Don't Feed the Bears! and those Unicorns Kick!

[knowmad]

I'm a 3.14 on the Kinsey, in mind, habit, and body. It used to weird me out, but then I came to accept it, now it empowers me. And I most at home with my own.

We are the B in GLBT and we are real.

Bisexuality has been heavily discriminated against; most of the discrimination has surrounded the application of the word "bisexual" and scrutiny of the bisexual identity as a whole. The belief that bisexuality does not exist is common in society, and stems from two views. In the heterosexist view, people are presumed to be attracted to the opposite sex and it is sometimes reasoned that only heterosexuality truly exists. In the monosexist view, people are either exclusively homosexual (gay/lesbian), exclusively heterosexual (straight), closeted homosexual people who wish to appear heterosexual, heterosexuals who are experimenting with their sexuality, or cannot be bisexual unless they are equally attracted to both sexes.

I started this thread to help establish a sense of community within eplaya, and to let us hear advice and feed back from other Bi's We reach out to our Queer and Straight allies in support with our acceptance of ourselves.

And if you have discovered a new aspect of your Sexuality, on or off the playa, and you are having a hard time adjusting your internal self image because you surprised yourself by acting desires you had long suppressed. Then please post. you might B one of us.

[TomServo]

I french kissed a guy at Burning Man, because a girl told me to. My only complaint was that he hadn't shaved. Wouldn't sleep with a guy, but the experience wasn't all that bad. Never saw the girl again....but the guy, kept us up all night and morning with his fucking dubstep.

[oneeyeddick]

To my Grandma a bisexual is someone who likes to fuck anything that moves.

If you have seen some of her recent boyfriends you would agree with me that my Grandma is a Bisexual.

[unjonharley]

I french kissed a guy at Burning Man, because a girl told me to. My only complaint was that he hadn't shaved. Wouldn't sleep with a guy, but the experience wasn't all that bad. Never saw the girl again....but the guy, kept us up all night and morning with his fucking dubstep.

WE used to do shit like that in the navy.. Nice new division officer.. Poor bastard. Didn't know what to think.. He kept having us read and sign the UCMJ artical.. He also made sure he was never alone with any of us.. The other officers didn't tell him we were fucking with him.. We would throw an act that would fit into a guy parade very nicely.. The ship required us as NCO so he could'nt bust us..

[TomServo]

Ever cross the line?

[JStep]

Good post. I often think the big misconception is the view of the spectrum as one of having a fence in the middle and you're either on one side or the other (and no one likes a fence straddler) ... I've come to believe that the spectrum is one with opposite poles and no fence in the middle and most people are somewhere on the spectrum. Some closer to one end, some closer to the middle, but I'm crazy like that. I honestly feel that if we survive another thousand years and evolve we will come to recognize that things we make up like conventional definitions of race and sexual orientation don't really exist in any meaningful sense. It's just our social reinforcements that wont allow us to imagine things any other way. I think the evidence for that is empirical; San Francisco has a lot of GLBT activity because it's tolerant and open. Afghanistan does not because it's a closed minded homophobic social structure. People in San Francisco aren't genetically or intrinsically different from people in Afghanistan, resulting in more people "becoming" GLBT, they just live in and become acculturated to an environment that doesn't insist that they don't exist.

Well, that was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. (TWSS)

[essjay]

Good post. I often think the big misconception is the view of the spectrum as one of having a fence in the middle and you're either on one side or the other (and no one likes a fence straddler) ... I've come to believe that the spectrum is one with opposite poles and no fence in the middle and most people are somewhere on the spectrum. Some closer to one end, some closer to the middle, but I'm crazy like that. I honestly feel that if we survive another thousand years and evolve we will come to recognize that things we make up like conventional definitions of race and sexual orientation don't really exist in any meaningful sense. It's just our social reinforcements that wont allow us to imagine things any other way. I think the evidence for that is empirical; San Francisco has a lot of GLBT activity because it's tolerant and open. Afghanistan does not because it's a closed minded homophobic social structure. People in San Francisco aren't genetically or intrinsically different from people in Afghanistan, resulting in more people "becoming" GLBT, they just live in and become acculturated to an environment that doesn't insist that they don't exist.

