Depression

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Thu May 12, 2011 11:12 pm

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Ain't it cute?

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri May 13, 2011 6:24 am

You shor do love posting them youtube videos. Why don't you leave this one up to the professionals, punk boy; don't you have something to be angry about, instead?

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Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Fri May 13, 2011 9:43 am

I don't get it,,,,,,

Course I've always been a cup-half-full kinda guy,,,,

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri May 13, 2011 9:52 am

Trishntek wrote:I don't get it,,,,,,

Course I've always been a cup-half-full kinda guy,,,,

I'll have to make you a mix-tape and send along a copy of Sorrows.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri May 13, 2011 10:16 am

C.f.M. wrote:You shor do love posting them youtube videos. Why don't you leave this one up to the professionals, punk boy; don't you have something to be angry about, instead?

[youtube][/youtube]

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Last night, this little post was my Picasso. I'm going through a particularly difficult time, and felt I should vent. Of course, I've been in worse situations, but I had a lot less to lose back then.

delle · Post by **delle** » Fri May 13, 2011 10:20 am

((((((Tom))))))

Wish I could send you solution.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri May 13, 2011 10:45 am

"I'm going through a particularly difficult time, and felt I should vent."

Well, you get a mix-tape, too, and a copy of say...Myth of Sisyphus?

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri May 13, 2011 11:14 am

For some reason this image came to mind.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Fri May 13, 2011 11:32 am

i wish i could find this funny, i'm starting to understand that depression isn't being miserable all the time it's finding less and less shine in anything. the slow and steady decline in life till quality is just breaking even, like a heroin has to take it just to feel normal, depression is taking crap because its better than nothing. When you pretend being excited about simply not failing in the simplest of things is the high point of your life to date and when you get home on payday and dont have enough to eat And get to work next week let alone do anything fun.
When your choice is to goto burning man and have a week when you cant get it wrong because there is no way to get it wrong or spend 52 weeks a year getting wrong because you never get it right, it's not really a choice is it?

I wish i hadnt bought my ticket already then i would have on less mistake to my name.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri May 13, 2011 11:37 am

Depression can manifest in different ways, and everybody will find success with varied treatment/approaches to vanquish the demons.

C.f.M. · Post by **C.f.M.** » Fri May 13, 2011 1:09 pm

"Depression might not be all bad, new research finds. People with major depressive disorder do better on a decision-making task than people without the disease.

Depression is a psychiatric condition defined by consistently low mood, low self-esteem and loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities. About 20 percent of people worldwide suffer from major depressive disorder, the clinical name, at some point during their lifetime.

This is the first time a positive cognitive effect has been seen in people with major depressive disorder. The researchers suggest that these patients process information more systematically and analytically than their chipper counterparts."

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Fri May 13, 2011 2:44 pm

Having no ability to relate to such deep-seated sorrow, I hope what I say is taken as a meager attempt to encourage you who suffer.

Whenever I have a decision to make,,,, or a choice,,,, I always approach it from a positive angle no matter what. We all naturally look at things from the "PRO" and "CON" perspective.

I strive to look at the "PRO" of doing it, buying it,,,, whatever and compare that with the "PRO" of not doing it, not buying it,,,, not whatever and etc.

The memories of the days when my kids were small and I received a below-average income which was paid once at the end of the month. There were many months when toilet paper, milk and other consumables were rationed the last week of the month just to survive.

There are times when it seems the whole world is caving over the top of you. Somebody may ask, "How ya doin'?" and your answer is, "well under the circumstances,,,,," My immediate response is, "What the hell you doin' under there?" Circumstances change and you can be the change agent if you look hard enough.

My Mother has always been a tremendous inspiration to me. She had staph infection back in the '60's and completely lost her nose. Nothing but a hole in the middle of her face. Thirty-eight surgeries later, she had something that resembles a nose, but is still very noticeable. Does she hide it? No! She is very active with Hospice and her church and the admiration of many. She is a widow at 87 years of age and still lives on her own with only Social Security for income.

The key to her happiness is people. She cares for others and they care for her. She had every reason to crawl under a rock and shut off the rest of the world. But she shines,,,, and you know what? Many people don't even notice her "mark of ownership" in the center of her face,,,, because her smile is the most prominent feature.

Anecdotal,,,, I know,,,, but something I always consider when things get tough.

