Yeah, You! No Hovering in the Porta Potty!!

[lemur]

You know who you are..

the idea of an outside toilet makes you want to dIE and you dont even want to touch the door much less put yer ass on the seat.

you might be a newbie to burning man and have had only bad experiences with the potties youve used..


well.. stuff ends up being pretty good at burning man so long as the hoverers, and pukers dont fuck it all up.


get it in the hole!! ...not near it.... or just about.. but all the way in.


maybe it just comes easy for me because I grew up using this luxurious 2 seater model ...here it is with new seats installed.



keep it looking nice, y'all... don't make the job of the porta potty guys harder than it already is, and when you see them... tell them thanks, and treat them nicely!.. they have to put up with your shit all week

[Nymue]

THANK YOU!!!
I cannot stand hoverers!

[Sham]

Guys don't hover!

[Eric]

Guys don't hover!

If only this were true. I've seen piss sprayed all over the pots around the urinal. It may not technically be hovering, but they're certainly missing the hole.

[ygmir]

I've heard guys say they hover,,,,,,,,,don't want to sit on the seat...........yeah, I think it's even.
I said: "well, just follow me".

[Turnip]

Hands and faces are dirtier than the ass,

Even 1 inch from the damn crack.

[MyDearFriend]

Hands and faces are dirtier than the ass,

Even 1 inch from the damn crack.

Yep, you sure got that right.

And, all you ladies out there, listen up: hovering is not just bad manners, it is bad for your bladder! It leads to weak muscles, reduced capacity, and that dreaded made up disease du jour "overactive bladder." Plant your daggone fanny and pee. If a hoverer has been there before you, wipe the seat before you sit. If you absolutely must ruin yourself & piss off the rest of us, lift the daggone seat before you sprinkle.

And leave your funnel on the jug where it belongs.

There I feel a lot better now!

[BBadger]

YES. STOP THE HEATHENISM.

The BM utilities have been nice enough to give us the modern day convenience of a sitting toilet, so use it! You could be stuck with some damn ditch toilet like you'd find in China or at a Rainbow Family gathering. What more, you could end up pissing on yourself and looking and smelling like a complete stinky idiot.

After my epic shit from holding it in for a day and a half with some indigestion, I lost all my reluctance to plant my ass on the seat and empty myself into the hole. I did, however, remember to put toilet paper on the seat, even if it was dry... well, the times that I had time before I really had to let loose.

Oh, and dudes need to remember that the toilet stalls have urinals. The message at the back of one of the urinals informed me when I didn't notice: "USE THE URINAL FOR PISSING, ASSHOLE!" The message was duly noted!

And speaking of porta potty etiquette: placing an electronic music maker in the porta potty stall that repeatedly plays the "Birthday Song" in a tinny sound not unlike those devices in musical greeting cards does not add to the "ambiance" of the toilet experience especially while my head is swimming from booze. At the very least you could have it play "Ride of the Valkyries" or something to get the bowels going.

[robbidobbs]

Thanks Lemur for posting this. And thank all of you for your support.

If everyone treated the potties with respect, we'd all have a positive excremental experience each and every time.

[SouthernExposure]

At the very least you could have it play "Ride of the Valkyries" or something to get the bowels going.

Epic Shitting Soundtrack! Well played, SIR!

SE

[jella]

Get over yourself and sit your ass down, it won't kill you.
Little tip I learned from my bestie burner buddy Paula, the potty kit. Small shaving kit bag contents for the potty.

1. small flashlight
2. small amount of 1 ply paper.
3. little bottle of water, ladies this is a cracker jack place to "freshen up" aahhhhh feels nice and clean
4. small bottle of hand sanitizer.
5. ziplock and spare ziplock with half pieces of clorox wet wipe.....Absolutely never put them in the potty, put them in the other ziplock and take with you !!!!!

RESPECT THE PORTA POTTY !!!

[trueform]

I support this post. It sucks when people piss on the seat. I mean, someone doesn't want to sit on the "dirty" port=o=potty seat, so they hover and pee all over it. The reality is they're the ones making it gross. I agree that if everyone respected the port-o-potty we would all have a much better experience.

[junglesmacks]

You could seriously make an art project out of the portos at 7AM outside the corner sound camps. I have never in my life seen such a gnarly sight as that. I mean.. literally.. every type of body excrement possible completely sprayed like a firehose on every surface. Unreal.

[Savannah]

Guys don't hover!

Not true, sadly. I opened the door on an idiot too stupid to lock it while he squatted, sneakers planted on the toilet seat, apparently on a mission to go no. 2. (He had shoes on! Why not lift the lid at minimum? . . . Still wrong, but less chance of a misfire!)

I was so shocked by both the sight and the breach of etiquette that I forgot to curse him, his future idiot progeny, and extended family.

Thank God for travel size mini lysol . . . and funnels.

[Mojojita]

Last year I was just entering one of the portos when the door of the one next to it flew open and a lady with her pants down around her ankles screamed at the person who had exited just before her, "you pissed one the seat, you whore"!!!!!!

[Lassen Forge]

Pee is sterile.

You AIN'T gonna catch nothing from it.

Hell, some cultures clean a wound by peeing on it. It works - kills the bacteria.

So SIT YOUR ASS DOWN. You're not in Russia, or China, or some other place where squatters are the norm.



Yeesh, folks... WTF, you fuck some unwashed thing after being out there a week, in the dust of dessicated prehistoric fish shit, and rotting playa frog remains... and you're worried about a little pee on your buttskin?

[AntiM]

Last year I was just entering one of the portos when the door of the one next to it flew open and a lady with her pants down around her ankles screamed at the person who had exited just before her, "you pissed one the seat, you whore"!!!!!!