Well, that was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. (TWSS)

Actually, Afghanistan is VERY gay. They just do it in different ways due to the social constricts that you explained. Just because the religion doesn't allow for open gayness, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. That would be like saying there are no gay priests . . .

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/docum ... boys.shtml

[delle]

I've already pretty much said my piece on how I feel about this topic (and especially the Kinsey Report and its scale) in another thread.

All I have to add to that is how completely surprised I am every time I hear someone from the openly gay camp dissing someone in the middle.

I mean seriously. WTF????

It just seems to me WORSE than the far right straight liners who have no tolerance at all for anything the least bit different..... To me the "ignorant" label for someone who has been through the hardship of coming to terms with their sexuality (when "outside the norm" <--which is a term I will NEVER accept) is a bit of a head scratcher that I'll never quite understand.

[Foxfur]

I found the test online an hour ago.
That was one long damn test!

[Sigmund]

Speaking of misconception, I think the one which explains all the fury, arguments, fights and tears during the last centuries have happened because the western culture has associated sex with procreation. But making babies is the last part of the sexuality. Sex is not about procreation, but about our own capacity to socialize, to the point where two people want to share something privately.

However, we centered our culture and our morale on building families, when it should have been the fulfillment of the people. But how can you be a good father or mother if you are, anyhow, frustrated and unsatisfied ? You keep your fears and frustrations secret, not knowing that you'll transmit them to your children. 'Til this day, we managed to grow and flourish on the surface of the Earth, but at what price ? How many people have renounced their true love, their inclination, and traded their own fulfillment for society' sake ?

Now the human population is so numerous that it puts our basic natural resources at stake. Scientists have already estimated that if all the developing countries wanted to live the average life of a Western guy, we'd need no less than 5 other planets Earth... So we'll soon have make drastic choices concerning the way we live as well as the way we consume our resources. UN estimates that around the year 2050, they'll be around 9 billion human beings on Earth. And we should still go procreating, as if space and resources were infinite ??

Of course not. So I guess we'll soon have to change our minds about non-procreative sex, and therefore, about homosexuality. Personally, I consider that pleasure can be drawn from everywhere, and not from a specific gender. So I keep an open mind.

[Elderberry]

Good post. I often think the big misconception is the view of the spectrum as one of having a fence in the middle and you're either on one side or the other (and no one likes a fence straddler) ... I've come to believe that the spectrum is one with opposite poles and no fence in the middle and most people are somewhere on the spectrum. Some closer to one end, some closer to the middle, but I'm crazy like that. I honestly feel that if we survive another thousand years and evolve we will come to recognize that things we make up like conventional definitions of race and sexual orientation don't really exist in any meaningful sense. It's just our social reinforcements that wont allow us to imagine things any other way. I think the evidence for that is empirical; San Francisco has a lot of GLBT activity because it's tolerant and open. Afghanistan does not because it's a closed minded homophobic social structure. People in San Francisco aren't genetically or intrinsically different from people in Afghanistan, resulting in more people "becoming" GLBT, they just live in and become acculturated to an environment that doesn't insist that they don't exist.

Well, that was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. (TWSS)

I'll drink to that!

[Savannah]

All I have to add to that is how completely surprised I am every time I hear someone from the openly gay camp dissing someone in the middle.

I mean seriously. WTF????

That bothers me, too. Sometimes it seems the more people have in common the more they struggle to differentiate themselves (mostly falsely).

I took a race relations class once, and the prof told us that in Puerto Rico there are about 6 degrees between black and white, which were sort of semi-permeable and flexible depending on one's wealth and class . . . and that's why (at the time I learned this) that there had never been a civil rights uprising down there . . . because if you were white (enough) or rich (enough) you could keep climbing and kicking and jockeying for position, and to hell with everybody else. Whereas in the U.S., you were what you were, so if you had a drop of black blood and/or couldn't Pass (parallels to being in the closet!), you had to band together with everyone else to fight for equality.

Anyway, it comes to mind when I glimpse similar things in the LGBT community. Power being splintered up, and useless levels of status being created, rather than being concentrated.

Although . . . way to go, New York.

[unjonharley]

/

Noticed one thing.. The big excuses

If your bi. it dose not excuse you from your marrage comitment..

I don't care what you call your self.. Jumping in the sack with another person behind your parteners back is wrong..