MyDearFriend · Post by **MyDearFriend** » Fri May 13, 2011 4:06 pm

I have way more to say on this subject than anyone would ever want to read, but, the most important thing I have to say , to any of you who put your heads down and think, "I am going to die," with a feeling of relief, is this:

People, like most of the creatures of this world, need each other in order to meet the trials of life successfully. Do not ever forget the instruction your first teacher gave you on your first day of school:

Stay with your group.

Find your group, invent a group, do what you have to do to maintain relationships with people you care about. There are good people in this world, and we can save each other.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Fri May 13, 2011 5:57 pm

Trishntek wrote:
There are times when it seems the whole world is caving over the top of you. Somebody may ask, "How ya doin'?" and your answer is, "well under the circumstances,,,,," My immediate response is, "What the hell you doin' under there?" Getting tierd of holding the roof up on my own, can i have a hand please?

My Mother has always been a tremendous inspiration to me. She had staph infection back in the '60's and completely lost her nose. Nothing but a hole in the middle of her face. Thirty-eight surgeries later, she had something that resembles a nose, but is still very noticeable. Does she hide it? No! She is very active with Hospice and her church and the admiration of many. She is a widow at 87 years of age and still lives on her own with only Social Security for income.

The key to her happiness is people. She cares for others and they care for her. She had every reason to crawl under a rock and shut off the rest of the world. But she shines,,,, and you know what? Many people don't even notice her "mark of ownership" in the center of her face,,,, because her smile is the most prominent feature.

Anecdotal,,,, I know,,,, but something I always consider when things get tough.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri May 13, 2011 6:42 pm

graidawg wrote:i wish i could find this funny, i'm starting to understand that depression isn't being miserable all the time it's finding less and less shine in anything. the slow and steady decline in life till quality is just breaking even, like a heroin has to take it just to feel normal, depression is taking crap because its better than nothing. When you pretend being excited about simply not failing in the simplest of things is the high point of your life to date and when you get home on payday and dont have enough to eat And get to work next week let alone do anything fun.
When your choice is to goto burning man and have a week when you cant get it wrong because there is no way to get it wrong or spend 52 weeks a year getting wrong because you never get it right, it's not really a choice is it?

I wish i hadnt bought my ticket already then i would have on less mistake to my name.

The loss of joy is called "anhedonia" (sp?). Compare it to "hedonist" and put the parts together.
Get it treated. Really. I have no idea how it works in England, but I hope national health will take it seriously. For whatever it's worth, I credit going through those really bad years long ago for making it easier to rise above my recent troubles. I hate the quote, but everyone knows it: What does not kill you, makes you stronger.
And you can always reach out here, or on private message if you prefer.

TomServo · Post by **TomServo** » Fri May 13, 2011 7:10 pm

mackistan wrote:
C.f.M. wrote:Depression can manifest in different ways, and everybody will find success with varied treatment/approaches to vanquish the demons.
i "captured" my demons and now send them out to destroy my enemies. it is how i like to think of it. burning man has taught me so much. i owe you all so much for this "gift".

this is how i think of my enemies and then i feel better. LOL

[youtube][/youtube]

this thread is depressing. i am going to a fun thread.

Burning Man, is the reason I'm divorced....it was her idea ( I became too into it..no cheating). I'm well over that. And, Burning Man is the reason I haven't killed myself already. No matter how fucked up certain eplayans are, I always come here for inspiration...and to vent. In the past 24 hours, Ive decided to upgrade my old art work. Maybe use my old anarchist stencils...if not to make money, but to do something.

If the auto companies and banks get a bail out, why don't we?

This depression goes deeper than mere finances.

Trishntek · Post by **Trishntek** » Fri May 13, 2011 8:11 pm

An anecdote or two FWIW:

Concentrate on the things you CAN INFLUENCE and don't waste time and energy on things over which you have no influence.

Assume nothing.

There are times in my life when those simple rules give me clarity.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri May 13, 2011 10:19 pm

As I read all of these wonderful posts and how people deal with whatever demons they have is awesome.

Depression for most, is a chemical imbalance which causes hopelessness, helplessness, lack of enjoyment for anything, family, friends, sex. It also brings out issues that people have never told anyone, rape, incest, terrible things that may have happened as a child, teen or adult. It causes self esteem issues so deep, that it make a person feel like a useless waste of space here on earth. It takes a person to the depths of darkness. you don't want to eat, you can't sleep, you don't even want to get out of bed, you don't want to live. You start living this self-fulfilling prohetic life of uselessness.

