Is facebook killing the magic of BM?

[wh..sh]

So, since i have been back from BM, I have been debating with myself on this topic.
It's time to share the misery, no?

Quick background -

So I met this person on Thursday night. You know how they say life is about the moments that count. To me, the single most AMAZING, MAGICAL memory I have about BM are the moments I spent with this person. Though it wasnt long, it certainly is the memory I cherish the most. We parted in an unexpected way. I have no information about this person. I have this strong urge to find this person in real world (I know i can't).

But that got me thinking, will it still be magical if I met this person in real world ?

Today, most of us can find people on facebook and re-connect more easily that we could before. But does that "belittle" that single most awesome moment you had? Say you meet again, it might or might not be the same. But if you dont find this person, that person in your head is still what you saw of them that one night, in the middle of nowhere, alone amongst the crowd. To me its a beatiful memory. The real life and facebook would just kill that magic of simple human bonding.

So, should a person pull a fish net over facebook or just smile over the time you had? Should we really re-connect with everyone we meet?

PS: This obviously doesnt apply to ppl you shared no connection with.
And if I sound like a bit of a romantic... pbthhhhhh!!!

[goathead]

Have a beer and enjoy.

Some of my campmates couldn't come this year.
Some of my family has no interest in going, but are amazed by the art.
Do I share all of what I did on the playa? NO.

Share what you want, and enjoy the rest.
Your thinking to much.

[Boojum]

Yeah just roll with it.

[hookahdude]

No.

[The CO]

Might be killing it for you. For me, not so much.

[JStep]

It only enhances it for me. We formed a group and planned our camp for months on facebook. Then at BM we met a lot of very cool people, mostly neighbors that we ended up hanging out with a lot and got all together after the Man burn for a mass party cruise. Since we got back we have all connected on FB. During BM we all planned to camp together again, maybe as one camp or maybe (more likely) as neighboring/affiliated camps.

The only magic in life is in your mind. One persons magical experience is another's yawn fest. Enjoy the memories....

[Timezone LaFontaine]

The best aspects of Burning Man should change your life 365 days a year, not be held in a magic bubble that only exists during that one week. Will it "kill the magic" to reconnect with this person outside of Black Rock City? Maybe the magic you experienced is too strong to exist bottled up in a memory.

[BBadger]

What's Facebook?

[junglesmacks]

Might be killing it for you. For me, not so much.

[mattmelnicki]

i'm on the fence about this too:

last year i had a wonderful connection with someone; i had given my contact info to him but neglected to get his. (I also neglected to take a picture of us together!) I waited all year, confused and forlorn, and tried to locate him on facebook but only knew his generic & androgynous first name (Sam).

This year I sincerely hoped to run into him but didn't know how to go about it. I believe on the playa we find people when we stop looking for them... on saturday afternoon, he walked by JUST when a stranger man randomly taught me a healing exercise (involving hugging and bestowing lovely statements to a passerby). My teacher was just saying, "Your homework is to do this to several people tonight", when Sam walked by. There was no one I would have rather done the exercise with! Before I even finished the exercise, Sam started crying, and he even interrupted the "script" of the exercise to say "I love you" at the moment I was supposed to say that to him! I'm kinda prudish and haven't had much love in my life, so you can imagine the magic we both felt. I didn't want to let go of him for the impending Man Burn, but I had my daytime clothes on as well as my sunglasses, so we agreed to meet at the rainbow light tunnel near the temple shortly after the people rushed up to the man fire. Unfortunately the rainbow light tunnel art sculpture was not turned on right away (and then later went on only for a few minutes)! I waited for an hour, but now consider it a missed connection, for the second year in a row.

I now know his city and his occupation and I imagine I could snoop him thru the internet, or possibly find him on facebook, but I agree with the OP's predicaments... i trust that next year our chance encounter will be even more amazing, and worry that the whole chemistry between us will fizzle if I were to seek him out now!

and on the contrary, I became very close with many of my campmates over the past year thru facebook, in ways that have changed my life (eg, my introduction to tarot cards thru someone's insightful post, one begging me to come again, my discovery of a new poetic medium -- the facebook commentpoem-loveletter)

[Lassen Forge]

I don't FB much, so no. I may sound fogey, but FB is too damn impersonal. Plus... I can't get it at work! (lucky 4 me!)