[Trishntek]

/

Noticed one thing.. The big excuses

If your bi. it dose not excuse you from your marrage comitment..

I don't care what you call your self.. Jumping in the sack with another person behind your parteners back is wrong..

Trish would flip out if I did anything behind her back,,,, mostly cuz she likes to watch! Being pretty much "gender fluid" myself doubles my chances of being frustrated. But it also doubles my chances of getting fondled

The bears might bite and the unicorns kick, but the Green Faerie merely sits on my nose and tells me, "Keep it simple stupid."

edit:
I just took the test and I guess I pretty much enjoy all humans. Another quiz I took had these results:
Switch
100%
Experimental
100%
Masochist
96%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
89%
Sadist
89%
Submissive
86%
Bondage
82%
Dominant
68%
Degradation Lover
61%
Vanilla
7%

[JStep]

Good post. I often think the big misconception is the view of the spectrum as one of having a fence in the middle and you're either on one side or the other (and no one likes a fence straddler) ... I've come to believe that the spectrum is one with opposite poles and no fence in the middle and most people are somewhere on the spectrum. Some closer to one end, some closer to the middle, but I'm crazy like that. I honestly feel that if we survive another thousand years and evolve we will come to recognize that things we make up like conventional definitions of race and sexual orientation don't really exist in any meaningful sense. It's just our social reinforcements that wont allow us to imagine things any other way. I think the evidence for that is empirical; San Francisco has a lot of GLBT activity because it's tolerant and open. Afghanistan does not because it's a closed minded homophobic social structure. People in San Francisco aren't genetically or intrinsically different from people in Afghanistan, resulting in more people "becoming" GLBT, they just live in and become acculturated to an environment that doesn't insist that they don't exist.

Well, that was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. (TWSS)

Actually, Afghanistan is VERY gay. They just do it in different ways due to the social constricts that you explained. Just because the religion doesn't allow for open gayness, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. That would be like saying there are no gay priests . . .

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/docum ... boys.shtml

Well, I think we might be quibbling over semantics but I meant there being more "glbt avtivity" not in the sense that there are people having sex with others of the same gender, I meant it more as in there is support, there are centers, student groups, etc. It's an accepted mode of being there so there's more evidence of it all around, whereas in oppressive environments there's *apparently* no glbt activity at all.

[graidawg]

/

Noticed one thing.. The big excuses

If your bi. it dose not excuse you from your marrage comitment..

I don't care what you call your self.. Jumping in the sack with another person behind your parteners back is wrong..

Trish would flip out if I did anything behind her back,,,, mostly cuz she likes to watch! Being pretty much "gender fluid" myself doubles my chances of being frustrated. But it also doubles my chances of getting fondled

The bears might bite and the unicorns kick, but the Green Faerie merely sits on my nose and tells me, "Keep it simple stupid."

edit:
I just took the test and I guess I pretty much enjoy all humans. Another quiz I took had these results:
Switch
100%
Experimental
100%
Masochist
96%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
89%
Sadist
89%
Submissive
86%
Bondage
82%
Dominant
68%
Degradation Lover
61%
Vanilla
7%

oo oo where is this ntek? that sounds fun! I am curious just how vanilla an online test tells me i am

[Trishntek]

http://quizfarm.com/

I'm trying to find the exact quiz,,,, more later

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/new/fredgirl1804/kinkiness/
this might work. I had to sign up to go back there which I didn't the first time

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poetict ... -for-bdsm/
This looks more like it

[Trishntek]

That last one was the one I took about 6 months ago. Sorry it took me awhile to find it. I just took it again and came out pretty much the same.

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Sex/poetict ... -for-bdsm/

SO THIS ONE IS IT!

[knowmad]

I've already pretty much said my piece on how I feel about this topic (and especially the Kinsey Report and its scale) in another thread.

Where was that tread? and would you mind bringing some of that over here? I started a search but .... You post better than I can read...

All I have to add to that is how completely surprised I am every time I hear someone from the openly gay camp dissing someone in the middle.

I mean seriously. WTF????

It just seems to me WORSE than the far right straight liners who have no tolerance at all for anything the least bit different..... To me the "ignorant" label for someone who has been through the hardship of coming to terms with their sexuality (when "outside the norm" <--which is a term I will NEVER accept) is a bit of a head scratcher that I'll never quite understand.