Then there is depression with manic behaviors, aka Manic-Depression, or now called BiPolar. This make a person sink so low they want to take their own lives, which is sad because without treatment of any kind, you're literally not in your right mind. When the mania hits, you think that you are invincible. You spend money without a thought, you become hypersexual, mostly because you're looking for some reassurance that you're ok. But when you don't get that, you find someone else. You find yourself doing things you'd never do. You have this false bravado, that makes you feel powerful. Then after all that, after the crazy roller coaster ride, you go down again. way down.

Ok...that being said. It take a lot of pain and discovery that you need help. But it's hard to admit you need some help. But once you get help, the healing begins. It starts with a simple doctor's apppointment, a diagnosis after taking with a board certified therapist/psychiatrist , someone who'll help you get through issues, someone who is non-judgemental, and only want's to help you feel better and understand what you're dealing with. Then you're prescribed some medication to start helping those chemicals become balanced. And you must stick to your therapy regime. It may take a few tries to get the right medication(s) that will give you a life of happiness, understanding, and makes you wonder why it feels so much better than before. You can think clearly and make make better decisions.

All this takes time. It's not an overnight fix. But it is so worth the time and effort, and self-love that finally comes to fruition.

I will now get off my soap box...one more thing. People can get depressed at times and come out of it. I'm happy for those people. they don't know how lucky they are.

*steps down*

delle · Post by **delle** » Sat May 14, 2011 4:33 am

I have to parrot the Fish and MaryAnimal here. Sometimes it TAKES meds. Sometimes we just can't overcome this ourselves.

Close to 2 decades ago I came here for a 2-week vacation with a bottle of zoloft in my pocket that had been prescribed by my doctor over a month before but never opened.

After a night-long talk with my father on the subject (which had started with the simple question "What can you tell me about seratonin?" and became about an hour-long biology course followed by a 6-hour long heartfelt discussion about depression) I popped my first pill the next morning.

What followed was nothing short of miraculous to me.

After only a few days I started feeling the effects.

Every morning I felt just a little more relief. As though a really thin veil had been removed from over me. I could see that much more clearly; think that much more clearly; breathe that much more easily. I could make decisions. The mud was clearing from my mind and my soul, just a tiny bit at a time.

A tiny veil, every day... until one morning, taking a walk, I realized I had a spring in my step that hadn't been there in years.

It was at that moment that I realized the extent of what I'd been living with. That the "normal" I'd endured for so long -- that had just crept up on me -- was NOT normal at all. THIS was how it was supposed to be.

There is nothing normal about a lack of joy. When lethargy and sadness become the menu of the day -- EVERY day -- there's something wrong.

I really don't advocate the use of pills usually. There's no such thing as a quick fix. Truthfully, once the pills started to work, I changed pretty much everything about my life at that point, which of course, made a huge difference in what followed. HOWEVER!!!

I NEVER could have made the decisions necessary while suffocating from all those veils. Even slight seemed insurmountable, and there were no first steps..... everything was a mountain.

Renewing faith in myself opened more doors than I thought possible, and made every step a joy (with that refound bounce. Loved that bounce!)

And having retrained my body to work as it should... having reLEARNED how to feel joy as a default, I was able to wean off the pills and live a much more comfortable existance.

....I love my normal now.

I really hope both of you (Tom and Grai) find a resolution like I did. The former state HURTS. It's heavy. ....but it needn't be your norm!!!

(((((hugs all around)))))

Elorrum · Post by **Elorrum** » Sat May 14, 2011 6:41 am

If you are stuck, asking for help, and saying it here is a start. Good for you. Life isn't supposed to feel like this. Get your pogo back.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Sat May 14, 2011 6:43 am

thank you all for trying to help, i know simply my un happyness is not chemical imbalance its simply a continuing slide into a life i just dont want, i have over the last 20 years gone from confident and happy with a large circle of friends to unconfident and unhappy with few no friends. A series of betrayals by very good friends and girlfriends getting alife that i didnt know existed, then losing it. A realisation that many of my problems are of my own doing and being unable to correct them, leaving me with few options, trapping (so it feels) in the life i dont want.

In typical english fashion telling people my problems feels like whinging and not taking responsibiblty, however 2 years ago i did seek advice from my doctor who gave me prozac - which made things worse. panic attacks and hysteria, the only thing that helped was talking with a friend who new me fairly well (said friend has since abandoned me for chatting someone they new up)

Burning man has so far both lifted me by showing me how there are people that are better than the people i know, who will help if they can and offer support. It has also showed me how my life could be if i could find a way back to my old self.

