Coming late in the week, bad idea or terrible idea?

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 9:52 am

elKay wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:(Just wondering if having parents at burning man bestows braggin' rights.)
Ha! You would think so, but I think she sees it more like the boogers that tamarakay mentioned. I bet that she will never tell anyone.

I guess what I was wondering about was if she might find out that people in school want to go, and if that might trigger a change of attitude.

mudpuppy000 · Post by **mudpuppy000** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:12 am

Tough choice. Whatever happens with the move in I'd still haul ass to the playa even if it was just for a few days. I don't think anyone's trip to the playa is a smooth experience or ideal, but that's what makes it so much fun.

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:24 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
elKay wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:(Just wondering if having parents at burning man bestows braggin' rights.)
Ha! You would think so, but I think she sees it more like the boogers that tamarakay mentioned. I bet that she will never tell anyone.
I guess what I was wondering about was if she might find out that people in school want to go, and if that might trigger a change of attitude.

You never know, it could happen... but deep down, I really don't need her approval about this.

I spoke with the fine folks at UM housing today. The good news is that the school says that there is a process to apply to move into into the dorm room early. The bad news is that we can not apply until July. So I intend to just continue to gather things and assume that I am going to be there when the gates open. And if the middle of July comes, and they tell us that she can not get in early, maybe by then she will soften to having her brothers move her in.

Post by **Sham** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:38 pm

That sounds like good news that there is a process for early move-in to the dorms. Now you have to work on creative writing to get approval. I wouldn't say you need it so you can attend the Burning Man festival. Maybe a family wedding in Europe or an ill cousin in Texas.

Best of luck with this process.

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:54 pm

Shambala wrote:... Now you have to work on creative writing to get approval. I wouldn't say you need it so you can attend the Burning Man festival. Maybe a family wedding in Europe or an ill cousin in Texas.

Best of luck with this process.

I was wondering about that. I figure that going to a festival is not a good excuse in their eyes, but I wont lie.

I hope they will let me say something like, "I can only share that we are unable to move her in on the 30th or 31st because there we have a very important commitment with an inflexible date. We would be able to move her in on the 26th. I do not wish to share the details with you, but it is something planned for more than 2 years, having to do with the death of my little brother and the placement of his ashes. "

That would all be true.

Post by **Savannah** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:56 pm

True--that is a flawless reason, & I can't imagine it wouldn't be good enough.

I'm glad things may work out.

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:19 pm

elKay wrote:
Shambala wrote:... Now you have to work on creative writing to get approval. I wouldn't say you need it so you can attend the Burning Man festival. Maybe a family wedding in Europe or an ill cousin in Texas.

Best of luck with this process.
I was wondering about that. I figure that going to a festival is not a good excuse in their eyes, but I wont lie.

I hope they will let me say something like, "I can only share that we are unable to move her in on the 30th or 31st because there we have a very important commitment with an inflexible date. We would be able to move her in on the 26th. I do not wish to share the details with you, but it is something planned for more than 2 years, having to do with the death of my little brother and the placement of his ashes. "

That would all be true.

Fantastic! Very noble, dignified and stiff-upper-lip-ish, all quite respectable qualities... and, as you say, TRUE.

Lassen Forge · Post by **Lassen Forge** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:32 pm

I really do hope she gets housed early, but... call me wrong... but if she can't get in early, then I'd come mid-event, or if I had to, miss the fracking burn.

There will be a burn next year. You won't get the satisfaction of kicking your kid out seeing your kid begin her independence, and being there for it...

Just me... but family is family. Sure the burn is life changing... but so's watching your flesh and blood grow up. I love the burn, but sometimes, family (and being there for them, even if it is kinda sappy) is more important.

Post by **Elderberry** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:43 pm

elKay wrote: maybe by then she will soften to having her brothers move her in.

Somewhere along the way I must have missed this. If she has BROTHERS that will be available and willing to move her in, and mom and dad doesn't mind this, then I think the problem is solved.

Mom and dad say goodbye and best of luck in school. We'll call you when we get back from BM. She doesn't want her brothers to move her in, she has two options...stays home and skips the semester or her brothers help her move.

I would make sure she knows if she chooses option one, mom and dad will no longer pay for her tuition.

Post by **Savannah** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:45 pm

"I can only share that we are unable to move her in on the 30th or 31st because there we have a very important commitment with an inflexible date. We would be able to move her in on the 26th. I do not wish to share the details with you, but it is something planned for more than 2 years, having to do with the death of my little brother and the placement of his ashes. "

I forgot to say--you might not even need to be so circumspect in wording, and could leave out both "I can only share" and "I do not wish to share the details with you", which could instill doubt where there wasn't any before.

Scattering of ashes is pretty personal, and (I hope) understandable, and there's not much else one can say besides polite closings. If they can allow early arrival at all, it seems fairly certain that your attempt will be successful.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:45 pm

If they have a process for early move-in and you don't sound like some sort of scary lunatic, then she should get in. I have to think it's basically a rubber-stamp. And there will be a fee, of course.

It also gives her the opportunity to explore the cities without it getting cluttered with school stuff.

elKay · Post by **elKay** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:29 pm

Savannah, "I can only share" is much better! thank you.

I guess come July, I will keep you all posted. THANKS! :)

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:24 pm

elKay wrote:Savannah, "I can only share" is much better! thank you.

I guess come July, I will keep you all posted. THANKS!

Why not simply call it a memorial service that has been planned for several months?

FIGJAM · Post by **FIGJAM** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 4:31 pm

You will be attending a creamation that weekend!

Mojojita · Post by **Mojojita** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:23 pm

I had two sons at UCLA at the same time. They're now both avid burners and come with us every year. So maybe you too will have a great family vacation in your future for years to come. The "dropping off" part was no big deal for us but I had very independent young men.

gyre · Post by **gyre** » Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:48 pm

I can't imagine why they would want an explanation beyond your needing the early arrival.

delle · Post by **delle** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:19 am

Feeling pretty grateful here that although my daughter is also starting university during my burntime, she need only take a bus to get there... same bus as always, to a campus she already knows like the back of her hand having used their music facilities for the last two years with previous studies.

Kinda takes the edge off me having to be there. Still, I'm sorry to miss the excitement of the new step. I sure can feel for how difficult a decision this must be for you.

Lord Of Ruin · Post by **Lord Of Ruin** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:10 pm

elKay wrote:Thanks all! This sunny morning looks so much better than yesterday's. We figure out a way to burning man. Tomorrow morning I will be able to talk to someone at UM housing to see if she can move in early. My daughter thinks that moving in early might give her a leg up finding a job. And one of my dearest and oldest girlfriends friends lives 10 minutes away, so maybe they could hang out some if Norma gets lonely.

Umm...

She's a first year college student going away to a dorm with other first year college students that are ALL on their own for the first time in their lives.

She will be anything but lonely, no matter how shy she is! If they allow her even a few days early, with some planning for you two to maybe fly into Reno and do the burn that way will enable the best of both worlds.

I can't imagine how proud both you and your daughter are!

LoR

Post by **mdmf007** » Tue Apr 19, 2011 3:43 pm

Im thinking if all you can do is a few days at BM its still worth it.

MDMF