Agreed.
Early on I recognized that I did not like the Misogynistic mind set that is rampant through out Paternalistic heterosexual culture (or sadly "Culture at large") But the Jaw dropping Show stopper was encountering a Woman hating leather clad Bear of a man loudly berating his boyfriend for asking me what flowers would match what flower pot for a mothers day gift.
Or when my last Girlfriend looked embarrassed because her Bull Dyke friends told her "Well It's not like you got yourself a real man."
Yeah stuff sucks.

I found the test online an hour ago.
That was one long damn test!

And Survey says!? .....
*puts one bunny ear down, the other UP!*

[delle]

Where was that tread? and would you mind bringing some of that over here?

Here you go: http://eplaya.burningman.org/viewtopic. ... &start=120

(had a little trouble finding it myself, and I knew what it was!)

[essjay]

Good post. I often think the big misconception is the view of the spectrum as one of having a fence in the middle and you're either on one side or the other (and no one likes a fence straddler) ... I've come to believe that the spectrum is one with opposite poles and no fence in the middle and most people are somewhere on the spectrum. Some closer to one end, some closer to the middle, but I'm crazy like that. I honestly feel that if we survive another thousand years and evolve we will come to recognize that things we make up like conventional definitions of race and sexual orientation don't really exist in any meaningful sense. It's just our social reinforcements that wont allow us to imagine things any other way. I think the evidence for that is empirical; San Francisco has a lot of GLBT activity because it's tolerant and open. Afghanistan does not because it's a closed minded homophobic social structure. People in San Francisco aren't genetically or intrinsically different from people in Afghanistan, resulting in more people "becoming" GLBT, they just live in and become acculturated to an environment that doesn't insist that they don't exist.

Well, that was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be. (TWSS)

Actually, Afghanistan is VERY gay. They just do it in different ways due to the social constricts that you explained. Just because the religion doesn't allow for open gayness, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. That would be like saying there are no gay priests . . .

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/docum ... boys.shtml

Well, I think we might be quibbling over semantics but I meant there being more "glbt avtivity" not in the sense that there are people having sex with others of the same gender, I meant it more as in there is support, there are centers, student groups, etc. It's an accepted mode of being there so there's more evidence of it all around, whereas in oppressive environments there's *apparently* no glbt activity at all.

I understand what you are saying . . . I think their culture just has a different set of norms as to what is acceptable and if you look at it through that light, they do have their own "accepted mode". But, certainly no support groups


posted by a Bellevue West grad, take it for what its worth

[Dr Jet Sinister]

Those quizzes were fun! Nothing I didn't already know, like 4% vanilla, but entertaining.

I've always had a special place in my heart for gay men. Their openness is hard to match. After one comes out of their closet to themselves, their family, and the world there just isn't any more room for BS. Not that every gay man doesn't BS sometimes, but I think you know what I'm saying.

Then, I discovered my burning family and found the same sort of openness and honesty. Finally! Thank you all for being you.

[C.f.M.]

Switch
96%
Experimental
89%
Dominant
64%
Bondage
64%
Sadist
46%
Masochist
39%
Vanilla
36%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
36%
Submissive
29%
Degradation Lover
18%

"Then, I discovered my burning family and found the same sort of openness and honesty. Finally! Thank you all for being you."

My take, and it’s an obvious one: Burning Man is a big deal to people because it’s the one place they can be themselves. Maybe that means sitting around camp all day with a few close friends. Maybe it means sitting behind a glory hole all day. Doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want. It’s the security of the freedom, the relief from the anxiety of social conformity that appeals to people. It’s what life should be like. That’s the appeal. Regardless of what your personal interests are, we as humans share that one need to have fun and feel accepted and vital (both to ourselves and as a member of a community). - my blog

ETA:

“As far as Ellie’s concerned, gay men can be full-blown birds of paradise, with or without homemaking skills. They can just lounge around in their marabou mules, saying witty, brittle things that reveal their hearts of gold. Ellie likes them that way, that’s what they’re for, to toss scarves over the world’s lightbulbs, and straight men are for putting up sheetrock.â€

[Sigmund]

Let's talk less about sex ! The greatness of America is not made of words and wonders, but ACTS ! Now, when is this roman orgy scheduled ? Hmmm ? Come on, don't be shy !