I also see people here who have far far worse problems than mine and deal with them much much betterthough of course i have no knowledge of how they are when not on here, or who else they have to talk to, or whatever it is they do to get through the days and weeks.

that makes my problems seem silly and GET OVER IT kind of issues as all boys and especially english boys are taught from birth, which i usually do and always do when there are other people around

once again thank you for listening and i am sure i will find something to be hedonistic about shortly

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat May 14, 2011 7:52 am

graidawg wrote:thank you all for trying to help, i know simply my un happyness is not chemical imbalance its simply a continuing slide into a life i just dont want, i have over the last 20 years gone from confident and happy with a large circle of friends to unconfident and unhappy with few no friends. A series of betrayals by very good friends and girlfriends getting alife that i didnt know existed, then losing it. A realisation that many of my problems are of my own doing and being unable to correct them, leaving me with few options, trapping (so it feels) in the life i dont want.

In typical english fashion telling people my problems feels like whinging and not taking responsibiblty, however 2 years ago i did seek advice from my doctor who gave me prozac - which made things worse. panic attacks and hysteria, the only thing that helped was talking with a friend who new me fairly well (said friend has since abandoned me for chatting someone they new up)

Burning man has so far both lifted me by showing me how there are people that are better than the people i know, who will help if they can and offer support. It has also showed me how my life could be if i could find a way back to my old self.

I also see people here who have far far worse problems than mine and deal with them much much betterthough of course i have no knowledge of how they are when not on here, or who else they have to talk to, or whatever it is they do to get through the days and weeks.

that makes my problems seem silly and GET OVER IT kind of issues as all boys and especially english boys are taught from birth, which i usually do and always do when there are other people around

once again thank you for listening and i am sure i will find something to be hedonistic about shortly

There are multiple SSRIs and other classes of anti-depression meds, most of us have to try multiple ones in order to find one that works. Sadly, many also find that the effect lessons over time and they have to find another that works.
There's also cognitive behavioral therapy which helps you confront your negative thoughts.

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Sat May 14, 2011 2:56 pm

mackistan wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote: There are multiple SSRIs and other classes of anti-depression meds, most of us have to try multiple ones in order to find one that works. Sadly, many also find that the effect lessons over time and they have to find another that works.
There's also cognitive behavioral therapy which helps you confront your negative thoughts.
you should only speak for yourself. do not push drugs on people. drugs are not the answer when the problems are real. if they where, were is the anti-debt pill or the i was screwed but now it is better as everything was returned to me pill, or life is good because people stopped lying pill.

pills are not a solution they are a part of therapy, if done right, but therapy has been thrown out the window for a "maintained" existence where the only person that makes out is the one that sold the pills.

pills cause more problems than they help. they are not miracle cures and you know that. psychiatry is a joke.

did you know that not one of hitlers psychiatrists where ever put on trial for what they did. not one. and hitler had a bunch of them working for him.

put the psychiatrist on pills and heal the ones that hurt with understanding or would that go against radical self reliance?

I don't think anyone here is pushing pills on anyone, just allowing people to know there are options. People have the right to chose what they think is best for them. Some people appreciate the kindness of others who point them to different avenues.

There are somethings that a person needs to let go of. shit happens. However when a person in clinically depressed, it isn't as easy as some may think.

I've been robbed, raped, held at gunpoint and yet I've managed to forgive my attackers. Even now, this time in life, I've let those things go.

We all have our own ways of protecting ourselves, our psyches, our souls. what may work for one may not work for another, but we all have our own coping skills...or not.

delle · Post by **delle** » Sat May 14, 2011 3:05 pm

How 'bout this;

YMMV

All we can do as friends and fellow human beings is speak from experience and hope we're helping.

It's called caring.

PERSONALLY SPEAKING, if I hadn't done the pills, I'd still be fucked. But of course, YMMV

mackistan · Post by **mackistan** » Sat May 14, 2011 3:28 pm

maryanimal wrote:
I don't think anyone here is pushing pills on anyone, just allowing people to know there are options. People have the right to chose what they think is best for them. Some people appreciate the kindness of others who point them to different avenues.

There are somethings that a person needs to let go of. shit happens. However when a person in clinically depressed, it isn't as easy as some may think.