As to magic... I PM'd someone this morning. You ever write to someone and you get to know them on line, then you meet them F2F and your knees buckle?

That happened a lot this year, esp. with a few. One in particular, I'm glad he and this other woman had an instant chemistry, because, well... yeah. And this married wench, I woulda been in deepley trouble! Another, I loved this woman's writing, and at the F2F I had this HUGE grin, because, well, it just was. You know that bond.

[flower_2011]

Isn't it a beautiful thing to be able to stay connected to someone whom you shared a great moment with? Contact (whether it's via phone, email or FB) doesn't dilute memories but rather it allows you to (potentially) have more special moments in the future. my .002

[spiralcma]

I totally agree with the original poster. I don't want to know everyone' daily stuff, which is what you get on FB. Sometimes the magic is knowing someone for just a moment. For me, I want the people that are already established in my life to be on my FB feed and no one else. I don't like to get to know people better through FB, you know? Get to know someone in real life and then add them on FB. But for those people we have fleeting moments with, leave it be. I met a man from germany on the playa this year and I have so much love for him, eventhough I only spent one evening chatting with him. I would never try to find him on FB as I feel it would just cheapen the magic I felt with him. I know not everyone's that way, but that's how I feel about it.

[junglesmacks]

Personally, I take my "friends" list on FB very seriously.. in that.. if you're on there, you are either: Family, long time friend, close friend or someone of great interest that I would like to dialogue with on a constant basis.

I don't friend random acquaintances, business contacts (HUGE nono), or other people that I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing my 2am drunken postings and/or ass shots.

Are there people on my FB list that I know because of BM? Absolutely! Are they genuine friends that I've taken the friendship beyond BM and into everyday life and I value having that with each and every one? Absolutely.

[RedHeaven]

In a way, FB is kililng magic out there on a daily basis. It is however, also creating magic. Depends.

I think going from Playa love to ReAlity love just proves to us that lust and romance is in our minds and hearts of ourselves, our perception, and people are just influences and inspiration to unlock it. Kind of a sad thought but empowering in a way, too. Sure, what you dont know wont hurt you and you can retain the fantasy, but fantasies are made to change like everything else. Just know the rollercoaster will go back up if you allow it to.

One things I have learned at Bman is to not LAG on getting contact info unless you are really just into momentary connections. I take each one as they come but I am WAY less hesitant to get someones info in the middle of whatever. Sometimes, in real life the playa fantasy and love dies. sometimes it just grounds out and sinks in. Sometimes it flowers into a great friendship. You just never know, facebook or no facebook.

[Solito]

I friended several people dear to me after the burn. Amazingly they are just as awesome every day as they were at Burning Man. Seriously. I <3 Black Rock City.

[Solito]

Solito LIKES this thread. ;D ::Thumbs Up::

[mattmelnicki]

... It is however, also creating magic. Depends. ...

... people are just influences and inspiration to unlock (love)....

One things I have learned at Bman is to not LAG on getting contact info unless you are really just into momentary connections...

thank you, this is wonderful, RedHeaven!

i haven't learned that lesson well enough ye -- to GET contact info sooner rather than later... (but i have learned to ask rather than give -- my missed connection (2 years in a row!) admitted losing the poetry journal I gave the year before)...

but I have learned this year that love is ours to GIVE, that it is a lot like money (you have to spend it) except that it is infinite... and that there is no such thing as wrong... i had a great lesson about this from a random man, my "hug guru", and I asked him, "do you ever worry about being overwhelming?" -- and he reminded me that, as long as you don't give up loving people, you only get better at it. for the amount of people i have alienated myself from, it is incomparable to the amount of amazing people i have had positive and memorable communications with. and, to be honest, so many of those people i continue to communicate with off-playa. facebook only becomes a trap when you ignore the people you already are friends with because your attention is instead fixed on finding someone else in the swirling sea of people and identities.