That could have been me, except I rarely use "whore". Dipshit or idiot or brainless bint, but not whore. Yes, I have stepped in the potty, then whipped right back out to yell at the pee on the seater. If it wasn't their pee? Too bad, they could have wiped it off and sat that dainty dimpled dumper down.

[Mojojita]

Nope, wasn't you - I would have recognized you even with your pants 'round your ankles.

[ygmir]

Last year I was just entering one of the portos when the door of the one next to it flew open and a lady with her pants down around her ankles screamed at the person who had exited just before her, "you pissed one the seat, you whore"!!!!!!

That could have been me, except I rarely use "whore". Dipshit or idiot or brainless bint, but not whore. Yes, I have stepped in the potty, then whipped right back out to yell at the pee on the seater. If it wasn't their pee? Too bad, they could have wiped it off and sat that dainty dimpled dumper down.

precisely!!

[theCryptofishist]

Guys don't hover!

If only this were true. I've seen piss sprayed all over the pots around the urinal. It may not technically be hovering, but they're certainly missing the hole.

Oh god, my college sex life just flashed before my eyes...

[AntiM]

The dreaded three little words: "Is it in?"

[robbidobbs]

You could seriously make an art project out of the portos at 7AM outside the corner sound camps. I have never in my life seen such a gnarly sight as that. I mean.. literally.. every type of body excrement possible completely sprayed like a firehose on every surface. Unreal.

BOO-YAH! That fuckin got a guffaw outta me. Holy bloody hell I need to make signs out of this whole fucking thread next year!

[jella]

The dreaded three little words: "Is it in?"

~~cleaning off screen~~~. again.....thanks Fishy and AntiM for painting such a lovely combined image

[BBadger]

Pee is sterile. You AIN'T gonna catch nothing from it. Hell, some cultures clean a wound by peeing on it. It works - kills the bacteria.

That's the irony though: the only reason there is urine on the seats is because of the people who think there is.

I'll actually wipe that piss off if I see it (and provided there is any tissue left).

[MyDearFriend]

Yeah, and these chicks who hover & sprinkle & make everything nasty, they can never empty their bladders completely so then they have to go in there two or three or TEN times as often as normal sensible people and that makes things even worse! Not to mention using up all the daggone toilet paper...

Please. Get. Over. Yourselves.

Please...

[Nymue]

That's the irony though: the only reason there is urine on the seats is because of the people who think there is.

I'll actually wipe that piss off if I see it (and provided there is any tissue left).

Exactly! Same here. Unfortunately this is actually a daily exercise for me in the bathroom stalls at work. Give me a goddamn break, ladies. They're so freaked out about germs, so they spray their own urine all over the seat (and I've seen it on the floor too!) and leave it for the next person to deal with. Get over it and PLANT. YOUR. ASS. If everyone did that, there wouldn't BE pee on the seat.
And I work in a professional setting too. Pretty damn sad.

This is a huge pet PEEve of mine.
That and the incorrect and superfluous use of apostrophes! But that's another topic entirely.

[BBadger]

Exactly! Same here. Unfortunately this is actually a daily exercise for me in the bathroom stalls at work. Give me a goddamn break, ladies. They're so freaked out about germs, so they spray their own urine all over the seat (and I've seen it on the floor too!) and leave it for the next person to deal with. Get over it and PLANT. YOUR. ASS. If everyone did that, there wouldn't BE pee on the seat.
And I work in a professional setting too. Pretty damn sad.

At offices too?! Where there is infinite toilet paper, sewer systems, and even some of those toilet seat covers?

And here I thought it was bad enough that dudes somehow miss the urinal and paint the wall.

Another ironic thing about your office situation is that the bathroom is probably the cleanest area of the office (well, prior to people pissing on it). It's periodically being doused in disinfectant, waste is flushed out regularly, people wash their hand, etc. The place with the most germs? The office water dispenser. People touch their mugs and other shit to those spouts all the time. Food, cream scum, stale coffee, etc. gets all over those things and nobody washes them. Plus, the mouth/cups is where tons of real germs come from, only to breed and incubate on the water dispenser. The drinking fountain is far cleaner with as it isn't interacted in that same manner.

I also wonder what kind of germs these people think they'll be getting while sitting on a toilet seat? Most effects from germs in the bathroom come from people handling their junk, not washing their hands, and preparing food. Yeah, hovering would be acceptable if you were planting your face-cheeks on the toilet seat; hugging the porcelain is probably not good when you're heaving. But the ass? Are they the idiots who believe you can get herpes from a toilet seat? Do they think that the well-sat-in seats in the conference room are any better? That "germs" will not penetrate pants? That the areas of your body expelling waste are probably the best suited towards fighting off the effects of it? Don't these people wash their hands anyway?

ARGH!

[Raymaker]

too many people are enjoying posting to this thread.

[DoctorIknow]

Wow...so many here pissed off about a little piss on the seat!

at BurningMan '98, a whole bank of porta-potties were more than maxed out, as in a slowly building mountain of crap ascending from just below the toilet seat. True. Happened. Can't erase the image from my mind. Never saw that before or since.

Imagine that image as you walk in the stalls this year and you will be pleased to only see piss on the seat.

[jella]

Wow...so many here pissed off about a little piss on the seat!

at BurningMan '98, a whole bank of porta-potties were more than maxed out, as in a slowly building mountain of crap ascending from just below the toilet seat. True. Happened. Can't erase the image from my mind. Never saw that before or since.

Imagine that image as you walk in the stalls this year and you will be pleased to only see piss on the seat.

Talk about putting things into perspective