I miss who i used to be...

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:49 pm

Bounce530 wrote:@ Crypto, I recently seperated from somebody very dear to me as well, and I can still feel her talking to me damn near everyday also...

Yeah, but you're supplying her dialogue from intuitive building on the memories you have. It's going on inside your head, not inside the heads of both of you or outside in the world. Believing that those things are real is the first step to becoming a stalker, or at the very least, miserable.

neopunk · Post by **neopunk** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:08 pm

Ha ha ha! Bounce! Crypto called u a stalker!! No, really Crypto I appreciate your imput. I'm thinking I'm still a little bit lonley...and hair dressers have a built in timer for old clientele. Its in my head and it won't take long to change my thought pattern. I have a feeling BM will bring closure..but its just a feeling.

Bounce530 · Post by **Bounce530** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:14 pm

I know, right! me, stalker...pfft...

When talking with her (real voice convo's) there have been more then a few big coincidences of feeling what the other was feeling/thinking.

/scurries back to the dark corner.

ETA- I'm with ya Neo about closure as such after BM...I know somehow/someway my life will take a turn after this years burn. Which way, I have no idea, but I'm sure something will different when I return home from the desert.

theCryptofishist · Post by **theCryptofishist** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:56 pm

Loneliness is perfectly normal. And I'm one of those who has to feel the loneliness rather than suppress it.

When I was younger I spent a lot of time living in places that weren't real. Getting over that, getting healthy and real again, was a lot of work. I hate to see people treading that path, because it brings pain and it's a whole lot of wasted effort. Sorry if I projected that on anyone.

neopunk · Post by **neopunk** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 4:21 pm

Well crypto, I never claimed to be very smart or know much...but I'm really enjoying what this thread is reflecting back to me as a human. Its showing me what people really think and feel. Isn't that. The most beautiful thing others can share? Who they really are, what they really think...your ideas are wonderful, whether it is "real" or not, I was looking for a place to share my ideas. Andi did. It might be silly or fantasy, but this is the place those ideas live and I am happy to share how I feel, because that is who I am. Thanyou for sharing how you feel. I hope, in my life, I learn not to need to share how I feel, for personal validation. Till then, CHEERS!

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:21 pm

UD! I'm so glad you're happy. Falling in love is such a wonderful feeling. It's very different than when we were kids. Mature love is warm, soft yet exciting and fulfilling. You are a lucky man!

Ugly Dougly · Post by **Ugly Dougly** » Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:07 am

neopunk wrote:I have a feeling BM will bring closure..but its just a feeling.

Ii can indeed happen that way. Just allow BM to be the vehicle for your transformation.

Thanks, MA, we're doing well.

neopunk · Post by **neopunk** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:12 am

Well you guys were right! I redirected my energy and I feel happy and vey optimistic today. The univers provides and I had a family 'adopt' me. A friend of mine I've know forever moved back into town. They have a huge house. The yard needs tons of work, it has a beautiful porch, and we r gonna get together on the weekends to crochet! Its very serindipitous...as I need some family time and lve the extra hand to help with making meals together, our kids are the same age, and she's a botanist, into permaculture. We've been talking about chicken coops and rabbit hutches and the bennies those animals bring to the garden and table. Its nice to have like minded company and now I feel like me again!
Also, I got asked out. So idk what I'm gonna do, but def. Closing the door in my heart and mind, to my past, allowed other energy back in my life I wanted and needed. Thanks for the support, this forum is super delicious! Now, can I delete my thread, or is it here forever? Not that I mind either way, just curious...

Post by **Elderberry** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:50 am

Nope, it's here forever. But at least it's a thread with a happy ending!

Bounce530 · Post by **Bounce530** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:51 am

high 5!
Hope it works out for you!

sounds like such a better place for you then where you've been.

Sic Pup · Post by **Sic Pup** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 1:59 pm

Yes! You go girl!

maryanimal · Post by **maryanimal** » Fri Jul 22, 2011 3:43 pm

neopunk wrote:Well you guys were right! I redirected my energy and I feel happy and vey optimistic today. The univers provides and I had a family 'adopt' me. A friend of mine I've know forever moved back into town. They have a huge house. The yard needs tons of work, it has a beautiful porch, and we r gonna get together on the weekends to crochet! Its very serindipitous...as I need some family time and lve the extra hand to help with making meals together, our kids are the same age, and she's a botanist, into permaculture. We've been talking about chicken coops and rabbit hutches and the bennies those animals bring to the garden and table. Its nice to have like minded company and now I feel like me again!
Also, I got asked out. So idk what I'm gonna do, but def. Closing the door in my heart and mind, to my past, allowed other energy back in my life I wanted and needed. Thanks for the support, this forum is super delicious! Now, can I delete my thread, or is it here forever? Not that I mind either way, just curious...

100+ Amen!

Closing the door in my heart and mind, to my past, allowed other energy back in my life I wanted and needed.

I'm doing the same thing as of today! Thank you for your inspiration!

neopunk · Post by **neopunk** » Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:10 am

Its very difficult MA. Just when I think I got this, something happens in my life, that hurts my core being and the first thing I do, is reach for my ex. That usually ends up hurting me more, but its a hard habit to break and my heart just cannot get over the fact that he is not there for comfort (ha!) Anymore.
I have strongly considered going to NA meetings to help cope with this behavior, as I am not strong enough or unwilling on whatever level to change it. I want him to make the world a better, safer place for me, because he has. And because he SAYS with his words that he wants to. But his actions do not coinside with his words. So it creates anxiety for me, because he is saying one thing, but doing another, as he has, since I've known him, and I should know better, but my heart implicitly loves and trusts him. Which leaves me chasing and running after my heart, like a little dog running out the back door, chasing a cat!!
Its quiet funny in a way. He hasn't done anything to deserve this trust and love, yet everyday I struggle to keep my heart to myself... but don't mind me, I'm just trying to figure it all out.
Good luck MA. Just remember, don't fall for his shit, and don't believe his WORDS. They are just things he tells u to make you (or himself) feel better, when really he's effn a bullshitter, who's unable to give to you, because he is a selfish child.

I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...

Re: I miss who i used to be...