Lifestyle or Swinging Camps

ki_sama · Post by **ki_sama** » Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:45 pm

My wife and I are quite open with our sexuality and enjoy meeting likeminded couples on the Playa. She is bi-curious and I am a straight male. In the past we have wasted a lot of time, searching out people who share our interests. This year we would like to arrange in advance to meet a few couples or single ladies for recreational sex – our camp or yours?

Icepack · Post by **Icepack** » Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:08 am

I think there is a polymory camp or something like that. check out the theme camp listings.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:39 am

polyparadise in shangri-la village

Yonder Burn · Post by **Yonder Burn** » Wed Jul 28, 2004 11:59 pm

Kai Sama - this is a long shot, but have you been to BM before and on e-playa as "Interested Bystander"? If so hi and good to see you here again. If not hi and looking forward to meeting you at the E-playa M&G.
YM

Illiana · Post by **Illiana** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 8:12 am

Hello,

There will be a "Poly High Tea" held 4:30pm-6pm Mon-Sat. at the PolyParadise (Stuart gave the Theme Camp name). This is a rather nice event and a chance to meet and greet others of like mind and interests.

Cheers

Thrilljunkie · Post by **Thrilljunkie** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 9:47 pm

As a member of Poly Paradise I can assure you we are not a swingers group. If that is your main intention you would be better off looking someplace else.

thanks, have a good burn

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 10:32 am

Thrilljunkie wrote:As a member of Poly Paradise I can assure you we are not a swingers group. If that is your main intention you would be better off looking someplace else.

thanks, have a good burn

LOL! I wondered how long it would take for that old chestnut to roll down the hall.

As one who is both poly, and a swinger, you will find folk who have recreational sex at poly events, but they may or may not be open about that depending on the level of shit they get from those polys who don't do recreational sex at that same event/organization. A fair number of polys treat swingers in much the same way that the mainstream community does, with disdane, rejection, disapoval, and disassociation. As such some folk who attend poly events have who also have recreational sex have learned to be in a bit of a closet about their sexuality around their non-swinging poly friends.

Ron

scotto · Post by **scotto** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 2:51 pm

As Camp Daddy 'I asure you' that PolyParadise is NOT a Swingers Camp...We welcome ALL Poly Friendly folks to join us as well as the other great camps in Shangri-La Village (6:30/Mercury)

****We are a group of polyamorists seeking to live our dreams, and this camp is one manifestation of that. Polyamory involves openness to multiple loving relationships, with honesty among all partners.****

That quote is the Intro to our Yahoo Group as well as our web site. We all come to BM and PolyParadise from our own communities and our own households. Each with a different set of rules or understandings / agreements between the different people and groups of people who accompanied us to BM.

Burning Man is a society where customs are quite different than the default world. But this does not mean that it is a 'free for all'. The personal limits of others can easily be pushed or disregarded.

Please do not make any assumptions that because a person of either gender is naked that they want 'touch', in our camp as well as your ventures on the Playa. As Poly's we 'Process' in our own ways...Touching without asking or without having prior permission to do so is unacceptable in PP.

Make sure to come on by for the:

Human Carcass Wash
Mon-Sun
3p-4:30p

Poly High Tea
Mon-Sat
4:30p-6p

Scotto
24 days till we are on the road to BRC!!!
www.azcompuguy.com/polyparadise
www.shangrilavillage.org

Fix · Post by **Fix** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 4:17 pm

Right on Scotto...

There is a difference...my buddy and his wife are like the CEO's of Lifestyles in the default world outside the Playa that is a swinger based event promoting orginization with 500 to 600 couples at it's Las Vegas event alone.

On the other hand Scotto and his wife are also my friends and there is an understanding and a different kind of conduct all together with both groups. I can see the difference and trust that poly is not about sex in general it goes much deeper and is really based on a kind of love among the members and or participants.

As I have talked with and have told my my Lifestyles friend that Burning Man is not an event for promoting a commercial business or orginization.

So as such they have yet nor seem trilled to attend a camp or event where they cannot promote the business money making of swinging.

stuart · Post by **stuart** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 5:17 pm

sorry for the misdirection.

I guess my ignorance, being not a participant in what I am now told are two distinct lifestyles, is showing.

I was in the village (different camp) with the PP folks last year. Just thought I would pass on the reference, since they seemed swell folks and all.

that being said, someone care, in an unbiased fashion, to illuminate the differences?