[Packoderm]

I set up a separate account on facebook with my playa name that has only playa family members. Our facebook conversations after the burn are really fun with sharing of photos and love. After a while, I will probably go back to my default facebook account that has my default friends. When tickets go back on sale, I'll probably start visiting my playa account again at least sporadically and then get heavy with the playa account when August rolls around.

[bgirl]

A similar question was asked years ago but of electronic music. The year was 1997 and techno-electronic music was integrating into the fabric of BM. The year before in 1996, the techo-electronic music camp, Techno-Village, was specifically located 2 miles N/E of centre camp, and I don't recall hearing any other electronically based music around the rest of Black Rock City that year. Then 1997 came and went and the bitchin' started. Some people were complaining that too much techno music throughout Block Rock City was ruining the experience and magic of BM. There were fights between some groups of opposing musical taste. Can you imagine BM without electronic music now??!!!??! Change is inevitable, it is the only constant. The first year I went was 1996, people said then that too many people were going to BM.... and the event could not sustain such an influx of people and still retain it's magic.

[MOOP_Nazi]

FB isn't doing anything its users don't want it to.

Stating FB is killing the magic of Burning Man is like stating that McDonald's is making people fat.

I have never had FB spontaneously start adding people to my list of friends, nor have I ever been abducted by a McDonald's employee and force fed Big Macs and French Fries.

Take responsibility - if you search and add - YOU killed the magic - NOT FB.

Own it for fuck sake.

[gaminwench]

ummm... bgirl...

YES!
I can, and do, imagine BRC techno-free...

please, could we????????

or, at least, keep the art at a decibel level that doesn't attack unwilling participants...

[Sic Pup]

I set up a separate account on facebook with my playa name that has only playa family members. Our facebook conversations after the burn are really fun with sharing of photos and love. After a while, I will probably go back to my default facebook account that has my default friends. When tickets go back on sale, I'll probably start visiting my playa account again at least sporadically and then get heavy with the playa account when August rolls around.

It looks like The Burning Man Project has a ways to go.

[Packoderm]

I set up a separate account on facebook with my playa name that has only playa family members. Our facebook conversations after the burn are really fun with sharing of photos and love. After a while, I will probably go back to my default facebook account that has my default friends. When tickets go back on sale, I'll probably start visiting my playa account again at least sporadically and then get heavy with the playa account when August rolls around.

It looks like The Burning Man Project has a ways to go.

In this regard, yes, I guess so. My playa family is more like my family, and my default friends are more like contacts and friends. It's just like I access this site when I'm interested in discussion related to Burning Man, and I access Bajanomad when I'm interested in discussion based on travel in Baja California. I'm not striving to connect the two.

I do believe I do a small part toward the Burning Man Project if I am indeed interpreting it correctly. I am giving our camp's bikes (about 20 in all) to students at the high school where I teach. I explain to them that the bikes belong to my Burning Man family, and that they are not mine to sell, so they are indeed free. This was difficult for many of them to wrap their minds around. I'd tell them that to sell them for profit would go against the Burning Man principles. The only bikes I don't give away free and clear with no catch at all are the bikes I award for winning Math Bingo or some other incentive for learning, but mainly just I show up each day with a bike in the back of my pickup with a note stating, "Free Bike, ask me about it in Room 4," taped to the handlebars. I will unlock the bike for any student who removes the note from the handlebars and gives the note back to me when they are done with their last period of the day.

[bgirl]

Ha, ha!! Gaminwench, it looks like the debate is still on!!

[Elderberry]

You know that if you use groups you can keep all your burning man stuff private without the need for a separate account.

I set up a separate account on facebook with my playa name that has only playa family members. Our facebook conversations after the burn are really fun with sharing of photos and love. After a while, I will probably go back to my default facebook account that has my default friends. When tickets go back on sale, I'll probably start visiting my playa account again at least sporadically and then get heavy with the playa account when August rolls around.

[Packoderm]

We have our endorphin group, but I think it works really well with separate accounts. Our camp fb activity is just now starting to die down.