about you kids. I hope we can mutually disembark on our important journeys with the respect and support adults face on a regular basis."

If your daughter is truly ready to face the world on her own, she is probably chomping at the bit for the opportunity before her. Is the delivery to the dorm "Rite of Passage" for her? Or for you? I'm betting on the latter.

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:17 pm

Trishntek wrote:Wow! when I graduated high school, being the baby of the family, the word I got was, "Son, Pop is retiring and we are moving to California. YOU are not invited!"

Yeah- me too, but my parents quit when I was 14.

But,,,,, and this is a big BUT! If I had bought the tickets and made the plans, and THEN one of our kids has a change in plans,,,, it would be something like,,,,

"Honey? We are going to Burning Man and I know you think it is silly. That is one of the reasons you aren't invited. We are so proud of you for getting into the school of your dreams! We are confident that you are ready to face whatever comes your way and hope you understand that we are also ready. For the past THIRTY-FOUR YEARS my life has been all about you kids. I hope we can mutually disembark on our important journeys with the respect and support adults face on a regular basis."

Yes, this is pretty much how I have been pitching it.

Is the delivery to the dorm "Rite of Passage" for her? Or for you? I'm betting on the latter.

You would lose this bet. I would be more disappointed to missBurning Man than to miss the drop off. I would like to drop her off , but she is the one resisting. I seriously think that half of the resistance is more about her fear that her parents might go wild. She was resisting burning man before this conflict. I do think that she is coming around.

I appreciate all of the input here, and this forum. Thanks!

Post by **Elderberry** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:21 pm

Well you'll never find a shortage of opinions here, that's for sure!

tamarakay · Post by **tamarakay** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:32 pm

two of our kids look at us like we've got buggers hanging out of our nose when we mention burningman, the other four want to go (we say go for it, maybe we will run into you out there).

One last suggestion, find your local regional group. Get to know some of them, maybe they will save you a spot and be around to help you set up. Also, if your daughter meets them and sees what grand people we all are, she will lighten up a bit, or not.

I hope you make it to the temple.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:38 pm

elKay wrote:
Trishntek wrote:Wow! when I graduated high school, being the baby of the family, the word I got was, "Son, Pop is retiring and we are moving to California. YOU are not invited!"
Yeah- me too, but my parents quit when I was 14.

But,,,,, and this is a big BUT! If I had bought the tickets and made the plans, and THEN one of our kids has a change in plans,,,, it would be something like,,,,

"Honey? We are going to Burning Man and I know you think it is silly. That is one of the reasons you aren't invited. We are so proud of you for getting into the school of your dreams! We are confident that you are ready to face whatever comes your way and hope you understand that we are also ready. For the past THIRTY-FOUR YEARS my life has been all about you kids. I hope we can mutually disembark on our important journeys with the respect and support adults face on a regular basis."
Yes, this is pretty much how I have been pitching it.

Is the delivery to the dorm "Rite of Passage" for her? Or for you? I'm betting on the latter.
You would lose this bet. I would be more disappointed to missBurning Man than to miss the drop off. I would like to drop her off , but she is the one resisting. I seriously think that half of the resistance is more about her fear that her parents might go wild. She was resisting burning man before this conflict. I do think that she is coming around.

I appreciate all of the input here, and this forum. Thanks!

Just curious then,,,, where does DAD fit into all this? Daughters can influence fathers mucho grande. I should know,,,, had 2 of 'em. And visa versa if he is willing.

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:48 pm

Trishntek wrote: Just curious then,,,, where does DAD fit into all this? Daughters can influence fathers mucho grande. I should know,,,, had 2 of 'em. And visa versa if he is willing.

Dad is really looking forward to Burning Man- and does not want to miss moving his baby in to the dorms. He is willing to move her in early if they will allow it, not willing to have her move in with help from her big brothers. So, it all hangs on whether or not the UM will allow an early move in.

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:52 pm

I like to post this link to the aerial photo of the city when people express concern about not being able to find a camp spot. It's large innit? outer rings still have volleyball court size emptiness... not sure when the photo was taken during the week. I like the outer rings, or the provinces as some townies call them.

http://gigapan.org/gigapans/66285/

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 6:59 pm

(Just wondering if having parents at burning man bestows braggin' rights.)

ygmir · Post by **ygmir** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:03 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:(Just wondering if having parents at burning man bestows braggin' rights.)

only if they're conceived there.

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:24 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:(Just wondering if having parents at burning man bestows braggin' rights.)

Ha! You would think so, but I think she sees it more like the boogers that tamarakay mentioned. I bet that she will never tell anyone.

Elorrum, thanks for posting that. I was worried that we would not have enough room for a shade structure if we were late. Looks like it wont be a problem.

gaminwench · Post by **gaminwench** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 9:34 pm

When I started going to BM, my daughter was 10. Every year she watched us prepare and pack all summer long, thinking that we were nuts; then, on return, listened to our tales and looked at our pictures, still thinking we were crazy. When she left the west coast for college (didn't want me to move her) on the east coast, I was the woman weeping and wailing at the bottom of the escalator at LAX. I called her 3 times from the playa that year. Within a month of arriving at college, all of her friends had told her how cool her mom must be... Burning Man, Wow! The next year, she finally came to BRC... and loved it. She'll come again, after she graduates, she now appreciates my 'inner freak'.
It'll all work out...

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Sun Apr 17, 2011 10:56 pm

gaminwench wrote:When I started going to BM, my daughter was 10. Every year she watched us prepare and pack all summer long, thinking that we were nuts; then, on return, listened to our tales and looked at our pictures, still thinking we were crazy. When she left the west coast for college (didn't want me to move her) on the east coast, I was the woman weeping and wailing at the bottom of the escalator at LAX. I called her 3 times from the playa that year. Within a month of arriving at college, all of her friends had told her how cool her mom must be... Burning Man, Wow! The next year, she finally came to BRC... and loved it. She'll come again, after she graduates, she now appreciates my 'inner freak'.
It'll all work out...

YAY!

Our youngest daughter was the one who said, "Dad! You ought to check out Burning Man! I think you would REALLY get into it!"

She was so very right. When she graduates, part of her "reward" will be tickets for her and her S.O.