I've been robbed, raped, held at gunpoint and yet I've managed to forgive my attackers. Even now, this time in life, I've let those things go.

We all have our own ways of protecting ourselves, our psyches, our souls. what may work for one may not work for another, but we all have our own coping skills...or not.

seriously? not pushing pills? the entire burner community is pill happy. not life happy. you can get a pill at the event as well, they got them everywhere, so don't lie, it is not becoming.

pills are not compassion. they are a slow death and mask the true issues.

also i have been robbed, raped, harassed, stalked, and laughed at when i reported it, so i guess you got me, i was not held at gun point. had a bunch of other stuff happen though. i found when i forgave, it just gave the attacker to do it again. so i am going to get revenge. that is my coping skill that i learned. sweet sweet revenge.

and i agree about having your own coping skills, but to force your coping skills on another? wow that is just control freakish. and there is a lot of that in this world.

and you speak of the soul yet you come here? that is weird. just kidding i know you had a soul.

i love burning man and women too

motskyroonmatick · Post by **motskyroonmatick** » Sat May 14, 2011 3:49 pm

Er... Ah?

(raises hand)

Hmmm.

(puts down hand)

Ok

Drug(s), talk therapy, recognizing when my negative thoughts are preposterous, talking it out with my self, vocalizing facts about current feelings, several awesome friends to share things with, taking advantage of things I can choose to be happy about, more exercise, looking outward more and deciding I have a definite and growing place in the world. These things have all helped me gain a bit more traction in beating back depression and (perhaps it is just an excuse) midlife crisis. Oh and developing a crush on someone really really helps. That's a serotonin wind fall.

Depression is tough. It's a rough place to inhabit. Making strides towards less of it is very worth the effort. It's damn hard to get your foot in the door but once you do then you can push with your arms and it gets easier.

Don't be afraid to live a little.....I guess any and all of you aren't afraid to live a little since you do or are joining us in TTWDITD.

graidawg · Post by **graidawg** » Sat May 14, 2011 4:38 pm

motskyroonmatick wrote:Er... Ah?

(raises hand)

Hmmm.

(puts down hand)

Ok

Drug(s), talk therapy, recognizing when my negative thoughts are preposterous, talking it out with my self, vocalizing facts about current feelings, several awesome friends to share things with, taking advantage of things I can choose to be happy about, more exercise, looking outward more and deciding I have a definite and growing place in the world. These things have all helped me gain a bit more traction in beating back depression and (perhaps it is just an excuse) midlife crisis. Oh and developing a crush on someone really really helps. That's a serotonin wind fall.

Depression is tough. It's a rough place to inhabit. Making strides towards less of it is very worth the effort. It's damn hard to get your foot in the door but once you do then you can push with your arms and it gets easier.

Don't be afraid to live a little.....I guess any and all of you aren't afraid to live a little since you do or are joining us in TTWDITD.

thanks, i was trying to say this earlier, i try sometimes i fail but i try having people here helps just igonring it helps

I dont think of myself as depressed (except when i'm down and looking for aneasy answer) i'm just down life does that, a kind word, a bit of support does more for me than any medication ever has.

A lack of belief in myself is my failing and i am sure one day i will either be happy or not be.

pills work for some people others use other methods, soem use many over the years

me? I'll let you know one day i will put my trust in someone who gives it back in one piece then i am sure i will be able to give advice thats actually worth something.

listen to me rambling on like its my own personal blog, Delle gave the right answer YMMV

Isotopia · Post by **Isotopia** » Sat May 14, 2011 8:04 pm

you should only speak for yourself. do not push drugs on people. drugs are not the answer when the problems are real.

Hey Macistan, how about this: shut up you donkey fuck, water head ass-monkey.

Having gotten that off my chest I'll say - with some reservation - that I'm glad you posted your profoundly non-cogent reply to someone who's obviously in some distress and searching for (or seeking acknowledgement of) ways to extricate themself from a crippling and very often a debilitating state of mind.

I think this board a has an often hidden ability to empathize with people who're in anguish but I'm not sure they're the best resource to get decent advice when the pain is deep, and entrenched and very, very personal.

Forgive me if I sound patronizing but the OP's issues are one's probably best resolved by talking to a professional rather than tossing bits here and there into the carp pond.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Sat May 14, 2011 9:24 pm

Sometimes it's nice that someone makes a perfect case for being plonked.

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Sat May 14, 2011 9:29 pm

You mean you haven't previously?