And as Frank'n'Furter would put it :

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure.
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh.
Erotic nightmares,beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever.
Can't you just see it ? Oh oh oooooooooooh

[Foxfur]

I've already pretty much said my piece on how I feel about this topic (and especially the Kinsey Report and its scale) in another thread.

Where was that tread? and would you mind bringing some of that over here? I started a search but .... You post better than I can read...

All I have to add to that is how completely surprised I am every time I hear someone from the openly gay camp dissing someone in the middle.

I mean seriously. WTF????

It just seems to me WORSE than the far right straight liners who have no tolerance at all for anything the least bit different..... To me the "ignorant" label for someone who has been through the hardship of coming to terms with their sexuality (when "outside the norm" <--which is a term I will NEVER accept) is a bit of a head scratcher that I'll never quite understand.

Agreed.
Early on I recognized that I did not like the Misogynistic mind set that is rampant through out Paternalistic heterosexual culture (or sadly "Culture at large") But the Jaw dropping Show stopper was encountering a Woman hating leather clad Bear of a man loudly berating his boyfriend for asking me what flowers would match what flower pot for a mothers day gift.
Or when my last Girlfriend looked embarrassed because her Bull Dyke friends told her "Well It's not like you got yourself a real man."
Yeah stuff sucks.

I found the test online an hour ago.
That was one long damn test!

And Survey says!? .....
*puts one bunny ear down, the other UP!*

I'm still processing... Not sure how to feel about it yet.

[Elderberry]

I stopped taking those surveys when I stopped reading the horoscope. Both are of equal value. None!

If one doesn't know one's self by the time they get to be my age, trust me, no survey will help.

And, there is nothing wrong with liking something any more than there is something wrong with not liking something. Be it a trait, a life style, food, wine, whatever. And, there is nothing wrong with expressing or commenting on those preferences.

The only thing I think is wrong is when you try to impose or enforce your likes or dislikes upon others.

I know the areas of my life where I might be considered bigoted and I don't much care if others don't like how I feel about it. That is not my problem. In my life I choose to associate with things and people that fit into my perception of myself.

One thing I can definitely say about Burning Man is that it has had the most impact on changing and expanding my perceptions and helping to make room to fit so much more into my life than any other one thing I have ever done. (Which is why I keep coming back...it just keeps getting better.)

[graidawg]

[quote="C.f.M."]

"Then, I discovered my burning family and found the same sort of openness and honesty. Finally! Thank you all for being you."

My take, and it’s an obvious one: Burning Man is a big deal to people because it’s the one place they can be themselves. Maybe that means sitting around camp all day with a few close friends. Maybe it means sitting behind a glory hole all day. Doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want. It’s the security of the freedom, the relief from the anxiety of social conformity that appeals to people. It’s what life should be like. That’s the appeal. Regardless of what your personal interests are, we as humans share that one need to have fun and feel accepted and vital (both to ourselves and as a member of a community). - my blog

ETA:

“As far as Ellie’s concerned, gay men can be full-blown birds of paradise, with or without homemaking skills. They can just lounge around in their marabou mules, saying witty, brittle things that reveal their hearts of gold. Ellie likes them that way, that’s what they’re for, to toss scarves over the world’s lightbulbs, and straight men are for putting up sheetrock.â€

[graidawg]

Exhibitionist / Voyeur
86%
Switch
86%
Experimental
86%
Dominant
64%
Bondage
46%
Degradation Lover
43%
Submissive
43%
Sadist
43%
Vanilla
21%
Masochist
18%

oh gosh

[MisaBlue]

Sorry, whats the vanilla meaning here?


Switch
89%
Experimental
86%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
79%
Sadist
79%
Masochist
68%
Dominant
68%
Bondage
64%
Submissive
46%
Degradation Lover
43%
Vanilla
29%

[Dr Jet Sinister]

There are least 2 guys on here i really like (in an erotic way) i may have hinted at that, i dont want sex with them, i want to be there goddamn friend and to get the physical closeness and comfort you can only get from someone you trust. that probably doesn't make a lot of sense

Exactly! Not having the physical closeness of my burning friends and family is the hardest part about Sept-Dec.

Sorry, whats the vanilla meaning here?

It means 'old fashioned' or 'traditional' or 'religiously approved' sex. In other words, totally boring stuff.