Aliceinswingland · Post by **Aliceinswingland** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 9:35 pm

You know it’s kind of funny. My husband and I have been swingers for many years and yet I found it difficult to define exactly what a swinger was let alone what poly means! Here is the long definition! Let’s start by saying that swinging is an alternative lifestyle. Meaning the two people involved in that relationship set the rules and the standards for that relationship rather than say a church or society. So far we have included just about everyone who attends Burning Man! That means swingers are couples by definition since singles don’t have a relationship to set rules for. Singles do participate in swing parties and event but they are really just singles doing what singles do.

The vast majority (95%) of men in the swing lifestyle are straight. The majority (say 80%) of females are bisexual. More than 50% of the couples in the swing lifestyle have never had swinging sex with anyone other than their spouse. They like high energy sexy parties or maybe they just like to have sex while others are watching. The rest enjoy more direct pleasures from threesomes, foursomes, group sex, and gangbangs.

Sexy is cool with swingers. We like to dress sexy, look sexy, and flirt with others. We never spend a Friday and Saturday night babysitting the tube. There are swing clubs, swing conventions, and resorts that cater to swingers literally all over the world. When you are in the swing lifestyle your hobby is going to swing parties.

I knew that a lot of swingers attended Burning Man so I naturally thought there would be a theme camp with that sexual orientation. We looked expensively and didn’t find one. I think the reason for that is that BM is not a sexual event. Let’s be honest, how sex can a girl feel when she it’s 40 degrees out, and she is covered with a visible layer of white dust!

We do not just randomly touch or fondle anyone naked or not. We treat everyone with respect just like any other responsible adult. I’m sure Scotto didn’t mean that as directed at us, but I wanted to make that clear. Secondly swinger’s parties are not about getting naked and jumping into a pile. Swing parties are all about flirting, being sexy, and having fun with someone you may have just met. Do you remember the excitement you felt when you went out on a date for the first time with someone you really connected with sexually? That is what going to a swing party is all about. The only difference is that you might just go all the way on the first date! STD’s are very rare in the swing lifestyle and there has never been a documented case of AIDS within the lifestyle. You’ll never have to say No to swingers. Just like most people we can read body language. We’ll all know if there is a connection that is worth taking to the next level.

If I attempted to define what Poly was all about I’d screw it up so I’ll leave that to someone here who is part of that lifestyle.

Respect to everyone, we’ll see you at the Poly’s Carcass wash.

Vicki and Michael

Ron · Post by **Ron** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 1:55 am

stuart wrote:....

that being said, someone care, in an unbiased fashion, to illuminate the differences?

Can't be done. ;) There are as many ways to be both as there are folk who use the lables. Having said that here's the most common element of both lables that I've seen, after moving in these circles for years.

Members of both groups reject the standard, monogamous, model of romantic/sexual relationships we're taught to shoot for in Western culture. They do not believe that sexual exclusivity equates to fidelity, nor that the desire to have more than one sexual partner means that there is something lacking in one's current partner(s) or relationship(s).

Folk who call themselves swingers generally are more open to the idea of recreational sex than those who don't. They may or may not actually engage in recreational sex, but they probably like being in a place where others do so for the flirting and sexual charge. Swinging ranges all the way from folk who only attend 'lifestyle,' events to soak up the atmosphere, and never have sex with anyone outside of their relationship, to couples who seperate at the door and meet up at the end of the night to compare sexual adventure stories.

Folk who call themselves poly are generally looking to have multiple romantic relationships that overlap in time. As in the case in all romantic relationships sex may or may not play a significant role in any given connection between folk. Just as some monogamous marriages are largely sexless so too are some poly relationships. "It's not about the sex," is a commonly heard poly phrase. Poly relationships come in all kinds of shapes, forms, and models ranging from triads to networks of a dozen (or more) lovers and lovers of lovers.

Honestly is a commonly expressed core value in both cultures and many folk are members of both, in terms of their behavior. In fact, I don't know any swingers who couldn't also be called poly (using the common primary, secondary, triturate model of poly relationships), if lots of folk who call themselvs poly don't fit in the swinger box.

And, btw, I'd say over 20% of the swinging males I know call themselves "orally bi," anymore. Especially those under 35 years old. ;)

Ron, speaking only for himself and only from his own observations.

scotto · Post by **scotto** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 7:30 am

Aliceinswingland wrote: We do not just randomly touch or fondle anyone naked or not. We treat everyone with respect just like any other responsible adult. I’m sure Scotto didn’t mean that as directed at us, but I wanted to make that clear.
If I attempted to define what Poly was all about I’d screw it up so I’ll leave that to someone here who is part of that lifestyle.

Respect to everyone, we’ll see you at the Poly’s Carcass wash.

Vicki and Michael

Vicki,

You know that I was NOT directing anything towards you or Swingers in general.

As Camp Daddy of PP, I need to set some 'Rules' or 'Expectations' for those camping within our borders or those visiting us on the Playa. The knowledge that the women in our Camp are NOT on 'In or Out' Call and can only be enticed by 4 hours of Processing and reassurance of respect in the morning...LOL

Look forward to seeing you both again...Make sure to stop on by...

Love of Life & the Playa!!!
Scotto

ki_sama · Post by **ki_sama** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 2:39 pm

Like so many things in life, there is no black and white answer. There is instead a continuum of ideas, within which most are able to find a comfortable place that works for them. There is a very good little book at http://www.theswinginglife.com/books/co ... r-home.htm for those seeking another well-considered position.

buzcut · Post by **buzcut** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 3:48 pm

how goes it?
fighting same old battle I see...... heheh its all good we know....

check your e-mail most important stuffs I sent

buzcut

scotto · Post by **scotto** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 5:12 pm

Here are some definitions I have found that have great meaning to me and express my own views on poly...YMMV

Scotto

"Polyamory has to do with maintaining the potential to love more than one other person. If you do, you're poly, and if you don't, you're not. Who and/or how many people you have sex with, or why or how often or in what combinations, etc., isn't a relevant value."

"Polyamory means "Loving more than one". This love may be sexual,emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as a descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship, even if they are not currently involved in more than one. "

"I think that the term "polyamorous" defines a way of thinking about life rather than the actual practice. Thinking is entirely volitional, subject only to our internal limitations. "Practice" is often dependent upon opportunity and that is not always present. One can definitely be defined as poly with or without actual practice...if definition is all that important."

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:23 am

http://www.polyamory.org/ - the homepage for the alt.polyamory Usenet group. (Yes, people do still read Usenet.)

http://www.ourlittlequad.com/ - a personal site maintained by friends of mine in Vermont.

Aliceinswingland · Post by **Aliceinswingland** » Wed Aug 04, 2004 12:02 pm

Personally, I've found this discussion enlightening, thank you all for your input.

I would like to highly recommend the Human Carcass wash at Poly Paradise. I really enjoyed it last year and I’ll be back again this year. It was one of those very memorable events that I have told many people about. Maybe we’ll make it by for Tea sometime during the week.

We will be camping with the Conglomerate (The Glom) again this year. We’ll be located at 5:00 and Esplanade. Come on by and have a drink and if you wish you can arrange for that spanking you’ve always desired. I can be very gentle and then again sometimes not!

Vicki (aka Madam Lixxx)

Yonder Burn · Post by **Yonder Burn** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 2:21 am

I will come by to be spanked after being carcass washed!! Best of both.
Yonderxx

Das Bus · Post by **Das Bus** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 5:06 am

scotto wrote:Here are some definitions I have found that have great meaning to me and express my own views on poly...YMMV

Scotto
Who and/or how many people you have sex with, or why or how often or in what combinations, etc., isn't a relevant value."

OUCH!!!!!

PurpleKoosh · Post by **PurpleKoosh** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 4:29 pm

Das Bus wrote:
scotto wrote:Who and/or how many people you have sex with, or why or how often or in what combinations, etc., isn't a relevant value.
OUCH!!!!!

I'm sorry, but I fail to see how that comes across as a slam. Would you please clarify?

I am in a total of four committed relationships right now. The only reason my husband and my partner have seen each other naked is because we went hot tubbing together. What makes me poly is the fact that I LOVE all of these people, not the fact that I fuck all of them. And saying that I fuck all of them isn't accurate, either - due to his health, my husband and I have had sex less than once a year for the past decade, and I expect that frequency to decline still further.

There are people within the poly community that would say that this makes the partner I Burn with my primary. Never mind that my husband and I have been married 13 years, and that the one I Burn with doesn't live with us - I'm only sleeping with one of them, therefore he must be my primary. Sorry, no.

(And no, Lora, I don't mean to imply that you have said any of the above - the rant got away from me. Sorry.

)

Lifestyle or Swinging Camps

Lifestyle or Swinging Camps

kai sama - been before?

Poly Paradise not a Swingers camp

Re: Poly Paradise not a Swingers camp

Defining PolyParadise and its rules...

Still Confused?

hEY Scottooooooooooooo

Defining Polyamoury?

More resources

vicky - sounds fun

Re: Defining Polyamoury?

Re: Defining Polyamoury?